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8 Motivation Killers You Need To Be Aware Of Now

8 Motivation Killers You Need To Be Aware Of Now

Having motivation is great. It’s an external source of energy, will and makes doing what you love easy. But what if your motivation was being taken away without you even knowing? Wouldn’t you want to fix that leak, and prevent it from affecting you?

Here are some motivation killers of which you need to be aware.

1. Negative people

Negative people have one goal in mind – to bring you down. These are the people that cannot accept you, and consistently work to hurt, belittle or suck away your motivation. They rarely have anything to contribute, and putting someone down (or bringing them down to their level) is how they see contribution. Stay away from these leeches. They commonly hold envy for you and what you’re doing with your life. Regardless of your accomplishments or recent achievements, they will try to not only make you feel bad so they can feel better, but try and hurt you in the process. If any of these people are in your life, just remove them without hesitation. You deserve better.

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    2. Negative news

    We’re constantly around some sort of influence whether it comes from: T.V, friends, social media, newspapers, the internet and so on. This influence has the ability to affect you in two ways: It will either motivate you and leave you feeling more positive about yourself or it will suck away your energy and leave you feeling unmotivated. Now I’m going to guess you’d rather end up feeling more positive so you can use that energy to do what it is you love doing.

    Imagine for a day, if all the influence you had was positive and everyone was encouraging, how would you feel? You’d feel amazing, and be ready for anything that comes your way. Negative news on the other hand is going to slowly bring you down, eventually draining your energy and leaving you unmotivated. I recently went out for coffee with a friend of mine and all they did was complain. I hate this, I can’t stand this person, and most of all I hate it when people do this. Even though this person was talking about different things it was all related to negativity. And after an hour, I started feeling angry because of what I was constantly listening to. When I went home I did nothing – and just went to bed feeling unmotivated. It’s safe to say I won’t be seeing that person anymore.

    3. Fear of failure

    Failure is a huge motivation killer. We let failure define too much. Most of us look at failure in one way – that our effort means nothing and that we failed at what we did. This is a misconception. You didn’t fail at anything, you’re just looking at failure the wrong way. I’ve realized failure is a feedback system. It tells you what you did wrong, so you can have the opportunity to fix it, reflect, and grow for the next time. Failure is a wonderful tool to help you learn.

    Last week I got in a fight with a loved one, and after our argument I felt I failed. I was down, and motivation was at an all time low. So I took some time and looked over what had happened, and I tried not to personalize our fight so much, and look for the lesson from this failure. It taught me to be more open, and try to understand the situation that they are coming from, and their perspective of the situation. Once I did that, I apologized and we worked it out. If it hadn’t been for failure, I would’ve never apologized and made our relationship stronger.

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      4. Inaction

      You have dreams, aspirations or goals. But they don’t become reality if you don’t do one thing – take action. And all this requires is a simple fix from you. Just take action, anything will do, no matter how small or big. Just take it. When I was trying to register my website I spent weeks looking for the right name. And I finally found one, and it was available! Instead of spending the 10-15 minutes to register it right away, I put it on the back burner and started doing other things. A month later, I went to register it and the name was taken. I felt upset and unmotivated to continue with the website because what I thought of was taken. The bottom line is this: don’t overthink it, and just do it.

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        5. Don’t overdo it

        Don’t burn yourself out. This might sound contrary to the point above, but remember you’re not a robot. Being productive is great, but there are times when you just need to stop, and take a break. Taking a break has been proven to: reduce stress, increase productivity, give you a brand new perspective, and relax you. Last month I wrote a total of over 1000 words each day. It was an amazing feeling, but each day felt heavier on me. By the end of the month I was completely done. I couldn’t write anymore; It was the worst feeling ever. I took a whole week off from writing and just decided to take it slow.  Burning yourself out is only going make you tired, kill your motivation and stop your momentum.

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        6. Forget the past.

        It’s in the past. It’s not here, right now. So move on. Simple advice, but it’s really to implement hard. I’ve found focusing on your breath works very well. Get in the habit of being conscious of your breathing: focus on your inhale, your exhale and the pause in-between. I always bring up past issues into my life, even though they serve no purpose and are always negative. These negative feelings don’t help me out with anything, and just reference a time in my life which I wasn’t happy about. There are times when I fully involve myself in my past, and I forget everything around me.

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          7. Stop living in the future.

          I used to always micro manage every single detail of my future. I would expend my energy, motivation and thinking to a time that never existed. And there was only one thing certain of my future: It never turned out exactly as I planned it. So, similar to the past, there is no future. There’s no certainty of anything. Focusing on how you want your future to be is nonsense. There’s only one way to create your future – by doing the work that needs to be done, right now.

          8. Don’t forget about yourself.

          We live in a face paced world. So are some responsibilities you have to take care of. But remember that you are the priority. You have a choice to do what it is you want. Find time for yourself, and make your schedule work for you, don’t work for your schedule!  I learned this lesson the hard way. A year ago I spent nearly two weeks helping a friend in a tough situation. I helped him move out, helped him with finances, talk to him. I was constantly around him helping him out. A month later he got a new girlfriend, and he completely forgot about me. We stopped spending time together, and my relationship with myself was gone. I spent so much time focusing on his life, that I forgot about mine. Don’t forget to ask yourself first. You always have the power to say no.

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          What are some of the ways that you’ve felt killed your motivation? And how did you deal with it? Let me know in the comments.

          Featured photo credit: …you guys go on…/Graham Reznick via flickr.com

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          Last Updated on March 15, 2019

          How to Be a Leader Who Is Inspiring and Influential

          How to Be a Leader Who Is Inspiring and Influential

          When I began managing people 15 years ago, I thought having a fancy title was synonymous with influence. Over time, I learned that power is conferred based on likeability, authenticity, courage, relationships and consistent behavior. When leaders cultivate these attributes, they earn power, which really means influence.

          Understanding influence is essential to professional growth, and companies rise and fall based on the quality of their leadership.

          In this article, we will look into the essentials of effective leadership and how to be a leader who is inspiring and influential.

          What Makes a Leader Fail?

          A host of factors influence a leader’s ability to succeed. To the extent that leaders fail to outline a compelling vision and strategy, they risk losing the trust and confidence of their teams. Employees want to know where a company is going and the strategy for how they will get there. Having this information enables employees to feel safe, and it allows them to see mistakes as part of the learning journey versus as fatal occurrences.

          If employees and customers do not believe a company’s leadership is authentic and inspiring, they may disengage, or they may be less inclined to offer constructive criticism that can help a company innovate or help a leader improve.

          And it is not just the leadership at the top that matters. Middle managers play a distinct role in guiding teams. Depending on the company’s size, employees may have more access to mid-level managers than they do members of the C-suite, meaning their supervisors and managers have greater influence on the employee and the customer experience.

          What Is Effective Leadership?

          Effective leadership is inspiring, and it is influential. Cultivating inspiring and influential leaders requires building relationships across the company.

          Leaders must be connected to both the teams they lead as well as to their own colleagues and managers. This is key as titles do not make a person a leader, nor do they automatically confer influence. These are earned through trusting relationships. This explains why some leaders can get more out of their teams than others and why some leaders experience soaring profits and engagement while others sizzle out.

          Eric Garton said in an April 25, 2017, Harvard Business Review article:[1]

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          “… inspiring leaders are those who use their unique combination of strengths to motivate individuals and teams to take on bold missions – and hold them accountable for results. And they unlock higher performance through empowerment, not command and control.”

          How to Be an Inspiring and Influential Leader

          To be an inspiring and influential leader requires:

          1. Courage

          The late poet Maya Angelou once said,

          “Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.”

          Courage is required in the workplace when implementing new strategies, especially when they go against professional norms.

          For instance, I heard Lisa TerKeurst, bestselling author and founder of Proverbs 31 Ministries, explain her decision to move away from her company’s magazine. While the organization had long had a magazine, she saw a future where it didn’t exist.

          In order to make the switch, she risked angering her team members and customers. She took a chance, and what started out as a monthly newsletter, has grown into a multi-dimensional organization boasting half a million followers. Had Lisa not found the courage to change the direction of her organization, they undoubtedly would not have been able to experience such exponential growth.

          It also takes courage to give and receive feedback. When leaders see employees who are not living into the company’s mission or who are engaging in behavior that may undermine their long-term success, one must risk temporary angst and speak candidly with the colleague in question.

          Similarly, it takes courage to hear constructive criticism and try to change. In business, as in life, courage is necessary for being an inspiring and influential leader.

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          2. A Commitment to Face Your Internal Demons.

          If you feel great about yourself, enter a leadership position. You are likely to be triggered in ways you didn’t think possible. You are also likely to receive feedback that may leave you second-guessing yourself and your leadership skills.

          The truth about leading others is that you get to a point where you realize that it is difficult to take people to places where you yourself haven’t gone.

          To be an influential and inspiring leader, you have to face your own demons and vow to continually improve. Influential leaders take their personal evolution serious, and they invest in coaching, therapy and mindfulness to ensure that their personal struggles do not overshadow their professional development.

          3. A Willingness to Accept Feedback

          Inspiring and influential leaders are not afraid to accept feedback. In fact, they actively solicit it. They understand that everyone in their life has a lesson to teach them, and they are willing to accept it.

          Inspirational leaders understand that feedback is neither good nor bad but rather an offering that is critical to growth. Even when it hurts or is an affront to the ego, influential leaders understand that feedback is critical to their ability to lead.

          4. Likability

          Some people will argue that leaders need not worry about being liked but should instead focus on being respected. I disagree. Both are important.

          When team members like their boss and believe their boss likes them, they are more likely to go the extra mile to fulfill departmental or organizational goals. Likable leaders are moved to the front of the line when it comes to being influential.

          Relatedly, when colleagues feel management dislikes them, they experience internal stress and can spend unnecessary time focusing on the source of their manager’s discontent versus the work they have been hired to do.

          So, likability is important for both the leader and the people she leads.

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          5. Vulnerability

          Vulnerability is critical for being an inspiring leader. People want the truth. They admire leaders who can occasionally demonstrate vulnerability. It promotes deeper relationships and inspires trust.

          When leaders can showcase vulnerability appropriately, they destroy the illusion that one must be perfect to be a leader. They also demonstrate that vulnerability is not a dirty word; they too can be vulnerable and ask for a helping hand when necessary.

          6. Authenticity

          Authenticity is about living up to one’s stated values in public and behind closed doors.

          Influential leaders are authentic. They set to live out their values and use those values to guide their decisions. The interesting thing about leadership is that people are not looking for perfect leaders. They are, in part, looking for leaders who are authentic.

          7. A True Understanding of Inspiration

          Effective leaders are inspirational. They understand the power of words and deeds and use both strategically.

          Inspiring leaders appropriately use stories and narratives to enable the teams around them to see common situations in an entirely new light.

          Inspirational leaders also showcase grit and triumph while convincing the people around them that success and victory are attainable.

          Finally, inspiring leaders encourage the teams they lead to tap into their own genius. They convince others that genius is not reserved for a select few but that most people have it in them.

          As explained in the article True Leadership: What Separates a Leader from a Boss:

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          “A leader creates visions and motivates team members to work together towards the same goal.”

          8. An Ability to See the Humanity in Others

          Inspiring and influential leaders see the humanity in others. Rather than treating their teams as mere tools to accomplish organizational goals, they believe the people around them are unique beings with inherent value.

          This means knowing when to pause to address personal challenges and dispelling with the myth that the personal is separate from the professional.

          9. A Passion for Continual Learning

          Inspiring and influential leaders are committed to continual learning. They invest in their own development and take responsibility for their professional growth.

          These leaders understand that like a college campus, the workplace is a laboratory for learning. They believe that they can learn from multiple generations in the workplace as well as from people from diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds.

          Influential leaders proactively seek out opportunities for learning.

          The Bottom Line

          No one said leadership was easy, but it is also a joy. Influencing others to action and positively impacting the lives of others is a reward unto itself.

          Since leadership abounds, there is an abundance of resources to help you grow into the type of leader who inspires and influences others.

          More Resources About Effective Leadership

          Featured photo credit: Markus Spiske via unsplash.com

          Reference

          [1] Harvard Business Review: How to Be an Inspiring Leader

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