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Top 10 Fears That Hold Us Back In Life

Top 10 Fears That Hold Us Back In Life

Fear can hold you back in your career, your relationships, and in achieving your dreams. Review the top fears that hold people back and identify which fears you’re determined to overcome

1. The Fear of Rejection

Many people avoid entering into new relationships or trying to meet new people due to a fear of rejection. Even married people often avoid approaching a long-time spouse to ask for something due to a fear that the person will say no. Whether you’ve got a fear of your boss declining your request for a raise, or a fear that the attractive person won’t go on a date with you, don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back and do it anyway.

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2. The Fear of Failure

One of the top fears in the world is a fear of failure. Many people won’t try something new unless they’re confident they can win. Failure is a normal part of life and learning from failure can help you find eventual success.

3. The Fear of Uncertainty

The fear of uncertainty often prevents people from trying something different. They often worry, “What if I don’t like it?” This fear can prevent people from trying new things or doing things differently from the way they’ve always been done.

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4. The Fear of Loneliness

Sometimes people stay in bad relationships or resist living alone due to their fear of loneliness. Learning how to tolerate feeling lonely and finding ways to keep yourself company can help manage the fear of loneliness.

5. The Fear of Change

We live in a rapidly changing world. However, many people fear change. As a result, they resist it. The fear of change can cause people to become stagnant and they may miss out on a lot of really good opportunities in life.

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6. The Fear of Loss of Freedom

Although we should have some fear of the loss of freedom, some people allow this fear to hold them back. Many people enjoy the freedom they have as a single person and as a result, they avoid serious relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to tolerate the loss of the freedom. Although some loss of freedom does accompany a serious relationship, it’s important to balance independence with dependence and maintain some freedoms.

7. The Fear of Being Judged

People who worry that they’ll be judged negatively by others often shy away from social opportunities or chances to advance their career. People who adopt this fear often exaggerate how others will perceive them negatively and underestimate their ability to tolerate not being well-received by others.

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8. The Fear of Something Bad Happening

Bad things happen in life. It’s inevitable. However, when people constantly fear something bad happening, it often restricts their activities. They may avoid doing a lot of things or going to certain places due to an unrealistic fear that bad things may happen.

9. The Fear of Getting Hurt

We should all have some fear of getting hurt. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t look both ways before you crossed the street. However, people who have a big fear of being emotionally hurt often refuse to enter into relationships. They may avoid friendships, keep family at an arm’s length, and skip romantic relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to handle getting hurt.

10. The Fear of Inadequacy

One of the top fears many people share is that they’re just not good enough. They may pass up opportunities for a promotion or may decline an opportunity to lead a group because they worry that they’re inadequate. Often, they overcompensate for their fears by trying to be a perfectionist but remain plagued by thoughts that they just don’t measure up to other people.

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Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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