Advertising
Advertising

Why You Should Love The People You Hate

Why You Should Love The People You Hate

“If you and I are having a single thought of violence or hatred againstanyone in the world at this moment, we are contributing to the wounding of the world…” —Deepak Chopra

Okay, so you might have a hard time believing that your hatred is harming people in Australia, but there is one sad truth you about it—your hatred is probably hurting you.

Do you find yourself hating people?

Maybe your stepsister ruined your birthday dinner; your best friend kissed your lover; and the guy you eat lunch with every day sneaked behind your back to get the promotion you were next in line for.

A few months go by, and you think you’re over it until BAM! There he is, standing in line behind you as you pay for your caramel macchiato. You want to run out the door and accidentally spill your hot coffee on him. You pretend you don’t see him, and then make a beeline for the closest exit.

Advertising

What’s next? You’re left with your gut-wrenching, heart-pounding self.

Someone did something sneaky, nasty or mean to you, and now you hate him for it. You’re absolutely right. What they did was wrong but hating is bad for you. It’s unhealthy and you can’t be happy until you trash it (your hatred, not the other person’s car).

People hurt you. It’s a fact of life. Whether intentional or unintentional, the pain remains. Usually that hurt turns into hate. Here are some reasons to stop hating and start loving.

1. When you hate someone else, you hate yourself

by allowing this demon to live inside you. How long do you want to hold onto that uncomfortable feeling?

Advertising

2. To love again, you’ve got to forgive.

If you don’t, you live imprisoned in the past unable to enjoy the present. You destroy your chances for another romance, your next promotion, and a peaceful family dinner.

3. Loathing others makes you feel like an evil person.

Ironically, if you hang on to hatred, you begin to feel like the wrongdoer. Before you know it you’re breathing fire instead of words, your fangs are showing, your claws come out, and your face contorts into twisted shapes. Who’s evil now?

4. Hatred is a personal problem that becomes a global crisis.

Imagine if everyone held onto to his hatred, how much collective hatred there would be in the world.

3. Learning to love someone you hate is a true test of character.

Show yourself just how great you really are!

Advertising

How to Love People You Hate

1. Look for the lesson.

Each hurtful event has a powerful lesson to teach you.

2. Practice forgiveness.

Release the pain of the past. Open your heart and learn to love again.

3. Love yourself more than you hate others.

Instead of focusing on how angry, hurt, and resentful you are, take a pause, then realize how you are harming yourself by letting these negative emotions live inside you.

Loving someone you hate is probably one of the hardest things to do.

Advertising

But when you face the facts, there are no good reasons to keep that nasty feeling inside you, and too many good reasons to give it up. Believe in yourself; you can do it. Lying dormant inside you is an undiscovered superpower to accomplish this true test of character.

Only when you become free of this burden, can you start to live a happier life.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

More by this author

18 Signs You’ve Found Your Soulmate 12 Ways To Deal With Stubborn People And Convince Them To Listen 20 Things to Remember If You Love a Person with ADD If You Love Someone Who Has ADHD, Don’t Do These 20 Things 10 Small Habits That Help You Maintain A Long-Lasting Relationship

Trending in Communication

1 How to Practice Positive Thinking And Change Your Life 2 12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life 3 What Makes a Good Leader? 10 Essential Leadership Qualities 4 How Not to Be Boring (And Start to Be More Interesting) 5 11 Tips for Maintaining Your Positive Attitude

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

Advertising

2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

Advertising

Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

Advertising

Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

Advertising

Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

More About Finding Yourself

Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

Read Next