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If You Can’t Stop Beating Yourself Up, Ask Yourself These 5 Questions

If You Can’t Stop Beating Yourself Up, Ask Yourself These 5 Questions

The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of your thoughts. If you would like to feel happy and positive, ask yourself these compelling questions that just may convince you to stop beating yourself up.

1. “Would I say something so hateful to a person I love?”

“A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” — Elbert Hubbard

If you called your best friend an ugly loser who will never amount to anything, how do you think they would react? I bet they would get upset, and maybe even terminate your friendship for being so thoughtless. True friends are willing to offer feedback without mincing words if they feel it is necessary for your personal development, but they don’t do so in a condescending or hateful fashion. Treat yourself likewise, because lasting change cannot come from a place of self-hate.

2. “How would it make me feel if my boss or mentor called me a loser?”

“Don’t find fault, find a remedy.” — Henry Ford

If you make a mistake during your work-day, could you imagine your manager screaming at you for being so stupid? I doubt it, because most people in positions of authority understand the power of positive psychology. Great leaders deliver constructive criticism that empowers their followers to improve, without making them feel like they can’t do anything right. Treat yourself likewise, because it is much more productive to focus on finding solutions than it is to obsess with your shortcomings.

3. “When has stressing out about a mistake ever made me feel better about myself?”

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” — William James

If you spend all of your time stressing out about an unfortunate situation, do you really think you’re going to be able to motivate yourself to find a way out of it? I don’t like your odds, because negative thoughts don’t tend to translate into positive transformation. Positive people don’t subject themselves to a chorus of self-defeating thoughts, because they know they can do anything they set their mind to. Treat yourself likewise, because consistent effort and a refusal to quit is an unbeatable formula for massive success.

4. “Does it really make any sense to agonize over a decision that cannot be reversed?”

“I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.” — Lucille Ball

If you consume yourself in depressing thoughts about past events that can’t be undone, do you really think you will ever find the courage to get over it? I know dealing with regret is easier said than done, but you have to develop mental strength today if you want to move forward into a brighter tomorrow. Mentally strong people don’t dwell on past mistakes, because they know the important thing is to make better decisions in the future. Treat yourself likewise, because you must manage your emotions if you want to be happy and successful.

5. “If I’m willing to forgive others for their flaws, why should I expect perfection of myself?”

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you accept other people despite their flaws, don’t you think you should be more forgiving of yourself? I am fascinated by how much easier it is to forgive another person than it is to forgive ourselves. Highly confident people don’t judge other people, because there is more than enough darkness in the world; instead, they strive to be a source of light. Treat yourself likewise, because you won’t achieve much progress worth talking about until you learn how to accept yourself.

Please stop beating yourself up. Life is too short for anxiety and regret. Feel free to share this article with anyone who might find it helpful.

Featured photo credit: I Died So I Could Haunt You/Helga Weber via flickr.com

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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