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Why Harry Potter Has Become a Special Part of My Life

Why Harry Potter Has Become a Special Part of My Life

Even as a fourth grader, I was cynical. How, I wondered, could a series as universally loved as Harry Potter actually be all it was hyped up to be? Despite my apprehensions towards the series, when I was 14, bored and without a book to read, I relented and purchased Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Within ten days, I had finished all six books that were out at the time, and was already eagerly waiting for Deathly Hallows.

One of the things I most appreciate about the Harry Potter series is how many life lessons it taught me in some of my most formative years. Covering topics like friendship, morals, love, creativity and motivation, Harry Potter is as much of a life guide as it is an incredible story. Here are four unexpected Harry Potter life lessons I’ve learned from those seven books.

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1. I First Understood Depression With Harry Potter

You can exist without your soul, you know, as long as your brain and heart are still working. But you’ll have no memory, no… anything. There’s no chance at all of recovery. You’ll just — exist. As an empty shell. And your soul is gone forever… lost.

Depression would plague me more later in life, but it was the descriptions of the feelings caused by the Dementors that served as a potent introduction to the very real problem that I would later experience. J.K. Rowling captured the hopelessness that comes with depression, which few people who haven’t suffered from it can understand. Her use of the Dementors in the Harry Potter series taught me to channel my Patronus (inner strength) to push through the inexplicably tough times.

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2. I Learned That Friendship Requires Bravery

It takes much bravery to stand up to our enemies but we need as much bravery to stand up to our friends.

Whether it means not letting a friend drive when they’re drunk or sharing the hard truths they need to hear, being a good friend is not always easy. That Harry Potter life lesson was delivered in Sorcerer’s Stone when first-year Neville Longbottom stood up to Harry and friends. It was an impressive demonstration of the kind of bravery that’s required in or outside a world of witchcraft and wizardry. It warmed the heart when Neville’s courage rewarded them near the end of the book in the form of Gryffindor winning the House Cup.

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3. I Realized That Creativity Comes From Hard Work

I’m not as good as you,” said Harry, very embarrassed, as she let go of him.
“Me!” said Hermione. “Books! And cleverness! There are more important things — friendship and bravery and — oh Harry — be careful!

Hermione was by far the most creative student at Hogwarts specifically because she worked so hard. Her hours studying paid off, saving her friends’ hides more than once or twice. Harry had raw talent, but Hermione was super inventive because she utilized all her knowledge to innovate. That emphasis on the value of hard work is one of my favorite Harry Potter life lessons.

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4. I Found An Awesome Productivity Hack

While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn you house points, while any rule-breaking with lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the House Cup, a great honour.

The students of Hogwarts were far more dedicated to their studies and their school than the kids you’d find at a typical place of education. Why was that? Largely because of the House Cup that taunted Gryffindor, Slitherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. That taught me one most significant Harry Potter life lessons, showing that we all need some kind of “trophy” to reward ourselves for our hard work. That can be in the form of some TV time, a tasty treat or something else that motivates us to get things done. If you have that carrot at the end of the stick, you will run faster. Yet another important life lesson imparted to me by Harry Potter.

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Matt OKeefe

Matt is a marketer and writer who shares about lifestyle and productivity tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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