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10 DANGER Signs You Are A Conformist

10 DANGER Signs You Are A Conformist

Massive success is reserved for independent thinkers who aren’t afraid to break rules that don’t fit their worldview. If you want to be happy and successful, watch out for these 10 danger signs you are a conformist.

1. You can’t think for yourself.

If you can’t answer a basic question without consulting another person or your favorite search engine, then you might be a conformist. Nonconformists are confident enough to speak their minds without seeking anybody else’s approval.

2. You wear different masks depending on who you’re with.

If your behavior and personality are influenced by who you are hanging out with, then you might be a conformist. It is natural to curse like a sailor in the presence of friends, while at the same time avoiding curse words in the presence of family or co-workers. This is acceptable, because there might be certain expressions you only feel comfortable saying to certain people. Nonconformists, however, know that performing a different routine for every single group of people they come across can quickly become exhausting.

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3. You pretend to like things to impress people.

If you think you can fake your way into a relationship, then you might be a conformist. Having a mutual interest with another person can create common ground, opening the door for a friendship to blossom, but this growth process can only happen if it occurs in an atmosphere of honesty and openness. Nonconformists roll their eyes at phony people who proclaim, “Oh yeah, I love that song!” when it is clear that they haven’t really heard it and are only saying that in a misguided effort to impress others.

4. You don’t buy clothes based on your personal preference.

If your wardrobe decisions are entirely based on seasonal styles, then you might be a conformist. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good and feel handsome or sexy in your attire, but you shouldn’t abandon your unique tastes for whatever happens to be “in style” this year.

5. You follow a religion because your parents told you to.

If you pray to a God or Goddess for no other reason than, “My parents told me to,” or, “That’s just how it is around here,” then you might be a conformist. Don’t misread me: faith can be a beautiful thing when it is a personal decision between a believer and the Creator that he or she chooses to believe in. A lot of folks, however, don’t go to church or follow a religion because it is something they actually believe… they go, because they’re afraid of what everybody will think about them if they don’t.

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6. You vote for whoever your favorite pundit says you should.

If you vote for whoever Rush Limbaugh or Bill Mahler say you should without analyzing the issues for yourself, then you might be a conformist. I personally have a severe dislike of pundits of any political spectrum, because they are nothing but talking heads who distract us from the issues that really matter, so it blows my mind that any person would vote for a politician just because they “said so.” Nonconformists don’t let other people make their decisions for them; they make their own decisions.

7. You won’t confront bullies or wrongdoers.

If you see a person in your school or office get bullied and stare at the ground as if there is “nothing to see here,” then you might be a conformist. Bullying should never be tolerated. Your silence is a green-light for the bully to continue putting down others. Be confident enough to speak up for people who you witness being put down, insulted or made fun of. Nonconformists aren’t afraid of confrontations with bullies, because they are willing and able to be the change they want to see in their social circles.

8. You say things like, “That’s just the way things are.”

If you think self-defeating thoughts like, “I’ll never make a difference,” or, “Why bother? That’s just the way things are,” then you might be a conformist. And before you play the, “But I’m just one person!” card, remember that countless individuals like Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Rosa Parks and Mother Teresa have accomplished more in their lifetimes than any government or elected body ever could. Nonconformists know that just because something is the way it is, doesn’t mean it is right, and they had the guts to stand up for themselves and say so.

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9. You’re afraid of what society thinks.

If you make important decisions based on what “society” thinks, then you might be a conformist. It is human nature to want other people to like and accept us, but making life-changing decisions based on popular opinion (instead of your personal belief) will not make you happy or fulfilled. Nonconformists know Mark Twain was right when he said, “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

10. You get all your news from a single source.

If you are deluded enough to think your cherished media outlet of choice is free of personal bias, then you might be a conformist. Nonconformists are aware that humans are inherently flawed beings who can’t keep their opinions to themselves. So it is silly to expect any newspaper or television station to be 100% unbiased. Journalists, editors and talking heads are ruled by their prejudices just like the rest of us, and it is delusional to think otherwise.

If you would like to test this final theory from these signs you are a conformist, perform a thought-experiment by paying attention to the most popular breaking headlines at a few different media outlets over the course of about a week. You could follow the news cycle at places like CNN, MSNBC, Fox Newsthe Wall Street Journal, Huffington Post, Salon, First Look Media, and the Guardian. You should notice that certain “Breaking News” stories receive constant coverage at some outlets, while not receiving as much as a mention at others. The only way to stay informed about the world is to cast a wide net, collecting information from several places; because if you put your faith in any single media outlet, you will be doomed to be a sheep forever.

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Featured photo credit: Sheep/Peter aka anemoneprojectors via flickr.com

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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