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Unexpected Benefits to Looking at Your Failed Dating Life Positively

Unexpected Benefits to Looking at Your Failed Dating Life Positively

When you’re single, spending time with your extended family or attending a friend’s wedding can be overwhelming. Everyone wants to know who you are dating or when you think you will find your other half. It’s not hard for all these questions to feel like judgments and ultimately make you feel low. But what happens if you rise above the interrogations and answer every query with an awesome tale of your dating adventures and the hilarity that ensued? Is it possible to go from being pitied to envied by merely shifting how you view your life?

See the Humor in the Situation

It should be no surprise that men are attracted to women who have a bright spirit. Those who smile and give off a positive energy about where they are in their life and what their goals are exude an aura that is attractive. On the contrary women who are miserable, have a grumpy face and only talk about their life’s woes are likely to push away a potential suitor. It is essential to keep this in mind as you date.

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When you meet someone new, instead of being bogged down and assuming this date will be as bad as the last, take humor from the situation. Use your past bad dates to fuel your future meetups. In every bad date there is a funny story. Revel in this fact. You now have something to bond over on your next date! Chances are he has some stories to share as well. Now you have a common ground to connect on. When you are laughing on your dates you are going to be giving off that positive energy and extracting good, genuine qualities from him. It’s how you perceive your past dates that is going to make or break the upcoming ones.

Take Control of Your Own Story

Similarly when it comes to pesky friends and family (we love you, but back off), it’s time to write your life the way you want it to be. People only judge you based on how you tell your life story. So, if you sit around talking about how lonely and miserable you are and how every man you’ve met has been a total loser, you are fueling people to look at your life as a mess. When you present your dating life as the great adventure and journey that it is, you create a reality to be envied. As the saying goes, the grass is always greener, meaning that your married friends and family are going to be envious of your life!

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Don’t Get in a Dating Rut, Mix It Up!

There is excitement that comes with getting all dolled up and meeting new people. Hopefully you are getting to try new restaurants and go to museums or baseball games. Your dating life is as interesting and awesome as you let it be. Many men don’t like having to think up all the plans, so if there is an adventure you want to take, you should suggest it! Not every date needs to be drinks or dinner; experience life, try new things! I guarantee when your attitude changes about your dating life, those around you will change how they talk to you. They will be dying to hear your latest saga instead of pressuring you to go on a blind date with their friend’s friend.

Reality Is How You Perceive It to Be

Lastly, a change in your perception is going to benefit you! You have the choice to be a happy person! The benefits of choosing to see your failed dates as funny little life journeys is good for your soul. Seriously, what good is being miserable? Take the first step to realize that the reason you haven’t met your match is because you simply have not met your match! Thank goodness you are still on your journey and not committed to the wrong person! There is so much you can learn about yourself and what you’re looking for in a mate when you take the time to date and be the best you you can be. Don’t you want to meet someone else who is being their best self? It is so important to put out the best parts of our personality so that we attract a person of that same quality.

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You will be amazed and excited when you start to see how looking at your failed dates in a positive manner has changed your life. Better dates, better friends and family interactions, and an overall better you. It’s alright if your shift in attitude doesn’t come overnight, but start making simple changes. Start by telling a friend the story of your last failed date in an upbeat manner. Find the humor, the adventure and the lesson from that experience. The more effort you put in to changing your attitude, the quicker it will become your reality and the more likely you are to feel great!

Featured photo credit: The Smile that would make you happy -Lara Cores via mrg.bz

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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