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10 Surprising Results When You Allow Kids To Do Dangerous Things

10 Surprising Results When You Allow Kids To Do Dangerous Things

When I was a kid, we did lots of scary and dangerous things! It was our way of exploring the world and getting to know how to negotiate it and come out alive. Here are my top ten favorite dangerous things, which have been inspired by my own experience and also having read Gever Tully’s book, 50 Dangerous Things (you should let your kids do).

Just in case you think I am totally irresponsible, let me make it clear that the most important lesson from all this is to let our kids experience the world safely. The goal is to let them gain competence, thus minimizing any risks.

1. I let my kids climb trees

Many parents forbid tree climbing. They say that you might fall and break a leg. But this is one of the most enjoyable experiences of childhood. Actually, my brother was a great tree climber at our school. I remember those large sycamore trees near the hockey pitch. But disaster struck one day. He fell and was knocked unconscious. Hospital, no bones broken, everything OK. The result was that tree climbing was banned forever at our school!

But that did not stop us. There was a hawthorn tree at the end of our garden and there were wonderful trees at our grandmother’s house in the country.

There are loads of advantages to tree climbing for kids. They learn co-ordination, they get exercise for many muscle groups and there is also a sense of achievement. They can learn how to balance and also judge the weight-bearing capacity of branches. They also learn about gravity and calculating jumps.

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2. I let my kids travel alone on the subway

Why do you think Lenore Skenazy was called the ‘world’s worst mom’? Because she allowed her nine-year-old kid to travel alone on the subway. She is the author of a book called Free Range Kids and she also hosts her own TV show, appropriately called World’s Worst Mom.

She feels strongly that our kids are safer and smarter than their parents think. She also says that crime rates are lower now than in the 70s but the fear ratio has skyrocketed because of media saturation.

Obviously, you need to teach a child about the risks of traveling alone and make sure they know what to do. This will very much depend on the age of the child, their character and where you live.

3. I let my child learn to walk alone

We are now plagued with ads for helmets for our children to wear when they learn to walk! The risk culture has got out of control. “The child must not fall!” But this is the essential part of the learning process. When a child learns to walk, she or he just needs parents to be there. Nothing else is necessary.

4. I let my kids play

Too many modern parents are overscheduling their kids. Learning yoga, piano and now even Mandarin are all squeezing out time for normal rough and tumble play with other kids. These activities are essential to learn about impulse control and turn taking, learning to lose graciously and so on.

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5. I let my kids play with scissors and knives

Modern parents lock away anything risky. I had a penknife when I was young, and yes, I did cut myself. Lesson learned. Learning to handle tools, knives and implements is helping kids master manual skills. If they are never allowed to touch them they will never get the chance to learn.

The best solution is not to lock them away immediately but let kids handle them under our supervision so that they can learn about the risks.

“Giving in to our own fears and taking over difficult or dangerous tasks sends them the message that they’re incapable of accomplishing these things on their own. Children pick up on these messages when they’re very young.” – Rosemary Strembicki

6. I let my kids take things apart

When we stored old appliances in the garage, I let my kids take them to pieces. Learning how to use screwdrivers, hammers and pliers is a great way to make kids more dextrous. The learning opportunities were also awesome because it created curiosity about how things work. It also encouraged them to help me fix things in the house. Now these things are never taught at school.

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” – Mark Twain

7. I let them mess around in the kitchen

Encouraging kids to cook will stand them in good stead in adult life. Good cooks are always popular and make friends easily. Yes, I know it all gets a bit messy, but look at all the advantages:

  • Build confidence and self-esteem
  • Boost motivation
  • Learn about food and what is nutritious and healthy
  • Increase awareness of risks associated with cookers, gas and other appliances
  • They are much more willing to try new food if they have prepared it themselves
  • They become involved in the shopping, planning, and cleaning up
  • Give them a break from computer games and TV
  • Great for bonding with parents.

8. I let my children fail

When I saw that my kids were screwing up, I didn’t intervene, not unless there was a safety issue or risk. I do not think this was bad parenting at all. On the contrary, it was an excellent way of letting them experience disappointment, frustration, resilience, and above all perseverance for the next time round. Many helicopter parents never let their kids experience these essential life lessons.

9. I let them light the fire

Don’t play with fire! Well, my kids did and Bear Grylls, the UK television adventurer, agrees with me. He would like things like fire lighting and other survival skills to be part of the school curriculum in the UK.

“You empower kids by teaching them how to do something dangerous, but how to do it safely.” – Bear Grylls

10. I let my kids play in the country

Many kids never get to see the countryside. They have never had any real contact with nature. Things like catching fish, tying knots, camping out and canoeing down a river–not forgetting rolling down a hill–are wonderful childhood activities. The National Trust in the UK has issued a list of 50 things kids can do before they are twelve years of age. Highly recommended.

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It seems that many children are overprotected and overscheduled. They are rarely allowed to try and solve problems, meet with setbacks and failure. These parents are sending a very disturbing message to their kids. They are beginning to understand that they cannot do anything for themselves because they are not allowed to and that the world is very dangerous. Call that good parenting?

Let your kids do some of the activities above. You will be pleasantly surprised, as I was.

Featured photo credit: Tree climbing/ Christina Xu via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on September 16, 2019

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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  • (1) Research
  • (2) Deciding the topic
  • (3) Creating the outline
  • (4) Drafting the content
  • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
  • (6) Revision
  • (7) etc.

Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

2. Change Your Environment

Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

6. Get a Buddy

Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

7. Tell Others About Your Goals

This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

Reality check:

I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

More About Procrastination

Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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