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8 Motivation Killers You Need To Be Aware Of Now

8 Motivation Killers You Need To Be Aware Of Now

Having motivation is great. It’s an external source of energy, will and makes doing what you love easy. But what if your motivation was being taken away without you even knowing? Wouldn’t you want to fix that leak, and prevent it from affecting you?

Here are some motivation killers of which you need to be aware.

1. Negative people

Negative people have one goal in mind – to bring you down. These are the people that cannot accept you, and consistently work to hurt, belittle or suck away your motivation. They rarely have anything to contribute, and putting someone down (or bringing them down to their level) is how they see contribution. Stay away from these leeches. They commonly hold envy for you and what you’re doing with your life. Regardless of your accomplishments or recent achievements, they will try to not only make you feel bad so they can feel better, but try and hurt you in the process. If any of these people are in your life, just remove them without hesitation. You deserve better.

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    2. Negative news

    We’re constantly around some sort of influence whether it comes from: T.V, friends, social media, newspapers, the internet and so on. This influence has the ability to affect you in two ways: It will either motivate you and leave you feeling more positive about yourself or it will suck away your energy and leave you feeling unmotivated. Now I’m going to guess you’d rather end up feeling more positive so you can use that energy to do what it is you love doing.

    Imagine for a day, if all the influence you had was positive and everyone was encouraging, how would you feel? You’d feel amazing, and be ready for anything that comes your way. Negative news on the other hand is going to slowly bring you down, eventually draining your energy and leaving you unmotivated. I recently went out for coffee with a friend of mine and all they did was complain. I hate this, I can’t stand this person, and most of all I hate it when people do this. Even though this person was talking about different things it was all related to negativity. And after an hour, I started feeling angry because of what I was constantly listening to. When I went home I did nothing – and just went to bed feeling unmotivated. It’s safe to say I won’t be seeing that person anymore.

    3. Fear of failure

    Failure is a huge motivation killer. We let failure define too much. Most of us look at failure in one way – that our effort means nothing and that we failed at what we did. This is a misconception. You didn’t fail at anything, you’re just looking at failure the wrong way. I’ve realized failure is a feedback system. It tells you what you did wrong, so you can have the opportunity to fix it, reflect, and grow for the next time. Failure is a wonderful tool to help you learn.

    Last week I got in a fight with a loved one, and after our argument I felt I failed. I was down, and motivation was at an all time low. So I took some time and looked over what had happened, and I tried not to personalize our fight so much, and look for the lesson from this failure. It taught me to be more open, and try to understand the situation that they are coming from, and their perspective of the situation. Once I did that, I apologized and we worked it out. If it hadn’t been for failure, I would’ve never apologized and made our relationship stronger.

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      4. Inaction

      You have dreams, aspirations or goals. But they don’t become reality if you don’t do one thing – take action. And all this requires is a simple fix from you. Just take action, anything will do, no matter how small or big. Just take it. When I was trying to register my website I spent weeks looking for the right name. And I finally found one, and it was available! Instead of spending the 10-15 minutes to register it right away, I put it on the back burner and started doing other things. A month later, I went to register it and the name was taken. I felt upset and unmotivated to continue with the website because what I thought of was taken. The bottom line is this: don’t overthink it, and just do it.

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        5. Don’t overdo it

        Don’t burn yourself out. This might sound contrary to the point above, but remember you’re not a robot. Being productive is great, but there are times when you just need to stop, and take a break. Taking a break has been proven to: reduce stress, increase productivity, give you a brand new perspective, and relax you. Last month I wrote a total of over 1000 words each day. It was an amazing feeling, but each day felt heavier on me. By the end of the month I was completely done. I couldn’t write anymore; It was the worst feeling ever. I took a whole week off from writing and just decided to take it slow.  Burning yourself out is only going make you tired, kill your motivation and stop your momentum.

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        6. Forget the past.

        It’s in the past. It’s not here, right now. So move on. Simple advice, but it’s really to implement hard. I’ve found focusing on your breath works very well. Get in the habit of being conscious of your breathing: focus on your inhale, your exhale and the pause in-between. I always bring up past issues into my life, even though they serve no purpose and are always negative. These negative feelings don’t help me out with anything, and just reference a time in my life which I wasn’t happy about. There are times when I fully involve myself in my past, and I forget everything around me.

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          7. Stop living in the future.

          I used to always micro manage every single detail of my future. I would expend my energy, motivation and thinking to a time that never existed. And there was only one thing certain of my future: It never turned out exactly as I planned it. So, similar to the past, there is no future. There’s no certainty of anything. Focusing on how you want your future to be is nonsense. There’s only one way to create your future – by doing the work that needs to be done, right now.

          8. Don’t forget about yourself.

          We live in a face paced world. So are some responsibilities you have to take care of. But remember that you are the priority. You have a choice to do what it is you want. Find time for yourself, and make your schedule work for you, don’t work for your schedule!  I learned this lesson the hard way. A year ago I spent nearly two weeks helping a friend in a tough situation. I helped him move out, helped him with finances, talk to him. I was constantly around him helping him out. A month later he got a new girlfriend, and he completely forgot about me. We stopped spending time together, and my relationship with myself was gone. I spent so much time focusing on his life, that I forgot about mine. Don’t forget to ask yourself first. You always have the power to say no.

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          What are some of the ways that you’ve felt killed your motivation? And how did you deal with it? Let me know in the comments.

          Featured photo credit: …you guys go on…/Graham Reznick via flickr.com

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          Last Updated on March 25, 2020

          How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

          How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

          Habits are hard to kill, and rightly so. They are a part and parcel of your personality traits and mold your character.

          However, habits are not always something over-the-top and quirky enough to get noticed. Think of subtle habits like tapping fingers when you are nervous and humming songs while you drive. These are nothing but ingrained habits that you may not realize easily.

          Just take a few minutes and think of something specific that you do all the time. You will notice how it has become a habit for you without any explicit realization. Everything you do on a daily basis starting with your morning routine, lunch preferences to exercise routines are all habits.

          Habits mostly form from life experiences and certain observed behaviors, not all of them are healthy. Habitual smoking can be dangerous to your health. Similarly, a habit could also make you lose out on enjoying something to its best – like how some people just cannot stop swaying their bodies when delivering a speech.

          Thus, there could be a few habits that you would want to change about yourself. But changing habits is not as easy as it seems.

          In this article, you will learn why it isn’t easy to build new habits, and how to change habits.

          What Makes It Hard To Change A Habit?

          To want to change a particular habit means to change something very fundamental about your behavior.[1] Hence, it’s necessary to understand how habits actually form and why they are so difficult to actually get out of.

          The Biology

          Habits form in a place what we call the subconscious mind in our brain.[2]

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          Our brains have two modes of operation. The first one is an automatic pilot kind of system that is fast and works on reflexes often. It is what we call the subconscious part. This is the part that is associated with everything that comes naturally to you.

          The second mode is the conscious mode where every action and decision is well thought out and follows a controlled way of thinking.

          A fine example to distinguish both would be to consider yourself learning to drive or play an instrument. For the first time you try learning, you think before every movement you make. But once you have got the hang of it, you might drive without applying much thought into it.

          Both systems work together in our brains at all times. When a habit is formed, it moves from the conscious part to the subconscious making it difficult to control.

          So, the key idea in deconstructing a habit is to go from the subconscious to the conscious.

          Another thing you have to understand about habits is that they can be conscious or hidden.

          Conscious habits are those that require active input from your side. For instance, if you stop setting your alarm in the morning, you will stop waking up at the same time.

          Hidden habits, on the other hand, are habits that we do without realizing. These make up the majority of our habits and we wouldn’t even know them until someone pointed them out. So the first difficulty in breaking these habits is to actually identify them. As they are internalized, they need a lot of attention to detail for self-identification. That’s not all.

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          Habits can be physical, social, and mental, energy-based and even be particular to productivity. Understanding them is necessary to know why they are difficult to break and what can be done about them.

          The Psychology

          Habits get engraved into our memories depending on the way we think, feel and act over a particular period of time. The procedural part of memory deals with habit formation and studies have observed that various types of conditioning of behavior could affect your habit formations.

          Classical conditioning or pavlovian conditioning is when you start associating a memory with reality.[3] A dog that associates ringing bell to food will start salivating. The same external stimuli such as the sound of church bells can make a person want to pray.

          Operant conditioning is when experience and the feelings associated with it form a habit.[4] By encouraging or discouraging an act, individuals could either make it a habit or stop doing it.

          Observational learning is another way habits could take form. A child may start walking the same way their parent does.

          What Can You Do To Change a Habit?

          Sure, habits are hard to control but it is not impossible. With a few tips and hard-driven dedication, you can surely get over your nasty habits.

          Here are some ways that make use of psychological findings to help you:

          1. Identify Your Habits

          As mentioned earlier, habits can be quite subtle and hidden from your view. You have to bring your subconscious habits to an aware state of mind. You could do it by self-observation or by asking your friends or family to point out the habit for your sake.

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          2. Find out the Impact of Your Habit

          Every habit produces an effect – either physical or mental. Find out what exactly it is doing to you. Does it help you relieve stress or does it give you some pain relief?

          It could be anything simple. Sometimes biting your nails could be calming your nerves. Understanding the effect of a habit is necessary to control it.

          3. Apply Logic

          You don’t need to be force-fed with wisdom and advice to know what an unhealthy habit could do to you.

          Late-night binge-watching just before an important presentation is not going to help you. Take a moment and apply your own wisdom and logic to control your seemingly nastily habits.

          4. Choose an Alternative

          As I said, every habit induces some feeling. So, it could be quite difficult to get over it unless you find something else that can replace it. It can be a simple non-harming new habit that you can cultivate to get over a bad habit.

          Say you have the habit of banging your head hard when you are angry. That’s going to be bad for you. Instead, the next time you are angry, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Or maybe start imagining yourself on a luxury yacht. Just think of something that will work for you.

          5. Remove Triggers

          Get rid of items and situations that can trigger your bad habit.

          Stay away from smoke breaks if you are trying to quit it. Remove all those candy bars from the fridge if you want to control your sweet cravings.

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          6. Visualize Change

          Our brains can be trained to forget a habit if we start visualizing the change. Serious visualization is retained and helps as a motivator in breaking the habit loop.

          For instance, to replace your habit of waking up late, visualize yourself waking up early and enjoying the early morning jog every day. By continuing this, you would naturally feel better to wake up early and do your new hobby.

          7. Avoid Negative Talks and Thinking

          Just as how our brain is trained to accept a change in habit, continuous negative talk and thinking could hamper your efforts put into breaking a habit.

          Believe you can get out of it and assert yourself the same.

          Final Thoughts

          Changing habits isn’t easy, so do not expect an overnight change!

          Habits took a long time to form. It could take a while to completely break out of it. You will have to accept that sometimes you may falter in your efforts. Don’t let negativity seep in when it seems hard. Keep going at it slowly and steadily.

          More About Changing Habits

          Featured photo credit: Mel via unsplash.com

          Reference

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