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Three Reasons Why Anger is Your Friend

Three Reasons Why Anger is Your Friend

    Previously, we have discussed why Fear, Sadness and Shame are actually your friends. Today we are going to talk about Anger. Anger gets a lot of bad press. Executives are sent to Anger Management classes, we talk about Road Rage and Bullying. But Anger, expressed cleanly, can very much be your friend.

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    First, Anger gives you the energy to confront a threat. Angry people “aren’t going to take it anymore,” they are going to do something to right a wrong or put a stop to an injustice or defend against an attacker, and these people are fired up! That’s important because threats can be scary, and, you know, threatening, and it helps to have the energy that angers gives us to confront them. Without that anger and energy, you can sit there and think and think and think, and rationalize why you’re not doing anything, and nothing will change. Angry people don’t stay passive long.

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    Second, Anger helps you to set boundaries. When you find yourself feeling Angry, you know that someone or something just violated your sense of boundaries, your sense of what is right and wrong, and you feel compelled to do something about it. Now, Anger can be very consuming, in the moment, but it may well help you in the moment to ask yourself, before you actually run off half-cocked and do something you may regret, “what just happened to violate my boundaries? What do I need to do to address that?” Now you have a clearer idea of the problem, and the solution, and, as noted above, the energy to step forward and act, even when there is risk.

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    Lastly, Anger helps you to show others you are serious. Clean Anger, as opposed to blind rage (Anger’s very troublesome twin brother), demonstrates your willingness to confront that threat, to enter into conflict and to stay present, even as you get cut and bruised in the fray, and to do what it takes to prevail. Anger can be kinda scary, and when presented with Anger, many people will back down.

    The trick with Anger, of course, is for you to 1> Use your anger in pursuit of a worthwhile goal that serves a higher purpose for your values, your community, your family. Scaring people just to get what you want is just playground Bullying.  2> Stay in control of yourself so that you can keep your eye on the goal and move toward it purposefully, so that you don’t find yourself enjoying conflict for its own sake and causing unnecessary damage. Perhaps we can say it like this: Anger is a great Servant, but a really bad Master.

    So, Anger gives you the energy to confront a threat, helps you to set boundaries, and show others you are serious.  That is definitely a friend worth having, or maybe a trusted bodyguard. Either way, you want someone like that in your corner.

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    Dave Kaiser

    An Executive Coach who helps people make better use of their time, from productivity to living their life's mission.

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    Last Updated on June 19, 2019

    How to Practice Positive Meditation in 2 Simple Steps

    How to Practice Positive Meditation in 2 Simple Steps

    Just by simply spending some effort and time, staying positive every day can be easily achieved. All that is required is a fraction of your time, 10-15 minutes a day to cultivate the positive you!

    But first, what is really positive thinking? Do you have to be in an upbeat, cheerful and enthusiastic mood all day to be positive minded?

    No. Positive thinking simply means the absence of negative thoughts and emotions – in other words, inner peace!

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    When you are truly at peace within yourself, you are naturally thinking positively. You don’t have to fight off negative thoughts, or search desperately for more positive thoughts. It just happens on its own. And here are 2 positive thinking meditation tips to empower you:

    1. Relax as You Meditate

    A powerful, simple yet rarely used technique is meditation. Meditation doesn’t have to take the form of static body posture. It can be as simple as sitting in a comfortable chair listening to soothing music. Or performing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises.

    Meditation is all about letting go of stressful or worrisome thoughts. That’s it! If you spend just a few minutes per day feeling relaxed and peaceful, you automatically shift your mind into a more positive place. When you FEEL more relaxed, you naturally THINK more positively!

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    Start with a short period of time, like 5 or 10 minutes a day. You can meditate first thing in the morning, during your lunch break, right before you go to bed at night, or any time. The most important thing is to consciously let go of unproductive thoughts and feelings. Just let them go for those few minutes, and you may decide not to pick them back up again at all!

    2. Practice Daily Affirmations

    Positive affirmations can be used throughout the day anywhere and at anytime you need them, the more you use them the easier positive thoughts will take over negative ones and you will see benefits happening in your life.

    What are affirmations? Affirmations are statements that are used in a positive present tense language. For example, “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better, better and better” is a popular affirmation used by the late Norman Vincent Peale.

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    So how does one go about using positive affirmations in everyday life? Let’s look at some guidelines to follow when reciting your daily affirmations.

    1. Use first person pronouns in your message (I)
    2. Use present tense (I have)
    3. Use positive messages (I am happy)
    4. Repeat your affirmations on a consistent basis

    Affirmations have to be said with conviction and consistency. Start your day by saying your affirmations out loud. It wouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to repeat your affirmations; yet when done consistently, these positive affirmations will seep into the subconscious mind to cultivate the new positive you.

    Here’s an example of a “success affirmation” you can use on a daily basis:

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    I am successful in everything I do. Every venture I get into returns wealth to me. I am constantly productive. I always perform to the full potential I have and have respect for my abilities.
    My work is always given positive recognition. I augment my income constantly. I always have adequate money for everything I require. I spend my money prudently always. My work is always rewarded.

    You can find more examples here: 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life

    Remember, affirmations work on the basis of conviction and consistency. Do yourself a favor and make a commitment to see this through.

    Begin practicing these positive thinking tips right now. And I wish you continued empowerment and growth on your positive thinking journey.

    More About Positive Thinking

    Featured photo credit: Jacob Townsend via unsplash.com

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