Advertising
Advertising

Top 10 Phrases Unsuccessful People Always Use That You Need To Avoid

Top 10 Phrases Unsuccessful People Always Use That You Need To Avoid

There are a number of phrases that people who are unsuccessful use regularly which should never be said anywhere. Successful people just don’t say these things, because they know the pitfalls of using such negative, patronizing and self-interested terms. If you catch yourself about to say one of these things, think about how it would make you look and sound to others and find a better way to say it.

Here are the top 10 things Unsuccessful people say that Successful people never should:

1. “That’s impossible”

Most things we encounter at work are not impossible. They might be hard or take time, but usually they can be achieved with right amount of effort and resources. Discounting ideas others have is a bad idea. People who use this phrase automatically shut down dialogue and criticism, intentionally, hoping that everyone will agree with them.

Advertising

2. “I can do it all myself.”

This term is often used by micro-managers, and those who put themselves out as martyrs to work. It implies ‘I don’t need you’ and will not win you any friends at work. Successful people have better ways of engaging at work and they don’t try to show how competent they are. That rarely works. Saying you can do it all makes you look arrogant, sneaky and suspicious, because people will wonder why you don’t want to or can’t work with others. Try instead, “I’m looking forward to doing this, and to getting some help along the way.” Then, if you don’t need it, you’ve still been friendly and demonstrated a willingness to wok with others.

3. “I have a problem with that.”

By saying this, you give the message that you have a problem with the work, and with your colleagues. No one wants to look like they aren’t ready to roll up their sleeves, and get the job done. If you don’t agree with something, come up with a solution and share it with others. You will look like someone who has ideas, and solutions, not just complaints.

4. “Don’t forget the details.”

Telling someone not to forget the details is very patronizing. If you think they will forget, you can let them know you are there if they want to run the details by you. That way you show you have confidence in them and their work, but that you are also there to support them, and if you are their manager, that you will be checking, as you should.

Advertising

5. “I like my own idea.”

This is a very self-centered view and most people will shut down when they hear it. Even if you think your view is the best, there are better ways to let people know then by stating it. Tell people what your idea is, and ask for feedback. People will feel you care about their view and you might win them around, which you will have to do anyway to be successful. Getting buy-in for any idea takes effort, and it can’t be done by telling others you are right.

6. “I don’t need your input.”

Saying this is extremely arrogant and doesn’t belong in any conversation. Respecting others and their point of view is an essential part of being a responsible adult. It shows that you know how to listen, and to take on board other ideas. Say this at your peril.

7. “I already know that.”

You might already know something, but letting people have their say is as important as hearing what they say. Demonstrate active listening to show you hear the other person and really digest the information. Being flippant towards others is rude, and insulting. No one wants to work with people like that.

Advertising

8. “Let me check my schedule.”

This non-committal response is all too common in today’s digital world, where people prefer texting to talking to each other. The message you send with this is that you are too busy or important to make a commitment to a time. A better approach is to ask when they are free, and to get back to them as soon as you can, or to suggest a time and then change it if you have to. Making a commitment and keeping it are critical in business and in life. If you don’t, or are prone to cancel regularly, you will soon be dismissed as unreliable.

9. “You must be wrong about that.”

Putting yourself above others is never the right way to behave. Even if you think someone is wrong, you should verify the facts, and if they have made a mistake, let them know you confirmed the info and what you found out, without pointing blame at them. Children point fingers, not adults. You will look silly and immature using this term.

10. “I can’t.”

This is probably the worst offender on the list of never say phrases. Saying you can’t means that others will soon stop asking, because it’s too hard to get you to agree. Some people use this term as a tactic, so they won’t be asked again to do things or go places they don’t want to. But saying yes you can is often the best reply and it shows you are willing to do the work and try something new. Successful people say yes far more often then they say no, because they see opportunities to grow and learn all around them.

Advertising

Whenever you find yourself about to use one of these phrases of unsuccessful people, stop and think about how you will sound and how you will look.

More by this author

Job Applicant 12 Things Job Applicants Should Stop Doing 10 Super Easy Ways To Become A Morning Person Have A Confident Mindset In A Way Most People Don’t Know Top 10 Interviewing Tips to Hire the Best Talent Job Interivew 5 Things to Watch out for about Your Potential Boss in a Job Interview

Trending in Productivity

1 How to Be More Creative and Come up with Incredible Ideas 2 Habits and Motivation: Master Both for Big Results 3 How to Improve Concentration and Sharpen Your Attention at Work 4 10 Reasons Why You’re Demotivated and How to Overcome It 5 How to Prevent Inaction from Leading to Regret

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Be More Creative and Come up with Incredible Ideas

How to Be More Creative and Come up with Incredible Ideas

Regardless of how creative you already consider yourself to be, there’s a good chance you would like to level up your creative abilities.

You might want to write a better song, think of better solutions to problems at work or around the home or maybe paint a picture.

In any case, the good news is that creativity is not born: it’s made, and each one of us has the potential to be more creative and come up with incredible ideas.

“Creativity is any act, idea, or product that changes an existing domain, or that transforms an existing domain into a new one.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

The definition of creativity is broad, and reminds us that creativity is not limited to artists or musicians. It does however require that we have some kind of impact on the domain in which we create.

Creativity also emphasizes values.

“The process of having original ideas that have value” — Ken Robinson

This makes up for what Csikszentmihalyi misses out. For instance, we can make a change in the world without adding significant value. Any destructive act, like smashing a window, creates change, but it doesn’t necessarily create valuable change.

In short, there isn’t one single definition of creativity It’s up to us to find a definition that feels true and useful. When you know what your standard is, It’s much easier to embrace creativity and start to cultivate it.

And in this article, you will learn how to be more creative and take a good look at what goes into the creative skill:

1. Cultivate Focus

In order to create, there needs to be a focus on creating something, whether it’s a song, a theory, a product, or a sculpture.

You could also call this “drive” – it’s the initial spark that drives the solution to a problem, or the will to get on your laptop and start typing.

However, it’s worth noting there are different stages to the creative process: the divergent stage and the convergent stage.

In the divergent stage, we want a broad focus – we want to be willing to let in lots of different inputs, ideas and insights. This is the time for brainstorming all possible ideas and solutions.

In the convergent stage, we start to narrow our focus, like a camera lens. At this stage, we start to drill down to a handful of ideas or solutions, discriminating throughout the process.

How to cultivate focus?

Advertising

Take a 20 Minute Walk

Walking away and getting your heart rate up is the best free tool you have in regaining your focus.

I know it might seem counterintuitive to take a break right when you’re at your busiest, and especially when you’re drowning in your massive to do list, but the effects it will have on your clarity and ability to focus are undeniable.

Walking is physiologically proven to release stress, and clear your mind. In fact, most of my most brilliant ideas (and some pretty terrible ones too) have occurred on my daily walks.

If you give this technique a try, what you’ll find is that you’re much more productive than you were before you took a breather.

Over time, if you do these walks daily, you’ll quickly find that your to-do list starts to feel a lot less significant, and a lot more doable. It’s all about keeping razor focused, and that’s what short daily walks will gift you.

2. Build a Structure

When I wake up in the morning, I start the day with a structure in mind. I know that 15 minutes will be dedicated to meditation, 30 minutes to coffee and reading, 20 minutes to yoga and so on.

The structure of this morning routine might be boring, but the act of each task in itself has the potential to be, on some level, “creative.”

The point of structure is that it gives you the space to make time for something you want to do. It helps you carve out the time to do your creative work. Once you begin that thing in itself, you are free to go about it however you’d like.

Without structure, we can lose focus and can feel overwhelmed with possibility. If you’ve ever looked at a blank page and felt too overwhelmed with possibility to make a mark on it, you’ll know what I mean. How much easier it gets when you are given some guidelines or a deadline?

The trick is finding the right amount of structure for you and your creative needs. Too little structure and we feel overwhelmed. Too much structure, and we risk feeling limited and stifled.

Again, it’s worth thinking about creating in those two stages: divergent (less structure) and convergent (more structure.)

How to build a structure?

Create a Morning Routine

Your morning routine doesn’t have to be rigid or so arduous you dread waking up. In fact, it should feel like the opposite. When you get a routine that works for you, you’ll look forward to starting the day.

We all have different needs and preferences which can shape our ideal routine. In the book, Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey, you can be inspired over 160 different creators’ daily routines, from Charles Darwin to Pablo Picasso.

Experiment with any that take your fancy, and see how you feel with a bit more structure to start your day.

You can also take a look at this article about morning routine for inspirations: The Ultimate Morning Routine to Make You Happy And Productive All Day

Advertising

3. Find Motivation

There is a theory that suggests: people will be most creative when they feel motivated primarily by the interest, satisfaction, and challenge of the work itself — not by external pressures. This is also known as intrinsic motivation; a drive that comes from within.

Think of a time when you did some of your best work — chances are you were totally absorbed in what you were doing, to the exclusion of everything else. You were completely focused on the work itself, barely noticing time flying by.

Now think of a time when you felt under pressure to perform. Maybe it was an exam, or a commission for an important client, or maybe your boss had told you “there’s a lot riding on this.”

Notice the difference? In the first memory, you were driven by intrinsic motivation, which made it relatively easy, even enjoyable, to be highly creative.

In the second memory however, extrinsic motivation was breathing down your neck, distracting you by whispering about the rewards for success and the horrible consequences of failure: likely making it harder to focus on the task at hand.

For this reason, intrinsic motivation, if you can find it, is what separates the good from great creative work.

This isn’t to say only internal motivators help. I personally get motivated by luring myself to work with a good cappuccino at my favourite cafe. That will get me ready to write or edit or whatever I’ve been avoiding.

How to find motivation?

Connect to Your “Why”

Your “Why” is your fuel: the thing that drives you forward, that gives you a reason to do what you’re doing.

‘He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.’ — Friedrich Nietzche

When you have a reason to do something, a purpose or a goal that matters to you, you can connect your daily actions to it. Then, each act becomes infused with meaning and you find that intrinsic motivation comes naturally.

The trick is to remember your “why” and connect with it on a regular basis.

Think about how you want to feel on a daily basis. What would you like to accomplish in the next year? What would you like for yourself in the next five years? How about in your lifetime?

Ultimately, the tasks you face on a daily basis, or at least some of them, will connect to a greater purpose if you follow this path and you will find you feel more motivated to create and less resistance.

If you aren’t sure where to start looking for motivation, this will help: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up

4. Be an Expert in a Chosen Domain

Research has shown that just as expertise in one domain does not predict expertise in other unrelated domains; creativity in one domain does not predict creativity in other unrelated domains.[1]

Advertising

So just because you can paint a pretty picture, doesn’t mean you can creatively solve a mathematical problem.

If you’ve taken one of those tests like the Torrance Tests of Creative Thinking, which will ask you to think of a bazillion uses for a pencil, and scored well, unfortunately this is only an indicator of divergent thinking skills. It is not a predictor for creativity all round.

The good news is, you can train your creativity in your chosen domain. Much like a muscle, you can isolate exercises to strengthen it.

Of course you can still do a total body workout – or atotal creativity workout – but it means your creativity-training exercises need to come from a wide variety of domains; not just thinking up uses for a pencil.

How to become an expert?

Make a Mastery Training Plan

Following our physical workout analogy, it’s worth applying the habits of great athletes to your chosen creative domain. For example:

1. Decide what area/s you want to work on

Much like a tennis player who decides they need to improve their serving technique, you can decide what area within your creative domain you want to improve at. Get specific.

2. Decide how much time you can dedicate

Most of us don’t have all day to train like a pro tennis player might, but you can likely squeeze 20 to 30 minutes in a day, if you want to. Whatever the time you can allow is, decide to dedicate yourself to it.

3. Review your progress

Finally, in order to check your progress, you can take regular reviews. Decide what your metrics are, and take time each week to check in with yourself.

How many days did you practice? How did you compare to the previous week? This kind of review can help you stay on track, and actually creates more intrinsic motivation as you see yourself develop.

5. Create a Conducive Environment

A psychologist in 1943 proposed that behaviour is:[2]

“a function of both the person as well as the physical environment they are in.”

I would suggest that the act of creating is a behaviour and that, even though it begins as an internal process, it’s very much affected by and even dependent on the environment we are in.

Advertising

I started noticing how environment affects me when I worked in an office. Over time, I realized that the more people who were in or who were talking, the more distracted I was. If I got to the office early before my coworkers arrived, I was twice as effective.

I was even more effective if I was at home. Now that I work from home, I know I’m even more effective when in certain coffee shops. Ideally, places that have high ceilings, gentle lighting, some barely noticeable background music – and excellent coffee.

It’s these little variations in our environment that can really shape our creative output.

If you’re an introvert, you probably do your best work alone. If you’re an extrovert, you probably do your best work in the company of others.

This isn’t to say you should find one way of doing things and stick to it: in fact, varying your environment from time to time is a great way to stoke the creative fire too, which we’ll touch on more later.

How to create a conducive environment?

Add or Subtract Stimuli

Novelty in our environment has been shown to stimulate the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that increases our desire to seek out reward.[3]

If you’re looking for creative motivation, adding some novelty into your environment can be just what you need.

On the other hand, some people are highly sensitive and when it comes to having too much stimulation in their environment, they find it difficult to focus.

Experiment with working in different environments. Note how you feel. Note whether you do better creative work or have more interesting ideas when you’re alone or with others.

Try listening to music, people chatting or try being in complete silence. Try a dimly lit room, try working in bright sunlight.

In each case, note how you feel before, during and afterwards and rate the quality of your work.

The Bottom Line

Creativity is not one particular skill or talent one can have. It comes in as many broad and unique flavors as there are people on this earth.

To be more creative, take little steps each day. Acknowledge where and when you feel most inspired, motivated and original and spend more energy in those areas.

More Articles About Creativity

Featured photo credit: Sticker Mule via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next