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14 Things Positive People Don’t Do

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14 Things Positive People Don’t Do

Positive people don’t have a magical power that you don’t possess. Instead of letting stress control them, positive people take control of their life by managing stress and striving to improve every day. Check out these things that positive people don’t do. By knowing how to be positive, you too can be happy and successful.

1. They Don’t Assume the Worst.

It’s amazing how many problems wouldn’t exist if we didn’t invent them. Positive people know that leaping to conclusions is usually a bad idea. Instead of freaking out about an unanswered text (“What if they don’t like me?”), they go on with their day (“hmm, they must be busy!”). Before they decide another person is untrustworthy, they make an honest effort to find out more about them.

2. They Don’t Resist the Truth.

It’s easy to live in a lie because lies can grow so strong that it can eventually make people forget about the truth. Positive people know that they need to face the truth and live with it because making excuses will never get a solution for what have gone wrong.

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3. They Don’t Hold On To Resentment.

Positive people understand that resentment only causes pain in life over and over again, so they let go of it. They choose to accept and forgive things happened in the past to move on with what they have learned from the incidents.

4. They Don’t Forget the Little Things.

Is it easy to forget the little things? Certainly. But positive people don’t make a habit of it. Instead, they express gratitude for every blessing, no matter how big or small. They know it’s silly to think more stuff will make them feel better if they can’t be happy about what they have.

5. They Don’t Pass the Buck.

Positive people realize they are the CEO of their life and thus take full responsibility for how things are. They didn’t get “stuck in traffic” — they were late. They didn’t “have something come up” — they forgot. Positive people don’t claim “they can’t help it,” because they can do anything they set their mind to.

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6. They Don’t See Problems as “Problems”.

The word “problems” is seen as “challenges” for positive people. They believe that every obstacle comes as an opportunity that is yet to be discovered. Positive people take the chance to challenge themselves and improve their life.

7. They Don’t Resign Themselves to “Reality.”

This “reality” most people speak of sounds like a dreadful place where dreams go to die. Positive people know that anything is possible with consistency and hustle, so they choose to write their own reality.

8. They Don’t Expect Something for Nothing.

Positive people don’t fall for “lose weight fast” or “get rich quick” scams. They know that anything worth having requires hard work (often, lots of it). Positive people are comfortable with the fact that achieving success might take a bit longer than they would like (but will be so worth it).

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9. They Don’t Get Bored.

Boredom is a place where creativity, inspiration, and productivity die. Positive people are fascinated by everything around them. They explore the world with enthusiasm and curiosity, asking as many questions as they can. On a similar note, fun fact: did you know you have atoms in your body that were created in a star 13 billion years ago? True story (so you don’t get to be bored).

10. They Don’t Let Negative Thoughts Hijack Their Brain.

Positive people don’t subject themselves to a chorus of self-defeating negative thoughts. When a negative thought passes through their head, they remind themselves: if I wouldn’t say it about another person, I shouldn’t think it about myself.

11. They Don’t Make Comparison With Others.

Positive people understand that everyone is different and has his own progress, so they don’t compare themselves to other people. They are confident about what they have and what they do. Instead of focusing on how others are doing, they pay attention on how to improve their own life.

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12. They Don’t Agonize Over Every Little Mistake.

Positive people don’t look at failure as a terrible thing to avoid at all costs. They know that failure is a possibility when it comes to trying anything new. Seeing failure for what it is (a learning opportunity and nothing more) helps positive people achieve massive success as they learn and grow.

13. They Don’t Think Life Is Perfect.

Positive people forget about perfection, because it’s just not possible. When is the last time you thought, “Wow, this is the perfect day to get in shape,” or “You know what? This is the day I quit my job, move to Santa Fe, and pursue my real passion?” Oh, that’s right: you didn’t, because there isn’t a “perfect time” to do anything. Positive people take action in the here and now, perfection be damned.

14. They Don’t Hang Out with Toxic People.

Positive people don’t let negative, toxic people drag them down. Instead, they surround themselves with other positive people who are fun and inspiring to be with. Why should a positive person spend their time with a person who complains about everything and gossips about everybody? Positive people know there is no good answer to that question.

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More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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