Advertising
Advertising

When You Start To Become Mature, These 20 Great Things Happen In Your Life

When You Start To Become Mature, These 20 Great Things Happen In Your Life

Do you remember when you were a kid in your bed at night? Whenever you saw someone older you couldn’t wait until you were older too. You envied college students and their freedom. Even adults looked pretty cool, walking into hi-rise office buildings with their shiny leather briefcases. But the closer you are to becoming a mature grown-up, the more you find yourself avoiding it.

You probably did go to college and are now working on the top floor of a hi-rise building carrying some type of case that holds your two cellphones, and iPad. You look mature but deep inside you still feel a sense of closeness to the little child holding his teddy bear.

You might not feel that it will happen, but one day you will mature. Your “carefree-whatever” lifestyle will transform, and you will become a responsible functioning adult. You can’t avoid it. Personal evolution is continuous. Life changes you, whether you like it or not. Your perspective, relationships, values, and style as they are now will also change. That’s reality.

It doesn’t mean that life will stop throwing mud in your face. It just means that when maturity kicks in, everything becomes less frantic.

Maturing is an on-going process of growth. Your experiences teach you lessons that will make your life easier.

Advertising

1. You will pay off your debt.

It will happen. One day you will be caught up with all your bills. You will get tired of carrying that financial burden around and you will  figure out a way to pay off your debt.

2. You will pay your bills on time every month.

Instead of waiting until the last minute of the grace period ending up with a $35 late fee, you will find an app that reminds you when all your bills are due and then you will pay them on time.

3. You will know (and respect) the difference between what you need and what you want.

There are a lot of tantalizing products to buy and they are hard to resist but when you mature you will know when it’s the right time to buy what you want. If you have the extra money go ahead, treat yourself. Just make sure your bills are paid before you buy the next best thing or Google glass.

4. You will take care of your health.

Doctors’ appointments are easy to put off. No one likes to go through the hassle of making an appointment, going to the office, getting blood work, and waiting for follow-up calls. You can procrastinate and say, “Let’s see if this gets worse.” But then you will find yourself of waiting for it to get better until your ailment needs emergency treatment at 3:00 a.m. When you become mature, you will notice something is wrong early on and make that doctor’s appointment right away.

5. You will go to the dentist for regular cleanings.

Not because your Mom told you to (or because the pain from your abscessed tooth forces you to) but because you want to look great and keep your pearly whites to be healthy instead of facing many more hours in a dental chair as he puts in implants.

Advertising

6. You will eat foods that make you feel good.

Instead of eating foods that cause you to run to the bathroom, you will make smarter food choices. If gluten messes up your stomach, you won’t eat it. If you’re lactose intolerant, you’ll get used to drinking almond milk. Healthy foods feel better than junk food.

7.  You will date people who are potential life partners.

Marriage will be an option, not a disease you’re afraid to catch. You’ll realize that spending every night at the local bar with friends is fine for now, but you will realize that you want a real life partner to share your life with and you won’t be afraid to commit to that.

8. You will be able to admit your weaknesses and know how to strengthen them.

Mature persons know how to improve themselves. If they are always late, they will leave extra time to get ready so they show up on time. If they have a hard time apologizing, they’ll realize that and instead of making excuses, they will admit when they are wrong. That’s a true sign of maturity, most grown-ups have a hard time with this one.

9. You will know when to ask for help.

Every one doesn’t know everything. You can’t excel in every area of life. Asking to be mentored is a strength. All the great successful people have a mentor. Oprah had Maya Angelou and still has Steven Speilberg. Michael Jordan was mentored by Phil Jackson and Bill Gates has Warren Buffet. If they do it, so can you.

10. You will be a better son/daughter, brother/sister, step-brother/step-sister, aunt/uncle.

Family will matter. You will call your parents regularly instead of only calling when you need something. And you will know that you have matured when your phone call starts with “how are you?” instead of asking for what you need.

Advertising

11. You will be able to control your impulses.

You will be mature enough to know the consequences of your actions and your words and have the strength to not give in to your every impulse. Every text message doesn’t have to be immediately answered. Mature people can wait.

12. You will be able to express yourself in a calmer, respectful tone of voice.

Your communication skills will improve. You will soon realize you don’t have to verbalize every thought you have. You will speak realistically – no more exaggerations, no more magnifications. You will deal with facts and not fabrications.

13. You will become more flexible.

Nothing is as constant as change. It is the only thing you can be sure of. Nothing ever stays the same (even when you want it to). When you mature you will realize that and learn to accept change. You may have to adjust to make someone else happy or know when it’s time to change jobs but you’ll be able to manage it. A mature person knows that even if the change won’t be easy, they will have the skills to maneuver their way through it.

 14. You will have an easier time making decisions.

You will be able to process the pros and cons of your dilemmas and then you will be able to make that decision. It doesn’t mean every decision will be the correct one, but you will feel confident that you made the best decision at the time.

15. You will take responsibility for your actions.

Instead of blaming everyone else for your unfortunate outcomes, you will have clear vision and see that your choices caused those outcomes. When you mature, it’s time to man-up and own your actions. Emotional maturity makes it easier to say, “I did that. How can I make it better next time?”

Advertising

16. You will become less dramatic.

Things will not all feel like catastrophic events to you anymore. Things will be in proper perspective. You’ll be able to see a “big picture” view of what is realistically happening. Your mind will process each situation with clarity based in reality.

17. You will accept and respect other people’s opinions and ideas.

When you mature, your ego is aligned. You will learn that every incident doesn’t revolve around you. You will see that other people matter too and realize that other people’s opinions have value.

18. You will not get your feelings hurt so easily.

Somehow as the years go by, you toughen up. You won’t get your feelings hurt as often and as hard as they do now. Criticism won’t bruise you or force you to end relationships. You will realize that someone’s comments might be worth thinking about.

19. You will make smarter choices. Wisdom comes with age.

As you mature you will see that smart choices are so much more enjoyable than fun choices. Sure, everyone wants to have fun but when you mature you will realize that your “fun” choices are causing too many problems in your life. You’ll be so much happier when you make smart choices. Clarity is your new best friend.

20. You will become a better life manager when you mature.

You will get a grip on how to handle whatever comes your way because you no longer have a backlog of avoided problems stored up. Your vision will be clear and you will know how to navigate through each crisis without having to ask 10 friends what they think.

Maturity is a reality. Welcome it, don’t fear it. You will be so much happier when you do. You may fly higher than you ever dreamed you would. 

Featured photo credit: geetkshizzle via geekshizzle.com

More by this author

June Silny

ADHD Coach, Writer, ADDitude Magazine featured contributor

20 Pieces of Life-Changing Advice You Can Actually Learn From Your Daily Life 18 Signs You’ve Found Your Soulmate 12 Ways To Deal With Stubborn People And Convince Them To Listen 20 Things to Remember If You Love a Person with ADD If You Love Someone Who Has ADHD, Don’t Do These 20 Things

Trending in Communication

1 How to Forgive Yourself and Move Forward for a Happier Life 2 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 3 How to Improve Intimacy in Your Marriage and Rekindle the Passion 4 What To Do If My Wife Doesn’t Respect Me 5 13 Simple Ways To Express Gratitude Daily

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

Advertising

Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

Advertising

Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

Advertising

When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

Advertising

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next