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When You Start To Become Mature, These 20 Great Things Happen In Your Life

When You Start To Become Mature, These 20 Great Things Happen In Your Life

Do you remember when you were a kid in your bed at night? Whenever you saw someone older you couldn’t wait until you were older too. You envied college students and their freedom. Even adults looked pretty cool, walking into hi-rise office buildings with their shiny leather briefcases. But the closer you are to becoming a mature grown-up, the more you find yourself avoiding it.

You probably did go to college and are now working on the top floor of a hi-rise building carrying some type of case that holds your two cellphones, and iPad. You look mature but deep inside you still feel a sense of closeness to the little child holding his teddy bear.

You might not feel that it will happen, but one day you will mature. Your “carefree-whatever” lifestyle will transform, and you will become a responsible functioning adult. You can’t avoid it. Personal evolution is continuous. Life changes you, whether you like it or not. Your perspective, relationships, values, and style as they are now will also change. That’s reality.

It doesn’t mean that life will stop throwing mud in your face. It just means that when maturity kicks in, everything becomes less frantic.

Maturing is an on-going process of growth. Your experiences teach you lessons that will make your life easier.

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1. You will pay off your debt.

It will happen. One day you will be caught up with all your bills. You will get tired of carrying that financial burden around and you will  figure out a way to pay off your debt.

2. You will pay your bills on time every month.

Instead of waiting until the last minute of the grace period ending up with a $35 late fee, you will find an app that reminds you when all your bills are due and then you will pay them on time.

3. You will know (and respect) the difference between what you need and what you want.

There are a lot of tantalizing products to buy and they are hard to resist but when you mature you will know when it’s the right time to buy what you want. If you have the extra money go ahead, treat yourself. Just make sure your bills are paid before you buy the next best thing or Google glass.

4. You will take care of your health.

Doctors’ appointments are easy to put off. No one likes to go through the hassle of making an appointment, going to the office, getting blood work, and waiting for follow-up calls. You can procrastinate and say, “Let’s see if this gets worse.” But then you will find yourself of waiting for it to get better until your ailment needs emergency treatment at 3:00 a.m. When you become mature, you will notice something is wrong early on and make that doctor’s appointment right away.

5. You will go to the dentist for regular cleanings.

Not because your Mom told you to (or because the pain from your abscessed tooth forces you to) but because you want to look great and keep your pearly whites to be healthy instead of facing many more hours in a dental chair as he puts in implants.

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6. You will eat foods that make you feel good.

Instead of eating foods that cause you to run to the bathroom, you will make smarter food choices. If gluten messes up your stomach, you won’t eat it. If you’re lactose intolerant, you’ll get used to drinking almond milk. Healthy foods feel better than junk food.

7.  You will date people who are potential life partners.

Marriage will be an option, not a disease you’re afraid to catch. You’ll realize that spending every night at the local bar with friends is fine for now, but you will realize that you want a real life partner to share your life with and you won’t be afraid to commit to that.

8. You will be able to admit your weaknesses and know how to strengthen them.

Mature persons know how to improve themselves. If they are always late, they will leave extra time to get ready so they show up on time. If they have a hard time apologizing, they’ll realize that and instead of making excuses, they will admit when they are wrong. That’s a true sign of maturity, most grown-ups have a hard time with this one.

9. You will know when to ask for help.

Every one doesn’t know everything. You can’t excel in every area of life. Asking to be mentored is a strength. All the great successful people have a mentor. Oprah had Maya Angelou and still has Steven Speilberg. Michael Jordan was mentored by Phil Jackson and Bill Gates has Warren Buffet. If they do it, so can you.

10. You will be a better son/daughter, brother/sister, step-brother/step-sister, aunt/uncle.

Family will matter. You will call your parents regularly instead of only calling when you need something. And you will know that you have matured when your phone call starts with “how are you?” instead of asking for what you need.

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11. You will be able to control your impulses.

You will be mature enough to know the consequences of your actions and your words and have the strength to not give in to your every impulse. Every text message doesn’t have to be immediately answered. Mature people can wait.

12. You will be able to express yourself in a calmer, respectful tone of voice.

Your communication skills will improve. You will soon realize you don’t have to verbalize every thought you have. You will speak realistically – no more exaggerations, no more magnifications. You will deal with facts and not fabrications.

13. You will become more flexible.

Nothing is as constant as change. It is the only thing you can be sure of. Nothing ever stays the same (even when you want it to). When you mature you will realize that and learn to accept change. You may have to adjust to make someone else happy or know when it’s time to change jobs but you’ll be able to manage it. A mature person knows that even if the change won’t be easy, they will have the skills to maneuver their way through it.

 14. You will have an easier time making decisions.

You will be able to process the pros and cons of your dilemmas and then you will be able to make that decision. It doesn’t mean every decision will be the correct one, but you will feel confident that you made the best decision at the time.

15. You will take responsibility for your actions.

Instead of blaming everyone else for your unfortunate outcomes, you will have clear vision and see that your choices caused those outcomes. When you mature, it’s time to man-up and own your actions. Emotional maturity makes it easier to say, “I did that. How can I make it better next time?”

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16. You will become less dramatic.

Things will not all feel like catastrophic events to you anymore. Things will be in proper perspective. You’ll be able to see a “big picture” view of what is realistically happening. Your mind will process each situation with clarity based in reality.

17. You will accept and respect other people’s opinions and ideas.

When you mature, your ego is aligned. You will learn that every incident doesn’t revolve around you. You will see that other people matter too and realize that other people’s opinions have value.

18. You will not get your feelings hurt so easily.

Somehow as the years go by, you toughen up. You won’t get your feelings hurt as often and as hard as they do now. Criticism won’t bruise you or force you to end relationships. You will realize that someone’s comments might be worth thinking about.

19. You will make smarter choices. Wisdom comes with age.

As you mature you will see that smart choices are so much more enjoyable than fun choices. Sure, everyone wants to have fun but when you mature you will realize that your “fun” choices are causing too many problems in your life. You’ll be so much happier when you make smart choices. Clarity is your new best friend.

20. You will become a better life manager when you mature.

You will get a grip on how to handle whatever comes your way because you no longer have a backlog of avoided problems stored up. Your vision will be clear and you will know how to navigate through each crisis without having to ask 10 friends what they think.

Maturity is a reality. Welcome it, don’t fear it. You will be so much happier when you do. You may fly higher than you ever dreamed you would. 

Featured photo credit: geetkshizzle via geekshizzle.com

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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