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6 Ways to Keep Yourself Going When You’re Almost Ready to Quit

6 Ways to Keep Yourself Going When You’re Almost Ready to Quit

No matter who we are, there are times when we will feel down, when things will feel difficult, when things will feel tough and we will want to give up. Successful people have the same problem too. They face times when they feel down, stuck in life and want to quit. The only difference between successful people and ordinary people lies in how they deal with this situation.

Here are 6 ways to keep yourself going when you’re almost ready to quit:

1. Revisit Your Purpose

Why do you do what you do in the first place? Why do you want to achieve your goal? Why do you want to be financially rich? Why do you want to be a millionaire?

Remember, your reasons behind your goals will become your driving force. And how strong that force is will be determined by how emotional and how strong your reasons are. Most people are not truly committed to their goals simply because they don’t have a strong reason behind them to drive them. It doesn’t really matter to them if they don’t achieve their goals.

When your purpose behind doing something is strong and emotional, you will do whatever it takes to accomplish the task. If you read the biographies of successful people, you will notice that it was when life hit them the hardest that they were able to bounce back and achieve even more. They created amazing results after facing big failures. This is because when you leave yourself with no other options but to achieve what you are set out to accomplish, you will definitely fulfill your desire.

What you can do: Before you give up and quit, think about the reason why you started. Revisit your purpose and make sure the reasons behind it are strong, emotional and able to push you to achieve what you want in life.

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2. Remember Your Accomplishments

When you are down and want to quit, think about all the things you have accomplished before. No matter who you are and what you have done, you should have some accomplishments to look back on. If you say that you have no achievements, think harder.

If you are reading this right now, you are doing much better than those who are not aware of wanting success and something more out of life. At least you dare to dream and somehow came across this article. Therefore, you must not let obstacles stop you. Think about all the great things you have done.

Learn this technique called “celebrate all wins.” Regardless of whether your win is big or small, just celebrate it. This is how Tiger Woods creates his anchor state and changes his feelings. Every time he swings his golf club to hit the ball to the location he wants, he will celebrate it with a ‘pump’ with his hand and his fist. This is how he celebrates his wins.

You have to celebrate your wins too. This is important because when you are down and feeling like you want to quit, you will be in a lousy state and thinking negative thoughts. You will never feel good about anything if you are in this state. When you change your feelings, you will change your thinking and your state. And when you are feeling good, great things will come to you.

This is why you have to constantly remind yourself of your accomplishments and celebrate all your achievements, big and small.

What you can do: Get yourself a note pad where you can record all of your accomplishments. You can write them down, draw them, or even cut out relevant pictures and paste them into your note pad. Go through your winning note pad often, especially when you need it most.

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3. Understand That Setbacks and Obstacles Are Necessary

This is just a natural law that you need to understand. We learn the most through failures and obstacles, not through success and winnings. Often, it is only when a relationship breaks down that we learn to appreciate each other. We learn the importance of money when we have none. This is why success is a lousy teacher; you learn the most from failures.

If you have never failed before, you have to work smart and learn from others’ failures and experience. Look at Michael Jordan, he missed more than 9,000 shots in his career. His team entrusted him with the winning shot and he failed, not only once, but 26 times. Jordan said that he failed over and over again, that is why he succeeds.

Remember, rocks can be turned into diamonds given enough pressure. Just like there will be a rainbow after the rain. Tough times are necessary to test your tenacity. Obstacles are there for you to overcome because they are your greatest learning experiences.

Every great leader and every successful person will have to go through this process. You will be the same. You need to understand that setbacks and obstacles are necessary. So press on and just get through it.

What you can do: Never lose hope, keep on working and improving your strategies, learn from your setbacks and obstacles. Most of all, never give up.

4. Focus on What You Do Best

Stop thinking about quitting or worrying if things will ever work out. Instead, think about what you do best and just do it. This is exactly what happened to Donald Trump, the real estate billionaire, many years ago. When the economy goes down, many businessmen go bankrupt, and many people worry about their finances. What Donald Trump did when this happened to him is a little bit unique from the rest. When most people were worrying about how bad the situation would be, he was out there doing what he did best; negotiating real estate deals. Guess what? He did manage to turn the situation around for himself and made a comeback. He got himself out of millions of dollars of debt and went ahead to earn billions of dollars more.

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When you are facing tough times, you should never worry or think about how bad the situation is going to be. Worrying cannot get you out of the situation, and focusing on the problem is not going to help either. What you have to do is to get out of the trap by focusing on what you do best.

Bill Gates consistently focused on developing the best software, he never really worried so much about handling objections and complaints from his customers. This is because he knew that developing software was what he did best. He just needed to focus on creating the best software that added value to people’s lives. Customer complaints would be handled by other people, his staff.

You don’t have to give up on your dreams or goals. Let go of the negative thoughts and feelings that make you miserable and think you want to quit. Change your mind-set to a positive one and feel great by doing what you love.

What you can do: Take action and focus on things that will get you out of the negative loop. Do not focus in the problem. Instead, think of the solution by working on things you are passionate about and are meant to do.

5. Clear Your Head

When the world around you seems to crumble, maybe it is time for you to get out of it and stay clear. You cannot think if you are stuck in a blurry thought pattern. What you have to do is to get out of it.

So clear your head. When you are worrying about things not going smoothly and you are considering quitting, maybe you should take a walk, go for a trip, get a good sleep, or do something totally not related to the problem.

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This can be a great strategy to overcome the obstacles you face. If you were lost in a jungle and you didn’t know which direction to follow, what could you do? Perhaps trying to get to higher ground so that you can see the bigger picture and which direction you should go might be a good idea, right? This is exactly what you do. Get yourself out of the maze by doing something unrelated.

Stop thinking about the problem. And when you stop dwelling on the problems, the solutions may automatically appear to you.

What you can do: Do something that can clear your mind. Take a walk in the garden, get some sleep, get your favorite beverage, watch a movie, go window shopping, go cycling, go hiking, go diving, take a swim, go for a jog, etc. You can even go for holiday, travel to other country, or do something out of the norm if you want to.

6. You Are Not Alone

Always remember that you are not alone. There are so many people around you who are waiting to assist you and support you.

One of the wisest ways to get back up when you are down and want to give up is to read motivational books. If you haven’t read any of these books before, try to read Arnold Schwarzenegger’s biography, Richard Branson’s success story, read about Nick Vujicic, read about Steve Jobs, and read books by Anthony Robbins. There are so many great books out there waiting for you, and you only need to spend 30 minutes to an hour a day to read them.

Beside books, you can look for mentors or people who can give you mental support. When you talk to these positive people, you will get influenced by their positivity and your thoughts will become brighter. If you mix with negative people, you will give up sooner and quit faster. Hence, mix and network with people who think positively.

There is a saying, if you want to know how much your income is, try to figure out your close friends’ incomes and get the average. Your income will never run too far from that figure. Who you talk to and who you mix with count.

What you can do: Go to your local bookstore, get yourself some motivational books and commit 30 minutes to an hour a day to read them. Network and talk to positive people who can support you. Get yourself a mentor and immerse yourself in the positive energy pool.

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Shawn Lim

Blogger, Entrepreneur, and Motivation Expert

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Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

Habits are hard to kill, and rightly so. They are a part and parcel of your personality traits and mold your character.

However, habits are not always something over-the-top and quirky enough to get noticed. Think of subtle habits like tapping fingers when you are nervous and humming songs while you drive. These are nothing but ingrained habits that you may not realize easily.

Just take a few minutes and think of something specific that you do all the time. You will notice how it has become a habit for you without any explicit realization. Everything you do on a daily basis starting with your morning routine, lunch preferences to exercise routines are all habits.

Habits mostly form from life experiences and certain observed behaviors, not all of them are healthy. Habitual smoking can be dangerous to your health. Similarly, a habit could also make you lose out on enjoying something to its best – like how some people just cannot stop swaying their bodies when delivering a speech.

Thus, there could be a few habits that you would want to change about yourself. But changing habits is not as easy as it seems.

In this article, you will learn why it isn’t easy to build new habits, and how to change habits.

What Makes It Hard To Change A Habit?

To want to change a particular habit means to change something very fundamental about your behavior.[1] Hence, it’s necessary to understand how habits actually form and why they are so difficult to actually get out of.

The Biology

Habits form in a place what we call the subconscious mind in our brain.[2]

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Our brains have two modes of operation. The first one is an automatic pilot kind of system that is fast and works on reflexes often. It is what we call the subconscious part. This is the part that is associated with everything that comes naturally to you.

The second mode is the conscious mode where every action and decision is well thought out and follows a controlled way of thinking.

A fine example to distinguish both would be to consider yourself learning to drive or play an instrument. For the first time you try learning, you think before every movement you make. But once you have got the hang of it, you might drive without applying much thought into it.

Both systems work together in our brains at all times. When a habit is formed, it moves from the conscious part to the subconscious making it difficult to control.

So, the key idea in deconstructing a habit is to go from the subconscious to the conscious.

Another thing you have to understand about habits is that they can be conscious or hidden.

Conscious habits are those that require active input from your side. For instance, if you stop setting your alarm in the morning, you will stop waking up at the same time.

Hidden habits, on the other hand, are habits that we do without realizing. These make up the majority of our habits and we wouldn’t even know them until someone pointed them out. So the first difficulty in breaking these habits is to actually identify them. As they are internalized, they need a lot of attention to detail for self-identification. That’s not all.

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Habits can be physical, social, and mental, energy-based and even be particular to productivity. Understanding them is necessary to know why they are difficult to break and what can be done about them.

The Psychology

Habits get engraved into our memories depending on the way we think, feel and act over a particular period of time. The procedural part of memory deals with habit formation and studies have observed that various types of conditioning of behavior could affect your habit formations.

Classical conditioning or pavlovian conditioning is when you start associating a memory with reality.[3] A dog that associates ringing bell to food will start salivating. The same external stimuli such as the sound of church bells can make a person want to pray.

Operant conditioning is when experience and the feelings associated with it form a habit.[4] By encouraging or discouraging an act, individuals could either make it a habit or stop doing it.

Observational learning is another way habits could take form. A child may start walking the same way their parent does.

What Can You Do To Change a Habit?

Sure, habits are hard to control but it is not impossible. With a few tips and hard-driven dedication, you can surely get over your nasty habits.

Here are some ways that make use of psychological findings to help you:

1. Identify Your Habits

As mentioned earlier, habits can be quite subtle and hidden from your view. You have to bring your subconscious habits to an aware state of mind. You could do it by self-observation or by asking your friends or family to point out the habit for your sake.

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2. Find out the Impact of Your Habit

Every habit produces an effect – either physical or mental. Find out what exactly it is doing to you. Does it help you relieve stress or does it give you some pain relief?

It could be anything simple. Sometimes biting your nails could be calming your nerves. Understanding the effect of a habit is necessary to control it.

3. Apply Logic

You don’t need to be force-fed with wisdom and advice to know what an unhealthy habit could do to you.

Late-night binge-watching just before an important presentation is not going to help you. Take a moment and apply your own wisdom and logic to control your seemingly nastily habits.

4. Choose an Alternative

As I said, every habit induces some feeling. So, it could be quite difficult to get over it unless you find something else that can replace it. It can be a simple non-harming new habit that you can cultivate to get over a bad habit.

Say you have the habit of banging your head hard when you are angry. That’s going to be bad for you. Instead, the next time you are angry, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Or maybe start imagining yourself on a luxury yacht. Just think of something that will work for you.

5. Remove Triggers

Get rid of items and situations that can trigger your bad habit.

Stay away from smoke breaks if you are trying to quit it. Remove all those candy bars from the fridge if you want to control your sweet cravings.

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6. Visualize Change

Our brains can be trained to forget a habit if we start visualizing the change. Serious visualization is retained and helps as a motivator in breaking the habit loop.

For instance, to replace your habit of waking up late, visualize yourself waking up early and enjoying the early morning jog every day. By continuing this, you would naturally feel better to wake up early and do your new hobby.

7. Avoid Negative Talks and Thinking

Just as how our brain is trained to accept a change in habit, continuous negative talk and thinking could hamper your efforts put into breaking a habit.

Believe you can get out of it and assert yourself the same.

Final Thoughts

Changing habits isn’t easy, so do not expect an overnight change!

Habits took a long time to form. It could take a while to completely break out of it. You will have to accept that sometimes you may falter in your efforts. Don’t let negativity seep in when it seems hard. Keep going at it slowly and steadily.

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Featured photo credit: Mel via unsplash.com

Reference

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