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20 Things You Have To Know If You Want To Be Successful In Life

20 Things You Have To Know If You Want To Be Successful In Life

I know plenty of very successful people, but they all have different definitions of what success means to them. For some, success is money. For others, it means just being happy. No matter what your definition of success is, here are 20 things you need to know before you can live a fulfilling and successful life.

1. Money doesn’t buy everything.

“There are people who have money and people who are rich.”

Coco Chanel

Sure, you can purchase fast cars, large TVs and all of the amenities you could want in life, from shoes to gold watches; however, you can’t buy friendship, love, trust and faith. Trying to arrange your life around money won’t bring you happiness.

Instead of centering your life on how much you owe, how much you’ll make, and how much you’ll give, be rich and full in the world around you. If you don’t, life will pass by too quickly and all you’ll have to show for it is wasted time and energy.

2. Honor the code of responsibility.

“You will ever remember that all the end of study is to make you a good man and a useful citizen.”

John Adams

In life, we are always striving to be the best. We want to be better than our competition. We want to know it all and have it all. On the contrary, we have the principle that you have a responsibility to everyone and a responsibility for only yourself. Your life is multi-faceted.

Prioritize your life and see how you can contribute to your community. In return, gain insight, wisdom and skills that can help foster you as a person. Join a volunteer group, participate in a charity, or help someone in need.

3. Expect the unexpected.

“To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.”

Oscar Wilde

Be proactive and always think ahead. Like in any good game of chess, you want to anticipate any variation or move that may occur. With life, prepare for the unexpected. If you are waiting to hear whether or not you got the job, don’t set yourself up for failure and place it in an out-of-reach box. Also, don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.

Life is all about curveballs, twists and turns. Let’s be honest: if everything was expected, we’d be bored. Stay ahead of the curve and be prepared for any outcome.

4. Never let others define you.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Bernard M. Baruch

Why would we ever want to live in a world where we are like everyone else? Could you imagine never getting the choice of the clothes you wear, the music you listen to or the hobbies you love? We are all unique.

Yes, we all have our quirks, but at the end of the day, you can’t let others define you. Never let anyone tell you who to be or what to do. They can dictate their own life, not yours. If they try to, they are not worth your time. Surround yourself with people who love you for who you are.

5. Go big or go home.

“I live by ‘Go big or go home.’ That’s with everything. It’s like either commit and go for it or don’t do it at all. I apply that to everything. I apply that to relationships, I apply that to like sports, I apply that to everything. That’s what I live by. That’s how I like it.”

Paul Walker

Embrace your talents and strengths, and go beyond what is required. If you need to turn in a paper for your boss by Friday, have it edited, reviewed, and submitted on Thursday. If you want to bake for a picnic, try a new recipe and commit. If you want to land that big promotion, work hard and prove that you deserve it.

Aspire to be successful, and you will not fail. Maybe you won’t meet your goal or win, but at least you tried. You showed gumption, and that is a great feeling that cannot be duplicated.

6. Be present at all times.

“The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.”

Bill Cosby

When we live in the present, we will keep our focus. We cannot change what has happened, and we cannot control everything that will happen. Therefore, enjoy the time you have and don’t fixate on what may be, what could be, or what could have been.

Live in the moment and love every minute of it. Capture memories with cameras, whether it’s your first skydive, first love, or first job.

7. Take risks.

“A ship is always safe at the shore—but that is NOT what it is built for.”

Albert Einstein

Don’t be afraid to get your feet wet and try new things. Think to yourself, “what is the worst that can happen?” For example, maybe you are not a fan of seafood. Your friend offers you sushi, but you are afraid to try it. Maybe this sushi is covered with fresh strawberries and lemon poppy seed glaze over white tuna. You love strawberries.

How would you know you hated sushi if you didn’t try it? What’s the worst that can happen? You spit it out. Life is about risks. You’ll never know until you try.

8. Don’t worry; be happy.

“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.”

Anne Frank

Find the good things around you even in tough situations. Anne Frank, the young girl who chronicled her experiences while hiding from Nazi Germany during the Holocaust, saw beauty in little things. She never dwelled on the negatives, about dying, about being captured.

She endured so much at a young age. She focused her thoughts on her first crush, her first kiss, herself changing into a woman. Focus all of your attention on the things you have and the experiences you take with you. Cherish the good and leave your dark storm cloud behind.

9. Always seek a greater purpose.

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”

Dalai Lama

Along the lines of responsibility, always seek a greater purpose in life. Know that you are one person and that there is a world full of people who can relate to you and feel compassion. Help others and see that we are all connected in some way to bring out the good in each other.

10. Keep your fire burning.

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”

G.K. Chesterton

No matter where your life takes you—your career path, your interests, the people in your life—always be passionate about what you do. Avoid exhausting yourself over complaining about what is going wrong with life, and always do what makes you happy.

Keep your fire burning and ignite your inner spark to see what makes you feel and fall in love with what you do. If you’re a teacher, maybe seeing your students succeed is your reason for teaching. If you are a firefighter, maybe you’re saving lives. Find your passion and harness it.

11. Smell the roses.

“Rest and be thankful.”

William Wordsworth

Take a break every once in a while and stop to appreciate the world around you. You’ll be surprised at how the little things, like budding flowers, cracks in a sidewalk, and even the smell of rain, can inspire, encourage, and uplift. Never take these moments for granted and enjoy solace every once in a while. You will exercise your mind and body.

12. Exercise your mind.

“Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.”

Anthony J. D’Angelo

Become a life-long learner and expand your mind. Pick up a book, read a newspaper, or go to a library. Watch the news and talk about what you’ve learned. Expanding your mind can open yourself up to not only gained wisdom, but new skills and opportunities.

If you want to change your career path, you can find something that peaks your interest. Just don’t be afraid to learn about something that normally wouldn’t interest you.

13. Cherish your body.

“Growing into your future requires a dedication to caring for yourself as if you were rare and precious, which you are, and regarding all life around you as equally so, which it is.”

Victoria Moran

You have one life to live, so you should treat your body with respect. As the old saying goes, “your body is a temple, cherish it.” Eat healthy, sleep well, and exercise your mind and body. Take care of yourself first. Find your priorities and make them count.

14. Say “hello.”

“Sometimes just when I say hello the right way, I’m like, ‘Whoa, I’m so cool.'”

Robert Pattinson

Kindness is contagious and guess what? It feels good too. Be the first person to say “hello.” Greet your neighbors, a stranger on the street, your co-worker three cubicles down to the right. Spread happiness and make someone’s day. Believe it or not, it will make your day as well.

15. Be alone.

“The best part about being alone is that you really don’t have to answer to anybody. You do what you want.”

Justin Timberlake

Make time for yourself. Turn off the TV, step away from the computer, put down the phone. Embrace your “me time” and think about what  made you happy today. Or, do not think at all. That’s the beauty of being alone. The choice is yours.

Savor the moments where you don’t have an obligation or a place to go. Put a blanket outside on a sunny day and lay down and bask in the healthy glow. Remember that each moment is precious.

16.Establish a routine.

“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.”

Mike Murdock

Try waking up at the same time each morning. Enjoy breakfast and plan your day. Instead of feeling stressed or frazzled, find comfort in knowing you can control some things in your life. When you have your bearings, it’s easier to take on new challenges and kinks in the system.

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17. Put you and your family first.

“The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege.”

Charles Kuralt

Sure, we all have deadlines and pressures at work and in our daily lives. However, they should never be put in front of your own health and your family’s wellness. You only have one family and they should always be a top priority.

Make a phone call and catch up. Have dinner or invite family over for a game night. If someone you love is in the hospital, go visit them. Cherish every moment you have with them.

18. Keep dreaming.

“Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart.”

Eli Young Band

Dream big. This means always strive for what you want out of life. Create a bucket list and organize your ideas so you know where to start. Maybe you’ve always wanted to run a 5k. Start out with the end in mind and work hard to reach your goal. If you fail, try again.

19. Reflect and react.

“Sometimes, you have to look back in order to understand the things that lie ahead.”

Yvonne Woon

Think of yourself as moldable. Your past experiences shape who you are. Take some time to think through your trials and errors, your successes. Then, see how they can propel you forward. Strive to improve and be the best version of yourself.

20. Be motivated.

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”

Harriet Beecher Stowe

Never give up. Keep your drive, your passion and faith in yourself. Know you can accomplish your goals and reach for them. Ask a friend to help encourage you along the way. Whether it’s losing weight, finding a new job, or reconnecting with an old friend, a support system is priceless.

What does it all mean?

By adopting all or even some of these philosophies, you can have a positive outlook on life and a greater sense of where you fit in. Success is not monetary gain. It’s not pleasing others. It’s about making yourself happy in your life. So, go out there and really live it up!

 

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Featured photo credit: Namphuong Van via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2019

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

Habits are hard to kill, and rightly so. They are a part and parcel of your personality traits and mold your character.

However, habits are not always something over-the-top and quirky enough to get noticed. Think of subtle habits like tapping fingers when you are nervous and humming songs while you drive. These are nothing but ingrained habits that you may not realize easily.

Just take a few minutes and think of something specific that you do all the time. You will notice how it has become a habit for you without any explicit realization. Everything you do on a daily basis starting with your morning routine, lunch preferences to exercise routines are all habits.

Habits mostly form from life experiences and certain observed behaviors, not all of them are healthy. Habitual smoking can be dangerous to your health. Similarly, a habit could also make you lose out on enjoying something to its best – like how some people just cannot stop swaying their bodies when delivering a speech.

Thus, there could be a few habits that you would want to change about yourself. But changing habits is not as easy as it seems, why?

What Makes It Hard To Change A Habit?

To want to change a particular habit means to change something very fundamental about your behavior.[1] Hence, it’s necessary to understand how habits actually form and why they are so difficult to actually get out of.

The Biology

Habits form in a place what we call the subconscious mind in our brain.[2]

Our brains have two modes of operation. The first one is an automatic pilot kind of system that is fast and works on reflexes often. It is what we call the subconscious part. This is the part that is associated with everything that comes naturally to you.

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The second mode is the conscious mode where every action and decision is well thought out and follows a controlled way of thinking.

A fine example to distinguish both would be to consider yourself learning to drive or play an instrument. For the first time you try learning, you think before every movement you make. But once you have got the hang of it, you might drive without applying much thought into it.

Both systems work together in our brains at all times. When a habit is formed, it moves from the conscious part to the subconscious making it difficult to control.

So, the key idea in deconstructing a habit is to go from the subconscious to the conscious.

Another thing you have to understand about habits is that they can be conscious or hidden.

Conscious habits are those that require active input from your side. For instance, if you stop setting your alarm in the morning, you will stop waking up at the same time.

Hidden habits, on the other hand, are habits that we do without realizing. These make up the majority of our habits and we wouldn’t even know them until someone pointed them out. So the first difficulty in breaking these habits is to actually identify them. As they are internalized, they need a lot of attention to detail for self-identification. That’s not all.

Habits can be physical, social, and mental, energy-based and even be particular to productivity. Understanding them is necessary to know why they are difficult to break and what can be done about them.

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The Psychology

Habits get engraved into our memories depending on the way we think, feel and act over a particular period of time. The procedural part of memory deals with habit formation and studies have observed that various types of conditioning of behavior could affect your habit formations.

Classical conditioning or pavlovian conditioning is when you start associating a memory with reality.[3] A dog that associates ringing bell to food will start salivating. The same external stimuli such as the sound of church bells can make a person want to pray.

Operant conditioning is when experience and the feelings associated with it form a habit.[4] By encouraging or discouraging an act, individuals could either make it a habit or stop doing it.

Observational learning is another way habits could take form. A child may start walking the same way their parent does.

What Can You Do To Change a Habit?

Sure, habits are hard to control but it is not impossible. With a few tips and hard-driven dedication, you can surely get over your nasty habits.

Here are some ways that make use of psychological findings to help you:

1. Identify Your Habits

As mentioned earlier, habits can be quite subtle and hidden from your view. You have to bring your subconscious habits to an aware state of mind. You could do it by self-observation or by asking your friends or family to point out the habit for your sake.

2. Find out the Impact of Your Habit

Every habit produces an effect – either physical or mental. Find out what exactly it is doing to you. Does it help you relieve stress or does it give you some pain relief?

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It could be anything simple. Sometimes biting your nails could be calming your nerves. Understanding the effect of a habit is necessary to control it.

3. Apply Logic

You don’t need to be force-fed with wisdom and advice to know what an unhealthy habit could do to you.

Late-night binge-watching just before an important presentation is not going to help you. Take a moment and apply your own wisdom and logic to control your seemingly nastily habits.

4. Choose an Alternative

As I said, every habit induces some feeling. So, it could be quite difficult to get over it unless you find something else that can replace it. It can be a simple non-harming new habit that you can cultivate to get over a bad habit.

Say you have the habit of banging your head hard when you are angry. That’s going to be bad for you. Instead, the next time you are angry, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Or maybe start imagining yourself on a luxury yacht. Just think of something that will work for you.

5. Remove Triggers

Get rid of items and situations that can trigger your bad habit.

Stay away from smoke breaks if you are trying to quit it. Remove all those candy bars from the fridge if you want to control your sweet cravings.

6. Visualize Change

Our brains can be trained to forget a habit if we start visualizing the change. Serious visualization is retained and helps as a motivator in breaking the habit loop.

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For instance, to replace your habit of waking up late, visualize yourself waking up early and enjoying the early morning jog every day. By continuing this, you would naturally feel better to wake up early and do your new hobby.

7. Avoid Negative Talks and Thinking

Just as how our brain is trained to accept a change in habit, continuous negative talk and thinking could hamper your efforts put into breaking a habit.

Believe you can get out of it and assert yourself the same.

Final Thoughts

Changing habits isn’t easy, so do not expect an overnight change!

Habits took a long time to form. It could take a while to completely break out of it. You will have to accept that sometimes you may falter in your efforts. Don’t let negativity seep in when it seems hard. Keep going at it slowly and steadily.

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Featured photo credit: Mel via unsplash.com

Reference

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