Advertising
Advertising

So You Think Your Child Has a Learning Difficulty? Top 10 Things That You Should Do Next

So You Think Your Child Has a Learning Difficulty? Top 10 Things That You Should Do Next

You’ll always remember the day you brought your bundle of joy home for the first time. Your heart and your head were full of wonderment and delight at this whole new person, all shiny and new and full of the promise of the life he or she would lead and of the person he or she would become.  Brain surgeon, lawyer, artist, writer, comedienne, self-help guru extraordinaire.  All these things were possibilities for the amazing masterpiece you somehow managed to create.  Many parents will remember the first smile, the first step and the first real words uttered as this tiny little person makes his way in life.  There are literally thousands of moments that a parent can look back on with pride as their own little creation moves from baby to toddler to child and even on into adulthood.

But what happens when there is a glitch somewhere along the developmental trajectory? What happens if your little bundle of joy is not sailing through her early childhood development?  What happens when your child’s classmates are ahead in school while your little one struggles in the classroom?  What happens if he does not grow out of it? What happens if your child has a learning difficulty? This is no longer just about school systems or lofty ideals of a pedagogical nature.  This is no longer about medical discussions on brain health you read on some self improvement forum years ago.  This is not about government policy on educational funding you heard about in the news and only half listened to.  This is much closer to home now.  This is your baby we’re talking about.

Learning difficulties and learning disabilities in children can be neurological in origin and can make it very hard for kids in the educational arena as well as in learning new skills in other domains. Having such a difficulty does not just impact on intellectual development, but it can also have negative implications for social and emotional development. However, if you suspect that your child has a learning difficulty and even though this difficulty may be biological in nature, this is not a life sentence. Here are some top tips from educational professionals on some concrete things that you can do to help.

couple talking

    1. Talk to your partner

    Or other relevant family member who has known your child since birth.  Sound out your fears with someone who knows your child well and loves them as much as you do (if that’s possible).  Check out whether or not what you are seeing and worrying about is being noticed by the other carers in your child’s life.  Perspective is everything and you should get more than one.  And while these perspectives may be somewhat biased, they are long term and they reflect your child’s entire history, not just what is happening right now in the classroom or on the playground.

    Advertising

    teacher and child

      2.Talk to your child’s teacher.

      While you may know your child better than any other person in the world, remember that your child’s teacher has a very unique perspective.  He or she may have as many as 20-30 same age peers to compare your child to.  And while you may not like some of the comparisons, it is useful to have this perspective too.  As parents, we may often compare our child to a sibling three years older or to a cousin whom you see at holidays or to a neighbor’s child who stands out for some reason or another.

      But we very rarely get to be a fly on the wall when our child is standing beside 20-30 kids his age being presented with a whole host of educational, social, moral or even athletic challenges which are pitched at his level.  Indeed, it is very likely that we only know what a child his age is ‘supposed’ to be able to do when he fails to do it and it seems that every other child on the planet did not.

      doctor button

        3.Talk to the experts.

        If you have engaged with your child’s teacher and if you have put in place some extra supports to remediate some difficulties and still your child is struggling, you may need to go one step further. You may need to book an appointment with the special education teacher at your child’s school.  If that is not sufficient, you may need to seek out an educational psychologist for consultation.

        IQ by raiseyourIQ

          4. Get all the facts.

          If you have had consultation with an educational specialist at your child’s school or with an educational psychologist, and still you are unsure of how to best support your child, you may need to go down the formal assessment route.  People think that getting a psycho-educational assessment or IQ testing done is scary, but it is not.  Getting an assessment done is extremely informative and it is not painful in any way, shape or form.

          Advertising

          Many kids enjoy the assessment process as IQ tests are set up as a series of games and tasks which are broken up into short segments.  Many involve your child looking at puzzles or pictures and figuring out what goes with what or what comes next in a pattern.  Some items are verbal and some are spatial.  Some are tests of memory and some are more related to verbal comprehension or even to understanding of social and moral norms.  The IQ test is usually followed by some tests of attainment which will likely look at your child’s ability to read, write and do arithmetic, but may be restricted to only the area of concern.  But at the end of this testing process, you will find out where your child’s individual strengths and weaknesses lie.  You will find out if they are stronger visual or auditory learners.  You may find out what their spatial skills or receptive and expressive language skills are like.

          Remember that while an IQ score is just a number, it represents a composite of different skill sets that your child presents with and this number is ranked in relation to what would be expected for your child’s age group.  So knowing which areas your child is strong or weak in will enable you to help them to learn better.  In the same vein, knowing that your child’s decoding skills are much weaker or stronger than their reading comprehension skills are will enable you to tailor their literacy support, if indeed that is where the difficulty lies.  At the end of this process, you should also get a whole list of recommendations for what you should do next to best support your child’s needs. So my opinion is that this process is an empowering one, not a limiting one.

          man doing research on IQ

            5. Do your own research, but only use informed scientific sources.

            Your psychologist will often refer you to certain websites or literature based on the outcomes of the assessment.  So you may be looking at books on general intellectual difficulties or developmental disabilities.  Alternately, you may need to make contact with your local Dyslexia Association or other specific learning difficulty experts.  But the point is that you should only use informed scientific sources.  Googling your child’s diagnosis is fine, but there is no “weed out” process on people’s blogs and some of the stuff online is downright scary and often incorrect.

            Many other sites online may be aiming to sell you something and you need to be very careful to not get sucked in to hoaxes and promises of cures by pseudo-scientific self help gurus selling snake oil about improving your brain health without having any scientific support for their methods or products.  So do your research, but be careful. There are very real and powerful scientific innovations which can help your child to make progress.  Just make sure you can separate the scientists from the charlatans.

            Advertising

            friends talking about IQ

              6. Talk to your friends for support, but remember, most of them are not clinicians.

              If your child has a genuine learning difficulty– whether that be related to, for example, weak general language comprehension, lower than average overall intellectual skills or a specific learning difficulty in some area of attainment—she will not grow out of it and it is not a phase.  No amount of hugs and love or equine therapy will make a learning difficulty disappear.

              That is of course, not to say that you don’t give plenty of hugs and love and have pets if you so choose, but it never ceases to amaze me how many people try to make their friends feel better by telling them that their child’s learning difficulty is not real or that the child will grow out of it.  Certainly the quality of education matters significantly, but without targeted intervention, there may be skills that your child will not learn incidentally.  So while you should always seek the emotional support of your friends and loved ones, please remember that most of them are not clinicians, specialist teachers or psychologists.  So do not let them make you feel guilty for accessing appropriate intervention and do not let them talk you into bizarre and unscientific strategies for “fixing” your child.

                7. Do not panic.

                There are hundreds of thousands of people walking around, leading meaningful lives, while having some level of learning difficulty.  Some of them may have borderline intellectual impairments.  Others may have severe reading or spelling difficulties.  Others may have social skills or working memory deficits.  But the fact of the matter is that many of them continue to go undiagnosed and many around them will never know the difference.  However, the damage that can be done to a person’s sense of self worth or self efficacy by thinking they are stupid is infinitely worse than knowing they have a language difficulty or a reading difficulty and importantly knowing that there is help out there. So don’t panic.  Get your facts straight first and then decide what you need to do next.

                woman planning

                  8. Come up with a plan of action.  

                  Once you have determined the nature of the difficulty, it is time to come up with a plan.  This plan of action should be informed by the teachers and by the educational psychologist.  The plan should identify your child’s areas of strength and weakness.  It should identify tangible goals and realistic time frames for meeting them.  It should contain concrete strategies for attaining those goals and these strategies should be evidence based.  So if it is Dyslexia support group or a brain training course you are sending your child on, make sure the strategy is evidence based, put it into your plan and make sure that it is consistent with the overall goals of the plan.  This plan should then be reviewed at regular intervals to determine which strategies are effective and which need to be amended/improved.

                  Advertising

                  teacher providing learning support

                    9. Get learning support.

                    Most modern schools have some level of learning support available within the school system.  So you may need to see a reading or a mathematics specialist teacher at the school.  You may also need to access various professional therapies like speech and language therapy if your child’s difficulty is related to weak expressive or receptive language difficulties.  You may have to see an occupational therapist if your child has some difficulties with fine or gross motor co-ordination.  You may need to seek follow-up support with an educational or clinical psychologist if your child has not yet acquired age appropriate social skills or emotional regulation skills.

                    picking peaches

                      10. Love your child anyway.

                      Irrespective of whether or not your child winds up with a diagnosis.  Irrespective of whether or not your child has a general learning difficulty, a specific learning difficulty or is just a little bit behind in some area of academic or social and emotional/development.  This is still your baby.  This is still the same bundle of joy that you first brought home and loved with all your heart and protected with with all your might.  So your expectations may have changed somewhat.

                      Well, I suspect you know by know that that was going to happen anyway, no matter where you live or who you are.  Life is never quite the way we imagined.  It is much more difficult, much less Hollywood, and infinitely more interesting and exciting than our parents ever told us about.

                      Featured photo credit: Shannon O’Brien via shannonrosephotography.weebly.com

                      More by this author

                      13 Ways To Deal With An Angry Child Want To Boost Brain Power? Try Out These 10 Foods RaiseYourIQautisticchildren 20 Things Children with Autism Want to Tell You This Is How You Can Raise Your IQ And Improve Your Memory Top Tips to Increase Parent-Child Attachment

                      Trending in Health

                      1 8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life 2 17 Weight Loss Recipes That Are Incredibly Nutritious and Super Delicious 3 How to Prevent Neck Pain from Sleeping (And Quick Fixes to Help You) 4 Do Essential Oils for Weight Loss Actually Work? 5 3 Simple Steps to Reduce Your Gut Inflammation

                      Read Next

                      Advertising
                      Advertising
                      Advertising

                      Last Updated on January 17, 2019

                      8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

                      8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

                      In life, we all need to be conscientious of what we are doing. You don’t need to live a life of stress if you don’t want to. You can achieve peace and happiness in life by carefully building mindfulness exercises into your life’s routine.

                      Exercising mindfulness isn’t rocket science and as importantly, you can do it. It will, however, take a few tries to get into the groove of things but once you get it, it is like riding a bike, you will never lose it.

                      Trust me. It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. In this article, I will share with you 8 mindfulness exercises that will help you to boost your energy, vitality and live a more peaceful and happier life.

                      Why Is It Hard to Live A Peaceful And Happy Life?

                      Our Habitat Has Become Too Technological

                      The world has accepted the idea that technology is often the cure for all evil. We have accepted, as a society, that everything technological will make us live a better life without fully investigating the many side effects that modernity brings.

                      There are a number of technological side effects that have a tremendous impact on your life that the media rarely tells you about.[1] Some of them include self-harm, economic inequality, having less sex, and even suicide. The global community is becoming less happy because of technology.

                      How can anybody live a peaceful and happy life when they are depressed? Technology advancements, ladies and gents, is a major reason for why we are living a poor life because it has infiltrated our lives too much.

                      According to my research, Americans spend an average of 8 hours a day looking at the computer screen — The average screen time spent on smartphones alone is about 20 hours per week. That’s a lot! No wonder why living a happy and peaceful life is so difficult these days.

                      Too Many People Don’t Want to Unplug

                      Americans check their phones an average of 80 times during vacation.[2] Some admit to checking their smartphones 300 times every single day. In countries like Brazil, India and China, the situation is no different.

                      The reality is that people are constantly plugged into technological devices and this behavior is literally making people all over the globe fight an inner war with themselves, which consequently makes them very sad. As we know, war is the enemy of peace which won’t make anybody happy.

                      Listen carefully:

                      We have a global anxiety epidemic because people don’t want to unplug from their smartphones and most people aren’t doing anything to fix it. It is a sad state of affairs but very real. This obsession with technology is turning us into perishable robots who live terrible lives.

                      Advertising

                      The era of anxiety is here to stay. There is little doubt about it. We can, however, fight back with the best remedy of all — We call it mindfulness!

                      Thank God there is an antidote to this whole technological madness. Without further ado, let’s go straight to the mindful exercises.

                      8 Mindfulness Exercises to Start Practicing

                      There are tons of mindfulness exercises available for you to engage with out there.[3] In the paragraphs below, I will include the best ones I’ve personally tried or have seen my close friends and family members try.

                      Are you ready for it? Let’s go!

                      1. Pray Daily

                      You should pray on a daily basis. Why is that you may ask — Well, because science has told us to do so.

                      When people pray, they feel peaceful, almost eliminating anxiety. Worries become secondary, and often gives people energy and hope to cope with the difficulties of life.

                      Prayer can make you more confident and focused. Prayer also helps you with self-control, helps to control pain, and can protect you against illnesses and disorders like cancer and high blood pressure. At least, this is what researchers from Harvard Medical School have said.[4]

                      Pray. You won’t regret it.[5]

                      2. Pay Attention to Your Inner Thoughts

                      A lot of people allow themselves to be influenced by their negative thoughts. Be different and resist believing in them. It is a bad habit that can lead to unhappiness.

                      By the way, if you do feel this way, chances are high that somebody other than you put these thoughts into your head.

                      Here is my secret to combat this cancer — look at things objectively. I bet that if you look at things as they are, you will realize that most if not all of your negative thoughts are only inside of your head.

                      Advertising

                      If you pay close attention, you will quickly realize that these voices aren’t worth your time. Believe me — Ignoring them and looking at things with objectivity is often the best course of action.

                      This article can guide you to beat negative thoughts:

                      How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts When You’re Overwhelmed

                      3. Smile Often

                      Smiling will slow down your heart. It will also relax your body because when you smile, your body releases endorphins which in itself has a number of positive benefits for you as a person.

                      Smile often! You may want to smile early in the morning, during the day, and late in the evening. It is amazing what happens to you when you decide to smile instead of being grumpy.

                      Surrender your problems to a nice smile. You will notice two things. First, most people just don’t which makes them live a miserable life. Second, if you decide to smile often, you will eventually smile unconsciously which is the ideal.

                      The moment that you smile unconsciously, you then know that you are truly happy.

                      4. Organize Your Working Desk

                      A messy desk will make you less productive and can agitate and overstimulate you. You don’t want that.

                      When you clear your desk, you engage in deep inner-thinking and your systematic decision making ends up becoming therapeutic.

                      Most people realize that they are most creative when their creative space is clean and organized. The former often makes people more aware of what they are doing which lends to less stress and more productivity.

                      Organizing your desk will also make you more energetic and focused because order often decreases chaos which is a condition that often slows down daily progress.

                      Advertising

                      5. Celebrate Your Friend’s Victories

                      I love this mindful exercise. One of the best ways to live a happy and peaceful life is to celebrate the victories of others. When you do that, you automatically make your friends in a better mood which makes you in a better mood, as well.

                      Happiness is contagious! We might as well celebrate others as much as we can. If you find out that your peer has won an award, celebrate with him! If your friend is the recipient of a local charity award, celebrate with her!

                      What is also awesome is that when you celebrate with others, they often celebrate with you in return. This, ladies and gentleman, will make you feel fantastic. You can’t go wrong with this one, period.

                      6. Listen to Your Spouse/Partner

                      God put someone in your life for a reason. You might as well listen to him or her.

                      I listen to my wife everyday. In fact, I often ask the following question to her, “Amanda, what are your thoughts about…” or “What am I missing about…” It is shocking what I hear back from her. Without her having much context and perspective, by the art of observation in my own nonverbal behavior and the behavior of others, she accurately gives me incredible insights which helps me out with living my life to the fullest.

                      I’m a firm believer that spouses are supposed to engage in interpersonal communication every day. I most definitely do and will continue doing it. You should do the same.

                      7. Give Yourself a Break from Technology

                      You can’t be in total equilibrium if your computerized devices control your life. You must get away from technology on a daily basis.[6]

                      How do you do that? This is my formula:

                      First, take this smartphone control test. It is only ten questions but this test will place you somewhere in the human robot cycle continuum.

                      If your score is between 25-30, take a break from the computer (or smartphone, pad, laptop/desktop) every twenty minutes and stop being on a computerized device after 8:00pm.

                      If you score between 30-35, still take a break every 20 minutes but stop being on these devices at 5:00pm.

                      Advertising

                      If you score more than 35, you need to take action immediately.

                      Limit computer use as much as possible throughout the day. Give yourself as many breaks from the computer as possible. Are you ready for the challenge?

                      8. Go Exercise

                      Go exercise at least three times a week. I don’t care if you need to workout early in the morning, late in the evening, on the weekends or during work days. Working out is absolutely imperative for you to live happy and peaceful life.

                      The stresses of the modern world are too much for you to neglect this important mindfulness exercise. When you go to the gym, you burn calories, focus on activities one step at a time, your mind relaxes, anxiety decreases, you sweat and often think about topics unrelated to your work place among many other benefits.

                      You must exercise at least three hours each week for optimum results. Why? Just take a look at all the benefits of regular exercising:

                      12 Benefits of Regular Exercise You Should Know

                      The Bottom Line

                      It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. Now that our habitat has become too technological and many people just don’t want to unplug, engaging in daily prayer, celebrate your friends’ victories, and listening to your spouse are among the best ways to be mindful about what you are doing and how you are living.

                      It is possible to live a happy and peaceful life. It only depends on you.

                      Go exercise! Take a break from technology and invest in you! Life is too short for distractions.

                      More Resources About Mindfulness

                      Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

                      Reference

                      Read Next