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Why Motivation Could Be the Most Damaging Thing in Your Quest for Success

Why Motivation Could Be the Most Damaging Thing in Your Quest for Success

“Motivation? Damaging? Is this guy serious?” I hear you ask.

Before you slam down your coffee cup in outrage, answer these questions for me (then if you wish, slam it down with all your might):

If motivation is the answer, then why are you continuing with all the habits that have proven harmful to you in the past?

If motivation is the answer, then how is it that after reading all the books, listening to all the audios and attending all the life-changing seminars, you are still no closer to success than you had hoped?

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While now is a good time to ponder the answers to those questions, I’ll probably lose you if you do. So stick with me for now, and save your self-examination for later on.

Why Motivation Can Be Damaging

What I’m getting at here is that motivation is not key to your success. Motivation is often used incorrectly and gets relied upon just like an illegal drug—as a pick-me-up, something to ingest for some much-needed energy. The effects are short lived, and just like many other drugs, you find yourself searching for it more and more. It does not supply you with a constant source of energy and you can be sure that after every high point there will be a low.

So if motivation is not the key, then what is the best way to stay focused and hit those goals that you desire the most?

Well, before I reveal all, let me tell you that I was once a slave to motivation, reading all the books, listening to all the audios, and I probably even sat next to you at the seminars. But I quickly came to realize that I wasn’t moving forward. One step forward but two steps back was the familiar dance I was performing all too frequently. So I decided to get to the bottom of it.

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Why Wasn’t Motivation Getting Me Where I Wanted to Be?

The answer was ‘connection.’ My connection to things that I thought were important to me wasn’t strong enough for me to pursue them. I just used various means of motivation to try and pull me through.

You are no doubt doing the same!

Motivation will be required when you don’t have a strong enough ‘why’ behind the things that you are doing. If you have a strong enough why—a real, meaningful reason for you to be doing exactly what it is you are doing—then you are more likely to stick to the plan, get the results you desire and begin to experience success, all without the need of motivation.

The more you lean on motivation, the less clarity you have around your goals, your dreams and desires. Once you get to the true core of what it is you want, then you will find that inner motivation to be your driving force.

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Finding Your Inner Motivation

I want you to think about how motivation is serving you right now.

For every mini goal you have, whether it be business, family, or personal, ask yourself these three questions to help you decide whether those goals really mean what you say they mean:

1. Why do I truly and honestly want to achieve this goal?

2. Does it mean as much to me as I say it does?

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3. How much better would my life be if I was to achieve this?

Once you’ve answered those questions for each and every goal you’ve set yourself, you will come to a realization of the worth of each, and only then will you know how each serves you best. If you find it’s the very thing you want in your life right now, then the motivation will be provided from deep within your soul. You’ll feel it upon waking every morning.

Featured photo credit: Motivation. Not all it’s cracked up to be? via

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Last Updated on August 12, 2019

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.

Take a look at these 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become mentally stronger.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

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3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

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7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it.

However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

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10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive.

They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

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13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

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Featured photo credit: Candice Picard via unsplash.com

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