Advertising
Advertising

12 Things That Happened To The Kids Growing Up In The Digital Age…

12 Things That Happened To The Kids Growing Up In The Digital Age…

Kids growing up now have great fun and learning experiences with new technology such as iPods, iPads, cell phones, skype, and podcasts. But, alarmingly, they are missing out on a whole range of learning, social interaction, physical activities, and emotional intelligence skills. Let me tell you what has happened to these kids. You cannot say you were not warned!

1. Kids are not playing outside anymore

More and more children are playing inside and are attached to their devices, computers, and video games. The UK government has got alarmed about the drop in the numbers of kids playing normal childhood games in the open air.

They have invested over £300 million to encourage teachers to do more sport in schools. They also want more kids to play games like hide-and-seek and hopscotch. The benefits are enormous as kids will be healthier, happier and less prone to obesity.

At the moment, about 33% of boys are not getting the recommended daily hour of exercise. The Play England site has loads of ideas on how to reconnect children with nature.

Advertising

2. Kids are not learning through face-to-face interaction

How does a baby learn to express and judge emotion? How do they start to learn language? They do it by watching their parents’ facial expressions and they begin to become social creatures, acquiring essential skills which will be vital when they start playgroups and schools. But guess what is happening? The parents are increasingly absorbed in their electronic devices and cannot be bothered to even look, smile or coo at their own children! Watch parents in a café and you will see what I mean.

The alarm was raised by several paediatricians. One of these, Dr. Jenny Radesky, actually carried out a study of 55 groups of parents while they were eating at fast food joints. She and her researchers spent a whole summer doing this. She does not claim that the study has been done scientifically but has just observed what is going on. Needless to say, she is urging parents to put away their smartphones and give their children some attention. It will be vital for their development.

3. Parent-kid relationships are negatively affected

The digital parents are opting out of parenting and this is unfair to the children. The use of devices was also having a very bad effect on the way the parents actually interacted with their kids. There was a lot of negative, harsh interaction when it actually took place. It also made parents more cranky.

This is mentioned by Dr. Wendy Sue Swanson of Seattle Children’s Hospital in her blog. She recommends that making boundaries for use of digital devices is very important, so that real parenting can be done. She also says that both kids and parents should take digital breaks together.

Advertising

4. Kids’ reading ability may be affected

There is not much research on this. But one initial study done by the Schugars of West Chester University suggests that the kids reading comprehension could be negatively affected. Their study showed that the kids who read paper books were better at comprehension than those who were using only ebooks. Kids on ebooks were inclined to skip the text and concentrate on all the interactive visual features such as popups. The best solution would be to encourage kids to read more paper books.

5. Kids have never played board games

Kids are online most of the time. Figures show that this has jumped by 38% since 2009. Whatever happened to those board games? Look at all the benefits a child gets, when you play together:

  • Child learns vocabulary, counting, math, reading
  • You can bond with him or her
  • Child learns about turn-taking, winning and losing
  • She or he can gain confidence, builds self esteem
  • Satisfies competitive urges
  • Increases attention span and focus
  • Helps concentration

While many games and apps on smartphones are also good at building some learning skills, they can never replace the human interaction.

6. Kids do not know what real friendship means

When we grew up, we had friends, real friends. Virtual friends did not exist. Look at today’s teems who can count up to a few hundred friends on Facebook. The problem is that they have never seen most of them and they only know them very superficially through a virtual friend of a friend. Staying connected is great and today’s teens send an average of 3,000 texts a month.

Advertising

But it seems that the concept of friendship and intimacy is being irrevocably changed and this will impact relationships later on. Studies at UCLA show that digital bonding is considerably less than real face-to-face interaction.

7. Kids are losing their creativity

Trevor Baylis, the famous inventor of the wind up radio, fears that children are not getting the hands on experience that he got when he was a boy. This is affecting their creativity. He learned about putting things together by playing with a Meccano set or by building model aeroplanes and so on. Few kids now never get their hands on games like this. Everything is done for them.

8. Kids are not learning empathy

Being tolerant, caring and controlling your emotions are life skills that will serve you well. But the digital era kids are not learning any of these skills at all. You cannot empathize with a device, at least, not yet! The best way is to play with other kids and to learn about sharing, turn-taking and giving. No, I don’t think there’s an app for that yet!

9. Kids’ scores in math and reading are not increasing

Look at what is going on in the Kyrene School District. They have invested over $33 million on updating classroom technology. Students get to create Facebook pages based on Shakespearian characters. Some choose song tracts and rapper tunes to match the mood of a character in a play or novel. It is all innovative and very exciting. The only problem is that the test scores in math and reading in this school district have remained just the same as in 2005 when there was no high tec in the schools.

Advertising

10. Kids are getting no input on values and attitudes

The lack of real social interaction with parents and peers means that there is less and less time spent on teaching core values such as tolerance, kindness, honesty, diligence and respect. The devices are great for some learning activities but the parent-child relationship is becoming tenuous.

11. Kids are losing sleep

Dr. Kimberley Young, Director of the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery, has warned that children may lose track of time while they are online. This has serious consequences for doing household tasks and chores. It also affects their mood and they become irritable when they are forced to switch off. One of the most serious aspects is loss of sleep because this impacts on schoolwork the following day.

12. Kids need supervision

Parents should be on the alert for any sort of online addiction. They themselves have to set the example and make sure that there is a balance between more traditional games and online activities. A happy balance can be achieved with these tips:

  • Use Skype together to bond with grandparents
  • Play video games together
  • Negotiate digital break times where both parents and kids switch off all devices
  • Encourage outdoor activities when possible

Digital media is here to stay. They are great learning and entertainment tools but they need to be used with caution and not at the expense of real face-to-face interaction.

Featured photo credit: mzacha via morguefile.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

10 Reasons Why People Are Unmotivated (And How to Be Motivated) 10 Morning Habits Of Happy People 10 Simple Morning Exercises to Make You Feel Great All Day What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It Work Smarter, Not Harder: 12 Ways to Work Smart

Trending in Family

1 15 Best Father’s Day Gifts Your Father Won’t Buy On His Own 2 6 Ways to Care For Your Aging Parents From a Distance 3 What to Do If You Grew up in a Dysfunctional Family 4 How to Strengthen Family Bonds When You’re Staying at Home 5 How To Set Family Goals To Build A Happy Family (With Examples)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

Advertising

Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

Advertising

You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

Advertising

  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

Advertising

Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

Read Next