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Getting Along With Your Parents Is Easy If You Follow These Steps

Getting Along With Your Parents Is Easy If You Follow These Steps

If you have difficulty in getting along with your parents, there may be many reasons for this. The main problem is letting you have your freedom while they seek to protect you. This can last from the teenage years into adulthood.

The key is not to think that they should change their behavior overnight. But many teens feel that their parents are not listening to them. The secret is to build trust, communication and respect. Let us see how you can put these into practice.

Communication is key

I can remember my older brother who was living at home in his early twenties. He was taciturn to say the least, but I think he could have been more communicative. My mother, who rarely slept well until he returned home after a long night on the tiles, asked what time he would be back, he replied ‘half past!’

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If there had been more communication, my parents would have worried less and their relationship would have improved.

Expectations and acceptance

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

Parents often have high expectations. I remember that my own relationship with my father was difficult, to say the least. I  crashed his car and I was never any good at golf, his passion. So, I was pretty far down the scale in regards to his expectations for me. For my part, I expected more understanding and empathy so it was a difficult relationship.

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In my early twenties, I decided to accept him for what he was and we started to get on fine. Maybe my father realized that I had other talents and I deserved more understanding. We never looked back.

We both decided to lower expectations and accept each other for what we were. Too often, teenagers expect their parents to change and there is not much give and take.

Identify flashpoints

If you are a teenager/young adult trying to get along at home, there are certain principles which are the foundation for any loving and successful relationship. The only problem is that certain flashpoints tend to explode and ruin any chance of understanding and affection.

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Ask yourself about the problems. Why cannot you get along?  Is there a complete lack of understanding, communication and mutual respect?  Making a list of the things that really make you mad can be helpful. It can help you to pinpoint where the problem areas are, such as:

  • conflicts about curfews and other restrictions
  • carelessness/insistence over chores
  • insults, offensive language and lack of respect
  • lack of communication on both sides

This helps you to start thinking about how to resolve these issues. You may decide to seek a compromise and you need to prepare your case carefully in advance. Realizing that you have to give and take is one of life’s lessons that you learn at this point. Hopefully, your parents are flexible enough to put this into practice too.

Show that you care

This is the greatest investment that you can make. You can show your care and affection in many ways:

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  • Don’t take privileges for granted.
  • Take responsibility for keeping your room in order or caring for pets
  • Show an interest in your parents’ work/problems/friends.
  • Say ’thank you’ every now and again for meals/treats.
  • Bond with them by doing things together, such as watching their favourite TV program or doing sports together.
  • Don’t forget birthdays and anniversaries and give them presents.
  • Call them or text them to let them know where you are or what you are doing.

“We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.”- Henry Ward Beecher

Build trust

This is the greatest treasure trove of all. If you are honest and never manipulate or lie, then your parents begin to trust you because they know you are displaying reliability. If you can show that you are capable of making sensible decisions about the company you keep, your finances and your studies, then you will find that freedom to do what you want will be so much easier.

“One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mom and dad.”– Jim DeMint

Let us know how you get on with your parents in the comments below. Was there a key turning point which helped you gain your freedom?

Featured photo credit: Trust/Sharon via flickr.com

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home

Your house is more than just a building that you live in. It should be a home that makes you feel welcome as soon as you open the front door.

Making your house feel like a home is not something that simply happens on its own. You need to make some changes to a house when you move in, to give it that cozy, warm feeling that turns it into a true home. To help you speed the process, follow this guide to 10 small changes to make your house feel like a home.

1. Make the Windows Your Own

When you move into a home, they often come with boring Venetian blinds or less than attractive curtains.

One of the best ways you can instantly warm your home and make it showcase your style is to add some new window dressing. Adding beautiful curtains not only improves your home’s appearance, but it can also help to control the temperature.

2. Put up Some Art

If you have a lot of bare walls in your home, it will seem sterile no matter how beautiful your paint or wallpaper is.

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Hanging art on the walls will instantly give it personality and make it feel like home.

3. Improve the Aroma

A house that is not filled with inviting smells will never feel like a home. There are loads of ways you can make your home smell nice. There are tons of air fresheners on the market you can use.

Incense and scented candles are a nice option as well. Don’t forget that baking in a home is also a great way to fill it with an aroma that instantly smells like home as soon as you open the front door.

4. Put out Lots of Pillows and Throws

A great way to make your home look warm and inviting is to place lots of pillows and throws out on the furniture. It is much better to have too many pillows than not enough.

There is nothing like the feeling of sinking into a cushiony pillow that feels like a cloud to make you feel like you are at home.

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5. Instantly Class up Your Closet

If your closet is filled with wire or plastic hangers, it will never truly feel homey. To instantly make your closet feel classy, change out your old hangers for wooden ones.

Not only do they look great, but they are better for hanging your clothes as well.

6. Improve Your Air Quality

One of the most overlooked ways to make your house feel more like a home is to improve its air quality.

The easiest and best way to upgrade the air quality in your home is to change the old, dirty filters in your furnace regularly. Get some air filters delivered to your home so that you always have some on hand.

7. Fill it with Plants

Another way to improve the air quality in your home is to fill it with plants. You should have plants in every room of your home.

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They help to improve the air quality and they look beautiful. As well as making your home appear homier, plants also help to boost your mood and lower your stress levels.

8. Change the Doorknobs

Most people don’t really give their doorknobs a second thought unless they are broken. That is a shame because changing your doorknobs is an easy way to add personality to your home.

Changing your old, boring doorknobs to new ones that are works of art will instantly brighten your home.

9. Upgrade Your Tub or Shower

There is nothing like luxuriating in a whirlpool bath or steam shower to make the cares of the day melt away. Your family deserves a bit of luxury when they are in their bathroom.

Install a new shower or tub today to make your bathroom worthy of a place in your home.

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10. Fresh Cut Flowers

You can make any room in your house feel homier by placing a vase full of beautiful flowers in it. The gorgeous look and intoxicating aroma of fresh cut flowers will immediately brighten your day when you encounter them.

You don’t have to make all these changes at once. Try one or two a day though, and your house will feel like a home before you know it. The trick is to constantly keep adding these homey touches to make your home a place worthy of its name.

Featured photo credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-wooden-round-analog-wall-clock-on-brown-wooden-wall-121537/ via unsplash.com

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