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10 Toxic Things Unsuccessful People Do That You Need To Avoid

10 Toxic Things Unsuccessful People Do That You Need To Avoid

You may have heard someone boil down the difference being between successful and unsuccessful as just one or two things. This is untrue. There is a gaping chasm with many twists, turns, crevices, and other hazardous things between being successful and unsuccessful. Here are 10 things that unsuccessful people do that you need to avoid.

1. They fear change.

Change is something that needs to happen. Afterall, going from unsuccessful at life to successful is, in and of itself, a change. In order to make one change, you must make other changes. Don’t be afraid of moving to a new city. Don’t be afraid to change your work and/or life habits. Unsuccessful people try to keep everything the same all the time because that is within their comfort zone. If you’re going to be successful, you need to get out of your comfort zone and get into the habit of changing the bad things in your life.

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things unsuccessful people do

    2. They blame others for their failure.

    If something bad happens, you should be accepting responsibility for it. Now, there are some circumstances where it is someone else’s fault and those times you have to roll with the punches. However, in most cases, bad things happen as a result of something you did. If you didn’t get that promotion, you either didn’t try enough or you didn’t make your effort known to those who matter. We’re not saying you’re a failure because something bad happened to you, because bad things happen to everyone. However, accepting responsibility for the bad things that happen to you can help prevent fewer bad things from happening to you.

    3. They do not set goals.

    If you don’t set goals, how do you expect to reach greatness? Unsuccessful people try too hard to go with the flow and see what happens. That’s a poor way to conduct your entire life. People need goals in order to succeed, and unsuccessful people are generally not striving to be anything more than what they already are.

    4. They get distracted every day.

    Tomorrow is always the time to get things done. You’ll hear unsuccessful people say things like, “I’ll stop smoking. Tomorrow.” Today is the day and now is the time. It’s never too soon to change your life. If you’re sitting around watching TV or playing video games for six to eight hours a day, you’re not making any improvements.

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    5. They don’t appreciate anything.

    Unsuccessful people simply don’t show any gratitude. No one ever became a somebody alone. You may have heard some rap stars say that they rose from poverty by themselves. That is nonsense. They rose from poverty with the help and support from hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of fans. When you do well at work, it’s partially because the other people at your work do their jobs and allow you to do yours better. No one owes you anything and no one has to help you, but they do anyway. Thank them. This can also be construed as having a sense of entitlement. You know who likes people who act entitled? No one.

    6. They stop learning.

    The day someone stops learning is the day they sabotage their future. There is an infinite amount of things out there to learn and knowledge is power. The more you know, the better you do and the better you do, the more successful you become. If you think you know all there is to know or all that you need to know, think again. Successful people never stop learning because the next lesson may be the one that helps them achieve even greater success.

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    things unsuccessful people do

      7. They operate on a transactional perspective

      There are a lot of big words here, but this is actually a fairly simple premise. People who act this way always expect something in return for something they do. When they do a favor, they expect a favor in return. If they loan you money, they expect you to loan them money some day. If they do your job one day, they expect you to do their job another day. This is a bad way to live because you’ll only ever be as good as your favors. Also, a lot of people call this “helping”. It’s not helping if you expect something in return.

      8. They’re always angry–usually at other people.

      Unsuccessful people are angry because they are unsuccessful. They’re stressed out, angry, and they take it out on the world instead of finding solutions to their problems. If you see someone who would rather rant and rave than find a solution, then you’ve run into someone who is not interested in becoming successful. Keep in mind that being wealthy does not equate to being successful. Successful people find solutions and are generally happier for it.

      9. They say they do things that they don’t do.

      There are a lot of people out there who do this. If you haven’t done something, then you should own up to it. No one has done everything and it’s not a sign of weakness to admit that you don’t do something. When you say you’ve done everything, people will either believe you and you’ll end up in a position that is way over your head which will cause you to fail, or you’ll end up around a bunch of people who never believe a word you say. Humility is a positive character trait.

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      10. They hoard information and data.

      This one is more abstract in practice but simple in theory. Caring is sharing. When we were all little kids, our teachers tried to teach us that sharing is important. People who hoard important information and data to empower themselves are destined for failure because the other people who need to know this information do not. When they don’t know, they fail and, as we discussed earlier, when the people around you fail, you fail. Successful people share information because when the information is on the table, everyone uses it to be successful. If they’re successful, your odds of becoming successful are much higher.

      There is a gaping chasm between being successful and unsuccessful. There are a billion ways that someone can be unsuccessful, but there are far fewer ways to be successful. Find those ways, live them, and be the person you know you’re capable of being.

      Featured photo credit: winston-churchill-failure-success-quote/Matt McWilliams via mattmcwilliams.com

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      Joseph Hindy

      A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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      Last Updated on November 15, 2019

      How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

      How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

      Habits are hard to kill, and rightly so. They are a part and parcel of your personality traits and mold your character.

      However, habits are not always something over-the-top and quirky enough to get noticed. Think of subtle habits like tapping fingers when you are nervous and humming songs while you drive. These are nothing but ingrained habits that you may not realize easily.

      Just take a few minutes and think of something specific that you do all the time. You will notice how it has become a habit for you without any explicit realization. Everything you do on a daily basis starting with your morning routine, lunch preferences to exercise routines are all habits.

      Habits mostly form from life experiences and certain observed behaviors, not all of them are healthy. Habitual smoking can be dangerous to your health. Similarly, a habit could also make you lose out on enjoying something to its best – like how some people just cannot stop swaying their bodies when delivering a speech.

      Thus, there could be a few habits that you would want to change about yourself. But changing habits is not as easy as it seems, why?

      What Makes It Hard To Change A Habit?

      To want to change a particular habit means to change something very fundamental about your behavior.[1] Hence, it’s necessary to understand how habits actually form and why they are so difficult to actually get out of.

      The Biology

      Habits form in a place what we call the subconscious mind in our brain.[2]

      Our brains have two modes of operation. The first one is an automatic pilot kind of system that is fast and works on reflexes often. It is what we call the subconscious part. This is the part that is associated with everything that comes naturally to you.

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      The second mode is the conscious mode where every action and decision is well thought out and follows a controlled way of thinking.

      A fine example to distinguish both would be to consider yourself learning to drive or play an instrument. For the first time you try learning, you think before every movement you make. But once you have got the hang of it, you might drive without applying much thought into it.

      Both systems work together in our brains at all times. When a habit is formed, it moves from the conscious part to the subconscious making it difficult to control.

      So, the key idea in deconstructing a habit is to go from the subconscious to the conscious.

      Another thing you have to understand about habits is that they can be conscious or hidden.

      Conscious habits are those that require active input from your side. For instance, if you stop setting your alarm in the morning, you will stop waking up at the same time.

      Hidden habits, on the other hand, are habits that we do without realizing. These make up the majority of our habits and we wouldn’t even know them until someone pointed them out. So the first difficulty in breaking these habits is to actually identify them. As they are internalized, they need a lot of attention to detail for self-identification. That’s not all.

      Habits can be physical, social, and mental, energy-based and even be particular to productivity. Understanding them is necessary to know why they are difficult to break and what can be done about them.

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      The Psychology

      Habits get engraved into our memories depending on the way we think, feel and act over a particular period of time. The procedural part of memory deals with habit formation and studies have observed that various types of conditioning of behavior could affect your habit formations.

      Classical conditioning or pavlovian conditioning is when you start associating a memory with reality.[3] A dog that associates ringing bell to food will start salivating. The same external stimuli such as the sound of church bells can make a person want to pray.

      Operant conditioning is when experience and the feelings associated with it form a habit.[4] By encouraging or discouraging an act, individuals could either make it a habit or stop doing it.

      Observational learning is another way habits could take form. A child may start walking the same way their parent does.

      What Can You Do To Change a Habit?

      Sure, habits are hard to control but it is not impossible. With a few tips and hard-driven dedication, you can surely get over your nasty habits.

      Here are some ways that make use of psychological findings to help you:

      1. Identify Your Habits

      As mentioned earlier, habits can be quite subtle and hidden from your view. You have to bring your subconscious habits to an aware state of mind. You could do it by self-observation or by asking your friends or family to point out the habit for your sake.

      2. Find out the Impact of Your Habit

      Every habit produces an effect – either physical or mental. Find out what exactly it is doing to you. Does it help you relieve stress or does it give you some pain relief?

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      It could be anything simple. Sometimes biting your nails could be calming your nerves. Understanding the effect of a habit is necessary to control it.

      3. Apply Logic

      You don’t need to be force-fed with wisdom and advice to know what an unhealthy habit could do to you.

      Late-night binge-watching just before an important presentation is not going to help you. Take a moment and apply your own wisdom and logic to control your seemingly nastily habits.

      4. Choose an Alternative

      As I said, every habit induces some feeling. So, it could be quite difficult to get over it unless you find something else that can replace it. It can be a simple non-harming new habit that you can cultivate to get over a bad habit.

      Say you have the habit of banging your head hard when you are angry. That’s going to be bad for you. Instead, the next time you are angry, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Or maybe start imagining yourself on a luxury yacht. Just think of something that will work for you.

      5. Remove Triggers

      Get rid of items and situations that can trigger your bad habit.

      Stay away from smoke breaks if you are trying to quit it. Remove all those candy bars from the fridge if you want to control your sweet cravings.

      6. Visualize Change

      Our brains can be trained to forget a habit if we start visualizing the change. Serious visualization is retained and helps as a motivator in breaking the habit loop.

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      For instance, to replace your habit of waking up late, visualize yourself waking up early and enjoying the early morning jog every day. By continuing this, you would naturally feel better to wake up early and do your new hobby.

      7. Avoid Negative Talks and Thinking

      Just as how our brain is trained to accept a change in habit, continuous negative talk and thinking could hamper your efforts put into breaking a habit.

      Believe you can get out of it and assert yourself the same.

      Final Thoughts

      Changing habits isn’t easy, so do not expect an overnight change!

      Habits took a long time to form. It could take a while to completely break out of it. You will have to accept that sometimes you may falter in your efforts. Don’t let negativity seep in when it seems hard. Keep going at it slowly and steadily.

      More About Changing Habits

      Featured photo credit: Mel via unsplash.com

      Reference

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