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10 Things You Need To Do To Be A Gentleman

10 Things You Need To Do To Be A Gentleman

In our world, the word ‘gentleman’ can mean many things. It can mean a generic man, or a solid, dependable guy, or it can be a cloying word for the halcyon men of 1950s advertisements.

Let’s face it, in the 21st century, gentlemen are becoming harder and harder to find. Or perhaps the definition of what makes a gentleman a gentleman is changing and evolving with the times, rather than remaining rooted in older principles and traditions.

So what makes a gentleman? And how easy is it to actually become one? Well, we’ve racked our brains and come up with 10 essential things you need to do on a regular basis that will make you a gentleman and will actually have a positive effect on your life.

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1. Always have good hygiene.

This one is a basic requirement, so come on, guys, be clean! Taking a shower or a bath every day isn’t really optional. You should take one every day, even if it’s just a perfunctory five minutes. Keeping clean not only makes you smell infinitely nicer, it also makes going about your day-to-day life much more pleasant for those around you. Keep some deodorant or body spray in your bag or on your person at all times so that you don’t start to smell throughout whatever the day may bring. Having good hygiene also helps maintain self-esteem and boosts your mood—some things you need to be a gentleman.

2. Always be on time.

Being late is never attractive—fashion and parties be damned!—as it shows a lack of respect for someone else’s time and life that you waltzed in 15 minutes late without a care. Becoming a gentleman means having a focus on other people and so arriving at least 10 to 15 minutes early is advisable. Bring a newspaper or a book if you get bored easily, but chances are that the person you’re meeting will be pleased that punctuality is one of your top traits. If your route to work is often hindered by traffic that makes you late, head out earlier or find a new route.

3. Always have good manners.

This one is not optional either: being a gentleman means being polite and well-mannered all the time, no matter what the circumstances. The way to think here is to lead by example. Imagine yourself as an outsider. What would you look for in a gentleman? Impeccable manners and behavior are always near the top of the list, so make sure that you always use your pleases and thank yous, even if no one else bothers. Why? Because it’ll make you look much more of a polite, decent human being, and over time will actually change the way you behave around other people for the better. It’s nice to be nice.

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4. Always know your clothes.

One of the hallmarks of a true gentleman is that he dresses according to his own style and owns it. If you have a suit—and you should own at least one—make sure it fits well, but not tightly. Everyone’s body shape is unique, so going to a tailor for alterations is worth more than the money it costs, as the right tailoring will fit your suit to your body and not the other way around. Many gentleman often plump for toned down or strong color palettes and investing in some clean shirts, pants and jackets in solid, subdued colors (navy, maroon, black, grey, white, etc.) will give you great choices to build your wardrobe on before you go exploring new styles to find your own.

5. Always keep the swearing to a minimum.

Swearing isn’t cool and isn’t going to make you a gentleman. Well, okay, we’ll admit that in some circumstances, a well-timed curse word is both effective at summarizing the situation at hand and being a cathartic blast. However, cutting down on the everyday swearing will have a positive effect on yourself and those around you and is certainly something you need to do to be a gentleman. Showing consideration for the people around you by not dropping the f-bomb every 30 seconds when you’re angry is not only a sign of maturity, but one of innate calmness and confidence in yourself, something that is the hallmark of a gentleman.

6. Always be controlled.

You cannot control everything, the world does not dance to the beat of your drum, but what you can control is how you react to situations and the choices you make. Getting angry and verbally abusive? Not the work of a gentleman. A gentleman tries to keep cool and calm and removes himself from the situation quietly if he fears he is getting too angry. On a night out, a gentleman never drinks more than he can handle because getting wasted might ensure all his good attributes go out the window and he winds up back at square one. A gentleman might not be teetotal, but restraint and control is required over all vices to make sure they don’t become excessive.

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7. Always be kind.

Kindness is one of those lesser-recognized attributes in the modern day world, but being a kind and courteous guy will always ensure you’re seen as a gentleman. However, don’t let this be one of those performances you put on in public—let kindness into your inner life and reap the benefits for your mindset and thinking. Always go the extra mile to help out a friend or a neighbor. Call your loved ones often—send gifts if you can; just generally be an upstanding guy who cares as much about the new couple in the apartment block as he does an old friend. Letting yourself become kind has nothing but good benefits and will ensure your standing as a gentleman.

8. Always be considerate.

Being considerate means being aware of your surroundings and the way you affect the people around you. A true gentleman always takes other peoples’ opinions and feelings into consideration before doing anything. For example, a gentleman takes his less-than-fragrant lunch outside of the office to eat so that co-workers won’t have to smell it should they be offended. A gentleman offers his seat on the bus to anyone who looks as if they may need one. A gentleman never makes jokes that people will be offended or hurt by, even if they’re not around to hear them, leading by example. Being considerate is one of the fundamental tenets of how to be a gentleman, and one every man should take on board immediately if he hasn’t already.

9. Always respect everyone.

Respecting everyone is something a gentleman always does, no matter the circumstances; and looking down your nose at someone who appears to be further down the food chain than yourself is possibly the most disrespectful, ungentlemanly thing you could do. Absolutely everyone is worthy of your respect, so treat them accordingly and warmly, no matter your personal opinion of them. This also goes for respecting yourself: do not tear yourself down every time you make a mistake and think that you have made a colossal error. You are human, and the best thing we can do is accept our mistakes and learn from them to do better in the future.

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10. Always be the best version of yourself.

Being the best person that you can be is the way of the gentleman. A man cannot be perfect, but striving towards the basic core of humanity and decency is what makes a gentleman, once you dig beneath the suits and the smiles. A true gentleman knows his limits and keeps trying to stretch them, going further to both improve himself and to aid other people in whatever way he can.

Find your best qualities and work on them. Find your worst qualities and work on trying to improve them. The real secret of how to be a gentleman lies in being yourself—but the best version of yourself that you can work towards and improve on so you can be the best ‘you’ you can be.

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Last Updated on January 17, 2019

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

In life, we all need to be conscientious of what we are doing. You don’t need to live a life of stress if you don’t want to. You can achieve peace and happiness in life by carefully building mindfulness exercises into your life’s routine.

Exercising mindfulness isn’t rocket science and as importantly, you can do it. It will, however, take a few tries to get into the groove of things but once you get it, it is like riding a bike, you will never lose it.

Trust me. It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. In this article, I will share with you 8 mindfulness exercises that will help you to boost your energy, vitality and live a more peaceful and happier life.

Why Is It Hard to Live A Peaceful And Happy Life?

Our Habitat Has Become Too Technological

The world has accepted the idea that technology is often the cure for all evil. We have accepted, as a society, that everything technological will make us live a better life without fully investigating the many side effects that modernity brings.

There are a number of technological side effects that have a tremendous impact on your life that the media rarely tells you about.[1] Some of them include self-harm, economic inequality, having less sex, and even suicide. The global community is becoming less happy because of technology.

How can anybody live a peaceful and happy life when they are depressed? Technology advancements, ladies and gents, is a major reason for why we are living a poor life because it has infiltrated our lives too much.

According to my research, Americans spend an average of 8 hours a day looking at the computer screen — The average screen time spent on smartphones alone is about 20 hours per week. That’s a lot! No wonder why living a happy and peaceful life is so difficult these days.

Too Many People Don’t Want to Unplug

Americans check their phones an average of 80 times during vacation.[2] Some admit to checking their smartphones 300 times every single day. In countries like Brazil, India and China, the situation is no different.

The reality is that people are constantly plugged into technological devices and this behavior is literally making people all over the globe fight an inner war with themselves, which consequently makes them very sad. As we know, war is the enemy of peace which won’t make anybody happy.

Listen carefully:

We have a global anxiety epidemic because people don’t want to unplug from their smartphones and most people aren’t doing anything to fix it. It is a sad state of affairs but very real. This obsession with technology is turning us into perishable robots who live terrible lives.

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The era of anxiety is here to stay. There is little doubt about it. We can, however, fight back with the best remedy of all — We call it mindfulness!

Thank God there is an antidote to this whole technological madness. Without further ado, let’s go straight to the mindful exercises.

8 Mindfulness Exercises to Start Practicing

There are tons of mindfulness exercises available for you to engage with out there.[3] In the paragraphs below, I will include the best ones I’ve personally tried or have seen my close friends and family members try.

Are you ready for it? Let’s go!

1. Pray Daily

You should pray on a daily basis. Why is that you may ask — Well, because science has told us to do so.

When people pray, they feel peaceful, almost eliminating anxiety. Worries become secondary, and often gives people energy and hope to cope with the difficulties of life.

Prayer can make you more confident and focused. Prayer also helps you with self-control, helps to control pain, and can protect you against illnesses and disorders like cancer and high blood pressure. At least, this is what researchers from Harvard Medical School have said.[4]

Pray. You won’t regret it.[5]

2. Pay Attention to Your Inner Thoughts

A lot of people allow themselves to be influenced by their negative thoughts. Be different and resist believing in them. It is a bad habit that can lead to unhappiness.

By the way, if you do feel this way, chances are high that somebody other than you put these thoughts into your head.

Here is my secret to combat this cancer — look at things objectively. I bet that if you look at things as they are, you will realize that most if not all of your negative thoughts are only inside of your head.

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If you pay close attention, you will quickly realize that these voices aren’t worth your time. Believe me — Ignoring them and looking at things with objectivity is often the best course of action.

This article can guide you to beat negative thoughts:

How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts When You’re Overwhelmed

3. Smile Often

Smiling will slow down your heart. It will also relax your body because when you smile, your body releases endorphins which in itself has a number of positive benefits for you as a person.

Smile often! You may want to smile early in the morning, during the day, and late in the evening. It is amazing what happens to you when you decide to smile instead of being grumpy.

Surrender your problems to a nice smile. You will notice two things. First, most people just don’t which makes them live a miserable life. Second, if you decide to smile often, you will eventually smile unconsciously which is the ideal.

The moment that you smile unconsciously, you then know that you are truly happy.

4. Organize Your Working Desk

A messy desk will make you less productive and can agitate and overstimulate you. You don’t want that.

When you clear your desk, you engage in deep inner-thinking and your systematic decision making ends up becoming therapeutic.

Most people realize that they are most creative when their creative space is clean and organized. The former often makes people more aware of what they are doing which lends to less stress and more productivity.

Organizing your desk will also make you more energetic and focused because order often decreases chaos which is a condition that often slows down daily progress.

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5. Celebrate Your Friend’s Victories

I love this mindful exercise. One of the best ways to live a happy and peaceful life is to celebrate the victories of others. When you do that, you automatically make your friends in a better mood which makes you in a better mood, as well.

Happiness is contagious! We might as well celebrate others as much as we can. If you find out that your peer has won an award, celebrate with him! If your friend is the recipient of a local charity award, celebrate with her!

What is also awesome is that when you celebrate with others, they often celebrate with you in return. This, ladies and gentleman, will make you feel fantastic. You can’t go wrong with this one, period.

6. Listen to Your Spouse/Partner

God put someone in your life for a reason. You might as well listen to him or her.

I listen to my wife everyday. In fact, I often ask the following question to her, “Amanda, what are your thoughts about…” or “What am I missing about…” It is shocking what I hear back from her. Without her having much context and perspective, by the art of observation in my own nonverbal behavior and the behavior of others, she accurately gives me incredible insights which helps me out with living my life to the fullest.

I’m a firm believer that spouses are supposed to engage in interpersonal communication every day. I most definitely do and will continue doing it. You should do the same.

7. Give Yourself a Break from Technology

You can’t be in total equilibrium if your computerized devices control your life. You must get away from technology on a daily basis.[6]

How do you do that? This is my formula:

First, take this smartphone control test. It is only ten questions but this test will place you somewhere in the human robot cycle continuum.

If your score is between 25-30, take a break from the computer (or smartphone, pad, laptop/desktop) every twenty minutes and stop being on a computerized device after 8:00pm.

If you score between 30-35, still take a break every 20 minutes but stop being on these devices at 5:00pm.

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If you score more than 35, you need to take action immediately.

Limit computer use as much as possible throughout the day. Give yourself as many breaks from the computer as possible. Are you ready for the challenge?

8. Go Exercise

Go exercise at least three times a week. I don’t care if you need to workout early in the morning, late in the evening, on the weekends or during work days. Working out is absolutely imperative for you to live happy and peaceful life.

The stresses of the modern world are too much for you to neglect this important mindfulness exercise. When you go to the gym, you burn calories, focus on activities one step at a time, your mind relaxes, anxiety decreases, you sweat and often think about topics unrelated to your work place among many other benefits.

You must exercise at least three hours each week for optimum results. Why? Just take a look at all the benefits of regular exercising:

12 Benefits of Regular Exercise You Should Know

The Bottom Line

It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. Now that our habitat has become too technological and many people just don’t want to unplug, engaging in daily prayer, celebrate your friends’ victories, and listening to your spouse are among the best ways to be mindful about what you are doing and how you are living.

It is possible to live a happy and peaceful life. It only depends on you.

Go exercise! Take a break from technology and invest in you! Life is too short for distractions.

More Resources About Mindfulness

Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

Reference

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