Advertising
Advertising

Speak like a Pro- 15 lessons learned from watching TED TALKS

Speak like a Pro- 15 lessons learned from watching TED TALKS

When you watch TED Talks, do you ever wonder how the speakers look so confident, say all the right things, and deliver such a strong message? There are very deliberate tactics to deliver speeches like this. As a member of Toastmasters International, I noticed that TED speakers follow a very specific set of rules. Here are 15 lessons learned from watching Ted Talks. Practice implementing them and you will deliver amazing speeches and speak like a pro in no time.

1. Start With A Bang! No Weak Beginnings Allowed.

Don’t start the presentation with a weak beginning. Don’t say things like “thank you for that introduction” or “it’s nice to be here..” Instead, give the audience something powerful that will get their attention immediately. Make sure you wow your audience in the first 30 seconds. When giving a 5-10 minute speech, 30 seconds is a very long time! Introduce your topic in a unique way and make sure to know who your audience is, what will impress and intrigue them. Remember, you have 30 seconds to begin your speech, impress, and also let them know what your speech is about. The first few sentences must be very carefully constructed.

2. Organize Your Ideas: Your Speech Must Have A Structure.

Professional speakers know that one of the key ways to keep their audience engaged is to have a clear structure for their speeches. Develop an outline for your speech- even before writing the speech out. You can organize your speech structure in several ways, including chronologically, thematically, or topically. Here are some of Leo Babuata’s lifehack.org tips for writing a kickass speech.

Don’t take this advice for granted. Organizing your ideas into an outline will improve the quality of your speech and help you create a coherent message that comes together neatly. If you don’t this is beforehand, it could result in a very chaotic speech. Speech audiences need structure in order to enjoy a speech. When you’re listening to a speech, you may not recognize the structure, but it affects your experience. Once you’re an experienced speaker yourself, you will begin to notice that every good speech has a clear structure.

3. Realize That Pauses Are… VERY Powerful.

The four pillars of vocal variety in the Toastmaster’s guide are Pace, Pitch, Power and Pauses. Pauses are by far the most dramatic of the four, so you need to learn how to use them wisely. Pauses can be varied and used throughout different sections of the speech. Short pauses are necessary between sentences, and you need to deliberately pause, because if you don’t it will sound like your sentences are connected, confusing and too rushed.

Advertising

Long pauses can be used between the different sections of the speech where you are transitioning from one idea to the next. The longest pauses should be used sparingly, when you want to emphasize the most important points and you want to gather up the audiences’ attention before stating them. In terms of pace, slowing down through key statements will do wonders to emphasize them.

4. Get To The Point- And Stay On Target.

State the goal, main idea, or main questions being explored early on, and stay on target with this main topic. Make sure every part of your speech is on target. It may seem repetitive to you, but an audience of a speech does not retain information very well (only impressions and impact of the message). This means you need to repeat your main message in several different ways if you want the audience to take that message with them after the speech is over. Even if your speech has several sections with different information, it should always tie back to the main message and stay on target.

5. Use Simple Words: Think Conversational.

The best, most inspiring speeches use simple words and have a conversational tone. Forget jargon, and forget complicated, long sentences. Keep your sentences succinct, and your words short. Avoid crutch words. This will make your speech more believable, and you as the speaker more likable. Gaining the audience’s trust in this way is key to connecting with them.

“Effective delivery, even to a large audience, is intimate. Your delivery should be conversational.” –John Kinde, DTM and Loren Ekroth, Ph.D, Toastmasters Magazine.

6. Use Body Language Effectively: Complement Your Words For Maximum Impact.

Remember to use the correct body language for the desired effect, and don’t pace around aimlessly on the stage. When you’re nervous on stage, you might make gestures without realizing it, and most of these types of gestures and stances take away from the power of your speech. Some of these include pacing back and forth nervously, fidgeting with your hands, crossing your arms and uncrossing them repeatedly, and more.

Advertising

When people begin to notice these movements, they generally zone out of your speech and begin focusing on the movements. This is because people tend to mirror your attitude during speeches. When they can clearly see your nervousness through your body language, they will also begin to feel restless and nervous themselves. You need to practice controlling your body language, and incorporating useful gestures instead. Useful gestures are expressive, curated movements that clearly coincide with the idea you are delivering in that moment.

7. Don’t Overwhelm: No More Than 3 Takeaways.

That’s probably already too many! Try to focus on one clear message with a couple of supporting points. The best speeches teach the audience something new, or allow them to see a topic in a whole new light. Make your message memorable. Speeches are one of the most “inefficient” forms of learning because the listener does not retain a high number of specific facts. However, in terms of impact, a speech can go very far. The impact of your speech will depend on the clarity of the message, repetition of the message, and the unique angle of your message.

8. Use Vocal Variety- Add Life And Color To Your Speech.

Your voice is the medium and tool for delivering your speech. It has a major effect on your listeners. You should focus on making your speaking voice lively, enthusiastic, pleasant, natural, and powerful at certain moments. This can all be achieved through practice. You need to add a variety of different volumes, pitches and tones to make your speech engaging and fun to listen to.

What do you think makes for a good storyteller? It’s the vocal variety- the ability to enunciate words, use power and high volume in some moments, and sometimes even speaking in a whisper. A speech won’t have such a contrast but this is the basic idea. You need to tell a story with your voice as much as your words.

Don’t over-strain your voice in the days leading up to the speech, such as yelling, going to a Karaoke bar, or cheering loudly at a baseball game. It will most definitely affect the quality of your delivery. On the day of the speech, make sure to rest your voice, and have a glass of water before starting.

Advertising

9. Back Up Your Arguments With The Right Evidence.

Most of your compelling arguments need some kind of evidence to support it. A speech that is well-researched demands credibility. This is not to say that your speech should be heavily fact and statistics oriented, because this would make for a very boring speech. However, emphasizing your top arguments with the right backup can really increase the impact of your speech. You can research your speech topic using books and the internet. Make sure to mention where you got the info to make your speech more persuasive. Sometimes, depending on the topic, you can use a simple chart, graph or quote to provide even more visual context.

10. Get Comfortable With Your Visual Aids.

If your speech includes the use of presentation slides, make sure you know them well. You need to be really comfortable with using them, in every aspect. They must be appropriate for your speech and displayed professionally, and be easy to read or see. You should know how to use the technical equipment where you are giving your speech, and you should not turn away from the audience to read the slides. As a matter of fact, the slides should not contain too many words. The most effective speeches use lots of visuals, or simple quotes or points displayed in a really big font size.

11. Know Your Audience, And Don’t Forget To Inspire Them Deeply.

If possible, you should find out who your audience members are by researching the event, venue or topic of your speech in this respect. If you know a little bit more about them, your message can be catered to impact them more deeply. If you know what makes your audience tick, and what issues they care deeply about, you have the ability to inject them with inspiration and make them reflect on something important.

Even if you can’t find out the exact type of audience you will speak to, it’s important to remember to think about inspiring your audience while you write your speech. You are not there to merely present facts and leave. In most cases, speeches (oddly similar to certain sermons) aim to make the audience self reflect and take action on something in their lives. This is a beautiful thing if you can manage to accomplish this. Aim high!

12. Tell A Story. Or Two… And Use Stories About People.

People love to listen to stories. Stories and anecdotes are much more memorable than statements that are disconnected. A good story can weave together some really good points and usually ends with a clear lesson which is easy to remember. In order to connect with the audience, make sure you use your own stories and tell them in an authentic manner.

Advertising

Don’t borrow other people’s stories- reflect on your own experiences and find stories that illustrate your most profound thoughts. This will do wonders in making the audience trust you. Here’s my favorite TED speech which incorporates personal stories into the speech seamlessly. It’s Amanda Palmer’s The Art of Asking. In this speech, she pretty much incorporates everything I’ve laid out in this post very successfully!

13. Use Humor: Make Your Audience Smile Or Laugh As Soon As Possible.

One of the easiest ways to get the audience on your side is by making them laugh early on. If you tell them a story that makes them smile or even laugh out loud, you’ve already won over their approval and trust, and their smiles looking in your direction will give you more confidence to power through the rest of the speech.

Professionals know this, and use this method very strategically! Next time you’re listening to a good speech, remember this turning point in the speech, and take note of how good it made to feel when the speaker made you laugh.

14. Practice Your Speech! This Is An Absolute Must.

Practicing gives you the ability to feel out your speech, work out inconsistencies, and fix your timing. When practicing a speech in front of a mirror or in front of a supportive group of people, it is recommended to use time limits. Make eye contact with specific people in different sections of the audience, and connect directly with them. This takes some practice to get it right and look natural.

Practicing also allows you to hone in on your best gestures, body language, facial expressions, and experiment with variations of pitch and emphasis in your voice. It’s also important because it helps you remember your points better each time. No one wants to see a speaker who is reading. Follow these tips while practicing.

15. Give Them Goosebumps: End Strong With A Compelling Call To Action.

It’s always a good idea to end strong, and come full circle with your message. Just as a good essay has a strong introduction and strong conclusion, so does a good speech. The conclusion should repeat the main points from the introduction but in a summarized, concluded format, and introduce a compelling “call to action,” which can be something for the audience to think about or act upon.

Don’t end your speech with a question and answer session. Even if your speech will have a Q&A session, take the stage back after the session and end strong with a summarized conclusion.

More by this author

54 Things Everyone Needs To Know How To Do 21 Ways You Can Earn The Respect Of Others Speak like a Pro- 15 lessons learned from watching TED TALKS 17 Ways To Teach Your Kids To Be Financially Independent

Trending in Communication

1 What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It) 2 How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life 3 What Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positive People? 4 How to Surround Yourself With Positive People 5 15 Ways to Boost Your Motivation for Success

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

Advertising

1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

Advertising

If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

Advertising

6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

Advertising

In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

Read Next