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Do People Really Want Birthday Gifts?

Do People Really Want Birthday Gifts?

Birthdays are instantly associated with gifts and paying special attention to the one celebrating. For one day a year, each of us becomes the center of attention and our wishes are fulfilled. But that might not always be the case, surprisingly. While as kids most of us liked throwing a big birthday party and looked forward to the colorful wrapped packages our friends would carry, some of us have changed a little or ended up disliking birthday traditions. Some people don’t like to celebrate their birthday after a certain age, but still appreciate gifts. Others have established a strict no-gift policy in their lives. Or they might prefer activities and spending time with friends and family more than a packaged object. Remember the friend who has been traveling the world this past year? He can’t use a fancy decorative bowl. Mothers of young kids have no space to store another toy, so no wonder they seem terrified at the site of a big plush bear. Everyone is different, and everyone is continually changing because of personal choices or unexpected happenings. So next time you think about mailing a fun birthday gift to your friend who you haven’t seen in two years, stop and think how much things could have changed in their life. Ask yourself if it is what they need or if it is the best you could give them right now.

Statistics and examples

While there are no official statistics that reflect people’s preferences when it comes to receiving birthday gifts, I am pretty sure the results would be widely varying if everyone told the truth. Many times we really need a particular thing or have a long wish list, but telling others that feels selfish and uncomfortable. Even if you say you need new clothes, for example, no one can ensure that you won’t end up with five floral dresses and two hand knitted beanies when you actually wear black suits everyday.

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For me, the most difficult person to choose a gift for will always be my mother. It’s because she is very selective when buying for herself, and she rarely likes what others get her. Deep down I know she doesn’t want us to spend money and that’s why she tells us she wants nothing every year. There were some success stories, but mostly it has been a miss with the presents I have made/bought for her. My dad hands her an envelope and she can get herself whatever she likes. Such an easy way to go, but I think it just works better with certain people.

As for my father, he really appreciates my thoughtful presents, the handmade ones or the ones I have been planning for a long time. However, he would never admit he didn’t like anything, so he is the easiest kind of guy to choose a gift for.

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A friend of mine from university would make a wish list a month before her birthday and show it to everyone. Items in the list ranged from eyeliner to a mobile phone, so I guess the first ones to choose were the luckiest.

My husband and I, after many stressful years spent thinking of creative ideas, have agreed that the best gifts are the ones we need. We don’t really expect anything else besides spending our birthdays with each other, but if there has to be a gift, it will be something from our wish list or “need” list that we will use all the time. I got him a gadget and he got me sunglasses this year. They are things we’ve been using daily and now carry extra value, making us take better care of them. A different case is my brother, who doesn’t expect gifts, but asks for them strategically (from our parents, obviously). He won’t gift others anything either, unless he finds something really cool or he can afford an expensive present. I like that he doesn’t put too much stress on the topic and goes with his own flow.

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My rule of thumb

If you asked me what I like for my birthday, I would always tell you there’s nothing I need. You could get me anything and I would be content. That doesn’t mean I’d keep it forever and not re-gift it though. All I can promise is that I’d be genuinely happy with your gesture of thinking of me on my special day. Although I get more joy from giving presents to others, receiving them feels awesome too. The best presents I can remember, were from people I didn’t expect a gift from and the ones I had asked for. On the same note, I always feel the need to give others birthdays presents, because it’s their day and I need to remind them that. For people like my best friend, birthdays are grumpy days, with no celebrations. That doesn’t stop me from giving her something small when I meet her a few days later. After all, it’s a way of celebrating her and expressing my gratitude for her being in my life. As a rule of thumb, I go with something small when the birthday girl/boy is not expecting any gifts and for something really meaningful or what they asked for, in case it’s a family member or close friend (who’d be secretly sad/disappointed if I didn’t give them anything).

Why birthday gifts disappoint

While Christmas gifts are usually the hardest to shop for, birthday gifts are no better. You may only have one person to focus on, instead of 20, but it doesn’t make it any less difficult. Chances are you often forget about birthdays, unless you put them on the calendar, phone alarm or are reminded by social media alerts. The lack of time rushes you to get something last minute just for the sake of it, spending more money than you can afford or choosing something totally unrelated to the birthday person. Sometimes you have literally run out of gift ideas after many years of getting presents for him/her. Also, we all know that dreadful person who already has everything and what we get should be nothing short of spectacular. It happens though, that people change and what you thought would make your high school friend jump of joy, fails to give her the slightest smile. Or there is a particular current intention in their life, such as going clutter free or living a more meaningful life. No matter how appropriate or expensive your gift is, it will end up trashed/sold/donated because it doesn’t sync with their intention.

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How to prepare better gifts

To make things easy for yourself, get back to basics and write this down if you need to. “No one should expect gifts for their birthday and you don’t have to get every one something. But every present should be chosen with a purpose and received with gratitude.” To ensure this, do your homework. Here are some simple tips to help you get it right every time:

  • First of all, go on and ask them. They might not tell you what they really want, but they will for sure let you know if they don’t want gifts for any reason.If they are just being thankful and reflective on what they already have in their lives, it’s up to you to decide on a gift or not. Make sure it adds value to what they are doing. Spending time together or sharing a special activity is always unforgettable. Donating to a cause they care about is a nice pick too (you can also apply this to kids/teenagers).
  • If the reason they don’t want gifts is because they are not celebrating this year, ask why. For cases of loss or illnesses, go with flowers and a short note. Reading heartfelt and encouraging words during difficult times is comforting
  • When you have decided to buy something, set a budget and find the best your money can get you.
  • Consider their interests and likes. The less generic the gift, the more chances they will like it.
  • Whenever you can, choose a “package” gift, something you can share together, like going out for dinner or taking a weekend trip.
  • If you know them well, get them something  they love, but would never buy for themselves.
  • When you can only afford small or cheap things, make sure they are either beautiful or useful.
  • Edibles make perfect gifts, as long as they fall in the range of that persons favorites. They can be easily shared, which makes things more fun. Also, no clutter left behind.
  • If the person has an expensive item on their wish list, offer cash or gift certificates towards it. They will remember you as one of the people that made it possible for them to buy it.
  • When you live far away from each other or don’t communicate often, rely on the internet to find possible hints for what they like. Social media platforms and website where people share their wish lists make it easy to see a pattern of what they care for.
  • Sometimes you have to go the other way round. Start from yourself and think about what it is that you really want to say to them through your gift. If you want to express love or appreciation, choose something that best reflects what love or appreciation means for you. When you want them to be surprised or laugh out loud, put your skills to work and deliver that. It might not work well in every case, but at least you had an intention behind your gift and you can always explain that to any confused or disappointed gift receiver.You might be surprised at how many people will react differently after a short explanation note or a verbal story, telling you “It totally makes sense now!”
  • If nothing helps and you are short on time and ideas, try your luck with a fun quiz. Don’t expect much though. The best it can give you is a hint (or a good laugh) and maybe spark a better idea eventually. Also, here are links to a horoscope gift guide, DIY gift ideas and free meaningful gifts to inspire you further.

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Last Updated on January 14, 2019

7 Ways To Make Exercise Fun For Everyone

7 Ways To Make Exercise Fun For Everyone

From Atkins to Paleo to eating gluten-free despite not being one of the rare few people afflicted with celiac disease, fad diets are everywhere. It drives me crazy because I believe these diets do more harm than good. Your body is made up of a variety of vitamins, nutrients, and minerals, and losing weight healthily isn’t possible when you fill your body with unnecessary synthetic plastics, sugars, and powders. There’s no easy button in life.

What you need to do is exercise, which isn’t very appealing to many people. Workouts take work, so there’s already a stigma involved in going to the gym. Starting a healthy workout regimen becomes easier when you make it fun. If you want to live long and prosper, get off the couch and try these methods to turn your workout into a playout.

1. Take the scenic route.

Walking is an easy way to transition to a healthy lifestyle, and it’s free. Not only do you burn calories (check out this calculator for how many calories you burn based on your weight), but you see the world in a different way. Hiking in nature is great if you have access to it, but don’t let living in an urban area deter you from walking.

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Whenever I’m creatively stuck I get my head straight by walking a couple of miles. It’s also how I discover new paths, meet new people, and stumble upon hole-in-the-wall spots I never would have found otherwise. You could drive past the same place every day and never appreciate the beauty, nor even notice it’s there.

2. Distract yourself.

No matter what exercise routine you choose, use the time to meditate. You may wonder how marathon runners are able to put so many miles on their bodies. It’s because the pain from running that you avoid is something they’ve learned to harness to enter a transcendental state. If you’re aware of the benefits of meditation and exercise but don’t have time to do both, you can combine them, killing two birds with one healthy stone.

3. Listen to music or podcasts.

There are few experiences in life more pleasurable than turning up the music and drowning out the world around you. With so many podcasts and music apps available on your smartphone, you can easily find entertainment options perfectly suited to your personal tastes. Never worry what people may think of you when working out;instead, crank up the volume and get lost in your own world. You’ll be in shape before you know it.

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4. Bring a friend.

Some people can’t go anywhere alone. While I highly recommend dining out and seeing a movie in a theater alone, having company while exercising is very helpful. It allows you to pace yourself with someone else, and gives you a coach to motivate and push harder than you may have on your own.

Many exercises are safer when done with a friend, and some sports can only be played with another person. Involving others in your goals can mean the difference between success and failure. Just remember to continue exercising if the other person flakes, or they’ll be in control of your health.

5. Accessorize.

There are accessories that can make exercise easier, and sometimes buying a new toy can add some much-needed fun to your routine. With apps like RunKeeper and Nike+, your smartphone is capable of tracking your vitals and progress. Wrist weights can add a new dimension to your workout, and, if you exercise at night, a headlamp can help you see what’s in front of you so you don’t trip.

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For urban runners and power-walkers, one of the biggest obstacles is other people. It’s difficult to get in your meditative zone and enjoy your music when you constantly have to dodge people. To resolve this vexing issue, Runbell, a startup in Tokyo, has developed the runner’s version of the bicycle bell. With this lightweight brass bell warning people you’re approaching from behind, you’re free to maintain your transcendental state while continuing your workout. Head to their Kickstarter campaign to pledge your support.

6. Compete.

A little healthy competition can motivate you to push yourself further in your workout regimen. There are apps like Zombies, Run! which turns your run into a video game, and MyFitnessPal which allows you to connect with others in the exercise community. Whether you’re directly competing with a friend, an online community, or against your previous self, setting goals is the key to reaching them. Running with no destination can feel like an impossible task, and it’s easy to get distracted.

7. Relax.

The best part about exercising is how much you enjoy the downtime. If you think laying on your couch all day is enjoyable, it has nothing on that hour you spend as a couch potato after a rigorous workout. Jay-Z said it best, “in order to experience joy, you need pain.” The harder you push yourself while exercising, the better you’ll feel when you’re relaxing.

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With that said, don’t relax too much, or it loses the effect. It’s okay to indulge every so often. Treat yourself to some junk food you’re craving, imbibe a drink here and there, and spend a day vegging out on your couch. Staying healthy doesn’t have to be torture. Just turn down when you can and dedicate some time to better the health of your body. You only get one.

Featured photo credit: tpsdave via pixabay.com

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