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Stop Feeling Lonely Without Jumping Into a Romantic Relationship

Stop Feeling Lonely Without Jumping Into a Romantic Relationship

Nobody wants to be lonely – it kind of sucks. I’ve been alone for every major holiday since blowing the whistle on the banks. It was hard being single at first, but, once I accepted it, my life changed for the better. Instead of jumping from relationship to relationship, I learned to stop feeling lonely and start feeling myself.

1. Connect to People with Similar Interests

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, there are certain hobbies you have that you enjoy pursuing. You don’t need a partner to enjoy your hobbies – in fact, enjoying your life alone is the best way to meet people with similar interests.

You may not want to attend a movie or hike a mountain on your own, but do it anyway. You’ll bump into people doing the same thing, and you can connect with them.

2. Talk to Senior Citizens

When was the last time you talked to a senior citizen? So many people push the elderly into retirement communities so they don’t have to deal with them. We’re so used to instant gratification that we hate having to slow down and listen.

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Spending time with the elderly and listening to their stories fulfills you and validates their experiences. It’s a win-win situation.

3. Embrace the Challenge

Knowing how to get through adversity and actually doing it are two different things. It’s the execution that counts in life, and in order to properly execute, you’ll need to embrace the challenge of being single.

For every lonely night you spend crying, there’s an opportunity or adventure you couldn’t have taken if you were distracted by a relationship. Stop dwelling on what could, should, and has been. Instead focus on the now.

4. Go on a Personal Journey

The best part about being alone is being able to discover your true self. When I was jumping from relationship to relationship, I was so busy introducing myself to someone and getting to know them that I never had a chance to grow and mature myself.

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I went on a spiritual journey and reconnected with the things that are important to me, and I learned that I actually felt lonelier in those relationships than I did alone. It was a fantastical revelation.

5. Dream for Your Future

When you’re in a relationship, your future is shared with someone. This makes things easier in that you have support, but it also forces you to compromise.

Stop being lonely solo and realize you have the power to do whatever you want without having to compromise. You can go all-out and focus 100% of your energy on yourself.

6. Contribute to Your Community

If you find yourself lacking in human companionship, volunteer in your community. There’s no shortage of churches, soup kitchens, thrift stores, and shelters looking for able-bodied volunteers.

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Instead of sitting around feeling bad for yourself, you can help others who are in need. Committing yourself to the betterment of society is a great way to fill any void in your life.

7. Assist Children

I believe the children are our future. Teach them well, and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.

Whitney Houston had her ups and downs. Her death wasn’t the most glamorous, but she understood that the greatest love of all is the love we have for ourselves.

Listening to Whitney Houston’s music reminds me that the survival of our society lies not in Washington DC, but in our youth. Find ways to make kids’ lives easier. Register as a caregiver, coach a team, or just clean up a park.

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Loneliness can be difficult. When you’re used to being in relationships, you may not even know how to be single. There’s no shame in being alone – I’m 33, single, and not even working on changing that. If I can do it, so can you.

So buck up, grumpy puss. Somebody loves you, and it should be you.

Featured photo credit: beautiful girl in the morning on the beach via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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