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When You Start Being Yourself, These 15 Amazing Things Will Happen

When You Start Being Yourself, These 15 Amazing Things Will Happen

I never used to be who I really was. I used to pretend. I used to put on a show. I used to put on a mask. I used to try and be who I thought others wanted me to be. I think everyone’s been here at some point in their lives, and I’m sure we can all agree that it’s not much fun. When I started being myself, it was one of the best things that had ever happened to me. I couldn’t have imagined the changes it would make in my life. Looking back on it, some of the below are obvious, and some less so. So, what will happen when you finally start being yourself?

1. You’ll have more fun

I smile more. I laugh more. I play more jokes. I’m creative. I’m crazy. Life’s just better.

2. You’ll care less about what others think

My decisions are my business. No one else’s. I make them and I have to live with the consequences. I’ve learned the hard way that if you try to make others happy at your own expense, surprise surprise, it doesn’t make you happy.

3. You’ll know what you want

At the very least, I know what direction to go in. As the dialogue from Alice in Wonderland goes:

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

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“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”

“I don’t much care where –”

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”

4. You’ll make decisions with ease

I know what’s important to me. I know what’s more important and less important. It’s quite difficult to not make decisions when you know this stuff.

5. You’ll be more respected

I was more honest and more forthcoming with my opinion and people respected that, even if they didn’t like it. I wasn’t afraid to act like who I really was and, again, if people didn’t like it, they sure respected it.

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6. You’ll respect yourself more

This was a bit of a surprise in a way. More because I didn’t know that when I wasn’t being myself I didn’t have a whole lot of respect for myself. And why would I? If, deep down, I knew who I really was and yet wasn’t acting like it, how could I respect myself?

7. You won’t doubt yourself

This is not to say that I think everything is going to always and forever work out fantastically. It’s more that I’m happy with my decisions and so I can live with the consequences, whatever they might be.

8. You’ll love you some you

It’s really hard not to when you’re being yourself and having fun and are happy. It’s just an awesome feeling when you start being yourself, and “I love me some me” sums that up pretty well. It’s not arrogance. It’s knowing you deserve to love who you are.

9. You’ll dream big

I know who I am. I’m confident in who I am. I know what direction to go in. Do I know I can achieve all of my wildest dreams? No. How could I? But am I scared to try? Hell no. The time to act is now. It always is.

10. You’ll want to grow

I’ve been interested in learning and growing and developing for the last 8 years. My passion for it increased over time and was especially intense when I was on the edge of finding out (admitting?) who I really was. Now I want to grow more broadly. I want to learn about life. About business. About money. About relationships. And, when you do this, you can’t help but grow personally. Win win.

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11. You’ll feel proud of yourself

It’s not always easy. Like anything worthwhile. It’s easy to be dragged along in life without ever really taking control. For me, that’s no way to live. I want to take control. I want to create my own life. So every time I make a choice that empowers me, that creates something, that the real me would make… I’m proud.

12. Your thoughts will become actions

Thoughts aren’t real. Thinking about something doesn’t make it happen. You have to actually stand up and do something. It’s blindingly obvious, but it’s a truth I rarely paid attention to. When it came to creating the life I really wanted, anyway. I’d always say “yeah, one day.” And I’d think about it. Daydream about it. Wish for it. But never do anything.

Now I’m just being me, I act. I do. I make things happen. I know what I want and I’m decisive. Why wouldn’t I do? What would I be waiting for?

13. You’ll be more relaxed

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”

I love that quote. And I believe in it. I used to worry a lot and I think this is why.

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14. You’ll inspire people

“You’ve also kind of been an inspiration for me, as a lot of what you’ve said over the past 6ish months has really struck a chord with me and made me think loads about what it is I want from life. So, thank you. Just for being you :)”

This was in an email I received after a girl I worked with had decided to quit and go do what she really wanted. I was ecstatic. I’d essentially helped someone by accident, but it felt amazing. This one isn’t about bragging. It’s about saying that when you start being yourself, people notice. Everyone wants to be who they really are so it’s difficult for people to not be inspired when they see someone who’s doing it right in front of them. I’ve been inspired the same way plenty of times in my life. I hope that continues and I hope I can continue to inspire others.

15. You’ll be happy

This might be the most important one. I was being myself and I was happy because of it. Does anything else really matter?

Featured photo credit: Len Matthews via flickr.com

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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