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Unexpected Benefits to Looking at Your Failed Dating Life Positively

Unexpected Benefits to Looking at Your Failed Dating Life Positively

When you’re single, spending time with your extended family or attending a friend’s wedding can be overwhelming. Everyone wants to know who you are dating or when you think you will find your other half. It’s not hard for all these questions to feel like judgments and ultimately make you feel low. But what happens if you rise above the interrogations and answer every query with an awesome tale of your dating adventures and the hilarity that ensued? Is it possible to go from being pitied to envied by merely shifting how you view your life?

See the Humor in the Situation

It should be no surprise that men are attracted to women who have a bright spirit. Those who smile and give off a positive energy about where they are in their life and what their goals are exude an aura that is attractive. On the contrary women who are miserable, have a grumpy face and only talk about their life’s woes are likely to push away a potential suitor. It is essential to keep this in mind as you date.

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When you meet someone new, instead of being bogged down and assuming this date will be as bad as the last, take humor from the situation. Use your past bad dates to fuel your future meetups. In every bad date there is a funny story. Revel in this fact. You now have something to bond over on your next date! Chances are he has some stories to share as well. Now you have a common ground to connect on. When you are laughing on your dates you are going to be giving off that positive energy and extracting good, genuine qualities from him. It’s how you perceive your past dates that is going to make or break the upcoming ones.

Take Control of Your Own Story

Similarly when it comes to pesky friends and family (we love you, but back off), it’s time to write your life the way you want it to be. People only judge you based on how you tell your life story. So, if you sit around talking about how lonely and miserable you are and how every man you’ve met has been a total loser, you are fueling people to look at your life as a mess. When you present your dating life as the great adventure and journey that it is, you create a reality to be envied. As the saying goes, the grass is always greener, meaning that your married friends and family are going to be envious of your life!

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Don’t Get in a Dating Rut, Mix It Up!

There is excitement that comes with getting all dolled up and meeting new people. Hopefully you are getting to try new restaurants and go to museums or baseball games. Your dating life is as interesting and awesome as you let it be. Many men don’t like having to think up all the plans, so if there is an adventure you want to take, you should suggest it! Not every date needs to be drinks or dinner; experience life, try new things! I guarantee when your attitude changes about your dating life, those around you will change how they talk to you. They will be dying to hear your latest saga instead of pressuring you to go on a blind date with their friend’s friend.

Reality Is How You Perceive It to Be

Lastly, a change in your perception is going to benefit you! You have the choice to be a happy person! The benefits of choosing to see your failed dates as funny little life journeys is good for your soul. Seriously, what good is being miserable? Take the first step to realize that the reason you haven’t met your match is because you simply have not met your match! Thank goodness you are still on your journey and not committed to the wrong person! There is so much you can learn about yourself and what you’re looking for in a mate when you take the time to date and be the best you you can be. Don’t you want to meet someone else who is being their best self? It is so important to put out the best parts of our personality so that we attract a person of that same quality.

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You will be amazed and excited when you start to see how looking at your failed dates in a positive manner has changed your life. Better dates, better friends and family interactions, and an overall better you. It’s alright if your shift in attitude doesn’t come overnight, but start making simple changes. Start by telling a friend the story of your last failed date in an upbeat manner. Find the humor, the adventure and the lesson from that experience. The more effort you put in to changing your attitude, the quicker it will become your reality and the more likely you are to feel great!

Featured photo credit: The Smile that would make you happy -Lara Cores via mrg.bz

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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