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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

Signs You Need an Attitude Adjustment (And How to Do It)

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Signs You Need an Attitude Adjustment (And How to Do It)

Have you ever had one of those days when nothing seems to go right?

You get out of bed in the morning feeling grumpy. Perhaps you mutter to yourself because there’s no coffee.

The traffic lights all seem to be stuck on red and you feel like the world is against you. As you screech into work ten minutes late, you complain about all the things that went wrong.

We all have the occasional day like this, because that’s life. But if you experience regular days like this, then it could be a sign you need an attitude adjustment.

I’ll expand on this more.

You see, our attitude affects the way we view life and this influences our behavior and communication. And, the way we behave and communicate influences any situation we experience. Because of this, if you have a negative attitude, you are more likely to create a negative outcome.

You’ve probably also heard the saying that “bad luck or misfortune comes in threes.” This isn’t because you’ve run over a black cat or because of some magical formula. It’s because we normally focus on things that don’t go well.

We repeat the event in our head and see it as a bad thing. We then create and notice more misfortune, because that is what we are looking for.

If this is the case, and if you want to experience more good fortune and enjoyment, then you need to view life through a positive lens. And this may mean you need to adjust your attitude.

As always, awareness is the first step to change. This means we need to know what to look for.

Here are five common signs and the benefits you would reap by making these adjustments.

1. You Think Other People Need an Attitude Adjustment

Do you find yourself having lots of disagreements?

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Maybe you don’t outwardly argue with the person or maybe you do. But you keep replaying the conversation in your head, inwardly arguing your point and feeling annoyed.

We all have different opinions and this is what makes the world a beautiful place to live. If we regularly get annoyed because someone has a different viewpoint, we need to change the way we are looking at it.

You have probably heard the saying “put yourself in their shoes” and it’s a saying because it works.

In NLP, we use a technique called Perceptual Positions. It’s a powerful way to see things outside of your usual perspective and solve conflict.[1]

You can do this easily by imagining yourself in their position and what may cause them to see things that way. Consider their life and what past experiences may have led them to have that point of view. Know that there is no right or wrong opinion only difference.

2. Similar Issues Arise with More Than One Person

Most people will experience similar issues with more than one person. Yet without the awareness to look for this, it can often slip by unnoticed.

If you are triggered by similar circumstance, it is an indication you need to self adjust or change. These issues aren’t necessarily disagreements; it could just be something you walk away taking personally.

We create meanings around everything we experience and it’s the meaning we choose that affects our feelings. If we make it mean “they don’t like me” or “I’m not important” then, we will feel negative.

Life is a mirror of our thoughts, beliefs and attitudes. This is wonderful, because it means we are able to find clues to what might be causing the issue.

I always know I need an attitude adjustment when I feel upset over clashes with those closest to me. When I identify the same feelings I have felt recently with other people, it’s a clue I must change.

If you don’t look deeper into this, you will keep re-creating similar experiences until you eventually see the light.

Start by reframing the meaning and ask yourself;

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“What have I made this situation mean about me?”

And “What could this mean instead?”

When you change the meaning, the way you feel about the situation will change. As you repeatedly do this, your experiences will change.

3. You Complain About Your Own Life a Lot

We all do this from time to time. But when you are consistently self-absorbed, your attitude seriously needs some adjustment.

This kind of behavior often begins with only thinking about you and talking about yourself a lot. Opening conversations with your own stories and not taking much interest in the other person.

It’s easy to do especially if you live alone. But, because of the connection between self-absorbed behavior and mental health issues, it’s essential to change this.

A 2002 bulletin written for the American Psychological Association states there is a relation between self-focused attention and negative affect (depression, anxiety, negative mood).[2] This means if you start to work on changing your focus right now, you will start to feel a more positive mood.

The first step is to begin to show an interest in other people’s lives. Become curious and ask them questions. Be genuinely interested in who they are and ask them about their stories.

Smile at strangers and say hello. Open little conversations in the supermarket queue and make it about anything but you.

If you’re not sure how to do this, find other people who do it well. Notice how they start conversations.

As you take these small steps each day, you will notice your mood improve and your enjoyment of life will increase.

4. You Think Everyone Else Is Better off Than You

Do you feel envious of others’ lives and wonder where you went wrong? If you do this often, then it may be time to look at this in a different way.

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Thinking others are better off than you, often runs in line with a self-focused attitude. Maybe you even think you’re the only one who has problems. You think that if life were better, then you would be happy.

People who are consistently happy aren’t happy because everything is always going to plan. They are happy because they have an optimistic and abundant attitude.

We all have problems and issues crop up, because that’s life. We are here to grow and this is often the result of learning to manage our problems well. People with an optimistic attitude understand this and work with it instead of being envious and pessimistic.

This means it’s important to be optimistic instead of thinking and feeling like you are missing out.

An attitude like this needs to be cultivated and begins with acknowledging the good in your life. Even if things aren’t exactly as you want them to be, notice where you are blessed.

You can actively cultivate this with regular written practice. Get a journal and write down ten things each day you are grateful for.

As you do this regularly, you will feel more optimistic and abundant. This will result in a happier and more content life.

5. You Have a Catastrophe Attitude

Does the toaster triggering the fire alarm set you fuming? You can feel your skin prickling as the anxiety starts to mount.

I get it. You’ve got five minutes to get out of the door before rush hour starts. And the thought of sitting in traffic for almost two hours seems like torture.

Here’s the thing though, catastrophizing is another behavior that can lead to depression.

Catastrophizing is seeing an unfavourable outcome to an event and then deciding that if this outcome does happen, the results will be a disaster.[3]

There are far worse things happening in the world than your toast burning. Running a couple of minutes late doesn’t mean the world is going to end, yet at the time it seems like the worst thing.

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Repeatedly making mountains out of molehills leads us to feel like we are in crisis. Over the long term, we could start to feel like we have no control over our emotions. This can really affect our quality of life.

Can you imagine how the quality of each day will increase when you shift this attitude?

Change begins with just a small adjustment and it’s all simply with numbers.

Imagine the very worst thing that could happen in the world, like the planet dying for instance. That would be a disaster, right!

Think about how much of a catastrophe that would be on a scale of one to ten. Place a number on it.

Now go back to your current experience and compare it against the disaster you just imagined. Place a number on it.

I don’t know about you, but I would much prefer to be getting up on that chair to reset the fire alarm.

Consistently reframing situations when you experience them, you will begin to normalize everyday events and feel calm.

Final Thoughts

Too many people waste so much time trying to control everything around them and getting upset when things don’t go well. The only thing we ever have complete control and influence over is ourselves; our thoughts, attitudes and beliefs.

Whether you are having one of those days or it’s a problem that has cropped up out of the blue. When you focus on adjusting your attitude towards it and see it differently, you will handle things better. You will see an increase in positive experiences and feel much more at peace.

More About Positive Thinking

Featured photo credit: Conner Baker via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Deb Johnstone

Deb is a professional mindset speaker and a transformational life, business and career coach. Specialising in NLP and dynamic mindset.

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Last Updated on December 6, 2021

Feeling Lost? 40 Quotes to Help You Find Meaning in Life

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Feeling Lost? 40 Quotes to Help You Find Meaning in Life

Sometimes, we carry with us ancient wisdom that has been whispered through generations where we find strength for what we need. Other times, we sense our happiness and sanity have been swept away, and we float rudderless in our space. We wonder if we’re heading in the right direction and feel doom rather than the transformation. In these moments, we may need some feeling lost quotes to help us find inspiration again.

During the times when we feel lost, it’s too easy to forget the comfort of good times and wade through the fluff that separates us from the pack.

I often work in leadership and have to test my limits and inspire those I’m leading. One of the quotes I keep in mind by T.S. Elliot is:

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

Knowing how you will perform in a crisis, personally or professionally, can help you get through tough times. The people who tend to work best in a crisis or stay calm in stressful times are those who are honest and forthright.

We often try to find sense in our lives with logic, reducing perceived risks by increasing control. The problem with control is you can hold on too tight, narrowing your options and missing the big picture.

Trying to squeeze action out of undefined goals only increases the pressure. Being happy comes from a sense of self and freedom, not a narrow list you’ve locked yourself into.

Sometimes, we need to observe our life in new ways and examine it with wisdom we doubt we have. Those big successes are done with small incremental actions done every day. Who will you choose to be in times of doubt?

Whether you bookmark this page for future inspiration or show off powerful, inspiring quotes on your T-shirt, coffee mug, key chain, and screen saver, these 40 feelings lost quotes will help remind you of your true essence.

We can reconnect with our priorities and take inspiration from both the ancients and modern visionaries with some of my favorite words below that inspire simplicity and truth.

Feeling Lost Quotes

1. “If you are working on something you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you” –Steve Jobs

2. “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” –Gordon Eadie

3. “One of the truest tests of integrity is a blunt refusal to be compromised.” –Chinua Achebe

4. “The fears we don’t face become our limits.” –Amy Elizabeth

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5. “Be who you needed when you were younger.” –Anonymous

6. “We generate fears when we sit. We overcome them by action.” –Dr. Henry Link

7. “The intangible represents the real power of the universe. It is the seed of the tangible.” –Bruce Lee

8. “Storms make trees take deeper roots.” –Dolly Parton

9. “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” –Henry Ford

10. “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” –Vincent Van Gogh

11. “Stop acting so small, you are the universe in ecstatic motion.” –Rumi

12. “A tree that is unbending is usually broken.” –Loa Tzu

13. “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” –Plutarch

14. “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” –Plato

15. “Your teacher can open the door, but you must enter by yourself.” –Chinese proverb

16. “To get lost is to learn the way.” –African Proverb

17. “Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” –Zig Ziglar

18. “Do you know who you are? Don’t ask. Act. Action will delineate and define you.” –Thomas Jefferson

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19. “Give thanks for what you are today and go on fighting for what part of you will be gone tomorrow.” –William Shakespeare

20. “Sorrow looks back. Worry looks around. Faith looks up.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

21. “One day you will ask me which is more important, my life or yours? I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life.” –Kahlil Gibran

22. “You were born to be real, not to be perfect.” –Anonymous

23. “After climbing a great hill, one only finds there are many more hills to climb.” –Nelson Mandela

24. “We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated.” –Maya Angelou

25. “I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be ignorance and affection to be art.” –Kahlil Gibran

26. “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” –Japenese Proverb

27. “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” — Joseph Campbell

28. “Go within every day and find the inner strength so that the world will not blow your candle out.” — Katherine Dunham

29. “One swallow does not make a summer, neither does one fine day. Similarly, one day or brief time of happiness does not make a person entirely happy.” — Aristotle

30. “There are two ways to live your life. One is as if nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle.” — Albert Einstein

31. “You got to go down a lot of wrong roads to find the right one.” — Bob Parson

32. “Anger, resentment, and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others. It only changes yours.” — Shannon L. Alder

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33. “To be lost is as legitimate a part of your process as being found.” — Alex Ebert

34. “Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.” — Henry Rollins

35. “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.” — Elbert Hubbard

36. “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.” — Vivian Greene

37. “Nothing is more beautiful than the smile that has struggled through the tears.” — Demi Lovato

38. “Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don’t serve them tea.” — Shunryu Suzuki

39. “Tough times never last, but tough people do.” — Robert H. Schuller

40. “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” — C.S. Lewis

Sometimes It’s Ok to Feel Lost

After looking at these feeling lost quotes, it is easy for someone to be confused. But these inspirational quotes will guide you to hear a voice every time when the risk is high, and you have nowhere to run. It is always easy to choose the shortcut and ignore the voice of the subconscious to do the right thing!

No matter how dire the circumstances might be, you need to make efforts and find ways to uplift your morale. Not making an effort is more painful than the risk of immersing your thoughts in negativity.

When you are feeling lost, it is natural to be confused about the next step. However, you have to determine when the risk of staying in a sad state for a longer period is causing more harm than good.

And don’t you worry, it’s okay sometimes to feel lost and not know where you are heading in your life. We go through various phases in life, and none of them stay permanent. Remember that “Life is a work-in-progress” and this too shall pass. Keeping hope is very important if you want to sail through the tides of life.

Don’t Be too Hard on Yourself

Everyone is fighting their fight in their ways, but none can say – “I know it all.” Life is a constant struggle, and everyone has to push through personally to overcome obstacles.

Whether it is your professional life that’s making you feel lost or your personal life brought about this state of mind, remember that you alone can find the solution. Happiness is a state of mind, and you alone can control the emotions that can bring a change in your attitude when you are feeling lost.

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No one can tell you what your purpose is in the world, and only you have to decide that on your own. The universe has given us life and one that teaches us various things through unique experiences. Some might be good, and some might be bad.

So, don’t beat yourself up or be hard on yourself even if you have not yet figured it out. It’s okay! You don’t owe anyone an explanation about why it is taking so long or why haven’t you been able to figure it out yet. Go at your own pace, and you shall reach where you intend to. Nothing is permanent, and you will find your way out. It’s just a matter of time.

Rather than complaining and belittling yourself, you can try brainstorming ideas to help you move on. Procrastinating and beating yourself up will only drown the motivation and bring nothing of value but just self-pity.

Don’t forget if you set your heart to something, you can achieve it. Feeling lost is not a permanent state, and to uplift your emotions, you need to have faith.

Final Thoughts

Many of these feeling lost quotes have a common core. That is, to take a step back and view yourself in a new way.

Take action and make inspiration a routine. To act creates learning, and that builds confidence, provides direction, and eliminates doubt.

Imagine what you want it to be so that your vibration matches your desire. We can’t snap our fingers to instantly change feeling lost, but we can increase our situational awareness with our emotions and places where our lives have or may take an abrupt turn.

We take inspiration from our daily lives in as many individually unique forms as we are different. Inspiration can strike instantly and sporadically or feel like a trickle that slowly grows into a majestic waterfall crashing through with creative energy. That trickle is what will keep you going in dark times.

When you’re in a place where you feel lost and don’t recognize yourself, allow some inner compassion for the person you are right in that moment[1].

You have the power to create your world, one step at a time, and these feeling lost quotes can help. You choose how you think. Tune in to how you feel and why.

Remember you have the power to be, have, and do anything you desire. Tough times never last, but tough people do.

See what I did there? Another quote to inspire original thought as it applies to you. It’s been said that if you want to test a man’s character, give him power and you will see his true colors. So keep your inspiration on tap for when you need a reminder of your purpose.

More to Inspire You When You’re Feeling Lost

Featured photo credit: Daniel Jensen via unsplash.com

Reference

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