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Stop Feeling Lonely Without Jumping Into a Romantic Relationship

Stop Feeling Lonely Without Jumping Into a Romantic Relationship

Nobody wants to be lonely – it kind of sucks. I’ve been alone for every major holiday since blowing the whistle on the banks. It was hard being single at first, but, once I accepted it, my life changed for the better. Instead of jumping from relationship to relationship, I learned to stop feeling lonely and start feeling myself.

1. Connect to People with Similar Interests

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, there are certain hobbies you have that you enjoy pursuing. You don’t need a partner to enjoy your hobbies – in fact, enjoying your life alone is the best way to meet people with similar interests.

You may not want to attend a movie or hike a mountain on your own, but do it anyway. You’ll bump into people doing the same thing, and you can connect with them.

2. Talk to Senior Citizens

When was the last time you talked to a senior citizen? So many people push the elderly into retirement communities so they don’t have to deal with them. We’re so used to instant gratification that we hate having to slow down and listen.

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Spending time with the elderly and listening to their stories fulfills you and validates their experiences. It’s a win-win situation.

3. Embrace the Challenge

Knowing how to get through adversity and actually doing it are two different things. It’s the execution that counts in life, and in order to properly execute, you’ll need to embrace the challenge of being single.

For every lonely night you spend crying, there’s an opportunity or adventure you couldn’t have taken if you were distracted by a relationship. Stop dwelling on what could, should, and has been. Instead focus on the now.

4. Go on a Personal Journey

The best part about being alone is being able to discover your true self. When I was jumping from relationship to relationship, I was so busy introducing myself to someone and getting to know them that I never had a chance to grow and mature myself.

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I went on a spiritual journey and reconnected with the things that are important to me, and I learned that I actually felt lonelier in those relationships than I did alone. It was a fantastical revelation.

5. Dream for Your Future

When you’re in a relationship, your future is shared with someone. This makes things easier in that you have support, but it also forces you to compromise.

Stop being lonely solo and realize you have the power to do whatever you want without having to compromise. You can go all-out and focus 100% of your energy on yourself.

6. Contribute to Your Community

If you find yourself lacking in human companionship, volunteer in your community. There’s no shortage of churches, soup kitchens, thrift stores, and shelters looking for able-bodied volunteers.

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Instead of sitting around feeling bad for yourself, you can help others who are in need. Committing yourself to the betterment of society is a great way to fill any void in your life.

7. Assist Children

I believe the children are our future. Teach them well, and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.

Whitney Houston had her ups and downs. Her death wasn’t the most glamorous, but she understood that the greatest love of all is the love we have for ourselves.

Listening to Whitney Houston’s music reminds me that the survival of our society lies not in Washington DC, but in our youth. Find ways to make kids’ lives easier. Register as a caregiver, coach a team, or just clean up a park.

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Loneliness can be difficult. When you’re used to being in relationships, you may not even know how to be single. There’s no shame in being alone – I’m 33, single, and not even working on changing that. If I can do it, so can you.

So buck up, grumpy puss. Somebody loves you, and it should be you.

Featured photo credit: beautiful girl in the morning on the beach via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on October 22, 2020

11 Tips for Maintaining a Positive Attitude Every Day

11 Tips for Maintaining a Positive Attitude Every Day

Maintaining a positive attitude is critical when you want to achieve anything or simply improve the quality of your life. Most success literature will talk about the power of positive thinking and how important it is, but it’s often easier said than done.

In this article, you’ll find 11 tips for maintaining your positive attitude no matter what’s going on in your life.

1. You Determine Your Reality

It’s important to realize that you determine your reality by the way you react to the outside world. When something happens, you get to choose whether it’s a positive or negative situation and react accordingly.

For example, if you lose your job, your first reaction will likely be one of anger, frustration, and hopelessness. However, what if you were able to turn those emotions around and look at that experience as an opportunity.

You now have the chance to find a job where you will be able to learn new skills and perhaps even be happier. And in the meantime, you have some free time to analyze what direction you want the next stage of your life to go in.

2. Start Your Day Strong

Most people have to drag themselves out of bed, and this sets a negative state of mind for their entire day. Positive people create a long-term morning ritual that reinforces how great life is and how happy they are to be alive.

I used to wake up and immediately turn on Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life to get me into a positive mood. Now I start my day by reading or listening to something positive. Whether you have 1 minute, 15 minutes, or an hour to dedicate to your ritual, you can start the day in a way that helps you feel relaxed and ready for the day ahead.

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Cultivate a positive attitude with a great morning routine.

    3. Exercise Is the Natural Feel-Good Drug

    Exercise is a great way to maintain a good attitude because of all the positive chemicals it releases into the bloodstream.

    One study found that between groups who participated in high-intensity interval training, moderate continuous training, and no exercise, those in the second group experienced the greatest drop in depressive symptoms and stress[1]. Therefore, if you’re looking to exercise to help you feel good, get your heart rate up, but don’t push too hard or you may increase overall stress.

    Also, remember that exercise can include many activities. If you don’t like running, try dancing or kickboxing instead. Put on some upbeat music to kick up the positive vibes even more.

    4. Use Books, Audio and Videos to Overload Your Brain with Positivity

    There are millions of amazing books, podcasts, and videos for you to absorb from people who are inspiring and living the life of their dreams. Tap into their positive emotions and their experience by learning how they think and what they do to create the lives they want.

    You can do this in the morning or while exercising, eating, commuting, cooking, cleaning… there’s always time for positivity.

    5. Your Language Shapes Your Thoughts

    Little changes in your language can change the way you think and how you act. Whenever someone greets you and asks how you’re doing, do you answer with “fine” or “not too bad”? Think about just what this language is communicating to others… and yourself.

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    I always answer with “great,” “fantastic,” or “amazing.” Not only does this remind me that life really is great, but it usually helps the other person shift toward a positive attitude as well.

    Also, take some time to look at the way your inner voice talks to you. Is that language positive or negative? If it’s overly critical or negative, it may be time to tap into some mindfulness meditation in order to shift your inner critic to an inner cheerleader.

    6. Hang out With Positive People

    It is often said that you will have a similar level of health, income and lifestyle as the five people you spend the most time with.

    So if you want to be fit, then start to hang out with fit people. Want to start a business? Then hang out with business owners. And if you want to be positive, make sure you’re hanging out with positive people[2].

    7. Show Your Appreciation for Others

    By appreciating others for a job well done, their outfit, or their smile, you start to cause a positive chain reaction. Stop complaining and focus on all the good others are doing around you.

    Don’t you feel great when you receive a compliment from someone else? Well, if you want to receive more, then start giving them out and watch what happens to the people around you.

    One particular study found that people who sent letters of gratitude experienced significant increases in happiness scores[3]. If you don’t feel like writing a letter, send a nice text to someone who recently helped you out, or send an email thanking your coworker for always helping pick up the slack around the office. Whatever it is, take some time to show gratitude.

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    8. Garbage In, Garbage Out

    This is an expression from programming where the result is only as good as the input. If you’re feeding yourself with negativity all day long, then it’s pretty obvious you’re going to be feeling negative as well.

    A great deal of the media thrives on negativity. Put yourself on a negativity diet (including people) and watch how much easier it is to maintain your positive attitude.

    9. Stop Negative Thoughts in Their Tracks

    It’s hard to be a constantly positive person, and negative thoughts are going to bubble up from time to time. These will be more frequent in the beginning but can decrease as you practice the tips we’re talking about. When you start to notice negative thoughts, you can use a pattern interrupt to stop them in their tracks.

    The idea is to interrupt your current thought pattern and shift to a more positive outlook. One way to do this is to set a visual or auditory cue. It can be something as simple as a bracelet you wear each day or the sound of a car passing outside your window. Whenever you see or hear the cue, use it to shift your thoughts to something positive.

    You can learn more on how to shift your mindset and negative attitudes in the following video:

    10. Live With Gratitude

    So many positive things happen during our day, and we often ignore them while letting one negative comment or event ruin our mood. It can help to keep a gratitude journal where you jot down things you are grateful for each night or during the day.

    If you’re reading this, then you probably live with a roof over your head and food in your belly, which is a daily struggle for a large portion of the world. However, we often take these things for granted and don’t realize just how great we have it.

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    Try refocusing your thoughts towards everything you do have instead of what you don’t. One study found that reflecting on past experiences with a sense of gratitude can lead to increases in both hope and happiness[4]. That’s a great reason to give it a go today.

    You can find more ways to practice gratitude in this article.

    11. Recharge Your Batteries

    One key to adopting a positive attitude is taking the time to recharge your batteries. This might mean taking a few hours on the weekend to read a positive book or taking a few weeks for a holiday.

    If you’re not in the position to travel, you can take a staycation, or have a “home holiday” where you simply switch off from the outside world and spend time doing things you love.

    Final Thoughts

    You now have 11 tips for maintaining your positive attitude, but they are no use to you unless you implement them into your life.

    Start small, and pick the easiest tip or the one that you really love and introduce it into your life starting right now. Then, over time, start implementing the other tips and watch your positivity soar.

    More Tips About Staying Positive

    Featured photo credit: Pepe Cast Zam via unsplash.com

    Reference

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