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An Argument for Couples Keeping Their Financial Independence

An Argument for Couples Keeping Their Financial Independence

Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely…At some level, power exists in friendship, romance, marriage, and family.” — Guerrero, et al, “Close Encounters: Communications in Relationships”, p. 255

Financial independence among couples is one of the new issue many newly married couples are discussing. Despite the common thought that married couples should share conjugal rights to properties involving assets acquired before marriage, it can be a wise step if the couple remain financially independent. This does not mean encouraging financial secrecy towards each other, but encouraging freedom and autonomy to expenses. This is really important to maintain stability to the family’s expenses and for the future expenses (as the family grows). Here are the reasons why the couples should remain autonomous when it comes to finances:

1. It will allow the couple to adjust to the inter-dependency of expenses, especially if one or both were already financially independent before marriage.

Since marriage is about conjugal rights of both parties’ assets, etc., it is really important to have a smooth transition from single life to married life. In order to achieve that, in the first phase of the married life, the couple should respect the autonomy of one towards his/her expenses and what he/she wishes to spend to it. According to Kelly Long, a CPA at Shephard Schwartz & Harris LLP in Chicago, having separate accounts will allow two people who were independent financially before marriage a sense of autonomy as they slowly adjust to the couplehood.

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2. It will equally divide family expenses.

The couple is highly encouraged to have different bank accounts so as to divide the expenses needs fairly. Each one can re-check if finances are available and still stable and are still able to pay his/her part from the entire family expenses. In this way, the couple can agree with each other fairly to what they should be responsible paying for. In a couple, perhaps the other one has more income than the other or has more stable/fixed income than the other.

3. It will encourage responsibility regarding the wife/husband’s debts.

Since the couple has different bank accounts or separate finances/savings, etc., it will encourage the wife/husband to be responsible of paying her/his own debts. Thus, it also promotes discipline of each other towards the spending habits as well. As a result, it will be a more stable family life in terms of expenses and spending discipline. Moreover John Ulzheimer, President of Consumer Education at Smartcredit.com, says that getting into debt is a choice, not a coincidence/accident.

4. It promotes respect to each other in terms of spending habits.

By having different bank accounts, it can highly respect the differences of the habits of the other. For example, the wife may like Chanel bags or other expensive objects while the husband likes to have tools for carpentry, repairs, etc. In this manner, through having independence financially, they can have what they wish to have without harming the other by spending the partner’s money just for their items which he/she may not be agreeable towards.

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5. It keeps the relationship healthy.

Ideally, the couple married because they love each other.  However, if the they have unstable finances, it might affect each other’s relationship which later on develops to a more serious problem – Divorce. One manner which may help to avoid this is couples being highly encouraged to have separate accounts. This is according to Rosemary Frank, a certified Divorce Financial Analyst in Brentwood, Tennessee.

Possible problems if couples are highly dependent financially:

1. One person may lose their identity is such a relationship.

Because one is dependent on the other in terms of finances, it will also affect the way they behave and interrelate.

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2. It promotes inequality in the relationship.

It is really unhealthy for the couples to feel prejudice in some manner. It may be minor or may explode into something major.

3. It will put the wife/husband at high risk when circumstances change.

Loss of job in a single career family, is an example. If both incomes are dependent on one and the other partner doesn’t have resources, they family could be put in a bind during this time.

4. It impairs equal incentive as an individual.

This means that when the other one is financially dependent to his/her wife/husband, it may lessen the incentive of the other to earn and experience confidence and pride from also providing for the family monetarily.

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5. It explicitly shows dominance within relationships.

Because of the fact that the other one is unable to spend or to contribute toward the expenses in the family, the other one can easily show dominance over the other. This can cause one to feel demeaned and the other to feel burdened with responsibility.

A piece of advice to married couples:

Ruth Hayden, a financial educator and author in St. Paul, Minnesota, writes that there are many couples who think that they can be actually fair at all times in terms of finances, yet this is impossible. She advises couples to just be clear to their goals as a married couple and move on from there.

Featured photo credit: Dodgerton Skillhause via mrg.bz

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

30 Fun Things You Can Do This Summer Without Spending Much

30 Fun Things You Can Do This Summer Without Spending Much

Summertime can be a real strain on your wallet. The sun is out, there are people to see, places to be; it’s no wonder you might be short of funds during these sunny months. Not everything has to cost you an arm and a leg.

Take some time to go through this list of 20 cheap summer activities and make some realistic goals to complete as many as you can.

Video Summary

1. Visit a strawberry festival

Summer is prime time for tasting strawberries. More often than not, an area that grows strawberries will have a strawberry festival. Indulge yourself in strawberry pies, jams, cakes and more!

2. Have a picnic

Take your partner or your family to the local park and enjoy a relaxing picnic. Designate each person to bring one food item of their choice to add to the fun.

3. Camp in your back yard

    The summer heat can sometimes make it hard to sleep. Why not enjoy the heat outside in the yard? Pitch a tent or gaze into the night sky.

    4. Take long walks

    Discover something new where you live. Take the afternoon off from your chores and go for a long walk. You may be surprised by what you discover.

    5. Break a world record

    Breaking a world record doesn’t have to be time-consuming. You could even break one on your lunch hour. Give it a go!

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    6. Go on a bike ride

    The number of bike paths on roads in big cities has increased dramatically over the years. Take advantage, and enjoy the summer breeze.

    7. Join a gym class

      The gym is not everyone’s idea of a good time, but why not go with a friend a join a class? Spinning, yoga and step classes are always more fun with friends, and a lot of gyms allow you to pay-as-you-go.

      8. Find a new hobby

      The summer is the perfect time to find a new hobby. Serotonin (our body’s natural “happy” hormone) is produced by the sunshine and will be at a yearly high, which is great for when we want to tackle something new.

      9. Join a sports team

      Not all sports teams are competitive and require huge amounts of your time. Join in the fun with like-minded people, get fit, stay healthy and make some friends along the way.

      10. Make a slip ‘n slide

        Gather your friends, some plastic sheeting, a hose, washing up liquid if desired, and make a huge slip ‘n slide just like these guys. Granted, yours won’t be as big, but you get the idea… it’s fun!

        11. Make a treasure hunt for your kids

        Today’s digital world sees our children more often than not playing inside than outside. Why not create a sense of adventure by making a treasure hunt? Only rule? It has to be outside.

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        12. Visit a free festival

        Towns and cities are awash with free festivals, with themes from film to science. Scout your local area and discover something new.

        13. Visit the zoo

          Let’s face it: we love animals. While browsing news websites and social media networks you’re bound to come across a few pictures of cats. Take a trip to your local zoo for a better experience.

          14. Take a road trip

          Enjoy the open road with a few friends and take a road trip somewhere–anywhere. Just go out and enjoy the sunshine!

          15. Play ultimate frisbee in the park

            Frisbee is always great fun down the park, but why not turn it into more of a competitive sport by playing ultimate frisbee?

            16. Make your own ice cream

            Ice cream is a very versatile dessert. Make a sandwich, enjoy a cone, or simply just enjoy a bowl full. Better yet, making your own ice cream allows you to create any flavor you want.

            17. Invite your neighbors over for a BBQ

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              When was the last time you invited your neighbors over? Do you even know them? Now’s your chance. Just ask each person to bring a food item so costs don’t mount up for you.

              18. Get a summer job

              For many students, summer is the time for relaxation and fun. But who said earning money and being productive isn’t fun? You only get out what you put into a situation.

              19. Attend a charity event

              Attending a charity event is a great way to raise funds and awareness for a cause, meet new people, and generally have a good time. Search for your local charity event today.

              20. Visit a national park

              National parks are a great way to explore nature and learn something new. You could even volunteer and make a difference in helping restore natural habitats.

              21. Visit your local comedy club

                Local comedy clubs are extremely underrated. They are cheap to attend and no doubt you’ll have a barrel of laughs.

                22. Make your own hammock

                  Hammocks are very relaxing, are perfect for summer afternoons and are surprisingly easy to make.

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                  23. Read in your new hammock

                  Now you have your very own hammock, the only thing left to do is enjoy it. Grab your favorite book and read to your heart’s content.

                  24. Watch a movie outside

                  Movies are great. Relaxing outside in the evening is great. Put them together and you’ve got a perfect combination. In D.C, Maryland and Virginia this summer, for example, you can enjoy a huge number of movies outside.

                  25. Take a hike

                    Hikes are a great way to keep fit and see more of Mother Nature. There are countless trails available for you to explore. Why not try some this summer?

                    26. Learn how to fly a kite

                    As a child, you probably had a kite and haven’t touched it since. Why not dust it off and attempt to fly it? It’s tricky, but well worth the challenge.

                    27. Work out at the park

                    American cities are full of parks with ample space for a work out session. No doubt you’ll be happier to work out in the sun rather than a crowded gym.

                    28. Take your dog to the beach

                      One of the many joys of owning a dog is taking him or her for long walks during the summertime. This joy is enhanced when visiting the beach, for both you and your dog.

                      29. Make a summer smoothie

                      Healthy, delicious and perfect for the summer. Not only that, there are countless recipes ready for you to try.

                      30. Attend a free yoga session at the beach

                      No experience needed and all skill levels are welcome. Take yourself and a buddy down to the beach and try some yoga. You’ve got nothing to lose!

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