Advertising
Advertising

Those Who Fear Rejection Will Know How To Embrace It After Reading This

Those Who Fear Rejection Will Know How To Embrace It After Reading This

Have you ever felt paralyzed and worried about being judged by others?

Being rejected is painful. It’s perhaps one of the worst things to ever happen to your emotions and takes a toll on you after a while if you don’t know how to deal with it.

It’s the reason many people fear rejection and stay where they are. They often resort to other means of comfort like staying indoors and watching TV shows and movies versus going out and living life for real.

We create buffers all around us to avoid the pain of failure and rejection, and don’t seem to realise that we’re doing it.

Advertising

Here are 15 ways to help you overcome it once and for all and to finally live the life you’ve always imagined.

1) Let go of thinking it’s all over when rejection happens.

There has never been a time where the world collapsed on top of me whenever I experienced failure. It may have felt like it at the time but the reality is, it is mostly in your head anyway and usually built up to be a lot bigger than it actually is.

2) Re-evaluate what a rejection really means.

Are you going to view rejection as a character assassination or as a learning experience? Every successful person I have ever known started off being terrible at their craft, yet over a period of time slowly hacked away at their craft and got better and better at it.

3) Let go of the need to always be right.

There really is no such thing as right and wrong, only opinions. An opinion only becomes a fact when it’s told by someone perceived to be an authority. But, even then, become suspicious of it. You are free to think and believe whatever you choose to believe.

Advertising

If you truly believe that you’re a failure, then there’s nothing to stop you from believing it besides you.

4) Use rejection as an opportunity to grow.

As was said in #2, no one ever achieved anything in life without making mistakes along the way. Every rejection is an opportunity to re-evaluate your actions and a chance to adjust your sail in a different direction.  You will learn things which you could not have known any other way.

5) Realize that you are not special.

After all’s said and done, no one is really going to care about your day or whether you succeeded or failed. This is the first step to to understanding that what everyone else thinks of you really isn’t something to worry much about.

6) Take pride in yourself first.

When you truly realize that your thoughts and beliefs are what count, you begin to see that at the end of the day, only you matter when it comes to personal responsibility. Do what you can in your life, and whether you are praised or criticized, take pride in having done your best.

Advertising

7) Keep an open mind.

Nothing is set in stone on this world. What you might think at this present moment may well change in the near future. Don’t count the thoughts and feelings of the billions of other people currently alive. Learn to leave things open to interpretation. Nothing is what it seems.

8) Stop taking yourself too seriously.

If you’re a high achiever, you will naturally want the best from yourself. But try to understand that you can’t be perfect all the time. You’re not infallible, nor are you made of iron. The minute you get over your perceived greatness is when you’ll begin to see that you are just another human being trying to get by like everyone else.

9) Understand that rejection is a part of life.

When you view the world objectively, you begin to understand that rejection happens all the time. However, you can choose to overlook the criticisms that are of no value to you. Therefore, rejection only ever becomes a rejection when you place importance on it. Your reaction is something you have direct control over.

10) Focus on failure, not success.

If you attempt anything in life not expecting to succeed, something interesting begins to happen. Not only do you put less pressure on yourself, but your journey towards proficiency becomes much more fun in the process. Expectation is the prime reason for people quitting before reaching their goals.  Be hopeful and confident, but acknowledge that you might not succeed perfectly every time.

Advertising

11) Have the courage to challenge your fears consistently.

No one ever grew in life without pushing limits. The only limit we have is the limit we set for ourselves and our imaginations. Learn to challenge your beliefs and fears on a daily basis in order to see and understand what your true limits are. Thoughts are just thoughts, and you have control over them.

12) See each problem as a challenge and not an obstacle.

Every obstacle is something that was put there to show you what your current boundaries are. The person who is willing to challenge those boundaries is usually the person who achieves more.

13) View life as a video game.

Whenever you reach a new level in your life, there is always higher level that is perceived to be harder and more challenging to overcome. Over time, with consistent effort, each level will seem easy to overcome.  Keep at it until it gets easier.

14) Learn to embrace your flaws.

As with #5, You have weaknesses like everyone else and won’t know how to overcome them until you learn to recognize and accept them. The first step to growth is acceptance of your flaws. The second is using your weaknesses to identify your strengths  building those over a period of time.

15) Stop caring what other people think.

At the end of the day, no one really cares about you and whether or not you exist in the world. Everyone has his or her own individual problems in life and are simply doing exactly what you’re doing right now when it comes to worries, anxieties and frustrations.

The minute you take people off the pedestal is when you begin to live your life free from external judgement. It is your life to live after all, and it is now up to you to go out and claim it.

More by this author

20 Ways To Wake Up With Motivation Those Who Fear Rejection Will Know How To Embrace It After Reading This 19 Steps To True Happiness That Everyone Is Looking For 20 Excuses Most People Make That Stop Them From Reaching Their Dreams 20 Things 20-Somethings Need To Stop Doing Now

Trending in Communication

1 12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now 2 How to Use the 5 Minute Journal to Invest in Your Happiness 3 What’s the Purpose of Life? A Guide to Live with Meaning 4 Why Happiness is a Choice (And a Smart One to Make) 5 How to Survive a Midlife Crisis (The Definitive Guide for Men)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

Advertising

Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

Advertising

Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

Advertising

7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

Advertising

Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next