Advertising
Advertising

The Most Important Things You Should Know To Conquer Fear And Live A Better Life

The Most Important Things You Should Know To Conquer Fear And Live A Better Life

Napoleon Bonaparte, Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great would have had problems with YouTube – they had Ailurophobia, the fear of cats. Nikola Tesla was afraid of germs. Walt Disney, ironically, was afraid of mice. Alfred Hitchcock had a fear of eggs. While certain fears do not stop you from becoming powerful (please use your power responsibly), there are fears that must be overcome if we are to live our best lives. The fear of change and the fear of failure are two of the biggest hindrances to living your best life. The following five things will give you a little insight into how to conquer those fears and live a better life.

1. Focus on your story

In Donald Miller’s book, “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years,” he outlines how to live your best life by looking at your life as a story. A story you are the author of. He says:

“If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation. If I got any comfort as I set out on my first story, it was that in nearly every story, the protagonist is transformed. He’s a jerk at the beginning and nice at the end, or a coward at the beginning and brave at the end. If the character doesn’t change, the story hasn’t happened yet. And if story is derived from real life, if the story is a condensed version of life then life itself may be designed to change us so that we evolve from one kind of person to another. ”

If we are afraid of change, how will we ever become better? How will our story ever be worth telling? Change is scary, but it’s only through change that we become our best and happiest self.

2. Whatever happens, happens

The best and worst thing about the past is it can never be changed. No matter what has happened in life, you can’t change it. But you can learn from it and use it to your advantage.

“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” Johnny Cash

Don’t be afraid to fail. Most of the great people in the world climbed to the top on a stairway made of failure. Don’t look at failure as an end. Look at it as an opportunity to rise up and learn from your mistakes and don’t forget, great things take time.

3. Love yourself

In the Bible it says:

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

It is not only important to love others but also to love yourself. If you do something wrong, cut yourself slack. Remember failure is in the past and can be used to become better. Don’t sell yourself short. You deserve to be loved. Loving yourself is of great importance if you are ever going to live a better life.

4. Sometimes all it takes is 20 seconds

“You know, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, just literally 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery, and I promise you something great will come of it.” Benjamin Mee, We Bought A Zoo

Most of the time, the thing you fear doing will only take 20 seconds. For example, you see a cute girl in the library you want to ask out. Instead of asking, which would only take a few seconds, you let the fear of failure creep in. You drag it out going through every scenario in your mind, worrying about every little thing that could go wrong. You spend all your time in anticipation of something that lasts mere seconds. You never know what the outcome will be so why worry about it? She’s not dating you right now, what do you have to lose? This goes for so many other things as well. So when your heart starts beating a million miles a minute, remember, all it takes is 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery.

Advertising

5. Avoiding your fear may bring you closer to it

In the book, “Kisses from Katie,” Katie recalls an interesting story she once heard about fear:

“Once there was a people who surveyed the resources of the world and said to each other: ‘How can we be sure that we will have enough in hard times? We want to survive whatever happens. Let us start collecting food, materials, and knowledge so that we are safe and secure when a crisis occurs.’ So they started hoarding, so much and so eagerly that the other people protested and said: ‘You have so much more than you need, while we don’t have enough to survive. Give us part of your wealth!” But the fearful hoarders said: “No, no, we need to keep this in case of an emergency, in case things go bad for us too, in case our lives are threatened.’ But the others said: ‘We are dying now, please give us food and materials and knowledge to survive. We can’t wait . . . we need it now!’ Then the fearful hoarders became even more fearful, since they became afraid that the poor and hungry would attack them. So they said to one another: ‘Let us build walls around our wealth so that no stranger can take it from us.’ They started erecting walls so high that they could not even see anymore whether their enemies were outside the walls or not! As their fear increased they told each other: ‘Our enemies have become so numerous that they may be able to tear down our walls. Our walls are not strong enough to keep them away. We need to put bombs at the top of the walls so that nobody will dare to even come close to us.’ But instead of feeling safe and secure behind their armed walls they found themselves trapped in the prison they had built with their own fear. They even became afraid of their own bombs, wondering if they might harm themselves more than their enemy. And gradually they realized their fear of death had brought them closer to it.” Unknown

Be careful in avoiding your fears that you don’t end up like the people in this story. I think it is important to note in this scenario, the people who were the fearful hoarders did not have love. They did not love the other people. As a result, they built themselves into a prison. Always remember love and fear cannot exist simultaneously.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Bert Kaufmann via flickr.com

More by this author

Braden Thompson

Braden is an advocate for better living who finds fulfillment in helping others become better.

8 Important Things to Remember When You Are Feeling Overwhelmed 10 Things Extraordinary People Do Differently change the world If You Want to Change the World, This is How You Do It Lazy Dog 6 Quick Ways To Get Motivated When You Feel Lazy conquer fear The Most Important Things You Should Know To Conquer Fear And Live A Better Life

Trending in Communication

1 What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People 2 How To Be Happy Alone and Enjoy Life 3 10 Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem and a Lack of Confidence 4 10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear 5 The Lifehack Show Episode 3: Why Validation is Key to Lasting Relationships

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

Advertising

4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

Advertising

9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

Advertising

15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

Advertising

20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

More About Happiness

Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

Read Next