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10 So-called Personality Flaws That Will Make You Highly Successful

10 So-called Personality Flaws That Will Make You Highly Successful

Do people call you eccentric or different?

Maybe they get angry with some of the things that you do. Maybe they don’t agree with them. You begin to question yourself and wonder if there’s something wrong with you.

But many great people in history have had so called “flaws” that have actually sky-rocketed them to success. Perhaps you might identify with some of these.

1. You get obsessed with things easily

Obsession can be dangerous if left unchecked. It’s great to love something, but when you begin to lose sleep, relationships, and your health to it, that’s an issue.

But obsession with something can also be a powerful force. Nobody ever achieved something by “kind of liking” it. They believed in it with all their heart. They knew that if anybody was going to make it happen, it had to be them.

And so you to are obsessed with something. Perhaps it’s music, writing, a hobby, a passion, but that obsession will drive you to success.

2. You rely on other people for support in your goals

There is a large movement in society today to be an individual. Yes, it’s great to “be yourself” and chart your own path. But that doesn’t mean you don’t need the help of others to get there.

Getting to the top is great, but what if nobody is there to celebrate with you when you finally get there?

It’d be a very lonely place.

Every single great person, from Martin Luther King Jr. to Richard Branson, needed and accepted help. And you doing the same is a great thing. You propel yourself to success but you understand others will help you get there.

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You don’t default to them and assume that they will do everything for you, but you let them give you some speed – whether that’s as a business contact, an intimate relationship, or otherwise, you understand people can and are necessary to help you.

3. You are stubborn and refuse to quit. You are OK with failing . . . a lot.

Unsuccessful people hit a road bump or fail and give up. Successful people keep failing and keep going, because they know it leads to the reward at the end. About inventing the lighbulb, Thomas Edison is famous for saying, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

So go ahead – be stubborn. Keep trying until you get what you want.

“But you failed, doesn’t that hurt?” people ask.

“Nope,” you respond. “It just means I need to try something else.”

4. You may have introverted tendencies

In Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, Susan Cain talks about how society is extravert focused – big open offices for working, bars for meeting people. These are all great for extroverts to shine, but not introverts.

And so when an introverted person needs time alone to work, or is quiet and listens in a conversation compared to being a chatterbox, or prefers reading a book at home to going out, they are thought of as weird, depressed, or anti-social.

Or, maybe after they go to a party and then need time to re-charge (as socializing, talking, and the outside world is a HUGE drain on introverts), they decline social invites and their friends get mad at them.

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, and some amazing people belong to that category. Abraham Lincoln, Bill Gates, and Albert Einstein are just a few (see more here).

So go ahead – read that book. Just make sure to get some outside air once in a while. Introverts thrive in extroverted environments sometimes BETTER than extroverts at times, if they’ve had time to recharge in their own world.

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5. You follow a different path, and care less about what people think

Society pushes you to follow a specific path – elementary/high school, university, 9-5 job, marriage, 2.5 kids, work 40+ years, retire around 65, live until somewhere in the 70+ range and then pass on.

You see people posting to Facebook, Twitter, etc. for validation. You think, “What’s the point? Why do I need to constantly tell people what I’m doing?”

And you don’t agree. You want to go become a monk for 3 months. You want to just scrape by in terms of salary and travel the world. You don’t want to ever get married.

Good. Carve your own path, and don’t listen to anyone else. There’s only one person you can make 100% happy 100% of the time:

You.

Nobody great ever became great by doing exactly what others did.

6. You put yourself and your time first in a manner some might call selfish or weird

Continuing on from the above, the actions you take may make people think you are a bit strange – not going out all the time, not getting a specific job, not taking the swankiest apartment, saying no to helping a billion people so you have time to yourself.

The most valuable asset you have is not your money, but your time. Time is gone once it passes, so go ahead, be selfish. If someone is not deserving of your time and energy, leave. If something is not deserving of the time either, don’t do it.

Be ruthless.

7. You are OK with making others angry, sad, or unhappy with you

And so as you follow a different path and put yourself first, people become upset with you. Maybe you make your Mom sad by not being at home as much as you travel the world. Maybe you leave a relationship behind to continue a business. Maybe you hold your boundaries on a deal you agreed upon with a business partner and demand terms be met.

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Well keep going.

You don’t intentionally want to make people unhappy, you just hold your personal boundaries and know there’s nothing you can do to force people to feel great about your choices. And you are OK and accepting of this.

8. You see the positive in everything and shirk most of the negative (or aren’t as affected by it)

Assuming everything is OK when things need to be taken care of is unhealthy.

For example, not having a place to live and running out of money living in hotels and saying, “Oh I believe it will come to me if I just think of good things” is ludicrous. It’s the same as not having a job and needing an income. Or, being single but wanting to date.

However, what is healthy is to focus on all the opportunities and positivity that is out there:

“I don’t have a place to live, but I can put time into finding one, and I have money to support myself for now.”

“There are tons of places to look for jobs. I’m qualified and highly educated, so if I send out some CVs and ask some of my contacts I’m sure I can find something.”

“There are hundreds of people around me every day, I should try talking to them. Or, I can sign up for online dating services. There’s lots of people out there looking for someone just like I am!”

If all you think are negative thoughts, all you get are negative emotions. Successful people process challenging or negative situations and may get sad or angry, but are quick to turn the situation into a positive and take affirmative action.

Some say you should be chained down by misery and problems. You say you should take decisive action but continue to enjoy life. You understand that it’s worth learning how to be happier.

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9. You over-prepare a tiny bit

On a trip, you bring medicine just in case. For a business proposal, you have an alternative idea or budget in case your boss shoots it down. If the restaurant is closed, you know of another one nearby.

You might be a bit anxious, and you’re OK with thinking on your feet. But you prefer planning in advance to deal with possible situations.

People say you over-complicate a bit, and sometimes this is true. But most of the time you have the last laugh when things go over smoothly because you had the foresight to plan. And foresight, is the name of the game when it come to success.

10. You move slower than everyone else

People rush to get a billion things done in a day: see 50 travel sites, talk to as many people as they can, go to 10 parties.

You don’t understand this.

Not only does moving slower allow you to do things better, but you enjoy life more and aren’t running around with high blood pressure all the time.

You accept you can only do a finite number of things during the day, talk to a certain amount of people, and do a certain amount of stuff and work to the best of your ability to accomplish these goals.

You believe in quality over quantity, and it shows in the rich fabric you weave in the story that is your life.

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

Invaluable Lessons You Can Learn From Your Mistakes

Invaluable Lessons You Can Learn From Your Mistakes

Do you like making mistakes?

I certainly don’t.

Making mistakes is inevitable. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could be at ease with them?

Perhaps there is a way to think of them differently and see their benefits.

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Why Mistakes Feel Dangerous

Mistakes often feel dangerous. Throughout human history, our errors have often been treated as dangerous for a variety of reasons:

  • Our vulnerability. We have limited and fragile support systems. When those systems fail, people often lose their lives.
  • Real dangers. Nature can be dangerous, and making mistakes can put us at the mercy of nature and its animal residents seeking a meal.
  • Ignorance. Many cultures scapegoats someone whenever there is a failure of some kind. Scapegoating can be serious and deadly.
  • Order. Many societies punish those who do not conform to the prevailing orthodoxy and treat difference and non-conformity as a mistake. Even our brains flash an error message whenever we go against prevailing social norms.

We have a history of handling mistakes and failure in an unpleasant way. Since each of us carries our human history with us, it can be a challenge to overcome the fear of making mistakes.

If we can embrace the reality of mistakes, we can free ourselves to be more creative in our lives and dig up some interesting insights.

Why We Can’t Avoid Making Mistakes

Many people operate under the notion that making mistakes is an aberration, a mistake if you will. You can call it perfectionism but it is a more substantial problem. It is really a demand for order and continuity.

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When we think we can eliminate mistakes, we are often working from a perspective that sees the world as a fixed place. The world, however, is not so obliging. Like it or not, the world, and everything in it, is constantly changing.

Change is more constant and pervasive than we can see with our own eyes which is why we often miss it. Our bodies are constantly changing. The natural conditions of the earth change constantly as well. Everything, including economic and cultural systems have life cycles. Everything is in a constant state of flux.

We cannot see all of the changes going on around us since rates of change vary. Unfortunately, when we try to create a feeling of certainty and solidity in our lives or operate from the illusion of stability and order, we are fighting reality and our natural evolution which is built on adapting to change.

It is better to continually bend into this reality rather than fight every change we experience. Fighting it can cause us to make more mistakes. Finding the benefits in change can be useful and help us minimize unnecessary mistakes.

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Lessons Learned from Making Mistakes

Life has so many uncertainties and variables that mistakes are inevitable. Fortunately, there are many things you can learn from making mistakes.

Here is a list of ways to harness the mistakes you make for your benefit.

  1. Point us to something we did not know.
  2. Reveal a nuance we missed.
  3. Deepen our knowledge.
  4. Tell us something about our skill levels.
  5. Help us see what matters and what does not.
  6. Inform us more about our values.
  7. Teach us more about others.
  8. Let us recognize changing circumstances.
  9. Show us when someone else has changed.
  10. Keep us connected to what works and what doesn’t work.
  11. Remind us of our humanity.
  12. Spur us to want to better work which helps us all.
  13. Promote compassion for ourselves and others.
  14. Teach us to value forgiveness.
  15. Help us to pace ourselves better.
  16. Invite us to better choices.
  17. Can teach us how to experiment.
  18. Can reveal a new insight.
  19. Can suggest new options we had not considered.
  20. Can serve as a warning.
  21. Show us hidden fault lines in our lives which can lead us to more productive arrangements.
  22. Point out structural problems in our lives.
  23. Prompt us to learn more about ourselves.
  24. Remind us how we are like others.
  25. Make us more humble.
  26. Help us rectify injustices in our lives.
  27. Show us where to create more balance in our lives.
  28. Tell us when the time to move on has occurred.
  29. Reveal where our passion is and where it is not.
  30. Expose our true feelings.
  31. Bring out problems in a relationship.
  32. Can be a red flag for our misjudgments.
  33. Point us in a more creative direction.
  34. Show us when we are not listening.
  35. Wake us up to our authentic selves.
  36. Can create distance with someone else.
  37. Slow us down when we need to.
  38. Can hasten change.
  39. Reveal our blind spots.
  40. Are the invisible made visible.

Reframe Reality to Handle Mistakes More Easily

The secret to handling mistakes is to:

  • Expect them as part of the process of growth and development.
  • Have an experimental mindset.
  • Think in evolutional rather than fixed terms.

When we accept change as the natural structure of the world, our vulnerability and humanness lets us work with the ebb and flow of life.

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When we recognize the inevitability of mistakes as part of the ongoing experiment which life is, then we can relax more. In doing so we may make fewer of them.

It also helps to keep in mind that trial and error is an organic natural way of living. It is how we have evolved over time. It is better to be with our natural evolution than to fight it and make life harder.

When we adopt an evolutional mindset and see ourselves as part of the ongoing human experiment, we can appreciate that all that has been built up over time which includes the many mistakes our ancestors have made over thousands of years. Each one of us today is a part of that human tradition of learning and experimenting,

Mistakes are part of the trial and error, experimental nature of life. The more you adopt the experimental, evolutional frame, the easier it becomes to handle mistakes.

Handling mistakes well can help you relax and enjoy all aspects of life more.

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Featured photo credit: Sarah Kilian via unsplash.com

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