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Those Who Fear Rejection Will Know How To Embrace It After Reading This

Those Who Fear Rejection Will Know How To Embrace It After Reading This

Have you ever felt paralyzed and worried about being judged by others?

Being rejected is painful. It’s perhaps one of the worst things to ever happen to your emotions and takes a toll on you after a while if you don’t know how to deal with it.

It’s the reason many people fear rejection and stay where they are. They often resort to other means of comfort like staying indoors and watching TV shows and movies versus going out and living life for real.

We create buffers all around us to avoid the pain of failure and rejection, and don’t seem to realise that we’re doing it.

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Here are 15 ways to help you overcome it once and for all and to finally live the life you’ve always imagined.

1) Let go of thinking it’s all over when rejection happens.

There has never been a time where the world collapsed on top of me whenever I experienced failure. It may have felt like it at the time but the reality is, it is mostly in your head anyway and usually built up to be a lot bigger than it actually is.

2) Re-evaluate what a rejection really means.

Are you going to view rejection as a character assassination or as a learning experience? Every successful person I have ever known started off being terrible at their craft, yet over a period of time slowly hacked away at their craft and got better and better at it.

3) Let go of the need to always be right.

There really is no such thing as right and wrong, only opinions. An opinion only becomes a fact when it’s told by someone perceived to be an authority. But, even then, become suspicious of it. You are free to think and believe whatever you choose to believe.

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If you truly believe that you’re a failure, then there’s nothing to stop you from believing it besides you.

4) Use rejection as an opportunity to grow.

As was said in #2, no one ever achieved anything in life without making mistakes along the way. Every rejection is an opportunity to re-evaluate your actions and a chance to adjust your sail in a different direction.  You will learn things which you could not have known any other way.

5) Realize that you are not special.

After all’s said and done, no one is really going to care about your day or whether you succeeded or failed. This is the first step to to understanding that what everyone else thinks of you really isn’t something to worry much about.

6) Take pride in yourself first.

When you truly realize that your thoughts and beliefs are what count, you begin to see that at the end of the day, only you matter when it comes to personal responsibility. Do what you can in your life, and whether you are praised or criticized, take pride in having done your best.

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7) Keep an open mind.

Nothing is set in stone on this world. What you might think at this present moment may well change in the near future. Don’t count the thoughts and feelings of the billions of other people currently alive. Learn to leave things open to interpretation. Nothing is what it seems.

8) Stop taking yourself too seriously.

If you’re a high achiever, you will naturally want the best from yourself. But try to understand that you can’t be perfect all the time. You’re not infallible, nor are you made of iron. The minute you get over your perceived greatness is when you’ll begin to see that you are just another human being trying to get by like everyone else.

9) Understand that rejection is a part of life.

When you view the world objectively, you begin to understand that rejection happens all the time. However, you can choose to overlook the criticisms that are of no value to you. Therefore, rejection only ever becomes a rejection when you place importance on it. Your reaction is something you have direct control over.

10) Focus on failure, not success.

If you attempt anything in life not expecting to succeed, something interesting begins to happen. Not only do you put less pressure on yourself, but your journey towards proficiency becomes much more fun in the process. Expectation is the prime reason for people quitting before reaching their goals.  Be hopeful and confident, but acknowledge that you might not succeed perfectly every time.

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11) Have the courage to challenge your fears consistently.

No one ever grew in life without pushing limits. The only limit we have is the limit we set for ourselves and our imaginations. Learn to challenge your beliefs and fears on a daily basis in order to see and understand what your true limits are. Thoughts are just thoughts, and you have control over them.

12) See each problem as a challenge and not an obstacle.

Every obstacle is something that was put there to show you what your current boundaries are. The person who is willing to challenge those boundaries is usually the person who achieves more.

13) View life as a video game.

Whenever you reach a new level in your life, there is always higher level that is perceived to be harder and more challenging to overcome. Over time, with consistent effort, each level will seem easy to overcome.  Keep at it until it gets easier.

14) Learn to embrace your flaws.

As with #5, You have weaknesses like everyone else and won’t know how to overcome them until you learn to recognize and accept them. The first step to growth is acceptance of your flaws. The second is using your weaknesses to identify your strengths  building those over a period of time.

15) Stop caring what other people think.

At the end of the day, no one really cares about you and whether or not you exist in the world. Everyone has his or her own individual problems in life and are simply doing exactly what you’re doing right now when it comes to worries, anxieties and frustrations.

The minute you take people off the pedestal is when you begin to live your life free from external judgement. It is your life to live after all, and it is now up to you to go out and claim it.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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