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6 Ways to Keep Yourself Going When You’re Almost Ready to Quit

6 Ways to Keep Yourself Going When You’re Almost Ready to Quit

No matter who we are, there are times when we will feel down, when things will feel difficult, when things will feel tough and we will want to give up. Successful people have the same problem too. They face times when they feel down, stuck in life and want to quit. The only difference between successful people and ordinary people lies in how they deal with this situation.

Here are 6 ways to keep yourself going when you’re almost ready to quit:

1. Revisit Your Purpose

Why do you do what you do in the first place? Why do you want to achieve your goal? Why do you want to be financially rich? Why do you want to be a millionaire?

Remember, your reasons behind your goals will become your driving force. And how strong that force is will be determined by how emotional and how strong your reasons are. Most people are not truly committed to their goals simply because they don’t have a strong reason behind them to drive them. It doesn’t really matter to them if they don’t achieve their goals.

When your purpose behind doing something is strong and emotional, you will do whatever it takes to accomplish the task. If you read the biographies of successful people, you will notice that it was when life hit them the hardest that they were able to bounce back and achieve even more. They created amazing results after facing big failures. This is because when you leave yourself with no other options but to achieve what you are set out to accomplish, you will definitely fulfill your desire.

What you can do: Before you give up and quit, think about the reason why you started. Revisit your purpose and make sure the reasons behind it are strong, emotional and able to push you to achieve what you want in life.

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2. Remember Your Accomplishments

When you are down and want to quit, think about all the things you have accomplished before. No matter who you are and what you have done, you should have some accomplishments to look back on. If you say that you have no achievements, think harder.

If you are reading this right now, you are doing much better than those who are not aware of wanting success and something more out of life. At least you dare to dream and somehow came across this article. Therefore, you must not let obstacles stop you. Think about all the great things you have done.

Learn this technique called “celebrate all wins.” Regardless of whether your win is big or small, just celebrate it. This is how Tiger Woods creates his anchor state and changes his feelings. Every time he swings his golf club to hit the ball to the location he wants, he will celebrate it with a ‘pump’ with his hand and his fist. This is how he celebrates his wins.

You have to celebrate your wins too. This is important because when you are down and feeling like you want to quit, you will be in a lousy state and thinking negative thoughts. You will never feel good about anything if you are in this state. When you change your feelings, you will change your thinking and your state. And when you are feeling good, great things will come to you.

This is why you have to constantly remind yourself of your accomplishments and celebrate all your achievements, big and small.

What you can do: Get yourself a note pad where you can record all of your accomplishments. You can write them down, draw them, or even cut out relevant pictures and paste them into your note pad. Go through your winning note pad often, especially when you need it most.

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3. Understand That Setbacks and Obstacles Are Necessary

This is just a natural law that you need to understand. We learn the most through failures and obstacles, not through success and winnings. Often, it is only when a relationship breaks down that we learn to appreciate each other. We learn the importance of money when we have none. This is why success is a lousy teacher; you learn the most from failures.

If you have never failed before, you have to work smart and learn from others’ failures and experience. Look at Michael Jordan, he missed more than 9,000 shots in his career. His team entrusted him with the winning shot and he failed, not only once, but 26 times. Jordan said that he failed over and over again, that is why he succeeds.

Remember, rocks can be turned into diamonds given enough pressure. Just like there will be a rainbow after the rain. Tough times are necessary to test your tenacity. Obstacles are there for you to overcome because they are your greatest learning experiences.

Every great leader and every successful person will have to go through this process. You will be the same. You need to understand that setbacks and obstacles are necessary. So press on and just get through it.

What you can do: Never lose hope, keep on working and improving your strategies, learn from your setbacks and obstacles. Most of all, never give up.

4. Focus on What You Do Best

Stop thinking about quitting or worrying if things will ever work out. Instead, think about what you do best and just do it. This is exactly what happened to Donald Trump, the real estate billionaire, many years ago. When the economy goes down, many businessmen go bankrupt, and many people worry about their finances. What Donald Trump did when this happened to him is a little bit unique from the rest. When most people were worrying about how bad the situation would be, he was out there doing what he did best; negotiating real estate deals. Guess what? He did manage to turn the situation around for himself and made a comeback. He got himself out of millions of dollars of debt and went ahead to earn billions of dollars more.

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When you are facing tough times, you should never worry or think about how bad the situation is going to be. Worrying cannot get you out of the situation, and focusing on the problem is not going to help either. What you have to do is to get out of the trap by focusing on what you do best.

Bill Gates consistently focused on developing the best software, he never really worried so much about handling objections and complaints from his customers. This is because he knew that developing software was what he did best. He just needed to focus on creating the best software that added value to people’s lives. Customer complaints would be handled by other people, his staff.

You don’t have to give up on your dreams or goals. Let go of the negative thoughts and feelings that make you miserable and think you want to quit. Change your mind-set to a positive one and feel great by doing what you love.

What you can do: Take action and focus on things that will get you out of the negative loop. Do not focus in the problem. Instead, think of the solution by working on things you are passionate about and are meant to do.

5. Clear Your Head

When the world around you seems to crumble, maybe it is time for you to get out of it and stay clear. You cannot think if you are stuck in a blurry thought pattern. What you have to do is to get out of it.

So clear your head. When you are worrying about things not going smoothly and you are considering quitting, maybe you should take a walk, go for a trip, get a good sleep, or do something totally not related to the problem.

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This can be a great strategy to overcome the obstacles you face. If you were lost in a jungle and you didn’t know which direction to follow, what could you do? Perhaps trying to get to higher ground so that you can see the bigger picture and which direction you should go might be a good idea, right? This is exactly what you do. Get yourself out of the maze by doing something unrelated.

Stop thinking about the problem. And when you stop dwelling on the problems, the solutions may automatically appear to you.

What you can do: Do something that can clear your mind. Take a walk in the garden, get some sleep, get your favorite beverage, watch a movie, go window shopping, go cycling, go hiking, go diving, take a swim, go for a jog, etc. You can even go for holiday, travel to other country, or do something out of the norm if you want to.

6. You Are Not Alone

Always remember that you are not alone. There are so many people around you who are waiting to assist you and support you.

One of the wisest ways to get back up when you are down and want to give up is to read motivational books. If you haven’t read any of these books before, try to read Arnold Schwarzenegger’s biography, Richard Branson’s success story, read about Nick Vujicic, read about Steve Jobs, and read books by Anthony Robbins. There are so many great books out there waiting for you, and you only need to spend 30 minutes to an hour a day to read them.

Beside books, you can look for mentors or people who can give you mental support. When you talk to these positive people, you will get influenced by their positivity and your thoughts will become brighter. If you mix with negative people, you will give up sooner and quit faster. Hence, mix and network with people who think positively.

There is a saying, if you want to know how much your income is, try to figure out your close friends’ incomes and get the average. Your income will never run too far from that figure. Who you talk to and who you mix with count.

What you can do: Go to your local bookstore, get yourself some motivational books and commit 30 minutes to an hour a day to read them. Network and talk to positive people who can support you. Get yourself a mentor and immerse yourself in the positive energy pool.

More by this author

Shawn Lim

Blogger, Entrepreneur, and Motivation Expert

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Last Updated on March 15, 2019

How to Be a Leader Who Is Inspiring and Influential

How to Be a Leader Who Is Inspiring and Influential

When I began managing people 15 years ago, I thought having a fancy title was synonymous with influence. Over time, I learned that power is conferred based on likeability, authenticity, courage, relationships and consistent behavior. When leaders cultivate these attributes, they earn power, which really means influence.

Understanding influence is essential to professional growth, and companies rise and fall based on the quality of their leadership.

In this article, we will look into the essentials of effective leadership and how to be a leader who is inspiring and influential.

What Makes a Leader Fail?

A host of factors influence a leader’s ability to succeed. To the extent that leaders fail to outline a compelling vision and strategy, they risk losing the trust and confidence of their teams. Employees want to know where a company is going and the strategy for how they will get there. Having this information enables employees to feel safe, and it allows them to see mistakes as part of the learning journey versus as fatal occurrences.

If employees and customers do not believe a company’s leadership is authentic and inspiring, they may disengage, or they may be less inclined to offer constructive criticism that can help a company innovate or help a leader improve.

And it is not just the leadership at the top that matters. Middle managers play a distinct role in guiding teams. Depending on the company’s size, employees may have more access to mid-level managers than they do members of the C-suite, meaning their supervisors and managers have greater influence on the employee and the customer experience.

What Is Effective Leadership?

Effective leadership is inspiring, and it is influential. Cultivating inspiring and influential leaders requires building relationships across the company.

Leaders must be connected to both the teams they lead as well as to their own colleagues and managers. This is key as titles do not make a person a leader, nor do they automatically confer influence. These are earned through trusting relationships. This explains why some leaders can get more out of their teams than others and why some leaders experience soaring profits and engagement while others sizzle out.

Eric Garton said in an April 25, 2017, Harvard Business Review article:[1]

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“… inspiring leaders are those who use their unique combination of strengths to motivate individuals and teams to take on bold missions – and hold them accountable for results. And they unlock higher performance through empowerment, not command and control.”

How to Be an Inspiring and Influential Leader

To be an inspiring and influential leader requires:

1. Courage

The late poet Maya Angelou once said,

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.”

Courage is required in the workplace when implementing new strategies, especially when they go against professional norms.

For instance, I heard Lisa TerKeurst, bestselling author and founder of Proverbs 31 Ministries, explain her decision to move away from her company’s magazine. While the organization had long had a magazine, she saw a future where it didn’t exist.

In order to make the switch, she risked angering her team members and customers. She took a chance, and what started out as a monthly newsletter, has grown into a multi-dimensional organization boasting half a million followers. Had Lisa not found the courage to change the direction of her organization, they undoubtedly would not have been able to experience such exponential growth.

It also takes courage to give and receive feedback. When leaders see employees who are not living into the company’s mission or who are engaging in behavior that may undermine their long-term success, one must risk temporary angst and speak candidly with the colleague in question.

Similarly, it takes courage to hear constructive criticism and try to change. In business, as in life, courage is necessary for being an inspiring and influential leader.

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2. A Commitment to Face Your Internal Demons.

If you feel great about yourself, enter a leadership position. You are likely to be triggered in ways you didn’t think possible. You are also likely to receive feedback that may leave you second-guessing yourself and your leadership skills.

The truth about leading others is that you get to a point where you realize that it is difficult to take people to places where you yourself haven’t gone.

To be an influential and inspiring leader, you have to face your own demons and vow to continually improve. Influential leaders take their personal evolution serious, and they invest in coaching, therapy and mindfulness to ensure that their personal struggles do not overshadow their professional development.

3. A Willingness to Accept Feedback

Inspiring and influential leaders are not afraid to accept feedback. In fact, they actively solicit it. They understand that everyone in their life has a lesson to teach them, and they are willing to accept it.

Inspirational leaders understand that feedback is neither good nor bad but rather an offering that is critical to growth. Even when it hurts or is an affront to the ego, influential leaders understand that feedback is critical to their ability to lead.

4. Likability

Some people will argue that leaders need not worry about being liked but should instead focus on being respected. I disagree. Both are important.

When team members like their boss and believe their boss likes them, they are more likely to go the extra mile to fulfill departmental or organizational goals. Likable leaders are moved to the front of the line when it comes to being influential.

Relatedly, when colleagues feel management dislikes them, they experience internal stress and can spend unnecessary time focusing on the source of their manager’s discontent versus the work they have been hired to do.

So, likability is important for both the leader and the people she leads.

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5. Vulnerability

Vulnerability is critical for being an inspiring leader. People want the truth. They admire leaders who can occasionally demonstrate vulnerability. It promotes deeper relationships and inspires trust.

When leaders can showcase vulnerability appropriately, they destroy the illusion that one must be perfect to be a leader. They also demonstrate that vulnerability is not a dirty word; they too can be vulnerable and ask for a helping hand when necessary.

6. Authenticity

Authenticity is about living up to one’s stated values in public and behind closed doors.

Influential leaders are authentic. They set to live out their values and use those values to guide their decisions. The interesting thing about leadership is that people are not looking for perfect leaders. They are, in part, looking for leaders who are authentic.

7. A True Understanding of Inspiration

Effective leaders are inspirational. They understand the power of words and deeds and use both strategically.

Inspiring leaders appropriately use stories and narratives to enable the teams around them to see common situations in an entirely new light.

Inspirational leaders also showcase grit and triumph while convincing the people around them that success and victory are attainable.

Finally, inspiring leaders encourage the teams they lead to tap into their own genius. They convince others that genius is not reserved for a select few but that most people have it in them.

As explained in the article True Leadership: What Separates a Leader from a Boss:

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“A leader creates visions and motivates team members to work together towards the same goal.”

8. An Ability to See the Humanity in Others

Inspiring and influential leaders see the humanity in others. Rather than treating their teams as mere tools to accomplish organizational goals, they believe the people around them are unique beings with inherent value.

This means knowing when to pause to address personal challenges and dispelling with the myth that the personal is separate from the professional.

9. A Passion for Continual Learning

Inspiring and influential leaders are committed to continual learning. They invest in their own development and take responsibility for their professional growth.

These leaders understand that like a college campus, the workplace is a laboratory for learning. They believe that they can learn from multiple generations in the workplace as well as from people from diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds.

Influential leaders proactively seek out opportunities for learning.

The Bottom Line

No one said leadership was easy, but it is also a joy. Influencing others to action and positively impacting the lives of others is a reward unto itself.

Since leadership abounds, there is an abundance of resources to help you grow into the type of leader who inspires and influences others.

More Resources About Effective Leadership

Featured photo credit: Markus Spiske via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Harvard Business Review: How to Be an Inspiring Leader

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