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Top 16 Ways to Make Yourself Irresistible to the Opposite Sex

Top 16 Ways to Make Yourself Irresistible to the Opposite Sex

It’s not vain to want heads to turn when we walk into a room. Regardless of age or relationship status, we are hardwired to seek validation from the opposite sex that we are irresistible, and we are hardwired to seek envy from same-sex peers.

The good new is, you don’t have to win the genetic lottery to get noticed.

An “average” looking person can be more irresistible than the magazine cover model because inner beauty trumps physical beauty. People may not remember exactly what you say, but they remember how you made them feel. When you make them feel important, you will be seen as sexy and irresistible to the opposite sex. You’ll also have more friends than you’ll know what to do with.

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful that the belief that she is beautiful.” – Sophia Loren.

I’ll take that quote one step further to include men…

Nothing make a man more irresistible than the belief that he is irresistible.

When you believe you are irresistible and use the tactics below, you will be a magnet of attraction like bees to honey.

1. Be proactive, approach others first.

Don’t be shy. At a gathering, approach people, especially those who are standing by themselves. Just say, “Hi!” Everyone is waiting for someone else to take the first step, so they’ll think, “Whew! Finally someone to talk to…I’m not a loser.” It’s also okay to approach groups, as long as they seem receptive.

Are you comfortable taking the lead? If not, what are you afraid of?

Rejection.

How often has rejection happened when you said, “Hi?” If it happens more often than you’d like, it’s due to lack of confidence. When you believe in yourself, confidence follows and rejections will significantly decrease.

2. Smile.

A smile from the eyes is a turn-on because it’s authentic. A fake “Oh…hi” smile is a turn-off.

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Are your smiles genuine?

irresistible smile

    3. Eye contact.

    Wandering eyes show you don’t care. Sustained eye contact makes the other person feel they are the most important person in the room.

    When the other person is talking, do not let your eyes wander and do not look at your phone—unless you tell them ahead of time that you are ‘on-call.’

    Have you been guilty of looking away when someone is talking to you?

    4. Confidence.

    It’s sexy to believe in yourself. Can you look in the mirror and say, “I love you so much, you are awesome?” If you can’t, you probably need to heal old emotional scars.

    It’s a turn-off when you don’t believe you are lovable and awesome. Everyone has ‘baggage.’ If you are not your baggage, you can be a turn-on.

    So invest in coaches, therapists and/or personal development programs that can help you make peace with the past so that you can gain the confidence to be the ‘you-est’ you.

    How confident are you?

    Watch this TED talk: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are, by Amy Cuddy.

    5. Say their name in the course of conversation.

    The sweetest and most important word to your ear is…your name.

    The last time someone used your name in the middle of a sentence, how did you feel? Probably pretty good. Especially with new acquaintances, say the person’s name in the course of your conversation. Since very few people do this with new contacts, you will stand out when you incorporate their name.

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    Have you ever used this tactic? If not, give it a try and watch their reaction and level of engagement with you.

    6. Ask open-ended questions, starting with What, How, Why, and Where.

    Don’t worry if you’re introverted. You don’t have to do the talking. You just have to be curious through asking questions because people love talking about themselves.

    Start with some basics. “What brought you here? Where are you from? What do you do?”

    Then, move on to these questions to take the ‘relationship’ to the next level:

    • How do you feel about that?
    • What’s exciting about your life? What brings you joy?
    • If you had a magic wand and you could design your life just the way you want it, what would that look and feel like? (Questions relating to dreams and aspirations are deep. They’ll be thinking, “You’re amazing!”)
    • Who would you get to be in this world if you were able to fully stand in the power of you? Why is that important to you? (This is a superhero question that will have others go crazy for you.)

    Every answer contains the seed for follow-up questions. If they say, “We just raised $100K for that charity,” ask, “What inspired you to get involved with this charity?”

    Have you ever gone deep with your conversations with strangers and acquaintances?

    These questions work. I once struck up a conversation with a famous NFL football player while eating lunch at the bar of a New York City restaurant. Within 20 minutes, I knew his deepest fears and pains. I had no idea how famous he was until I Googled him afterwards. Obviously, I’m not a football fan.

    7. Share your thoughts about a topic they brought up.

    This shows you are actively listening. We feel validated when we feel heard. Another rung up the irresistibility ladder for you.

    8. Show your vulnerabilities.

    If the conversation is moving along and it seems right, share your fears and dreams. They may give you fresh perspective on how to overcome your fears. They may even know someone who can help you to realize your dreams.

    9. Connect them to someone important in your network.

    “What’s your most important goal this year? Maybe there is someone in my network that I can connect you with to help you get what you want.”

    They’re thinking, “Wow, you are so awesome. This is too good to be true to have someone really care about me. What can I do to reciprocate?”

    When you give others what they want, you will eventually get what you want because of the Law of Reciprocity.

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    Who can you help with an introduction?

    toasting champagne with irresistible people

      10. Keep up with current events.

      “What do you think about…”

      11. Show you are not afraid to take risks.

      Going outside of your comfort zone is sexy and inspiring. “I went white water rafting…boy, was it scary and exhilarating!”

      The more risks you take, the more you will be rewarded with exciting relationships and opportunities. That’s why it’s important to take risks and go deep when you meet new people. The more they know about how fearless and courageous you are, the more they will be in awe of you.

      If they sense that you are someone who is afraid of going outside of your comfort zone, you may be seen as a bore. There’s nothing irresistible about boring people.

      What is something you can do in the next couple of days that is out of your comfort zone?

      12. Show the vision of where you want to go.

      You’re sexy and exciting if you are trying to leave the world a better place than you found it. Have goals and projects. You’re boring if you have no direction, no interests, no life.

      What are you doing to make a difference?

      13. Talk about the positives in your life.

      Don’t churn in negative memories. If you feel guilt, shame and/or worthlessness, you will repel others with your ‘dark cloud.’ In contrast, if you’ve made lemonade out of the ‘lemons’ of your negative events, others will be inspired by your story.

      Happy thoughts create happy energy. Happy energy is magnetic and irresistible.

      Are you over the negative memories? If not, what are you doing about it?

      14. Don’t take yourself so seriously.

      Make fun of yourself through stories about ‘stupid’ things you have done. Laughing creates feel-good chemicals. When you are associated with making others laugh, they will want more of you.

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      15. Follow up with your new friends.

      Follow up promptly if you promised to get them information they want. You will stand out if you follow up because very few people follow through. You will eventually get what you want if you give others what they want first.

      Have you been following through with everything you said you were going to do?

      16. Pay attention to personal grooming.

      You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But the ugly truth is…everyone judges a book by its cover.

      You only have three seconds to make a first impression. It’s hard to overturn someone’s initial impression of you later on. So show up as your best self.

      It’s sad some people don’t take care of the little details. Sloppy nails, scuffed shoes, out-of-date fashions, out-of date-hair, etc. Not taking care of the outside of you is a reflection of low self-worth. It’s a turn-off. Do the work to look presentable.

      ‘No time’ is an excuse. We make time for things that are important to us. If it’s important to you to present the outside of you that is congruent with how awesome you feel about yourself, you will make the time to look decent.

      A note to guys: If you are going bald, the ladies are not bothered by it if you are not bothered by it. If you are self-conscious (think ‘comb-over’), women can detect it. There are many sexy, bald men in the media. The ladies go crazy for them.

      Implement some of these tactics. You will make yourself irresistible to the opposite sex.

      Final thought from a guy in his 40s with regards to inner beauty.

      “When you talk about beauty coming from the inside, it’s really true. Ask any man if he knows a woman whom he does not find beautiful—he even might find her ugly—but for some reason finds irresistibly sexy.

      “He will tell you he can think of several women like that. Guys often talk to each other that way. “I know she’s not that attractive, but there’s something about her…”

      “Obviously, this is coming from some inner quality that is being reflected outward. There’s also the opposite—women who are objectively beautiful but just don’t really have sex appeal. They’re just there, like a beautiful painting or sculpture, but they don’t inspire passion. These women lack inner beauty.

      “Some women have both inner and outer beauty. These are the women who make men cry.”

      (Let me add that women think the same way about guys.)

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      Last Updated on April 14, 2021

      How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

      How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

      We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

      Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

      Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

      Expressing Anger

      Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

      Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

      Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

      Being Passive-Aggressive

      This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

      Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

      This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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      Poorly-Timed

      Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

      An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

      Ongoing Anger

      Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

      Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

      Healthy Ways to Express Anger

      What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

      Being Honest

      Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

      Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

      Being Direct

      Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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      Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

      Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

      Being Timely

      When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

      Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

      Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

      How to Deal With Anger

      If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

      1. Slow Down

      From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

      In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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      When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

      2. Focus on the “I”

      Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

      When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

      3. Work out

      When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

      Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

      Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

      If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

      4. Seek Help When Needed

      There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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      5. Practice Relaxation

      We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

      That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

      Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

      6. Laugh

      Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

      7. Be Grateful

      It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

      Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

      Final Thoughts

      Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

      During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

      Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

      More Resources on Anger Management

      Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

      Reference

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