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14 Things Positive People Don’t Do

14 Things Positive People Don’t Do

Positive people don’t have a magical power that you don’t possess. Instead of letting stress control them, positive people take control of their life by managing stress and striving to improve every day. Check out these things that positive people don’t do. By knowing how to be positive, you too can be happy and successful.

1. They Don’t Assume the Worst.

It’s amazing how many problems wouldn’t exist if we didn’t invent them. Positive people know that leaping to conclusions is usually a bad idea. Instead of freaking out about an unanswered text (“What if they don’t like me?”), they go on with their day (“hmm, they must be busy!”). Before they decide another person is untrustworthy, they make an honest effort to find out more about them.

2. They Don’t Resist the Truth.

It’s easy to live in a lie because lies can grow so strong that it can eventually make people forget about the truth. Positive people know that they need to face the truth and live with it because making excuses will never get a solution for what have gone wrong.

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3. They Don’t Hold On To Resentment.

Positive people understand that resentment only causes pain in life over and over again, so they let go of it. They choose to accept and forgive things happened in the past to move on with what they have learned from the incidents.

4. They Don’t Forget the Little Things.

Is it easy to forget the little things? Certainly. But positive people don’t make a habit of it. Instead, they express gratitude for every blessing, no matter how big or small. They know it’s silly to think more stuff will make them feel better if they can’t be happy about what they have.

5. They Don’t Pass the Buck.

Positive people realize they are the CEO of their life and thus take full responsibility for how things are. They didn’t get “stuck in traffic” — they were late. They didn’t “have something come up” — they forgot. Positive people don’t claim “they can’t help it,” because they can do anything they set their mind to.

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6. They Don’t See Problems as “Problems”.

The word “problems” is seen as “challenges” for positive people. They believe that every obstacle comes as an opportunity that is yet to be discovered. Positive people take the chance to challenge themselves and improve their life.

7. They Don’t Resign Themselves to “Reality.”

This “reality” most people speak of sounds like a dreadful place where dreams go to die. Positive people know that anything is possible with consistency and hustle, so they choose to write their own reality.

8. They Don’t Expect Something for Nothing.

Positive people don’t fall for “lose weight fast” or “get rich quick” scams. They know that anything worth having requires hard work (often, lots of it). Positive people are comfortable with the fact that achieving success might take a bit longer than they would like (but will be so worth it).

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9. They Don’t Get Bored.

Boredom is a place where creativity, inspiration, and productivity die. Positive people are fascinated by everything around them. They explore the world with enthusiasm and curiosity, asking as many questions as they can. On a similar note, fun fact: did you know you have atoms in your body that were created in a star 13 billion years ago? True story (so you don’t get to be bored).

10. They Don’t Let Negative Thoughts Hijack Their Brain.

Positive people don’t subject themselves to a chorus of self-defeating negative thoughts. When a negative thought passes through their head, they remind themselves: if I wouldn’t say it about another person, I shouldn’t think it about myself.

11. They Don’t Make Comparison With Others.

Positive people understand that everyone is different and has his own progress, so they don’t compare themselves to other people. They are confident about what they have and what they do. Instead of focusing on how others are doing, they pay attention on how to improve their own life.

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12. They Don’t Agonize Over Every Little Mistake.

Positive people don’t look at failure as a terrible thing to avoid at all costs. They know that failure is a possibility when it comes to trying anything new. Seeing failure for what it is (a learning opportunity and nothing more) helps positive people achieve massive success as they learn and grow.

13. They Don’t Think Life Is Perfect.

Positive people forget about perfection, because it’s just not possible. When is the last time you thought, “Wow, this is the perfect day to get in shape,” or “You know what? This is the day I quit my job, move to Santa Fe, and pursue my real passion?” Oh, that’s right: you didn’t, because there isn’t a “perfect time” to do anything. Positive people take action in the here and now, perfection be damned.

14. They Don’t Hang Out with Toxic People.

Positive people don’t let negative, toxic people drag them down. Instead, they surround themselves with other positive people who are fun and inspiring to be with. Why should a positive person spend their time with a person who complains about everything and gossips about everybody? Positive people know there is no good answer to that question.

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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