Advertising
Advertising

If You Can’t Stop Taking Yourself Too Seriously, Ask Yourself These 6 Questions

If You Can’t Stop Taking Yourself Too Seriously, Ask Yourself These 6 Questions

Confident people can laugh at themselves. If you would like to stress less and smile more, ask yourself these six questions that should convince you to stop taking yourself too seriously.

1. Stressing out about a situation won’t make it go away, so why not try to find the humor in it?

Stress is a self-inflicted mental nightmare. It’s amazing how your brain can turn a minor inconvenience into a major headache before the day is over. Please understand that stressing out is the least effect problem-solving technique in existence. I find it helpful to distance myself from events that stress me out as soon as they happen. I replay the event in my head, but this time as a spectator instead of a victim. Looking at the same situation as a person without emotional attachment puts me in my place, because nothing ever proves to be as bad as it seemed with a little perspective.

Advertising

2. Everyone is crazy in their own way, so why not embrace your weirdness?

If you think everybody you know has a perfect life due to the content of their Facebook feed, I can assure you that isn’t the case. Most people only post pictures and status updates that make them look good. Think twice before comparing yourself to a person based on the picturesque life they reflect publicly, because you’re probably witnessing a highlight reel that bears no resemblance to reality. And besides, it’s better to own the weird things about you than it is to hide them in a sea of upbeat statuses and family photos.

3. No one who changed the world conformed to society’s expectations, so why should you be a sheep?

How many conformists did you learn about in history class? I can’t recall a single one. Everyone you admire broke rank with what society expected of them, because there is nothing noteworthy about conforming to somebody else’s standards.

Advertising

4. Come to think of it, society is pretty screwed up as it is, so why would you want to have anything to do with it?

More people are interested in reading gossip magazines than literature. Reality TV shows devoid of substance garner more viewers than thought-provoking autobiographies or emotionally-wrenching dramas worth watching. Let that settle for a moment and ask yourself, “Is this a society that I want to be a part of?” I hope not.

5. You don’t have a crystal ball, so why should you obsess with things you can’t predict?

No matter how much you might wish for something to happen (or not), agonizing about it won’t do you a bit of good. You can, however, take as much action as possible to stack the odds in your favor. Even if things don’t work out as you hoped (how often does that really happen?), don’t freak out. An ability to react swiftly and decisively to a constantly changing set of circumstances will take you farther than any amount of planning ever would.

Advertising

6. People who take everything seriously are miserable to be around, so why would you do such a thing?

Would you rather hang out with a person who is able to laugh at themselves when they do something silly, or a person who gets upset at the slightest provocation? Would you rather have a friend who can cheer you up when you’re feeling down, or a friend who makes you feel even more depressed? Would you rather have a partner who is considerate enough confess their faults, or a partner who is so egocentric that they are unwilling to accept blame for anything? If you can’t stop taking yourself too seriously, considering those questions should be an eye-opener. Answer them honestly and do likewise. If you have a friend or co-worker who is a bit on the “serious” side, feel free to lighten them up by sharing this article.

Featured photo credit: A sad and pensive woman sitting by the ocean deep in thought. via shutterstock.com

Advertising

More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

15 Things Highly Confident People Don’t Do facebook addiction 5 Reasons for Your Facebook Addiction (and How to Break It) 10 Ways To Fix A Bad Relationship 9 Things to Remember When You’re Having a Bad Day Less Thinking, More Doing: Develop the Action Habit Today

Trending in Communication

1 12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do 2 10 Essential Books on Relationships To Help You Understand Love 3 12 Things That Will Always Motivate You to Do a Good Job 4 Need a Mood Booster? Here Are 5 Ways to Get Happier in 1 Minute 5 5 Ways to Help Yourself Advance Your Mental Strength

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on October 13, 2020

12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

Having high self-esteem is important if you are aiming for personal or professional success. Interestingly, most people will high levels of self-esteem act in similar ways. That’s why it’s often easy to pick them out in a crowd. There’s something about the way they hold themselves and speak, isn’t there?

We all have different hopes, dreams, experiences, and paths, but confidence has its own universal language. This list will present some of the things you won’t find yourself doing if you have high self-esteem.

1. Compare Yourself to Others

People with low self-esteem are constantly comparing their situation to others. On the other hand, people with higher self-esteem show empathy and compassion while also protecting their own sanity. They know how much they can handle and when they can offer a helping hand.

In the age of social media, however, social comparisons are nearly ubiquitous. One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”[1]. Basically, you will feel worse about yourself if you are constantly getting glimpses into lives that you consider to be better than yours.

Try to limit your time on social media. Also, when you do start scrolling, keep in mind that each profile is carefully crafted to create the appearance of a perfect life. Check yourself when you find yourself wishing for greener grass.

2. Be Mean-Spirited

People with low self-esteem bully others. They take pleasure in putting other people down. People with positive self-esteem see no need to down other people, choosing instead to encourage and celebrate successes.

Advertising

If you find that you feel the need to put others down, analyze where that’s coming from. If they’ve had success in life, help them feel good about that achievement. They may do the same for you one day.

3. Let Imperfection Ruin Your Day

Perfectionism isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but obsessing over making everything perfect is a sign that you have low self-esteem and can lead to never-ending negative thoughts. This can turn into an inability to solve problems creatively, which will only make self-esteem issues worse. 

Those with high self-esteem disconnect from the results and do their best without expecting perfection.

People with that kind of confidence understand that messing up is a part of life and that each time they aim and miss success, they’ll at least learn something along the way.

If you miss the mark, or if your plan doesn’t work out exactly as you would have liked, take a deep breath and see if you can pivot in order to do better next time.

4. Dwell on Failure

It’s common to hear people dwelling on all the ways things will go wrong. They are positive that their every failure signals an impossible task or an innate inability to do something. People with healthy self-esteem discover why they failed and try again.

Advertising

People with higher levels of confidence also tend to adopt a growth mindset[2]. This type of thinking supports the idea that most of your abilities can be improved and altered, as opposed to being fixed.

For example, instead of saying, “I’m just not good at math; that’s why I did bad on the test,” someone with a growth mindset would say, “Math is difficult for me, so I’ll have to put in some more practice to improve next time.”

Next time you experience a failure, check out this video to help you believe in yourself again:

5. Devalue Your Self-Esteem

People with high self-esteem value their own perception of themselves – they understand that they come first and don’t feel guilty about taking care of themselves. They believe charity starts within, and if they don’t believe that, they’ll never have a healthy self-image.

Self-care is often top of the priority list for people with self-esteem. For some ways to practice self-care, check out this article.

6. Try to Please Others

They can’t please all the people all the time, so confident people first focus on doing what will make them feel fulfilled and happy. While they will politely listen to others’ thoughts and advice, they know that their goals and dreams have to be completed on their own terms.

Advertising

7. Close Yourself off

Confident people have the ability to be vulnerable. It’s those with poor self-esteem that hide all the best parts of themselves behind an emotional wall. Instead of keeping the real you a secret, be open and honest in all your dealings.

As Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, points out, “Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen”[3]. When you embrace each facet of who you are and allow others to see them as well, it will create deeper, more meaningful connections in your life. When that happens, you’ll realize that perfection doesn’t lead to people liking you more.

You can learn more about the power of vulnerability in this TED talk with Brené Brown:

8. Follow and Avoiding Leading

People with low self-esteem don’t believe they can lead, so they end up following others, sometimes into unhealthy situations. Rather than seeking a sense of belonging, people with high self-esteem walk their own paths and create social circles that build them up.

9. Fish for Compliments

If you’re constantly seeking compliments, you’re not confident. People with high self-esteem always do their best (and go out of their way to do good deeds) because it’s what they want to do, not because they’re seeking recognition. If you need to hear compliments, say them to yourself in the mirror.

You can even try some positive affirmations if you need a confidence boost. Check out these affirmations to get started.

Advertising

10. Be Lazy

People work harder when they have high self-esteem because they’re not bogged down by doubts and complaints. Those with low self-esteem end up procrastinating and wasting their energy thinking about all the work they have to do rather than rolling up their sleeves and just getting it done.

This may also bounce off perfectionism. Perfectionists often feel intimidated by certain projects if they fear that they won’t be able to complete them perfectly. Tap into your confidence and simply do your best without worrying about a perfect outcome.

11. Shy Away from Risks

When you trust yourself, you’ll be willing to participate more in life. People with low self-esteem are always on the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment to jump in. Instead of letting life pass you by, have confidence in your success and take the risks necessary to succeed.

12. Gossip

People with low self-esteem are always in other peoples’ business – they’re more interested in what everyone else is doing than themselves. People with high self-esteem are more interested in their own life and stay out of others’ affairs.

Instead of participating in idle gossip, talk about some positive news you heard recently, or that fascinating book you just finished. There’s plenty to talk about beyond what this or that person did wrong in their life.

The Bottom Line

Self-esteem is to success in life. People who maintain a healthy level of self-esteem believe in themselves and push themselves to succeed, while those with low confidence feel a sense of entitlement.

If you need a boost in your self-image and mental health, avoid negative self-talk and the other mistakes of people with low self-esteem. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

More Tips on Building Confidence

Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem
[2] Brain Pickings: Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives
[3] Forbes: Brene Brown: How Vulnerability Can Make Our Lives Better

Read Next