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When You Stop Posting Selfies, These 10 Things Will Happen

When You Stop Posting Selfies, These 10 Things Will Happen

Like many millennials, I spend more time on social media than anywhere else. As a serial selfie offender, my only excuse is overcoming a particularly awkward ten year puberty phase. However, it can be a fine line between celebrating your self confidence and becoming obsessed with how others see you. There’s nothing wrong documenting your life today, but when you stop depending on others validation of your selfies, the following incredible things will happen.

Your Self Image Will Be Healthier

Sure, seeing a great picture of yourself is a short-term boost for your self image, but ultimately this boost is temporary. No matter what body type you have, a truly positive self image comes from valuing yourself for more than your looks – something that photographs rarely capture.

You Will Listen Better

Too much social media is linked to a desire to dominate others, since one sees themselves above others. One way this inconsideration for others shows itself is through unilateral listening. This means someone only listens to others in order to negate or criticize what they’re saying. Obviously, such a practice is an unhealthy way to relate to others.

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Your Mental State Will Improve

Since excessive social media use has also recently been linked as a factor in some mental conditions, it’s important to balance our interest in online media with reality in the offline world. Some studies suggest an obsession with selfies on social media could potentially be a factor in developing problems with depression, narcissistic personality disorder, and body dysmorphia, among others.

You Will Be More Selfless In Relationships

Similarly, an obsession with posting selfies can eventually be damaging to some relationships. Excessive social media use is linked to an increase in narcissism, which can make you selfish in your relationships. Remember that our appearances are only skin deep. Good looks are definitely temporary, and a good friend or significant other needs to have the personality to back it up. No relationship can be a healthy one if one person is too self obsessed to care about the other.

You Will Have Better Self Worth

Similarly, depending on others positive reactions to your looks in order to feel worthy is a slippery slope. Since your self-worth should be independent of other people’s opinions of you, it really doesn’t matter if others find your pictures attractive or not. To be a complete and happy person, the only person who needs to find you valuable as you. By overly valuing others’ opinions of your selfies, you run the risk of redefining your self worth by how other see you.

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You Will Be More Secure

Self confidence is another area that should not be affected by how others see you. If your confidence is dependent on positive comments and likes on your selfies, it will only take one negative or snarky remark to make you completely crumble. Each of us is truly unique with plenty to bring to the table, and no one should let others’ sarcasm or negativity affect how you see your personality and potential.

You Will Have A Better Attitude

Freeing yourself from worrying about how others see you can be an excellent thing for your attitude. Again, by being too concerned with how others comment or react to our selfies, we give other people the power to control our mood and perceptions. Being more balanced about what we post, or taking a short break from posting selfies, can do wonders for putting you back in control of your attitude, confidence, and mood.

You Will Have A Real Definition Of Beauty

Not only does posting too many selfies overly emphasize others opinions of us, but caring only about your appearance can negatively skew your definition of beauty. It is fantastic to feel confident in photos, but if you start emphasizing your appearance over other qualities, you risk becoming overly superficial. Selfies are a fine addition to your social media presence, so long as you clearly value other things about yourself as well. Try to balance valuing looking good online with involvement in intelligent content, world events, science and technology developments, and concern for others in your social circles.

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You Will Be Less Offended By Negativity

Additionally, growing more narcissistic can make you more prone to anger. Where negative comments used to have little impact on you, relying on others attention to define ourselves means that criticism hits much harder. Avoiding this tendency to over react to negativity is crucial in maintaining a healthy view of yourself.

You Will Be More In The Moment

The American Psychiatric Association cites taking more than three selfies a day as actual disorder. Whether or not you agree with this classification, one thing is for sure: taking pictures of yourself upwards of three times a day will undoubtedly interfere with your ability to live life in the moment. Remember that putting down your phone and experiencing a moment for what it is can be a freeing and powerful experience.

All in all, there is nothing wrong with sharing your confidence and body positivity with the world, but remember that who you are is much more than what is on the surface. Others opinions of your selfies should not have a significant impact on how you live your life, despite how engaging social media is. Everyone can appreciate someone who is selfless and caring, and these qualities are usually most apparent in people with a solid sense of self-confidence and self worth. Growing as a person and cultivating a healthy self-image is separate from the attention we get from others. Seeking a balance in your social media presence may seem challenging at first, but is a rewarding approach to these new and exciting ways to communicate.

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Featured photo credit: Susanne Nilsson via flickr.com

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Last Updated on August 7, 2018

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

Failure occurs everyday, in school, jobs, housework, and within families. It is unavoidable, irritating and causes pessimism.

While the thought of flinging your hands in the air and walking away is all too appealing, take a second to connect with the people who have been there and survived.

Here are 10 famous failures to success stories around the world that will inspire you to keep going and achieve greatness:

1. J.K. Rowling

J.K.-Rowling

    During a Harvard commencement speech, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling outlined the importance and value of failure.[1]

    Why? Simply because she was once a failure too.

    A few short years after her graduation from college, her worst nightmares were realized. In her words,

    “I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.”

    Coming out of this failure stronger and more determined was the key to her success.

    2. Steve Jobs

    steve-jobs-31

      The now revolutionary Apple started off with two men in a garage. Years later we all know it as a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees.

      Yet, almost unbelievably, Steve Jobs was fired from the very company he began.

      The dismissal made him realize that his passion for his work exceeded the disappointment of failure. Further ventures such as NeXT and Pixar eventually led Jobs back to the CEO position at AppleJobs said in 2005:

      “I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.”

      Lost your job today? Keep kicking and you could be just like this guy!

      3. Bill Gates
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        Bill Gates was a Harvard dropout. He co-owned a business called Traf-O-Data, which was a true failure.[2]

        However, skill and a passion for computer programming turned this failure into the pioneer of famous software company Microsoft, and the then 31-year-old into the world’s youngest self-made billionaire.

        In his own words:

        “It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”

        This isn’t to say that dropping out of Harvard will make you into a billionaire, but maybe that shiny degree isn’t worth as much as the drive and passion to succeed.

        4. Albert Einstein
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          The word ‘Einstein’ is associated with intelligence and synonymous with genius. Yet it is a famous fact that the pioneer of the theory of general relativity, Albert Einstein himself, could not speak fluently until the age of nine. His rebellious nature led to expulsion from school, and he was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School.

          His earlier setbacks did not stop him from winning the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1921. After all, he believed that:

          “Success is failure in progress.”

          To this day, his research has influenced various aspects of life including culture, religion, art, and even late night TV.

          Just because you haven’t achieved anything great yet, doesn’t mean you can’t be an Einstein yourself.

          5. Abraham Lincoln

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            Failing in business in 1831, suffering a nervous breakdown in 1836, defeated in his run for president in 1856, Abraham Lincoln was no stranger to rejection and failure. Rather than taking these signs as a motivation for surrender, he refused to stop trying his best.

            In this great man’s words:

            “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.”

            Lincoln was elected in 1861 as the 16th President of the United States of America.

            The amount of rejection you receive is not a defining factor. Success is still within your reach.

            6. Michael Jordan

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              “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

              This quote by retired basketball legend Michael Jordan in a Nike advertisement speaks for itself.

              It would be an easy misconception that Jordan’s basketball skills revolve around natural talent. In fact, in his earlier years,  basketball coaches had trouble looking past the fact that Jordan didn’t reach the minimum height. It was years of effort, practice, and failure that made the star we know today.

              7. Steven Spielberg

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                Regarded as one of the most influential filmmakers of all time, Steven Spielberg is a familiar household name. It is surprising to realize therefore that the genius behind Jaws and E.T. had poor grades in high school, getting him rejected from the University of Southern California three times.

                While he was in college, he caught the eye of executives at Universal, who signed him as a television director in 1969. This meant that he would not finish his college degree for another 33 years.

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                Perseverance and acceptance of failure is the key to success, after all.

                “Even though I get older, what I do never gets old, and that’s what I think keeps me hungry.”

                Bad grades in high school aside, there is no questioning the genius involved.

                To date, Spielberg has directed 51 films and has been awarded three Oscars.

                8. Walt Disney

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                  Mickey Mouse creator Walt Disney dropped out of school at a young age in a failed attempt at joining the army.[3] One of his earlier ventures, Laugh-o-Gram Studios, went bankrupt due to his lack of ability to run a successful business. He was once fired from a Missouri newspaper for “not being creative enough.”

                  Yet today, The genius behind Disney studios is responsible for generations of childhood memories and dreams. From Snow White to Frozen, Disney will continue to entertain the world for generations to come.

                  The logic behind this is simple:

                  “We don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

                  9. Vincent Van Gogh
                  vincent_van_gogh

                    During his lifetime, Vincent Van Gogh suffered mental illness, failed relationships, and committed suicide at the age of 37.

                    He only ever sold one painting in his life, pinning him a failure as an artist. However that did not put a damper on his enthusiasm and passion for art.

                    He would never know that years and years after his death he would become known as a key figure in the world of post-impressionism, and ultimately, one of the greatest artist that ever lived.

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                    He would never know that he became a hot topic in art classes and his image was going to be used in TV, books and other forms of popular culture.

                    In the words of this great, but tragic man:

                    “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

                    10. Stephen King

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                      As a paranoid, troubled child, tormented by nightmares and raised in poverty, it is no surprise that Stephen King grew up to the title: “Master of Horror”.[4]

                      An addiction to drugs and alcohol were his mechanisms to cope with the unhappiness he felt with his life. The frustration he felt towards multiple rejections by publishers in combination with illicit substances caused him to mentally contemplate violence towards his own children.

                      These intense emotions were those that he focused onto his writing. And that’s why he said:

                      “We make up horros to help us cope with the real ones.”

                      Writing became his new coping mechanism, and this is how the master author we know today grew to success.

                      Fail more often in order to succeed

                      Like Albert Einstein said, failure really is just success in progress. If you’d rather not to fail, you will probably never succeed.

                      Success comes from moments of frustrations when you’ll be most uncomfortable with. But after you’ve gone through all those bitter times, you’ll become stronger and you’ll get closer to success.

                      Don’t be afraid to fail. In fact, start failing, and start failing often; that’s how you will succeed.

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                      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

                      Reference

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