Advertising
Advertising

10 Surprising Results When You Allow Kids To Do Dangerous Things

10 Surprising Results When You Allow Kids To Do Dangerous Things

When I was a kid, we did lots of scary and dangerous things! It was our way of exploring the world and getting to know how to negotiate it and come out alive. Here are my top ten favorite dangerous things, which have been inspired by my own experience and also having read Gever Tully’s book, 50 Dangerous Things (you should let your kids do).

Just in case you think I am totally irresponsible, let me make it clear that the most important lesson from all this is to let our kids experience the world safely. The goal is to let them gain competence, thus minimizing any risks.

1. I let my kids climb trees

Many parents forbid tree climbing. They say that you might fall and break a leg. But this is one of the most enjoyable experiences of childhood. Actually, my brother was a great tree climber at our school. I remember those large sycamore trees near the hockey pitch. But disaster struck one day. He fell and was knocked unconscious. Hospital, no bones broken, everything OK. The result was that tree climbing was banned forever at our school!

But that did not stop us. There was a hawthorn tree at the end of our garden and there were wonderful trees at our grandmother’s house in the country.

There are loads of advantages to tree climbing for kids. They learn co-ordination, they get exercise for many muscle groups and there is also a sense of achievement. They can learn how to balance and also judge the weight-bearing capacity of branches. They also learn about gravity and calculating jumps.

Advertising

2. I let my kids travel alone on the subway

Why do you think Lenore Skenazy was called the ‘world’s worst mom’? Because she allowed her nine-year-old kid to travel alone on the subway. She is the author of a book called Free Range Kids and she also hosts her own TV show, appropriately called World’s Worst Mom.

She feels strongly that our kids are safer and smarter than their parents think. She also says that crime rates are lower now than in the 70s but the fear ratio has skyrocketed because of media saturation.

Obviously, you need to teach a child about the risks of traveling alone and make sure they know what to do. This will very much depend on the age of the child, their character and where you live.

3. I let my child learn to walk alone

We are now plagued with ads for helmets for our children to wear when they learn to walk! The risk culture has got out of control. “The child must not fall!” But this is the essential part of the learning process. When a child learns to walk, she or he just needs parents to be there. Nothing else is necessary.

4. I let my kids play

Too many modern parents are overscheduling their kids. Learning yoga, piano and now even Mandarin are all squeezing out time for normal rough and tumble play with other kids. These activities are essential to learn about impulse control and turn taking, learning to lose graciously and so on.

Advertising

5. I let my kids play with scissors and knives

Modern parents lock away anything risky. I had a penknife when I was young, and yes, I did cut myself. Lesson learned. Learning to handle tools, knives and implements is helping kids master manual skills. If they are never allowed to touch them they will never get the chance to learn.

The best solution is not to lock them away immediately but let kids handle them under our supervision so that they can learn about the risks.

“Giving in to our own fears and taking over difficult or dangerous tasks sends them the message that they’re incapable of accomplishing these things on their own. Children pick up on these messages when they’re very young.” – Rosemary Strembicki

6. I let my kids take things apart

When we stored old appliances in the garage, I let my kids take them to pieces. Learning how to use screwdrivers, hammers and pliers is a great way to make kids more dextrous. The learning opportunities were also awesome because it created curiosity about how things work. It also encouraged them to help me fix things in the house. Now these things are never taught at school.

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” – Mark Twain

7. I let them mess around in the kitchen

Encouraging kids to cook will stand them in good stead in adult life. Good cooks are always popular and make friends easily. Yes, I know it all gets a bit messy, but look at all the advantages:

  • Build confidence and self-esteem
  • Boost motivation
  • Learn about food and what is nutritious and healthy
  • Increase awareness of risks associated with cookers, gas and other appliances
  • They are much more willing to try new food if they have prepared it themselves
  • They become involved in the shopping, planning, and cleaning up
  • Give them a break from computer games and TV
  • Great for bonding with parents.

8. I let my children fail

When I saw that my kids were screwing up, I didn’t intervene, not unless there was a safety issue or risk. I do not think this was bad parenting at all. On the contrary, it was an excellent way of letting them experience disappointment, frustration, resilience, and above all perseverance for the next time round. Many helicopter parents never let their kids experience these essential life lessons.

9. I let them light the fire

Don’t play with fire! Well, my kids did and Bear Grylls, the UK television adventurer, agrees with me. He would like things like fire lighting and other survival skills to be part of the school curriculum in the UK.

“You empower kids by teaching them how to do something dangerous, but how to do it safely.” – Bear Grylls

10. I let my kids play in the country

Many kids never get to see the countryside. They have never had any real contact with nature. Things like catching fish, tying knots, camping out and canoeing down a river–not forgetting rolling down a hill–are wonderful childhood activities. The National Trust in the UK has issued a list of 50 things kids can do before they are twelve years of age. Highly recommended.

Advertising

It seems that many children are overprotected and overscheduled. They are rarely allowed to try and solve problems, meet with setbacks and failure. These parents are sending a very disturbing message to their kids. They are beginning to understand that they cannot do anything for themselves because they are not allowed to and that the world is very dangerous. Call that good parenting?

Let your kids do some of the activities above. You will be pleasantly surprised, as I was.

Featured photo credit: Tree climbing/ Christina Xu via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It Work Smarter, Not Harder: 12 Ways to Work Smart 10 Reasons Why People Are Unmotivated (And How to Be Motivated) 12 Secrets To a Super Productive Meeting You Should Know 10 Simple Morning Exercises That Will Make You Feel Great All Day

Trending in Family

1 7 Reminders on Building Strong Family Relationships 2 What Happened to Family Dinners? Why We Should Bring Them Back 3 How Not to Let Work Take Priority over Spending Time With Family 4 35 Life Hacks for Kids That Make Parenting Easier And More Fun 5 20 Things to Remember If You Love a Person with ADD

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

Advertising

4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

Advertising

8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

Advertising

I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

Read Next