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Top 16 Ways to Make Yourself Irresistible to the Opposite Sex

Top 16 Ways to Make Yourself Irresistible to the Opposite Sex

It’s not vain to want heads to turn when we walk into a room. Regardless of age or relationship status, we are hardwired to seek validation from the opposite sex that we are irresistible, and we are hardwired to seek envy from same-sex peers.

The good new is, you don’t have to win the genetic lottery to get noticed.

An “average” looking person can be more irresistible than the magazine cover model because inner beauty trumps physical beauty. People may not remember exactly what you say, but they remember how you made them feel. When you make them feel important, you will be seen as sexy and irresistible to the opposite sex. You’ll also have more friends than you’ll know what to do with.

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful that the belief that she is beautiful.” – Sophia Loren.

I’ll take that quote one step further to include men…

Nothing make a man more irresistible than the belief that he is irresistible.

When you believe you are irresistible and use the tactics below, you will be a magnet of attraction like bees to honey.

1. Be proactive, approach others first.

Don’t be shy. At a gathering, approach people, especially those who are standing by themselves. Just say, “Hi!” Everyone is waiting for someone else to take the first step, so they’ll think, “Whew! Finally someone to talk to…I’m not a loser.” It’s also okay to approach groups, as long as they seem receptive.

Are you comfortable taking the lead? If not, what are you afraid of?

Rejection.

How often has rejection happened when you said, “Hi?” If it happens more often than you’d like, it’s due to lack of confidence. When you believe in yourself, confidence follows and rejections will significantly decrease.

2. Smile.

A smile from the eyes is a turn-on because it’s authentic. A fake “Oh…hi” smile is a turn-off.

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Are your smiles genuine?

irresistible smile

    3. Eye contact.

    Wandering eyes show you don’t care. Sustained eye contact makes the other person feel they are the most important person in the room.

    When the other person is talking, do not let your eyes wander and do not look at your phone—unless you tell them ahead of time that you are ‘on-call.’

    Have you been guilty of looking away when someone is talking to you?

    4. Confidence.

    It’s sexy to believe in yourself. Can you look in the mirror and say, “I love you so much, you are awesome?” If you can’t, you probably need to heal old emotional scars.

    It’s a turn-off when you don’t believe you are lovable and awesome. Everyone has ‘baggage.’ If you are not your baggage, you can be a turn-on.

    So invest in coaches, therapists and/or personal development programs that can help you make peace with the past so that you can gain the confidence to be the ‘you-est’ you.

    How confident are you?

    Watch this TED talk: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are, by Amy Cuddy.

    5. Say their name in the course of conversation.

    The sweetest and most important word to your ear is…your name.

    The last time someone used your name in the middle of a sentence, how did you feel? Probably pretty good. Especially with new acquaintances, say the person’s name in the course of your conversation. Since very few people do this with new contacts, you will stand out when you incorporate their name.

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    Have you ever used this tactic? If not, give it a try and watch their reaction and level of engagement with you.

    6. Ask open-ended questions, starting with What, How, Why, and Where.

    Don’t worry if you’re introverted. You don’t have to do the talking. You just have to be curious through asking questions because people love talking about themselves.

    Start with some basics. “What brought you here? Where are you from? What do you do?”

    Then, move on to these questions to take the ‘relationship’ to the next level:

    • How do you feel about that?
    • What’s exciting about your life? What brings you joy?
    • If you had a magic wand and you could design your life just the way you want it, what would that look and feel like? (Questions relating to dreams and aspirations are deep. They’ll be thinking, “You’re amazing!”)
    • Who would you get to be in this world if you were able to fully stand in the power of you? Why is that important to you? (This is a superhero question that will have others go crazy for you.)

    Every answer contains the seed for follow-up questions. If they say, “We just raised $100K for that charity,” ask, “What inspired you to get involved with this charity?”

    Have you ever gone deep with your conversations with strangers and acquaintances?

    These questions work. I once struck up a conversation with a famous NFL football player while eating lunch at the bar of a New York City restaurant. Within 20 minutes, I knew his deepest fears and pains. I had no idea how famous he was until I Googled him afterwards. Obviously, I’m not a football fan.

    7. Share your thoughts about a topic they brought up.

    This shows you are actively listening. We feel validated when we feel heard. Another rung up the irresistibility ladder for you.

    8. Show your vulnerabilities.

    If the conversation is moving along and it seems right, share your fears and dreams. They may give you fresh perspective on how to overcome your fears. They may even know someone who can help you to realize your dreams.

    9. Connect them to someone important in your network.

    “What’s your most important goal this year? Maybe there is someone in my network that I can connect you with to help you get what you want.”

    They’re thinking, “Wow, you are so awesome. This is too good to be true to have someone really care about me. What can I do to reciprocate?”

    When you give others what they want, you will eventually get what you want because of the Law of Reciprocity.

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    Who can you help with an introduction?

    toasting champagne with irresistible people

      10. Keep up with current events.

      “What do you think about…”

      11. Show you are not afraid to take risks.

      Going outside of your comfort zone is sexy and inspiring. “I went white water rafting…boy, was it scary and exhilarating!”

      The more risks you take, the more you will be rewarded with exciting relationships and opportunities. That’s why it’s important to take risks and go deep when you meet new people. The more they know about how fearless and courageous you are, the more they will be in awe of you.

      If they sense that you are someone who is afraid of going outside of your comfort zone, you may be seen as a bore. There’s nothing irresistible about boring people.

      What is something you can do in the next couple of days that is out of your comfort zone?

      12. Show the vision of where you want to go.

      You’re sexy and exciting if you are trying to leave the world a better place than you found it. Have goals and projects. You’re boring if you have no direction, no interests, no life.

      What are you doing to make a difference?

      13. Talk about the positives in your life.

      Don’t churn in negative memories. If you feel guilt, shame and/or worthlessness, you will repel others with your ‘dark cloud.’ In contrast, if you’ve made lemonade out of the ‘lemons’ of your negative events, others will be inspired by your story.

      Happy thoughts create happy energy. Happy energy is magnetic and irresistible.

      Are you over the negative memories? If not, what are you doing about it?

      14. Don’t take yourself so seriously.

      Make fun of yourself through stories about ‘stupid’ things you have done. Laughing creates feel-good chemicals. When you are associated with making others laugh, they will want more of you.

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      15. Follow up with your new friends.

      Follow up promptly if you promised to get them information they want. You will stand out if you follow up because very few people follow through. You will eventually get what you want if you give others what they want first.

      Have you been following through with everything you said you were going to do?

      16. Pay attention to personal grooming.

      You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But the ugly truth is…everyone judges a book by its cover.

      You only have three seconds to make a first impression. It’s hard to overturn someone’s initial impression of you later on. So show up as your best self.

      It’s sad some people don’t take care of the little details. Sloppy nails, scuffed shoes, out-of-date fashions, out-of date-hair, etc. Not taking care of the outside of you is a reflection of low self-worth. It’s a turn-off. Do the work to look presentable.

      ‘No time’ is an excuse. We make time for things that are important to us. If it’s important to you to present the outside of you that is congruent with how awesome you feel about yourself, you will make the time to look decent.

      A note to guys: If you are going bald, the ladies are not bothered by it if you are not bothered by it. If you are self-conscious (think ‘comb-over’), women can detect it. There are many sexy, bald men in the media. The ladies go crazy for them.

      Implement some of these tactics. You will make yourself irresistible to the opposite sex.

      Final thought from a guy in his 40s with regards to inner beauty.

      “When you talk about beauty coming from the inside, it’s really true. Ask any man if he knows a woman whom he does not find beautiful—he even might find her ugly—but for some reason finds irresistibly sexy.

      “He will tell you he can think of several women like that. Guys often talk to each other that way. “I know she’s not that attractive, but there’s something about her…”

      “Obviously, this is coming from some inner quality that is being reflected outward. There’s also the opposite—women who are objectively beautiful but just don’t really have sex appeal. They’re just there, like a beautiful painting or sculpture, but they don’t inspire passion. These women lack inner beauty.

      “Some women have both inner and outer beauty. These are the women who make men cry.”

      (Let me add that women think the same way about guys.)

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      Last Updated on July 13, 2020

      9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

      9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

      It’s common to be struck with a bout of pessimism, or to naturally be more towards the pessimistic end of the perspective spectrum. It’s hard to see the positives in life and become an optimist when you’re lost in the murky waters of negative thinking.

      However, Henrik Edberg, the founder of The Positivity Blog is here to share nine ways we can create a more optimistic outlook and positive perspective:

      “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

      When I was younger — in my teens and early 20s — I was trapped. Not physically, but mentally: by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. This negative thinking poisoned what might have been a pretty good and opportunity-filled childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. This pessimism created ceilings and walls where there really were none.

      Throughout the period when I was ridden by pessimism, my life and I mostly stood still. Looking back, it was a terrible waste. If you are in pessimistic place, you don’t have to stay there for the rest of your life. I didn’t, for I learned to replace my negative thinking with optimism.

      In this article I’ll explore nine positivity habits that have helped me to go from someone who was pessimistic most of the time to someone who is now optimistic almost all the time. I recommend to not try to add all the habits at one go but to choose one habit and to practice it for 30 days so it becomes a habit, before adding the next.

      1. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

      This is the simplest but perhaps also the most important habit I have discovered in adopting an optimistic mindset. The questions we ask ourselves day in and day out when we wind up in negative, difficult or uncertain situations make all the difference in our life.

      A pessimist might ask him/herself questions like:

      • “Why did this happen to me?”
      • “Why do bad things happen to me all the time?”

      But an optimist asks him/herself the questions that open up the mind to new viewpoints and possibilities. A few of my favorite questions for finding the optimistic perspective are:

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      • “What is one good thing about this situation?”
      • “What can I learn from this situation?”
      • “What is one small step I can take today to start solving this situation?”

      2. Create a Positive Environment to Live In

      The people you spend your time with and the information you let influence your mind will have a huge effect on your attitude and how you think about things.

      Watch this YouTube video and learn the power of a positive environment:

      So choose to:

      • Spend more time with the people who lift you up. And less time – or no time – with people who just bring you down by being negative and critical. Read: You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With
      • Let in the information that supports you. Spend less time on negative and self-esteem damaging media sources and spend more time reading positive and constructive blogs and books, watching motivating movies, listening to inspirational songs, and listening to audio books and podcasts created by optimistic people. Check out 12 Inspirational Movies With Important Life Lessons To Learn and 25 Most Inspirational Songs of All Time.

      3. Be Grateful for What You Have (Don’t Forget About Yourself Too)

      A very simple and quick way to boost the positive energy in your life is to tap into gratitude.

      I usually do it by asking one or more of these questions:

      1. What can I be grateful for in my life today?
      2. Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?
      3. What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?

      Just spend 60 seconds or a few minutes during your day with answering one of these questions to reap the wonderful benefits.

      4. Don’t Forget About Your Physical Self

      Being an optimist isn’t just about thinking in a different way. It is also about caring for the physical part of ourselves.

      I have found that working out a couple of times a week, enough quality sleep each night and eating healthy food has a huge effect on my mindset.

      If I mismanage those very basic things then negative thoughts pop up far more often and I become more pessimistic and shut down about the possibilities in my life.

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      So don’t neglect these basic fundamentals. Just caring for your physical self the right way can minimize a whole bunch of problems in life.

      5. Start Your Day in an Optimistic Way

      The way you start your morning can set the tone for the rest of your day. For example, a stress-free morning often leads to less stress during the rest of the day.

      So how can you set an optimistic tone for your day?

      A three-step combination that has worked very well for me is to ask myself a gratitude question during breakfast, read some positive information online or in a book very early in the morning and then follow that up with exercising.

      This sets my mind on the right path and fills me up with energy for my day.

      6. Focus on Solutions

      A sure way to feel more negative about a situation is to sit around and do nothing about it. Instead, use the questions I shared in step one and open up your mind to the possibilities of the situation you are in.

      If you have trouble to get started with taking action, ask yourself:

      What is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling?

      Then take that small step forward. However small this step is, it can have a big effect in your mood and thoughts. If the step feels too big or it just makes you procrastinate, then ask yourself:

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      What is an even smaller step I can take to move forward today?

      The most important thing is to move forward, even if it’s a tiny baby step.

      7. Reduce Your Worries

      The worrying habit is a powerful and destructive one and can take over anyone’s thinking. It used to be one of my biggest obstacles to optimism and to moving forward in life.

      Two effective steps that have helped me and still help me to this day to minimize the worries are:

      1. Ask yourself: how many of my worries ever happened in reality? If you are like me you will find that the answer is: very few. Most of the things you fear throughout your life will never happen. They are just nightmares or monsters in your own mind. This question can help you to do a reality check, to calm down and to realize that you have most likely just been building another imaginary nightmare.
      2. Focus on solutions and the action you can take. The worries grow stronger in a foggy mind and an inactive body. So use the questions in Steps 1 and 6 to move out of your worries and into resolution.

      8. Don’t Let Ideals Ruin Things

      A common mistake people make when making a shift in their attitudes is that they think that they have be perfect and do things perfectly all the time. This traps them from being positive.

      Changing to a positive attitude can be gradual. While you may slip and stumble, continuing this way over time will strengthen your positive viewpoint more and more.

      But if you set an inhuman standard for yourself and think you have to go from being a pessimist to always being an optimist, then you may find it hard to live up to that. And so you may feel like a failure. You get angry with yourself. And you may even give up on changing this habit and fall back into negative thinking.

      So instead, focus on gradual change. If you are optimistic 40% of the time right now, try to improve this to being optimistic 60% of the time. Then, increase that to 80% when you are used to the new standard, then subsequently 100% if you can.

      This focus on gradual improvement is far more sustainable and likely to bring long-term success than trying to reach an inhuman standard grounded in perfection.

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      9. Finally, a Reminder to Help You to Not Give Up

      I would like to end this article with a simple but powerful and timeless thought that comforted and encouraged me to continue on when things looked bleak.

      That thought is: It is always darkest before the dawn.

      This thought has helped me to hold on and keep going when my social skills and dating life was just plain bad. It has helped me to continue on in my online business when things looked like they would never pick up. It has helped me to put one foot over another even when things looked dark.

      I have found this thought to be very true. Why? Because when things seemed to be at the lowest for my blog, business, dating life or life in general, something positive would always happened. That’s probably because being at a low point forced me to change how I did things.

      But maybe also because life has a way of evening itself out when I go on. By taking action rather than give up, something good will always happens.

      Seeing this thought live itself out has strengthened my belief in staying optimistic, in taking action and to keep going even when going through rough patches.

      Re-syndicated 9 Simple Habits to Stay Positive in Life | Personal Excellence

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      Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

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