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Those Who Fear Rejection Will Know How To Embrace It After Reading This

Those Who Fear Rejection Will Know How To Embrace It After Reading This

Have you ever felt paralyzed and worried about being judged by others?

Being rejected is painful. It’s perhaps one of the worst things to ever happen to your emotions and takes a toll on you after a while if you don’t know how to deal with it.

It’s the reason many people fear rejection and stay where they are. They often resort to other means of comfort like staying indoors and watching TV shows and movies versus going out and living life for real.

We create buffers all around us to avoid the pain of failure and rejection, and don’t seem to realise that we’re doing it.

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Here are 15 ways to help you overcome it once and for all and to finally live the life you’ve always imagined.

1) Let go of thinking it’s all over when rejection happens.

There has never been a time where the world collapsed on top of me whenever I experienced failure. It may have felt like it at the time but the reality is, it is mostly in your head anyway and usually built up to be a lot bigger than it actually is.

2) Re-evaluate what a rejection really means.

Are you going to view rejection as a character assassination or as a learning experience? Every successful person I have ever known started off being terrible at their craft, yet over a period of time slowly hacked away at their craft and got better and better at it.

3) Let go of the need to always be right.

There really is no such thing as right and wrong, only opinions. An opinion only becomes a fact when it’s told by someone perceived to be an authority. But, even then, become suspicious of it. You are free to think and believe whatever you choose to believe.

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If you truly believe that you’re a failure, then there’s nothing to stop you from believing it besides you.

4) Use rejection as an opportunity to grow.

As was said in #2, no one ever achieved anything in life without making mistakes along the way. Every rejection is an opportunity to re-evaluate your actions and a chance to adjust your sail in a different direction.  You will learn things which you could not have known any other way.

5) Realize that you are not special.

After all’s said and done, no one is really going to care about your day or whether you succeeded or failed. This is the first step to to understanding that what everyone else thinks of you really isn’t something to worry much about.

6) Take pride in yourself first.

When you truly realize that your thoughts and beliefs are what count, you begin to see that at the end of the day, only you matter when it comes to personal responsibility. Do what you can in your life, and whether you are praised or criticized, take pride in having done your best.

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7) Keep an open mind.

Nothing is set in stone on this world. What you might think at this present moment may well change in the near future. Don’t count the thoughts and feelings of the billions of other people currently alive. Learn to leave things open to interpretation. Nothing is what it seems.

8) Stop taking yourself too seriously.

If you’re a high achiever, you will naturally want the best from yourself. But try to understand that you can’t be perfect all the time. You’re not infallible, nor are you made of iron. The minute you get over your perceived greatness is when you’ll begin to see that you are just another human being trying to get by like everyone else.

9) Understand that rejection is a part of life.

When you view the world objectively, you begin to understand that rejection happens all the time. However, you can choose to overlook the criticisms that are of no value to you. Therefore, rejection only ever becomes a rejection when you place importance on it. Your reaction is something you have direct control over.

10) Focus on failure, not success.

If you attempt anything in life not expecting to succeed, something interesting begins to happen. Not only do you put less pressure on yourself, but your journey towards proficiency becomes much more fun in the process. Expectation is the prime reason for people quitting before reaching their goals.  Be hopeful and confident, but acknowledge that you might not succeed perfectly every time.

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11) Have the courage to challenge your fears consistently.

No one ever grew in life without pushing limits. The only limit we have is the limit we set for ourselves and our imaginations. Learn to challenge your beliefs and fears on a daily basis in order to see and understand what your true limits are. Thoughts are just thoughts, and you have control over them.

12) See each problem as a challenge and not an obstacle.

Every obstacle is something that was put there to show you what your current boundaries are. The person who is willing to challenge those boundaries is usually the person who achieves more.

13) View life as a video game.

Whenever you reach a new level in your life, there is always higher level that is perceived to be harder and more challenging to overcome. Over time, with consistent effort, each level will seem easy to overcome.  Keep at it until it gets easier.

14) Learn to embrace your flaws.

As with #5, You have weaknesses like everyone else and won’t know how to overcome them until you learn to recognize and accept them. The first step to growth is acceptance of your flaws. The second is using your weaknesses to identify your strengths  building those over a period of time.

15) Stop caring what other people think.

At the end of the day, no one really cares about you and whether or not you exist in the world. Everyone has his or her own individual problems in life and are simply doing exactly what you’re doing right now when it comes to worries, anxieties and frustrations.

The minute you take people off the pedestal is when you begin to live your life free from external judgement. It is your life to live after all, and it is now up to you to go out and claim it.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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