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10 Toxic Things Unsuccessful People Do That You Need To Avoid

10 Toxic Things Unsuccessful People Do That You Need To Avoid

You may have heard someone boil down the difference being between successful and unsuccessful as just one or two things. This is untrue. There is a gaping chasm with many twists, turns, crevices, and other hazardous things between being successful and unsuccessful. Here are 10 things that unsuccessful people do that you need to avoid.

1. They fear change.

Change is something that needs to happen. Afterall, going from unsuccessful at life to successful is, in and of itself, a change. In order to make one change, you must make other changes. Don’t be afraid of moving to a new city. Don’t be afraid to change your work and/or life habits. Unsuccessful people try to keep everything the same all the time because that is within their comfort zone. If you’re going to be successful, you need to get out of your comfort zone and get into the habit of changing the bad things in your life.

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things unsuccessful people do

    2. They blame others for their failure.

    If something bad happens, you should be accepting responsibility for it. Now, there are some circumstances where it is someone else’s fault and those times you have to roll with the punches. However, in most cases, bad things happen as a result of something you did. If you didn’t get that promotion, you either didn’t try enough or you didn’t make your effort known to those who matter. We’re not saying you’re a failure because something bad happened to you, because bad things happen to everyone. However, accepting responsibility for the bad things that happen to you can help prevent fewer bad things from happening to you.

    3. They do not set goals.

    If you don’t set goals, how do you expect to reach greatness? Unsuccessful people try too hard to go with the flow and see what happens. That’s a poor way to conduct your entire life. People need goals in order to succeed, and unsuccessful people are generally not striving to be anything more than what they already are.

    4. They get distracted every day.

    Tomorrow is always the time to get things done. You’ll hear unsuccessful people say things like, “I’ll stop smoking. Tomorrow.” Today is the day and now is the time. It’s never too soon to change your life. If you’re sitting around watching TV or playing video games for six to eight hours a day, you’re not making any improvements.

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    5. They don’t appreciate anything.

    Unsuccessful people simply don’t show any gratitude. No one ever became a somebody alone. You may have heard some rap stars say that they rose from poverty by themselves. That is nonsense. They rose from poverty with the help and support from hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of fans. When you do well at work, it’s partially because the other people at your work do their jobs and allow you to do yours better. No one owes you anything and no one has to help you, but they do anyway. Thank them. This can also be construed as having a sense of entitlement. You know who likes people who act entitled? No one.

    6. They stop learning.

    The day someone stops learning is the day they sabotage their future. There is an infinite amount of things out there to learn and knowledge is power. The more you know, the better you do and the better you do, the more successful you become. If you think you know all there is to know or all that you need to know, think again. Successful people never stop learning because the next lesson may be the one that helps them achieve even greater success.

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    things unsuccessful people do

      7. They operate on a transactional perspective

      There are a lot of big words here, but this is actually a fairly simple premise. People who act this way always expect something in return for something they do. When they do a favor, they expect a favor in return. If they loan you money, they expect you to loan them money some day. If they do your job one day, they expect you to do their job another day. This is a bad way to live because you’ll only ever be as good as your favors. Also, a lot of people call this “helping”. It’s not helping if you expect something in return.

      8. They’re always angry–usually at other people.

      Unsuccessful people are angry because they are unsuccessful. They’re stressed out, angry, and they take it out on the world instead of finding solutions to their problems. If you see someone who would rather rant and rave than find a solution, then you’ve run into someone who is not interested in becoming successful. Keep in mind that being wealthy does not equate to being successful. Successful people find solutions and are generally happier for it.

      9. They say they do things that they don’t do.

      There are a lot of people out there who do this. If you haven’t done something, then you should own up to it. No one has done everything and it’s not a sign of weakness to admit that you don’t do something. When you say you’ve done everything, people will either believe you and you’ll end up in a position that is way over your head which will cause you to fail, or you’ll end up around a bunch of people who never believe a word you say. Humility is a positive character trait.

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      10. They hoard information and data.

      This one is more abstract in practice but simple in theory. Caring is sharing. When we were all little kids, our teachers tried to teach us that sharing is important. People who hoard important information and data to empower themselves are destined for failure because the other people who need to know this information do not. When they don’t know, they fail and, as we discussed earlier, when the people around you fail, you fail. Successful people share information because when the information is on the table, everyone uses it to be successful. If they’re successful, your odds of becoming successful are much higher.

      There is a gaping chasm between being successful and unsuccessful. There are a billion ways that someone can be unsuccessful, but there are far fewer ways to be successful. Find those ways, live them, and be the person you know you’re capable of being.

      Featured photo credit: winston-churchill-failure-success-quote/Matt McWilliams via mattmcwilliams.com

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      Joseph Hindy

      A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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      Last Updated on March 21, 2019

      11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits

      11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits

      Most gurus talk about habits in a way that doesn’t help you:

      You need to push yourself more. You can’t be lazy. You need to wake up at 5 am. You need more motivation. You can never fail…blah blah “insert more gibberish here.”

      But let me share with you the unconventional truths I found out:

      To build and change habits, you don’t need motivation or wake up at 5 am. Heck, you can fail multiple times, be lazy, have no motivation and still pull it off with ease.

      It’s quite simple and easy to do, especially with the following list I’m going to show to you. But remember, Jim Rohn used to say,

      “What is simple and easy to do is also simple and easy not to do.”

      The important things to remember when changing your habits are both simple and easy, just don’t think that they don’t make any difference because they do.

      In fact, they are the only things that make a difference.

      Let’s see what those small things are, shall we?

      1. Start Small

      The biggest mistake I see people doing with habits is by going big. You don’t go big…ever. You start small with your habits.

      Want to grow a book reading habit? Don’t start reading a book a day. Start with 10 pages a day.

      Want to become a writer? Don’t start writing 10,000 words a day. Start with 300 words.

      Want to lose weight? Don’t stop eating ice cream. Eat one less ball of it.

      Whatever it is, you need to start small. Starting big always leads to failure. It has to, because it’s not sustainable.

      Start small. How small? The amount needs to be in your comfort zone. So if you think that reading 20 pages of a book is a bit too much, start with 10 or 5.

      It needs to appear easy and be easy to do.

      Do less today to do more in a year.

      2. Stay Small

      There is a notion of Kaizen which means continuous improvement. They use this notion in habits where they tell you to start with reading 1 page of a book a day and then gradually increase the amount you do over time.

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      But the problem with this approach is the end line — where the “improvement” stops.

      If I go from reading 1 page of a book a day and gradually reach 75 and 100, when do I stop? When I reach 1 book a day? That is just absurd.

      When you start a habit, stay at it in the intensity you have decided. Don’t push yourself for more.

      I started reading 20 pages of a book a day. It’s been more than 2 years now and I’ve read 101 books in that period. There is no way I will increase the number in the future.

      Why?

      Because reading 40 to 50 books a year is enough.

      The same thing applies to every other habit out there.

      Pick a (small) number and stay at it.

      3. Bad Days Are 100 Percent Occurrence

      No matter how great you are, you will have bad days where you won’t do your habit. Period.

      There is no way of going around this. So it’s better to prepare yourself for when that happens instead of thinking that it won’t ever happen.

      What I do when I miss a day of my habit(s) is that I try to bounce back the next day while trying to do habits for both of those days.

      Example for that is if I read 20 pages of a book a day and I miss a day, the next day I will have to read 40 pages of a book. If I miss writing 500 words, the next day I need to write 1000.

      This is a really important point we will discuss later on rewards and punishments.

      This is how I prepare for the bad days when I skip my habit(s) and it’s a model you should take as well.

      4. Those Who Track It, Hack It

      When you track an activity, you can objectively tell what you did in the past days, weeks, months, and years. If you don’t track, you will for sure forget everything you did.

      There are many different ways you can track your activities today, from Habitica to a simple Excel sheet that I use, to even a Whatsapp Tracker.

      Peter Drucker said,

      “What you track is what you do.”

      So track it to do it — it really helps.

      But tracking is accompanied by one more easy activity — measuring.

      5. Measure Once, Do Twice

      Peter Drucker also said,

      “What you measure is what you improve.”

      So alongside my tracker, I have numbers with which I measure doses of daily activities:

      For reading, it’s 20 pages.
      For writing, it’s 500 words.
      For the gym, it’s 1 (I went) or 0 (didn’t go).
      For budgeting, it’s writing down the incomes and expenses.

      Tracking and measuring go hand in hand, they take less than 20 seconds a day but they create so much momentum that it’s unbelievable.

      6. All Days Make a Difference

      Will one day in the gym make you fit? It won’t.

      Will two? They won’t.

      Will three? They won’t.

      Which means that a single gym session won’t make you fit. But after 100 gym sessions, you will look and feel fit.

      What happened? Which one made you fit?

      The answer to this (Sorites paradox)[1] is that no single gym session made you fit, they all did.

      No single day makes a difference, but when combined, they all do. So trust the process and keep on going (small).

      7. They Are Never Fully Automated

      Gurus tell you that habits become automatic. And yes, some of them do, like showering a certain way of brushing your teeth.

      But some habits don’t become automatic, they become a lifestyle.

      What I mean by that is that you won’t automatically “wake up” in the gym and wonder how you got there.

      It will just become a part of your lifestyle.

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      The difference is that you do the first one automatically, without conscious thought, while the other is a part of how you live your life.

      It’s not automatic, but it’s a decision you don’t ponder on or think about — you simply do it.

      It will become easy at a certain point, but they will never become fully automated.

      8. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

      Marshall Goldsmith has a great book with the same title to it. The phrase means that sometimes, you will need to ditch certain habits to make room for other ones which will bring you to the next step.

      Don’t be afraid to evolve your habits when you sense that they don’t bring you where you want to go.

      When I started reading, it was about reading business and tactic books. But two years into it, I switched to philosophy books which don’t teach me anything “applicable,” but instead teach me how to think.

      The most important ability of the 21st century is the ability to learn, unlearn, and relearn. The strongest tree is the willow tree – not because it has the strongest root or biggest trunk, but because it is flexible enough to endure and sustain anything.

      Be like a willow, adapting to the new ways of doing things.

      9. Set a Goal and Then Forget It

      The most successful of us know what they want to achieve, but they don’t focus on it.

      Sounds paradoxical? You’re right, it does. But here is the logic behind it.

      You need to have a goal of doing something – “I want to become a healthy individual” – and then, you need to reverse engineer how to get there with your habits- “I will go to the gym four times a week.”

      But once you have your goal, you need to “forget” about it and only focus on the process. Because you are working on the process of becoming healthy and it’s always in the making. You will only be as healthy as you take care of your body.

      So you have a goal which isn’t static but keeps on moving.

      If you went to the gym 150 times year and you hit your goal, what would you do then? You would stop going to the gym.

      This is why goal-oriented people experience yo-yo effect[2] and why process-oriented people don’t.

      The difference between process-oriented and goal-oriented people is that the first focus on daily actions while others only focus on the reward at the finish line.

      Set a goal but then forget about it and reap massive awards.

      10. Punish Yourself

      Last two sections are pure Pavlovian – you need to punish bad behavior and reward good behavior. You are the only person who decides what is good and what is bad for you, but when you do, you need to rigorously follow that.

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      I’ve told you in point #3 about bad days and how after one occurs, I do double the work on the next day. That is one of my forms of punishments.

      It’s the need to tell your brain that certain behaviors are unacceptable and that they lead to bad outcomes. That’s what punishments are for.

      You want to tell your brain that there are real consequences to missing your daily habits.[3]

      No favorite food to eat or favorite show to watch or going to the cinema for a new Marvel movie- none, zero, zilch.

      The brain will remember these bad feelings and will try to avoid the behaviors that led to them as much as possible.

      But don’t forget the other side of the same coin.

      11. Reward Yourself

      When you follow and execute on your plan, reward yourself. It’s how the brain knows that you did something good.

      Whenever I finish one of my habits for the day, I open my tracker (who am I kidding, I always keep it open on my desktop) and fill it with a number. As soon as I finish reading 20 pages of a book a day (or a bit more), I open the tracker and write the number down.

      The cell becomes green and gives me an instant boost of endorphin – a great success for the day. Then, it becomes all about not breaking the chain and having as many green fields as possible.

      After 100 days, I crunch some numbers and see how I did.

      If I have less than 10 cheat days, I reward myself with a great meal in a restaurant. You can create your own rewards and they can be daily, weekly, monthly or any arbitrary time table that you create.

      Primoz Bozic, a productivity coach, has gold, silver, and bronze medals as his reward system.[4]

      If you’re having problems creating a system which works for you, contact me via email and we can discuss specifics.

      In the End, It Matters

      What you do matters not only to you but to the people around you.

      When you increase the quality of your life, you indirectly increase the quality of life of people around you. And sometimes, that is all the “motivation” we need to start.

      And that’s the best quote for the end of this article:

      “Motivation gets you started, but habits keep you going.”

      Keep going.

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      More Resources to Help You Build Habits

      Featured photo credit: Anete Lūsiņa via unsplash.com

      Reference

      [1] Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy: Sorites paradox
      [2] Muscle Zone: What causes yo-yo effect and how to avoid it?
      [3] Growth Habits: 5 Missteps That Cause You To Quit Building A Habit
      [4] Primoz Bozic: The Lean Review: How to Plan Your 2019 in 20 Minutes

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