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Tired of not taking action? Give your brain a good workout!

Tired of not taking action? Give your brain a good workout!

With all of the excellent tips you can read on the web, I would bet that you could probably write your own blog article on how to get the body, relationship, or career you want.

 Drink lots of water. Praise more, scold less. Visualize. Don’t be afraid to ask. Practice gratitude.

And yet, you may still feel stuck in certain areas of your life. Why? Because you are not taking the actions you know you should take.

Maybe you vow that you will spend 10 minutes each morning meditating. When the time comes to actually sit down and close your eyes, however, you just don’t want to. You find a dozen other things that you just have to get done instead, like check one more email. Sound familiar?

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You can wrestle with “self-discipline” all you like, but the truth is that there are very real mental processes in your brain that keep you from taking action. So today, I am going to delve into (a simplified version of) what these processes are, and how to design more beneficial ones so that you can take action and have the life you want.

On one hand: Your voice of reason

One of the regions of your brain responsible for making rational decisions is the prefrontal cortex (PFC). The PFC is like your voice of reason. It is great at understanding the consequences of our actions, like “if I eat this cake tonight, I will feel terrible tomorrow.” If you gave the megaphone to your PFC, you would likely be closer to living your dream life by now.

On the other hand: The fear monger

But not so fast. There is another part of your brain that is the champion of fear and annoyance, called the amygdala. Whenever something comes up that scares or annoys you, the amygdala raises a raucous. It tells you “don’t ask that girl out, she will just reject you!” or “I don’t feel like getting out of bed!” If you gave the megaphone to your amygdala, you likely wouldn’t get as much done, but you sure would stay safe and sound.

Their relationship

The PFC decides when you should listen to the amygdala (“yes, back away from that rattlesnake.”) and when you shouldn’t (“no, get out of bed NOW.”). When it comes to our dreams, a strong PFC “calms down” the amygdala and makes sure that we take the right actions; a weak PFC does not, and the amygdala gets to call more of the shots.

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So the key to taking the right actions is to strengthen your PFC. Pretty simple and cool, huh?

How do you do that? Here are a few ways:

1. Label it.

Acknowledge what the amygdala is saying, like “I feel scared because…” This improves your objectivity about the situation, giving the PFC a helping hand, and it also doesn’t confront the amygdala in a way that will “aggravate” it further.

2. Dismantle fear in steps.

Maybe a certain action, like giving a presentation, scares you tremendously. Instead of jumping into the deep end by volunteering to speak at the next all-division meeting, which would trigger an all-out amygdalar upset, break the journey into steps. Start by speaking up more at group meetings. Then present to a small group. Bite off pieces that keep your amygdalar response small and manageable by the PFC.

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3. Don’t remember.

Stop using your mind to store To Dos, like “get eggs on your way home,” or “remember that tomorrow is Jen’s birthday.” They cloud your thinking, and will deprive your PFC of the energy and focus it needs to properly regulate the amygdala.

4. Exercise.

Yes, that magic cure-all. It’s been shown that attention and self-control increase after strenuous aerobic exercise.

5. Meditate.

Like #3, meditation clears excess chatter from your mind so your PFC can make decisions in peace and quiet. Granted, this is a bit of a Catch-22 if you are having a hard time “making yourself” meditate in the first place. But even a small step here can yield big dividends for your PFC.

If you want to be living your dream life, it’s time to make your PFC work up a sweat and assert its dominance over your amygdala. Just like any other part of our bodies, it really doesn’t have to be any more difficult than, say, working out our leg muscles to become a better runner. You just need to practice it to master it!

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What mental exercises will you take on to strengthen your PFC so that you can take action? Write me a note and share!

Featured photo credit: Brain Machine in Newcastle, Apr-2013/Mitch Altman via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 15, 2019

How to Be a Leader Who Is Inspiring and Influential

How to Be a Leader Who Is Inspiring and Influential

When I began managing people 15 years ago, I thought having a fancy title was synonymous with influence. Over time, I learned that power is conferred based on likeability, authenticity, courage, relationships and consistent behavior. When leaders cultivate these attributes, they earn power, which really means influence.

Understanding influence is essential to professional growth, and companies rise and fall based on the quality of their leadership.

In this article, we will look into the essentials of effective leadership and how to be a leader who is inspiring and influential.

What Makes a Leader Fail?

A host of factors influence a leader’s ability to succeed. To the extent that leaders fail to outline a compelling vision and strategy, they risk losing the trust and confidence of their teams. Employees want to know where a company is going and the strategy for how they will get there. Having this information enables employees to feel safe, and it allows them to see mistakes as part of the learning journey versus as fatal occurrences.

If employees and customers do not believe a company’s leadership is authentic and inspiring, they may disengage, or they may be less inclined to offer constructive criticism that can help a company innovate or help a leader improve.

And it is not just the leadership at the top that matters. Middle managers play a distinct role in guiding teams. Depending on the company’s size, employees may have more access to mid-level managers than they do members of the C-suite, meaning their supervisors and managers have greater influence on the employee and the customer experience.

What Is Effective Leadership?

Effective leadership is inspiring, and it is influential. Cultivating inspiring and influential leaders requires building relationships across the company.

Leaders must be connected to both the teams they lead as well as to their own colleagues and managers. This is key as titles do not make a person a leader, nor do they automatically confer influence. These are earned through trusting relationships. This explains why some leaders can get more out of their teams than others and why some leaders experience soaring profits and engagement while others sizzle out.

Eric Garton said in an April 25, 2017, Harvard Business Review article:[1]

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“… inspiring leaders are those who use their unique combination of strengths to motivate individuals and teams to take on bold missions – and hold them accountable for results. And they unlock higher performance through empowerment, not command and control.”

How to Be an Inspiring and Influential Leader

To be an inspiring and influential leader requires:

1. Courage

The late poet Maya Angelou once said,

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.”

Courage is required in the workplace when implementing new strategies, especially when they go against professional norms.

For instance, I heard Lisa TerKeurst, bestselling author and founder of Proverbs 31 Ministries, explain her decision to move away from her company’s magazine. While the organization had long had a magazine, she saw a future where it didn’t exist.

In order to make the switch, she risked angering her team members and customers. She took a chance, and what started out as a monthly newsletter, has grown into a multi-dimensional organization boasting half a million followers. Had Lisa not found the courage to change the direction of her organization, they undoubtedly would not have been able to experience such exponential growth.

It also takes courage to give and receive feedback. When leaders see employees who are not living into the company’s mission or who are engaging in behavior that may undermine their long-term success, one must risk temporary angst and speak candidly with the colleague in question.

Similarly, it takes courage to hear constructive criticism and try to change. In business, as in life, courage is necessary for being an inspiring and influential leader.

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2. A Commitment to Face Your Internal Demons.

If you feel great about yourself, enter a leadership position. You are likely to be triggered in ways you didn’t think possible. You are also likely to receive feedback that may leave you second-guessing yourself and your leadership skills.

The truth about leading others is that you get to a point where you realize that it is difficult to take people to places where you yourself haven’t gone.

To be an influential and inspiring leader, you have to face your own demons and vow to continually improve. Influential leaders take their personal evolution serious, and they invest in coaching, therapy and mindfulness to ensure that their personal struggles do not overshadow their professional development.

3. A Willingness to Accept Feedback

Inspiring and influential leaders are not afraid to accept feedback. In fact, they actively solicit it. They understand that everyone in their life has a lesson to teach them, and they are willing to accept it.

Inspirational leaders understand that feedback is neither good nor bad but rather an offering that is critical to growth. Even when it hurts or is an affront to the ego, influential leaders understand that feedback is critical to their ability to lead.

4. Likability

Some people will argue that leaders need not worry about being liked but should instead focus on being respected. I disagree. Both are important.

When team members like their boss and believe their boss likes them, they are more likely to go the extra mile to fulfill departmental or organizational goals. Likable leaders are moved to the front of the line when it comes to being influential.

Relatedly, when colleagues feel management dislikes them, they experience internal stress and can spend unnecessary time focusing on the source of their manager’s discontent versus the work they have been hired to do.

So, likability is important for both the leader and the people she leads.

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5. Vulnerability

Vulnerability is critical for being an inspiring leader. People want the truth. They admire leaders who can occasionally demonstrate vulnerability. It promotes deeper relationships and inspires trust.

When leaders can showcase vulnerability appropriately, they destroy the illusion that one must be perfect to be a leader. They also demonstrate that vulnerability is not a dirty word; they too can be vulnerable and ask for a helping hand when necessary.

6. Authenticity

Authenticity is about living up to one’s stated values in public and behind closed doors.

Influential leaders are authentic. They set to live out their values and use those values to guide their decisions. The interesting thing about leadership is that people are not looking for perfect leaders. They are, in part, looking for leaders who are authentic.

7. A True Understanding of Inspiration

Effective leaders are inspirational. They understand the power of words and deeds and use both strategically.

Inspiring leaders appropriately use stories and narratives to enable the teams around them to see common situations in an entirely new light.

Inspirational leaders also showcase grit and triumph while convincing the people around them that success and victory are attainable.

Finally, inspiring leaders encourage the teams they lead to tap into their own genius. They convince others that genius is not reserved for a select few but that most people have it in them.

As explained in the article True Leadership: What Separates a Leader from a Boss:

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“A leader creates visions and motivates team members to work together towards the same goal.”

8. An Ability to See the Humanity in Others

Inspiring and influential leaders see the humanity in others. Rather than treating their teams as mere tools to accomplish organizational goals, they believe the people around them are unique beings with inherent value.

This means knowing when to pause to address personal challenges and dispelling with the myth that the personal is separate from the professional.

9. A Passion for Continual Learning

Inspiring and influential leaders are committed to continual learning. They invest in their own development and take responsibility for their professional growth.

These leaders understand that like a college campus, the workplace is a laboratory for learning. They believe that they can learn from multiple generations in the workplace as well as from people from diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds.

Influential leaders proactively seek out opportunities for learning.

The Bottom Line

No one said leadership was easy, but it is also a joy. Influencing others to action and positively impacting the lives of others is a reward unto itself.

Since leadership abounds, there is an abundance of resources to help you grow into the type of leader who inspires and influences others.

More Resources About Effective Leadership

Featured photo credit: Markus Spiske via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Harvard Business Review: How to Be an Inspiring Leader

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