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These Little Things You Do Can Beat The Monday Blues But You Don’t Realize It

These Little Things You Do Can Beat The Monday Blues But You Don’t Realize It

If you sometimes dread Mondays with all those days stretching out to the weekend–that far out time when you can relax and have fun–then read on. That’s no way to treat yourself. There’s lots of advice available. For example, early this year Forbes offered 11 ways to beat (or avoid) the dreaded Monday Blues.

Here’s their list:

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  1. Identify the problem
  2. Prepare for Monday on Friday
  3. Make a list of the things you’re excited about
  4. Unplug for the weekend
  5. Get enough sleep and wake up early
  6. Dress for success
  7. Be positive
  8. Make someone else happy
  9. Keep your Monday schedule light
  10. Have fun at work
  11. Have a post-work plan

That’s a pretty serious list largely centered around your work at the salt-mine, which is not surprising in a Forbes article. There’s some good thoughts in that list, but they should be condensed into a much simpler list that reflects a better balance between work and all your other life activities. That, after all, is what LifeHack is all about, and a simpler list is more likely to be one you follow week in, week out. Here is an attempt at such a list.

It works around the idea of one small task to do every day. You may need to juggle the order to better fit any time commitments you have. However try to stick to the #1 task. You could even write the 7 tasks on file cards so that you can shuffle the cards and make sure you have an order that works for you in the week ahead.

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#1 Sunday Evening – Key goals for the week

Take 5 minutes to remind yourself of any important goals you may have for the week and which days you intend to achieve them. They don’t need to be big goals. Remember the journey of a thousand miles starts with your first step. Factor in that daily exercise you should be doing, however short. With this mini-plan, when Monday comes, you’ll have lots to look forward to.

#2 Monday morning – Make someone else happy

Think of the people you know and decide which of them might appreciate some kind gesture from you. It could be something small. Even saying hello to someone you see often but never greet can do wonders for their day. You hardly need to be reminded that you too will feel happier when you see how your action is appreciated.

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#3 Tuesday morning – Plan some surprise fun activity with your partner this evening

Surprises are always nice to receive, so your partner will find this even more fun than something they’re expecting. If you don’t have a partner, then get in touch with a family member, friend or colleague to join in something that gives you both pleasure.

#4 Wednesday morning – Eat a healthy lunch

You should be eating well throughout the week, but take special pains today to have a nutritious and healthy lunch, perhaps at some eating venue you don’t visit very often.

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#5 Thursday morning – Plan your weekend

Plan some recreational activity for the weekend and do whatever preparations are needed to make it happen. The only people you need to keep happy are you (and your partner) so make the most of every weekend opportunity you have.

#6 Friday morning – TGIF so do something different

Everyone tends to let their hair down a little on Friday, so make this the day that you do something very different each week. That could be a lunch time visit to a nearby art gallery or a quick round of mini-golf.

#7 Saturday morning – Make sure you get some exercise today

You should be getting convenient exercise every day, but don’t forget to include Saturday. The weekend is not a time to be a vegetable. Don’t sleep the weekend away. Rise early, enjoy the day and get moving with that recreational activity you planned on Thursday.

Although this is a short list, you will find you will tend to do more every day as you complete at least the task for the day. If you find some other daily task is more important, then why not suggest that in a comment here. More ideas can only lead to better lists. By developing and using your own list, Monday can be a gateway to a fun-filled week rather than the start of a same old-same old, dreary work week.

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These Little Things You Do Can Beat The Monday Blues But You Don’t Realize It

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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