Advertising
Advertising

Top 16 Ways to Make Yourself Irresistible to the Opposite Sex

Top 16 Ways to Make Yourself Irresistible to the Opposite Sex

It’s not vain to want heads to turn when we walk into a room. Regardless of age or relationship status, we are hardwired to seek validation from the opposite sex that we are irresistible, and we are hardwired to seek envy from same-sex peers.

The good new is, you don’t have to win the genetic lottery to get noticed.

An “average” looking person can be more irresistible than the magazine cover model because inner beauty trumps physical beauty. People may not remember exactly what you say, but they remember how you made them feel. When you make them feel important, you will be seen as sexy and irresistible to the opposite sex. You’ll also have more friends than you’ll know what to do with.

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful that the belief that she is beautiful.” – Sophia Loren.

I’ll take that quote one step further to include men…

Nothing make a man more irresistible than the belief that he is irresistible.

When you believe you are irresistible and use the tactics below, you will be a magnet of attraction like bees to honey.

1. Be proactive, approach others first.

Don’t be shy. At a gathering, approach people, especially those who are standing by themselves. Just say, “Hi!” Everyone is waiting for someone else to take the first step, so they’ll think, “Whew! Finally someone to talk to…I’m not a loser.” It’s also okay to approach groups, as long as they seem receptive.

Are you comfortable taking the lead? If not, what are you afraid of?

Rejection.

How often has rejection happened when you said, “Hi?” If it happens more often than you’d like, it’s due to lack of confidence. When you believe in yourself, confidence follows and rejections will significantly decrease.

2. Smile.

A smile from the eyes is a turn-on because it’s authentic. A fake “Oh…hi” smile is a turn-off.

Advertising

Are your smiles genuine?

irresistible smile

    3. Eye contact.

    Wandering eyes show you don’t care. Sustained eye contact makes the other person feel they are the most important person in the room.

    When the other person is talking, do not let your eyes wander and do not look at your phone—unless you tell them ahead of time that you are ‘on-call.’

    Have you been guilty of looking away when someone is talking to you?

    4. Confidence.

    It’s sexy to believe in yourself. Can you look in the mirror and say, “I love you so much, you are awesome?” If you can’t, you probably need to heal old emotional scars.

    It’s a turn-off when you don’t believe you are lovable and awesome. Everyone has ‘baggage.’ If you are not your baggage, you can be a turn-on.

    So invest in coaches, therapists and/or personal development programs that can help you make peace with the past so that you can gain the confidence to be the ‘you-est’ you.

    How confident are you?

    Watch this TED talk: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are, by Amy Cuddy.

    5. Say their name in the course of conversation.

    The sweetest and most important word to your ear is…your name.

    The last time someone used your name in the middle of a sentence, how did you feel? Probably pretty good. Especially with new acquaintances, say the person’s name in the course of your conversation. Since very few people do this with new contacts, you will stand out when you incorporate their name.

    Advertising

    Have you ever used this tactic? If not, give it a try and watch their reaction and level of engagement with you.

    6. Ask open-ended questions, starting with What, How, Why, and Where.

    Don’t worry if you’re introverted. You don’t have to do the talking. You just have to be curious through asking questions because people love talking about themselves.

    Start with some basics. “What brought you here? Where are you from? What do you do?”

    Then, move on to these questions to take the ‘relationship’ to the next level:

    • How do you feel about that?
    • What’s exciting about your life? What brings you joy?
    • If you had a magic wand and you could design your life just the way you want it, what would that look and feel like? (Questions relating to dreams and aspirations are deep. They’ll be thinking, “You’re amazing!”)
    • Who would you get to be in this world if you were able to fully stand in the power of you? Why is that important to you? (This is a superhero question that will have others go crazy for you.)

    Every answer contains the seed for follow-up questions. If they say, “We just raised $100K for that charity,” ask, “What inspired you to get involved with this charity?”

    Have you ever gone deep with your conversations with strangers and acquaintances?

    These questions work. I once struck up a conversation with a famous NFL football player while eating lunch at the bar of a New York City restaurant. Within 20 minutes, I knew his deepest fears and pains. I had no idea how famous he was until I Googled him afterwards. Obviously, I’m not a football fan.

    7. Share your thoughts about a topic they brought up.

    This shows you are actively listening. We feel validated when we feel heard. Another rung up the irresistibility ladder for you.

    8. Show your vulnerabilities.

    If the conversation is moving along and it seems right, share your fears and dreams. They may give you fresh perspective on how to overcome your fears. They may even know someone who can help you to realize your dreams.

    9. Connect them to someone important in your network.

    “What’s your most important goal this year? Maybe there is someone in my network that I can connect you with to help you get what you want.”

    They’re thinking, “Wow, you are so awesome. This is too good to be true to have someone really care about me. What can I do to reciprocate?”

    When you give others what they want, you will eventually get what you want because of the Law of Reciprocity.

    Advertising

    Who can you help with an introduction?

    toasting champagne with irresistible people

      10. Keep up with current events.

      “What do you think about…”

      11. Show you are not afraid to take risks.

      Going outside of your comfort zone is sexy and inspiring. “I went white water rafting…boy, was it scary and exhilarating!”

      The more risks you take, the more you will be rewarded with exciting relationships and opportunities. That’s why it’s important to take risks and go deep when you meet new people. The more they know about how fearless and courageous you are, the more they will be in awe of you.

      If they sense that you are someone who is afraid of going outside of your comfort zone, you may be seen as a bore. There’s nothing irresistible about boring people.

      What is something you can do in the next couple of days that is out of your comfort zone?

      12. Show the vision of where you want to go.

      You’re sexy and exciting if you are trying to leave the world a better place than you found it. Have goals and projects. You’re boring if you have no direction, no interests, no life.

      What are you doing to make a difference?

      13. Talk about the positives in your life.

      Don’t churn in negative memories. If you feel guilt, shame and/or worthlessness, you will repel others with your ‘dark cloud.’ In contrast, if you’ve made lemonade out of the ‘lemons’ of your negative events, others will be inspired by your story.

      Happy thoughts create happy energy. Happy energy is magnetic and irresistible.

      Are you over the negative memories? If not, what are you doing about it?

      14. Don’t take yourself so seriously.

      Make fun of yourself through stories about ‘stupid’ things you have done. Laughing creates feel-good chemicals. When you are associated with making others laugh, they will want more of you.

      Advertising

      15. Follow up with your new friends.

      Follow up promptly if you promised to get them information they want. You will stand out if you follow up because very few people follow through. You will eventually get what you want if you give others what they want first.

      Have you been following through with everything you said you were going to do?

      16. Pay attention to personal grooming.

      You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But the ugly truth is…everyone judges a book by its cover.

      You only have three seconds to make a first impression. It’s hard to overturn someone’s initial impression of you later on. So show up as your best self.

      It’s sad some people don’t take care of the little details. Sloppy nails, scuffed shoes, out-of-date fashions, out-of date-hair, etc. Not taking care of the outside of you is a reflection of low self-worth. It’s a turn-off. Do the work to look presentable.

      ‘No time’ is an excuse. We make time for things that are important to us. If it’s important to you to present the outside of you that is congruent with how awesome you feel about yourself, you will make the time to look decent.

      A note to guys: If you are going bald, the ladies are not bothered by it if you are not bothered by it. If you are self-conscious (think ‘comb-over’), women can detect it. There are many sexy, bald men in the media. The ladies go crazy for them.

      Implement some of these tactics. You will make yourself irresistible to the opposite sex.

      Final thought from a guy in his 40s with regards to inner beauty.

      “When you talk about beauty coming from the inside, it’s really true. Ask any man if he knows a woman whom he does not find beautiful—he even might find her ugly—but for some reason finds irresistibly sexy.

      “He will tell you he can think of several women like that. Guys often talk to each other that way. “I know she’s not that attractive, but there’s something about her…”

      “Obviously, this is coming from some inner quality that is being reflected outward. There’s also the opposite—women who are objectively beautiful but just don’t really have sex appeal. They’re just there, like a beautiful painting or sculpture, but they don’t inspire passion. These women lack inner beauty.

      “Some women have both inner and outer beauty. These are the women who make men cry.”

      (Let me add that women think the same way about guys.)

      More by this author

      What People Who Give Off Great First Impressions Do Differently life passion people Not Leading a Life of Passion? You Will After Reading This attractive couple Top 16 Ways to Make Yourself Irresistible to the Opposite Sex get unstuck and moving forward 7 Powerful Questions to Get Unstuck Instantly and Moving Forward Again sad man and woman Overcome Sadness: 19 Simple Things You Didn’t Realize You Can Do

      Trending in Communication

      1 How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up 2 How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late 3 7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer 4 If You Think You’re in an Unhappy Marriage, Remember These 5 Things 5 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again

      Read Next

      Advertising
      Advertising
      Advertising

      Last Updated on March 14, 2019

      7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

      7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

      Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

      For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

      Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

      1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

      A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

      It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

      It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

      How it helps you:

      If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

      Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

      2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

      Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

      Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

      Advertising

      How it helps you:

      Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

      Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

      If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

      Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

      3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

      Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

      Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

      How it helps you:

      This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

      For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

      Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

      Advertising

      A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

      4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

      To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

      A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

      How it helps you:

      One word: hierarchy.

      All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

      In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

      If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

      5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

      Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

      Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

      How it helps you:

      Advertising

      Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

      If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

      This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

      6. What do you like about working here?

      This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

      Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

      How it helps you:

      You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

      Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

      Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

      7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

      What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

      As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

      Advertising

      How it helps you:

      What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

      First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

      Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

      Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

      Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

      Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

      Making Your Interview Work for You

      Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

      Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

      More Resources About Job Interviews

      Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

      Read Next