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7 Thoughts to Kill If You Want to Be Successful

7 Thoughts to Kill If You Want to Be Successful

OK! So you aren’t a bold visionary like Buffett or Branson, but that doesn’t mean you can’t aim to be successful. For every individual out there, success is defined differently: some people crave glory, power and money; others simply crave friendships, connections, and romance; and for some, success may be doing mundane chores of their house.

Just because you aren’t a big shot among your peers, doesn’t mean you can’t aim to be one. You will see plenty of tips and techniques that will take you down the road of success; however, you will not be able to travel on that road unless you believe in success for yourself. To be successful you need to avoid all those negative thoughts that are killing your drive. All such thoughts are generated by negative memories of previous failures, disappointment, humiliation, embarrassment and so on that remain alive and well in your unconscious mind.

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To believe in success for yourself, you need to let go of these deadly thoughts.

1. “I have not been provided with plenty of opportunities.”

It’s a cruel selfish world out there, and you aren’t given opportunities. But here’s the deal: wake up! Opportunities are meant to be taken NOT given. You don’t need to wait for someone to give you an opportunity; you have to step out and take opportunities. The only thing that is holding you back is yourself. There are several tools, like social media, that will connect you directly with people to whom you can pitch in your ideas.

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2. “I would pay the price if I knew it would be worth it.”

Success is earned; you do not set the reward prior to hard work. It will blur your motivation, and dampen your determination. All successful people have earned their success; they have worked at it and pursued it regardless of the pay-offs they will get. This is the reason that hard working successful people are getting more pay and frequent promotions.

3. “I am always held back by other people.”

Other people have gotten away with the opportunity you deserved; your parents don’t want you going into a certain field; your co-worker wasn’t as invested in the pitch as you. You have had little or no success because people have a habit of screwing you over. But here’s the thing: you can’t control other people and their actions; you can only control yourself and the way you think. Own up to mistakes that may have been caused by other people, and learn from them. Successful people are successful because they have learned from their mistakes.

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4. “I don’t have the time.”

If you don’t have the time, make time for your efforts. Do your tasks quickly and efficiently. For success, remember that time is money; you should be in control of time rather than time taking control of you.

5. “I am neither especially clever nor especially gifted”

Thinking among these lines will give you self esteem issues. Don’t compare yourself to others; they will possess talents you have, but you will also possess talents that they don’t have. You should, however, be determined to learn new skills, and believe in being persistent.

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6. “I am going to fail. Why bother?”

Already proclaiming yourself a failure will kill your motivation and leave no room for the hard work. You should instead be your own motivation that fuels your drive for success.

7. “I am a genius.”

There is a thin line between being confident and over-confident. If you think you are a game changer, and people are to bow down in front of your magnificence, it’s time to give yourself a wake-up call. Thinking that you are a genius and being one are two different things. The former being an opinion, whereas the latter is result of hard work.

More by this author

Tayyab Babar

Tayyab is a PR/Marketing consultant. He writes about work, productivity and tech tips at Lifehack.

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Published on July 22, 2019

The Secret to Success Is Failure

The Secret to Success Is Failure

You see a job that you’d love to do; and, you decide to go for it.

You submit your application, and then are pleased to find a few days later that you’re invited for an interview. This goes well, and you begin to have quiet optimism that a job offer will be coming your way soon…

It doesn’t.

Instead, you receive a letter saying thank you — but, they’ve decided to go with another candidate.

At this point, you could allow yourself to feel defeated, sad, and perhaps even a little angry. These are normal responses to bad news. Yet, it’s not wise to let them fester and disrupt your goals. Successful people don’t let failures kill their dreams.

Sure, they might temporarily feel deflated. But, very quickly, they pick themselves back up again and begin planning their next steps towards success.

How about you? Do you currently feel embarrassed or guilty about failing?

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Don’t worry if you do, as most of us have been programmed since childhood to see failure as a bad thing. Yet, as I’m going to show you in the next few minutes, this programming is dead wrong — failure is actually an essential part of success.

Don’t Be Tempted by Perfection

The first thing I want you to think about is this:

Resisting failure is, at its core, seeking perfection. And, perfection doesn’t exist.

That’s why perfectionists are also likely to be chronic procrastinators.

As Psychology Today noted in their article Pitfalls of Perfectionism, people who constantly seek for perfection stop themselves from engaging in challenging experiences.[1] That’s because these perfectionists are less creative and innovative than the average person — plus they’re less likely to take risks. Add these factors together, and you have someone who is overly focused on their own performance and is always quick to defend themselves. Unfortunately, these traits prevent them from having the necessary focus when it comes to learning new tasks.

Let me be clear: Striving for perfection is not the same as striving for excellence.

The former is a fool’s quest for the unattainable; while the latter is really just about doing our very best (which we can all obtain).

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And, there’s another problem that perfectionists have to deal with. Namely, when they fail to reach their ideal, they feel dejected and defeated. And — as you can imagine — repeat this often enough, and these people can end up feeling bitter and depressed about their lives.

So, forget about seeking perfection, and instead, focus on always doing your very best.

Why Failure Is Good

I recently came across a Forbes article Failing Your Way To Success: Why Failure Is A Crucial Ingredient For Success[2] that helped explain why most people are opposed to failure.

The article referenced the work of two world-renowned psychologists (Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky), who were awarded a Nobel Prize for their work. They discovered something very interesting: the effect of a loss is twice as great as the gain from a win.

Have you ever thought about that before?

What it means is that failure has a far greater negative impact on us than the positive impact of an equivalent win. It’s no wonder then that most people are afraid to fail.

And, here’s where it gets interesting…

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Amazon (which along with Apple, Facebook and Google, is considered one of the Big Four technology companies) has a culture that is tolerant of failure. And Jeff Bezos — Amazon’s founder and CEO — believes that this culture is one of the main reasons for the company’s big achievements over the last 25 years. In a letter to shareholders, he said:

“Failure comes part and parcel with invention. It’s not optional. We understand that and believe in failing early and iterating until we get it right.” 

The truth is, failure can open up a world of exciting opportunities for you.

How does it do this?

By constantly showing you new avenues to travel on. And, by helping you learn from your mistakes — so you can be better next time around. It also helps you identify what’s not working for your life, and what is.

So instead of seeing something as detrimental to success, you should see it as a tool FOR success. A tool that will help you to continually refine your journey in life.

If you still need some convincing that the secret to success is failure, then take a look at the following excerpts from our article 10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On:

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• J.K. Rowling encountered a catalog of failures shortly after graduating from college, including: being jobless, the breakdown of her marriage, and living as a lone parent. However, instead of giving up on life, she used these failures to propel her to write the Harry Potter fantasy series — the best-selling book series in history.

• Walt Disney didn’t have an easy start either. He dropped out of school at a young age in a failed attempt to join the army. Later, one of his early business ventures, Laugh-o-Gram Studios, went bankrupt. He was also fired from a Missouri newspaper for “not being creative enough.” (Yes, you read that correctly.) Was he defeated by these failures? Just ask Mickey Mouse.

• Michael Jordan had this to say about the power of failure: “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Embrace Failure, and Prepare for Success

I hope this has been an eye-opener for you.

Failure has long been branded a leper; but in reality, it’s a healthy, essential component of success.

The trick of course is to develop the mindset of a winner. Someone who sees failures as stepping stones to success — and defeats as important learning experiences.

So, are you ready to embrace your failures and take the proud road to success?

I sincerely hope so.

Featured photo credit: Bruce Mars via unsplash.com

Reference

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