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How to Walk in Any Room with Confidence

How to Walk in Any Room with Confidence

Fake it ’til you make it. We often hear this advice, but how true is it really? According to social psychologist Amy Cuddy, very. “Your body language shapes who you are,” she said. In a recent TED talk, she showed the world how our posture affects testosterone and cortisol levels in our brains, which plays a part in determining how we feel about ourselves.

Standing tall, even when you don’t feel confident, projects confidence. Those who project confidence often receive more praise, promotions and other positive reactions than those who look meek or low.

1. Know your audience.

When dressing for the day, understand who you will be speaking to and create daily dressing ritual that includes the question: “Who am I speaking with today?” Headed to a board meeting? Dress conservatively, wearing clean lines and traditional business attire. Taking the boss to lunch? A more business casual outfit might be appropriate. When in doubt, go with a classic look that can fit all sorts of situations.

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2. Strike a pose.

A power pose can help you gain confidence before you head into that meeting or lunch. Find a private place, stand tall and open your arms up and above your head in a “V” shape. According to Cuddy, this can make you feel and act powerful. Imagine the thrust up arms of victory many athletes use after winning or completing a race.

Alternatively, when you are standing at the coffee maker and your boss walks in, striking the “Wonder Woman” pose with your hands on your hips and your chest broad, can also exude confidence. This pose makes you look bigger and keeps you from looking meek.

3. Reset your emotions.

This can be harder to say than do, but when you’re very nervous, try to reset your emotions. Take a private moment to breathe deeply and perhaps concentrate on the points you need to make rather than the nervousness you feel. If you go through your points deliberately, you’ll be able to reduce your nervousness and start your presentation off confidently.

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4. Accept nervousness.

Nervousness is there for a reason. Accept it. Your body gets nervous to sharpen your wits and prepare you for the battle ahead. Now, you may not be a caveman heading off to battle a wooly mammoth—or a bear, but you are heading into your own personal battle. Embrace the feeling. Understand that it’s there to help you and let it give you confidence.

5. Visualize the outcome.

What do you want to happen at the end of this meeting? Picture it. Vividly. Take a little time beforehand and go through the presentation. Have you ever watched a skiing event on TV? At the top of the hill, have you seen the skiers close their eyes and move their bodies or heads? They are visualizing the ski run. They go through each twist and turn before it happens. Do this with your presentation. See what you need to do before you do it and it will likely be successful.

6. Enter with pride.

Walk into the room, whether it’s a meeting or a lunch, with a smile on your face and your arms open for greeting. Avoid placing your hands in your pockets, which indicates low self-confidence or across your chest, indicating protectiveness. Shake hands, if it’s appropriate, and keep your stance open while giving your presentation.

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7. Gesticulate and animate.

Be an animated presenter. Use your arms and hands to express yourself. Point to important elements of your presentation and interact with members of the team.

 

Being confident and showing confidence are often two different things. You don’t have to be confident to look it. Look confident long enough and eventually, your confidence will grow. Or as Bob Dylan said, “Act the way you’d like to be and you’ll soon be the way you act.”

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Featured photo credit: DC Comics via media.dcentertainment.com

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Michelle Kennedy Hogan

Michelle is an explorer, editor, author of 15 books, and mom of eight.

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Last Updated on July 13, 2020

How Not to Feel Overwhelmed at Work & Take Control of Your Day

How Not to Feel Overwhelmed at Work & Take Control of Your Day

Overwhelm is a pernicious state largely caused by the ever-increasing demands on our time and the distractions that exist all around us. It creeps up on us and can, in its extreme form, leave us feeling anxious, stressed and exhausted.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed at work, here are 6 strategies you can follow that will reduce the feeling of overwhelm; leaving you calmer, in control and a lot less stressed.

1. Write Everything down to Offload Your Mind

The first thing you can do when you begin to feel overwhelmed is to write everything down that is on your mind.

Often people just write down all the things they think they have to do. This does help, but a more effective way to reduce overwhelm is to also write down everything that’s on your mind.

For example, you may have had an argument with your colleague or a loved one. If it’s on your mind write it down. A good way to do this is to draw a line down the middle of the page and title one section “things to do” and the other “what’s on my mind”.

The act of writing all this down and getting it out of your head will begin the process of removing your feeling of overwhelm. Writing things down can really change your life.

2. Decide How Long It Will Take to Complete Your To-Dos

Once you have ‘emptied your head,’ go through your list and estimate how long it will take to complete each to-do.

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As you go through your list, you will find quite a few to-dos will only take you five or ten minutes. Others will take longer, often up to several hours.

Do not worry about that at this stage. Just focus on estimating how long you will need to complete each task to the best of your ability. Here’s How to Cultivate a More Meaningful To Do List.

3. Take Advantage of Parkinson’s Law

Now here’s a little trick I learned a long time ago. Parkinson’s Law states that work will fill the time you have available to complete it, and us humans are terrible at estimating how long something will take:((Odhable: Genesis of Parkinson’s Law))

    This is why many people are always late. They think it will only take them thirty minutes to drive across town when previous experience has taught them it usually takes forty-five minutes to do so because traffic is often bad but they stick to the belief it will only take thirty minutes. It’s more wishful thinking than good judgment.

    We can use Parkinson’s Law to our advantage. If you have estimated that to write five emails that desperately need a reply to be ninety minutes, then reduce it down to one hour. Likewise, if you have estimated it will take you three hours to prepare your upcoming presentation, reduce it down to two hours.

    Reducing the time you estimate something will take gives you two advantages. The first is you get your work done quicker, obviously. The second is you put yourself under a little time pressure and in doing so you reduce the likelihood you will be distracted or allow yourself to procrastinate.

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    When we overestimate how long something will take, subconsciously our brains know we have plenty of time and so it plays tricks on us and we end up checking reviews of the Apple Watch 4 or allow our colleagues to interrupt us with the latest office gossip.

    Applying a little time pressure prevents this from happening and we get more focused and more work done.

    4. Use the Power of Your Calendar

    Once you have your time estimates done, open up your calendar and schedule your to-dos. Go through your to-dos and schedule time on your calendar for doing those tasks. Group tasks up into similar tasks.

    For emails that need attention on your to-do list, schedule time on your calendar to deal with all your emails at once. Likewise, if you have a report to write or a presentation to prepare, add these to your calendar using your estimated time as a guide for how long each will take.

    Seeing these items on your calendar eases your mind because you know you have allocated time to get them done and you no longer feel you have no time. Grouping similar tasks together keeps you in a focused state longer and it’s amazing how much work you get done when you do this.

    5. Make Decisions

    For those things you wrote down that are on your mind but are not tasks, make a decision about what you will do with each one. These things are on your mind because you have not made a decision about them.

    If you have an issue with a colleague, a friend or a loved one, take a little time to think about what would be the best way to resolve the problem. More often than not just talking with the person involved will clear the air and resolve the problem.

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    If it is a more serious issue, then decide how best to deal with it. Talk to your boss, a colleague and get advice.

    Whatever you do, do not allow it to fester. Ignoring the problem will not make it go away. You need to make a decision to deal with it and the sooner you do so the sooner the problem will be resolved. (You can take a look at this guide on How To Make Good Decisions All The Time.)

    I remember long ago, when I was in my early twenties and had gone mad with my newly acquired credit cards. I discovered I didn’t have the money to pay my monthly bills. I worried about it for days, got stressed and really didn’t know what to do. Eventually, I told a good friend of mine of the problem. He suggested I called the credit card company to explain my problem. The next day, I plucked up the courage to call the company, explained my problem and the wonderful person the other end listened and then suggested I paid a smaller amount for a couple of months.

    This one phone call took no more than ten minutes to make, yet it solved my problem and took away a lot of the stress I was feeling at the time. I learned two very valuable lessons from that experience:

    The first, don’t go mad with newly acquired credit cards! And the second, there’s always a solution to every problem if you just talk to the right person.

    6. Take Some Form of Action

    Because overwhelm is something that creeps up on us, once we feel overwhelmed (and stressed as the two often go together), the key is to take some form of action.

    The act of writing everything down that is bothering you and causing you to feel overwhelmed is a great place to start. Being able to see what it is that is bothering you in a list form, no matter how long that list is, eases the mind. You have externalized it.

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    It also means rather than these worries floating around in a jumbled mess inside your head, they are now visible and you can make decisions easier about what to do about them. Often it could be asking a colleague for a little help, or it could be you see you need to allocate some focused time to get the work done. The important thing is you make a decision on what to do next.

    Overwhelm is not always caused by a feeling of having a lack of time or too much work, it can also be caused by avoiding a decision about what to do next.

    The Bottom Line

    Make a decision, even if it is to just talk to someone about what to do next. Making a decision about how you will resolve something on its own will reduce your feelings of overwhelm and start you down the path to a resolution one way or another.

    When you follow these strategies to can say goodbye to your overwhelm and gain much more control over your day.

    More Tips for Reducing Work Stress

    Featured photo credit: Andrei Lazarev via unsplash.com

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