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8 Motivation Killers You Need To Be Aware Of Now

8 Motivation Killers You Need To Be Aware Of Now

Having motivation is great. It’s an external source of energy, will and makes doing what you love easy. But what if your motivation was being taken away without you even knowing? Wouldn’t you want to fix that leak, and prevent it from affecting you?

Here are some motivation killers of which you need to be aware.

1. Negative people

Negative people have one goal in mind – to bring you down. These are the people that cannot accept you, and consistently work to hurt, belittle or suck away your motivation. They rarely have anything to contribute, and putting someone down (or bringing them down to their level) is how they see contribution. Stay away from these leeches. They commonly hold envy for you and what you’re doing with your life. Regardless of your accomplishments or recent achievements, they will try to not only make you feel bad so they can feel better, but try and hurt you in the process. If any of these people are in your life, just remove them without hesitation. You deserve better.

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    2. Negative news

    We’re constantly around some sort of influence whether it comes from: T.V, friends, social media, newspapers, the internet and so on. This influence has the ability to affect you in two ways: It will either motivate you and leave you feeling more positive about yourself or it will suck away your energy and leave you feeling unmotivated. Now I’m going to guess you’d rather end up feeling more positive so you can use that energy to do what it is you love doing.

    Imagine for a day, if all the influence you had was positive and everyone was encouraging, how would you feel? You’d feel amazing, and be ready for anything that comes your way. Negative news on the other hand is going to slowly bring you down, eventually draining your energy and leaving you unmotivated. I recently went out for coffee with a friend of mine and all they did was complain. I hate this, I can’t stand this person, and most of all I hate it when people do this. Even though this person was talking about different things it was all related to negativity. And after an hour, I started feeling angry because of what I was constantly listening to. When I went home I did nothing – and just went to bed feeling unmotivated. It’s safe to say I won’t be seeing that person anymore.

    3. Fear of failure

    Failure is a huge motivation killer. We let failure define too much. Most of us look at failure in one way – that our effort means nothing and that we failed at what we did. This is a misconception. You didn’t fail at anything, you’re just looking at failure the wrong way. I’ve realized failure is a feedback system. It tells you what you did wrong, so you can have the opportunity to fix it, reflect, and grow for the next time. Failure is a wonderful tool to help you learn.

    Last week I got in a fight with a loved one, and after our argument I felt I failed. I was down, and motivation was at an all time low. So I took some time and looked over what had happened, and I tried not to personalize our fight so much, and look for the lesson from this failure. It taught me to be more open, and try to understand the situation that they are coming from, and their perspective of the situation. Once I did that, I apologized and we worked it out. If it hadn’t been for failure, I would’ve never apologized and made our relationship stronger.

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      4. Inaction

      You have dreams, aspirations or goals. But they don’t become reality if you don’t do one thing – take action. And all this requires is a simple fix from you. Just take action, anything will do, no matter how small or big. Just take it. When I was trying to register my website I spent weeks looking for the right name. And I finally found one, and it was available! Instead of spending the 10-15 minutes to register it right away, I put it on the back burner and started doing other things. A month later, I went to register it and the name was taken. I felt upset and unmotivated to continue with the website because what I thought of was taken. The bottom line is this: don’t overthink it, and just do it.

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        5. Don’t overdo it

        Don’t burn yourself out. This might sound contrary to the point above, but remember you’re not a robot. Being productive is great, but there are times when you just need to stop, and take a break. Taking a break has been proven to: reduce stress, increase productivity, give you a brand new perspective, and relax you. Last month I wrote a total of over 1000 words each day. It was an amazing feeling, but each day felt heavier on me. By the end of the month I was completely done. I couldn’t write anymore; It was the worst feeling ever. I took a whole week off from writing and just decided to take it slow.  Burning yourself out is only going make you tired, kill your motivation and stop your momentum.

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        6. Forget the past.

        It’s in the past. It’s not here, right now. So move on. Simple advice, but it’s really to implement hard. I’ve found focusing on your breath works very well. Get in the habit of being conscious of your breathing: focus on your inhale, your exhale and the pause in-between. I always bring up past issues into my life, even though they serve no purpose and are always negative. These negative feelings don’t help me out with anything, and just reference a time in my life which I wasn’t happy about. There are times when I fully involve myself in my past, and I forget everything around me.

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          7. Stop living in the future.

          I used to always micro manage every single detail of my future. I would expend my energy, motivation and thinking to a time that never existed. And there was only one thing certain of my future: It never turned out exactly as I planned it. So, similar to the past, there is no future. There’s no certainty of anything. Focusing on how you want your future to be is nonsense. There’s only one way to create your future – by doing the work that needs to be done, right now.

          8. Don’t forget about yourself.

          We live in a face paced world. So are some responsibilities you have to take care of. But remember that you are the priority. You have a choice to do what it is you want. Find time for yourself, and make your schedule work for you, don’t work for your schedule!  I learned this lesson the hard way. A year ago I spent nearly two weeks helping a friend in a tough situation. I helped him move out, helped him with finances, talk to him. I was constantly around him helping him out. A month later he got a new girlfriend, and he completely forgot about me. We stopped spending time together, and my relationship with myself was gone. I spent so much time focusing on his life, that I forgot about mine. Don’t forget to ask yourself first. You always have the power to say no.

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          What are some of the ways that you’ve felt killed your motivation? And how did you deal with it? Let me know in the comments.

          Featured photo credit: …you guys go on…/Graham Reznick via flickr.com

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          Last Updated on July 23, 2019

          5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life

          5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life

          In the journey of growth, there are times when we grow and excel. We are endlessly driven and hyped up, motivated to get our goals.

          Then there are times when we stagnate. We feel uninspired and unmotivated. We keep procrastinating on our plans. More often than not, we get out of a rut, only to get back into another one.

          How do you know if you are stagnating? Here are some tell-tale signs:

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          • If you have been experiencing chronic procrastination on your goals
          • If you don’t ever feel like doing anything
          • If you keep turning to sleep, eating, games, mindless activities and entertainment for comfort
          • If you know you should be doing something, but yet you keep avoiding it
          • If you have not achieved anything new or significant now relative to 1 month, 2 months or 3 months ago
          • If you have a deep sense of feeling that you are living under your potential

          When we face stagnation in life, it’s a sign of deeper issues. Stagnation, just like procrastination, is a symptom of a problem. It’s easy to beat ourselves over it, but this approach is not going to help. Here, I will share 5 steps to help you move out of this stagnation. They won’t magically transform your life in 1 night (such changes are never permanent because the foundations are not built), but they will help you get the momentum going and help you get back on track.

          1. Realize You’re Not Alone

          Everyone stagnates at some point or another. You are not alone in this and more importantly, it’s normal. In fact, it’s amazing how many of my clients actually face the same predicament, even though all of them come from different walks of life, are of different ages, and have never crossed paths. Realizing you are not alone in this will make it much easier to deal with this period. By trying to “fight it”, you’re only fighting yourself. Accept this situation, acknowledge it, and tell yourself it’s okay. That way, you can then focus on the constructive steps that will really help you.

          2. Find What Inspires You

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          Stagnation comes because there isn’t anything that excites you enough to take action. If you don’t have a habit of setting goals, and instead just leave yourself to daily mundanes, it’s not surprising you are experiencing stagnation. What do you want to do if there are no limitations? If you can have whatever you want, what will it be? The answers to these questions will provide the fuel that will drive you forward.

          On the other hand, even if you are an experienced goal setter, there are times when the goals you set in the past lose their appeal now. It’s normal and it happens to me too. Sometimes we lose touch with our goals, since we are in a different emotional state compared to when we first set them. Sometimes our priorities change and we no longer want to work on those goals anymore. However, we don’t consciously realize this, and what happens is we procrastinate on our goals until it compounds into a serious problem. If that’s the case for you, it’s time to relook into your goals. There’s no point in pursuing goals that no longer inspire you. Trash away your old goals (or just put them aside) and ask yourself what you really want now. Then go for them.

          3. Give Yourself a Break

          When’s the last time you took a real break for yourself? 3 months? 6 months? 1 year? Never? Perhaps it’s time to take a time-out. Prolonged working can cause someone to become disillusioned as they lose sight of who they are and what they want.

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          Go take some extended leave from work. A few days at bare minimum; a few weeks or months will be great. Some of my ex-colleagues have quit their jobs and took months out to do some self-reflection. Of course, some of us might not have that luxury, so we can stick to a few weeks of leave. Go on a trip elsewhere and get away from your work and your life. Use this chance to get a renewed perspective of life. Think about your life purpose, what you want and what you want to create for your life in the future. These are big questions that require deep thinking over them. It’s not about finding the answers at one go, but about taking the first step to finding the answers.

          4. Shake up Your Routines

          Being in the same environment, doing the same things over and over again and meeting the same people can make us stagnant. This is especially if the people you spend the most time with are stagnant themselves.

          Change things around. Start with simple things, like taking a different route to work and eating something different for breakfast. Have your lunch with different colleagues, colleagues you never talked much with. Work in a different cubicle if your work has free and easy seating. Do something different than your usual for weekday evenings and weekends. Cultivate different habits, like exercising every day, listening to a new series of podcasts every morning to work, reading a book, etc (here’s 6 Proven Ways To Make New Habits Stick). The different contexts will give you different stimulus, which will trigger off different thoughts and actions in you.

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          When I’m in a state of stagnancy, I’ll get a sense of what’s making me stagnate. Sometimes it’s the environment I’m in, sometimes it’s the people I’ve been hanging out with, sometimes it’s my lifestyle. Most of the times it’s a combination of all these. Changing them up helps to stir myself out of the stagnant mode.

          5. Start with a Small Step

          Stagnation also comes from being frozen in fear. Maybe you do want this certain goal, but you aren’t taking action. Are you overwhelmed by the amount of work needed? Are you afraid you will make mistakes? Is the perfectionist in you taking over and paralyzing you?

          Let go of the belief that it has to be perfect. Such a belief is a bane, not a boon. It’s precisely from being open to mistakes and errors that you move forward. Break down what’s before you into very very small steps, then take those small steps, a little step at a time. I had a client who had been stagnating for a long period because he was afraid of failing. He didn’t want to make another move where he would make a mistake. However, not wanting to make a mistake has led him to do absolutely nothing for 2-3 years. On the other hand, by doing just something, you would already be making progress, whether it’s a mistake or not. Even if you make a supposed “mistake”,  you get feedback to do things differently in the next step. That’s something you would never have known if you never made a move.

          More to Help You Stay Motivated

          Here are some resources that will help you break out of your current phase:

          Featured photo credit: Anubhav Saxena via unsplash.com

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