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10 Common Excuses In Your Head That Are Dragging You Down

10 Common Excuses In Your Head That Are Dragging You Down

“He that is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”
― Benjamin Franklin

I used to be my own worst enemy and making excuses was part of my everyday routine.  It wasn’t until I learned to take full responsibility for my life that my outlook, and results, started to change. When I finally realized that what I was experiencing in my life was a product of my choices I became emotionally empowered to make changes – but a change had to first start internally before I could experience any external results.

I believe that the habit of “making excuses” was, at least in part, motivated from a disempowering story that I had in my head about how life was supposed to be, and what I was capable of doing.  The stories that we believe have the power to define us – they become our reality.  If we create an empowering story about life, and what we will do with it, it will become our reality.  However, if we cannot change our story, and if a negative narrative consumes us, it will drag us down and create a reality that we don’t want.

Our negative stories don’t inspire us, they don’t help us to reach our potential or break through our fears. They keep us safe, but it isn’t a good safe.  It is a safe that is unsettling because we aren’t living what we could otherwise live if we’d take risks.

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This article will list 10 “common excuses” that we tell ourselves that drag us down – 10 “narratives” or “stories” that we need to change if we are going to live the life that we are truly proud of.

1. I have no qualifications, so I can’t earn a decent income.

If you believe this it’s likely that you’ve been conditioned to think that your schooling controls your income.  This just isn’t the case.  Look around – you will find many examples of people who built great businesses without much school.  Sure there are the famous examples (Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Richard Branson), but there are many more much closer to home. Take 10 entrepreneurs out for lunch, you’ll likely find that several of them either don’t have education, or have built a business in an area outside of their schooling.  You can get the knowledge you need to succeed.

2. I’m too old to start.

Really?  Do you really believe that, or is that just an excuse you’re telling yourself so that you don’t have to face the risk of failure.  There is no such thing as too old. Ever heard of a guy named Harlan Sanders?  Most people know him as the “Colonel”.  He didn’t start KFC until 66.  Stan Lee, creator of Spider-Man, he was 43 when he began drawing his characters and his partner Jack Kirby was 44 when he created The Fantastic Four.  Andrea Bocelli didn’t do opera until the age of 34.  Phyllis Diller became a comedian at the age of 37. You are not too old.  If you want it bad enough you’ll find a way to start.

3. I’m worried that everyone will laugh at me.

Being liked by everyone is both impossible and overrated.  If you want everyone to like you then just do nothing.  That way you’ll never possibly offend anyone.  It is better to risk failure than to never try.  Many (most) great people have failed, and every entrepreneur will fail at some point.  It is part of the feedback mechanism.  It is the way you learn to change your actions.  You only ultimately fail if you quit.

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4. I’m too busy.

So is everyone else.  I know it is tough.  I know that it can be tiring, working long hours at your job and trying to get that book written, or that business started, but the reality is that there is someone else, who has gone before you, that was under the exact same circumstances (perhaps even more difficult circumstances) as you and they don’t make this excuse.  They find a way to get it done, even a little at a time.

5. I’m waiting for the right time.

The right time was probably several years ago.  The second best time is right now.  There is nothing else.  A couple years from now will be no different.  There will always be resistance and things that get in your way.  So you make a decision right now to live, to make a change, to build whatever it is that is in your heart.  Right now is the best time there ever was.

We never live; we are always in the expectation of living

Voltaire

6. It’s too difficult.

Everything worth having is difficult – but there is a way to conquer any mountain, it is to take one step at a time. One foot in front of the other, over and over, until the mountain is conquered.  Chunk it.  Break your big, scary, difficult goals down into small bite sized chunks and complete a chunk every single day until the goal is complete.  That is the only way to do difficult things.

7. They made it because they’re different.

That is a story that you are telling yourself to guard against the unsettling reality that you’re probably not doing all that is in your power to succeed.  If you really want something bad enough you’ll find a way to do it.  You won’t settle on an excuse that you know deep down just isn’t true.  Our world is full of rags to riches stories – people who had nothing to begin with, but who wouldn’t allow excuses to define their reality.  Howard Schultz (Starbucks) lived in low income housing. Oprah Winfrey was born into a poor family in Mississippi.  Ralph Lauren was once a clerk at a Brooks Brothers store.  No matter what your circumstances are you can change them.

8. I’ve already put a lot of time in a different path

Is it the path that you want to be on?  If not, then who cares?  First of all, it is a sunk cost, so it shouldn’t factor into your future decision making. I know this one from first hand experience, I went to school for nearly a decade and spend over a hundred thousand dollars to become a lawyer.  But I didn’t want to be a lawyer, so I couldn’t let my “time on a different path” define the future I wanted to created.  If you don’t want to be on the path you are on then change it.

9. I don’t know where to start.

None of us know where to start when we begin.  So what do you do?  You find someone who knows (someone who has experience in your field), you figure out what they did, and then you take the same action.  At least to start, and over time you develop your own unique voice.  If you can’t find anyone who will give you the time of day, go to the Internet, a couple search engine queries and you’ll be able to find an article about someone who did something similar to what you want to do.  Read their story, and take similar action.  Once you’ve done 5 things, then find another 5, then another 5, then keep taking action until you get what you want.

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10. It’s all about who you know, and I don’t know anyone.

This is a common excuse that isn’t serving you, and it isn’t true.  Leonardo Del Vecchio, the owner of the world’s largest sunglass manufacturer, with brands like Oakley and Ray Ban, was born into an orphanage.   Do you think he relied on his “family connections” to get going?  Legendary financial trader George Soros survived the Nazi occupation of Hungary and arrived in London as a penniless college student. Larry Ellison, one of the richest men in the world was raised by a single mother in Brooklyn. It wasn’t his connections that helped him.  Jerry Yang, the founder of Yahoo, was an immigrant from Taiwan who didn’t even know english when he came to the US.

Start today.  Eliminate those excuses that you are carrying in your head.  They aren’t serving you.  They aren’t empowering you.  They aren’t helping you live the life you want. They don’t need to define you.

More by this author

Ryan Clements

A lawyer turned marketing professional, entrepreneur and writer who writes about entrepreneurship, career and personal development.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

What Is Creativity? We All Have It, and Need It

What Is Creativity? We All Have It, and Need It

Do you think of yourself as a creative person? Do you play the drums or do watercolor paintings? Perhaps compose songs or direct plays? Can you even relate to any of these so called ‘creative’ experiences? Growing up, did you ever have that ‘artistic’ sibling or friend who excelled in drawing, playing instruments or literature? And you maybe wondered why you can’t even compose a birthday card greeting–or that drawing stick figures is the furthest you’ll ever get to drawing a family portrait. Many people have this common assumption that creativity is an inborn talent; only a special group of people are inherently creative, and everyone else just unfortunately does not have that special ability. You either have that creative flair or instinct, or you don’t. But, this is far from the truth! So what is creativity?

Can I Be Creative?

The fact is, that everyone has an innate creative ability. Despite what most people may think, creativity is a skill that everyone can learn and hone on. It’s a skill with huge leverage that allows you to generate enormous amounts of value from relatively little input. How is that so? You’ll have to start by expanding your definition of creativity. Ironically, you have to be creative and ‘think out of the box’ with the definition! Creativity at its heart, is being able to see things in a way that others cannot. It’s a skill that helps you find new perspectives to create new possibilities and solutions to different problems. So, if you encounter different challenges and problems that need solving on a regular basis, then creativity is an invaluable skill to have.Let’s say, for example, that you work in sales. Having creativity will help you to look for new ways to approach and reach out to potential customers. Or perhaps you’re a teacher. In this role you have to constantly look for new ways to deliver your message and educate your students.

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How Creativity Works

Let me break another misconception about creativity, which is that it’s only used to create completely “new” or “original” things. Again, this is far from the truth. Because nothing is ever completely new or original. Everything, including works of art, doesn’t come from nothing. Everything derives from some sort of inspiration. That means that creativity works by connecting things together in order to derive new meaning or value.From this perspective, you can see a lot of creativity in action. In technology, Apple combines traditional computers with design and aesthetics to create new ways to use digital products. In music, a musician may be inspired by various styles of music, instruments and rhythms to create an entirely new type of song. All of these examples are about connecting different ideas, finding common ground amongst the differences, and creating a completely new idea out of them.

What Really Is Creativity?

Creativity Needs an Intention

Another misconception about the creative process is that you can just be in a general “creative” state. Real creativity isn’t about coming up with “eureka!” moments for random ideas. Instead, to be truly creative, you need to have a direction. You have to ask yourself this question: “What problem am I trying to solve?” Only by knowing the answer to this question can you start flexing your creativity muscles. Often times, the idea of creativity is associated with the ‘Right’ brain, with intuition and imagination. Hence a lot of focus is placed on the ‘Right’ brain when it comes to creativity. But, to get the most out of creativity, you need to utilize both sides of your brain–Right and Left–which means using the analytical and logical part of your brain, too. This may sound surprising to you, but creativity has a lot to do with problem solving. And, problem solving inherently involves logic and analysis. So instead of throwing out the ‘Left’ brain, full creativity needs them to work in unison. For example, when you’re looking for new ideas, your ‘Left’ brain will guide you to a place of focus, which is based on your objective behind the ideas you’re searching for. The ‘Right’ brain then guides you to gather and explore based on your current focus. And when you decide to try out these new ideas, your ‘Right’ brain will give you novel solutions outside of the ones you already know. Your ‘Left’ brain then helps you evaluate and tune the solutions to work better in practice. So, logic and creativity actually work hand in hand, and not one at the expense of the other.

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Creativity Is a Skill

At the end of the day, creativity is a skill. It’s not some innate or natural born talent that some have over others. What this means is that creativity and innovation can be practiced and improved upon systematically.A skill can be learned and practiced by applying your strongest learning styles. Want to know what your learning style is? Try this test. A skill can be measured and improved through a Feedback Loop, and can be continuously upgraded over time by regular practice. Through regular practice, your creativity goes through different stages of proficiency. This means that you can become more and more creative! If you never thought that creativity was relevant to you, or that you don’t have a knack for being creative… think again! You can use creativity in any aspect of your life. In fact you should use it, as it will allow you to to break through your usual loop, get you out of your comfort zone, and inspire you to grow and try new things. Creativity will definitely give you an edge when you’re trying to solve a problem or come up with new solutions.

Start Connecting the Dots

Excited to start honing your creativity? Here at Lifehack, we’ve got a wealth of knowledge to help you get started. We understand that creativity is a matter of connecting things together in order to derive new meaning or value. So, if you want to learn how to start connecting the dots, check out these tips:

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Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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