Advertising
Advertising

Stop Feeling Lonely Without Jumping Into a Romantic Relationship

Stop Feeling Lonely Without Jumping Into a Romantic Relationship

Nobody wants to be lonely – it kind of sucks. I’ve been alone for every major holiday since blowing the whistle on the banks. It was hard being single at first, but, once I accepted it, my life changed for the better. Instead of jumping from relationship to relationship, I learned to stop feeling lonely and start feeling myself.

1. Connect to People with Similar Interests

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, there are certain hobbies you have that you enjoy pursuing. You don’t need a partner to enjoy your hobbies – in fact, enjoying your life alone is the best way to meet people with similar interests.

You may not want to attend a movie or hike a mountain on your own, but do it anyway. You’ll bump into people doing the same thing, and you can connect with them.

2. Talk to Senior Citizens

When was the last time you talked to a senior citizen? So many people push the elderly into retirement communities so they don’t have to deal with them. We’re so used to instant gratification that we hate having to slow down and listen.

Advertising

Spending time with the elderly and listening to their stories fulfills you and validates their experiences. It’s a win-win situation.

3. Embrace the Challenge

Knowing how to get through adversity and actually doing it are two different things. It’s the execution that counts in life, and in order to properly execute, you’ll need to embrace the challenge of being single.

For every lonely night you spend crying, there’s an opportunity or adventure you couldn’t have taken if you were distracted by a relationship. Stop dwelling on what could, should, and has been. Instead focus on the now.

4. Go on a Personal Journey

The best part about being alone is being able to discover your true self. When I was jumping from relationship to relationship, I was so busy introducing myself to someone and getting to know them that I never had a chance to grow and mature myself.

Advertising

I went on a spiritual journey and reconnected with the things that are important to me, and I learned that I actually felt lonelier in those relationships than I did alone. It was a fantastical revelation.

5. Dream for Your Future

When you’re in a relationship, your future is shared with someone. This makes things easier in that you have support, but it also forces you to compromise.

Stop being lonely solo and realize you have the power to do whatever you want without having to compromise. You can go all-out and focus 100% of your energy on yourself.

6. Contribute to Your Community

If you find yourself lacking in human companionship, volunteer in your community. There’s no shortage of churches, soup kitchens, thrift stores, and shelters looking for able-bodied volunteers.

Advertising

Instead of sitting around feeling bad for yourself, you can help others who are in need. Committing yourself to the betterment of society is a great way to fill any void in your life.

7. Assist Children

I believe the children are our future. Teach them well, and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.

Whitney Houston had her ups and downs. Her death wasn’t the most glamorous, but she understood that the greatest love of all is the love we have for ourselves.

Listening to Whitney Houston’s music reminds me that the survival of our society lies not in Washington DC, but in our youth. Find ways to make kids’ lives easier. Register as a caregiver, coach a team, or just clean up a park.

Advertising

Loneliness can be difficult. When you’re used to being in relationships, you may not even know how to be single. There’s no shame in being alone – I’m 33, single, and not even working on changing that. If I can do it, so can you.

So buck up, grumpy puss. Somebody loves you, and it should be you.

Featured photo credit: beautiful girl in the morning on the beach via shutterstock.com

More by this author

How to Live Life to the Fullest Say Goodbye to a Skinny Body: How to Gain Weight Fast 20 Things Life Is Too Short to Worry About (+ How to Ditch These Worries) 24 Easy Ways To Make Money On The Internet What 500 Calories Really Looks Like in Different Foods

Trending in Communication

1 Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset 2 10 Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When You’re Feeling Extra Stuck 3 Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner) 4 Anxiety Coping Mechanisms That Work When You’re Stressed to the Max 5 How To Stop Insecure Attachment from Wreaking Havoc on Your Love Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

Advertising

The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

Advertising

How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

Advertising

There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

Advertising

When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

Read Next