Advertising
Advertising

Six Steps To Help You Conquer Stage Fright

Six Steps To Help You Conquer Stage Fright

Ever feel you’re not ready for the spotlight? Master your fears using these six steps to knock your performance outta the park! Stage fright (also known as performance anxiety) is not so difficult to overcome if you follow a few easy steps. These will work for any type of public speaking, from the board meeting presentation to Broadway. Follow the first three steps to get yourself ready, and the next three for the big night itself.

1. Preparation is key.

Do everything you can to prepare for your moment to shine. Memorize, rehearse, practice your presentation in front of your trusted friends: there’ll be less performance anxiety that way. If it’s a singing engagement, try practicing your song at a busy Karaoke bar. You’ll get all the crowd, without all of the pressure.

To overcome your stage fright, be sure to come up with performance goals for yourself. If you know you tend to sing louder at the end of your set, try singing louder at the start. If you want to slow down the pace of your presentation, then use a stopwatch while you practice. Performance goals can give you something to hone in on during rehearsal, and you can focus on your goals in your actual performance.

Have everything together when you practice, all of the materials you might need, notes, microphone, stool, musical instruments, and of course, bottled water. (You’ve got to stay hydrated!) And dress up when you rehearse! Nothing prepares you for the real deal like looking the part.

Advertising

2. Calm yourself.

In order to ease your mind in preparing for public speaking, find effective ways to calm yourself. A lot can be said about taking time to relax. Honestly, even a worst-case-scenario of your performance wouldn’t involve a literal train wreck. Take it easy. Meditate. If you believe in a god, pray to her or him. Or just ask the muses to keep you inspired. Do anything you can to calm yourself down both offstage and just before you go onstage.

3. Alter your perception of the audience.

I’ve heard it said before if you picture an audience naked it can help you to perform. Now I can see how that might help you feel more confident, but it might also make you uncomfortable or give you the giggles. Here are a number of ways you can perceive the audience that will definitely help you to perform.

This is a biggie. This is probably the number one reason you experience stage fright. If you are afraid of a big audience, there are a number of things you can do. First, try to think of the whole audience as a unit. Or try to pick out a single member of the audience and deliver a good deal of your speech to that person. If there’s only one, it might be easier for you to perform to him or her.

Second, picture the whole audience is made up of only your friends and family. By thinking of people who love you and want the best for you, it will make the whole experience easier to swallow. Also, if you are performing for a low-lit room of people – use the darkness to your advantage! No need for eye contact.

Advertising

A friend of mine had a very different suggestion: “If you have to perform for a large audience, picture them as a bunch of cattle. At any event, there will be people who don’t even want to be there: some preoccupied with themselves, others on their phones. You don’t have to perform for them. And you can’t please everyone, so don’t worry about stage fright.” By depersonalizing the audience, you can compartmentalize them. If your performance isn’t such an extravaganza, it may be easier for you to overcome your performance anxiety. Remember to do these next few steps as you perform.

4. You are in control.

Right before the show starts, you may be nervous, but remember you have all the control. You can get ready for it and ultimately, the pacing is up to you. And you can do the entire show just for yourself if you want to. Maybe the audience isn’t even there. (In that case, no need to have stage fright at all.)

You can pray again, or meditate before everything starts. Some actors sit in their trailers and do acting exercises before they begin. All of your preparedness will kick in again here. Be sure to have all of your materials at hand again: your costumes, your instruments, your water. These can be your last minute comforts before you grace the stage with your presence. Remember the scout motto: Be prepared.

5. The show must go on.

Once the show starts, you have to go through with it. This might not sound comforting at first, but it’s as helpful as it is true. You will have less and less stage fright as the show goes on, because you know it’s coming to a close. Therefore, once it’s underway you’ve only got to wait it out. So embrace it — Dive right in!

Advertising

Also, a mistake is only a bad thing if you make it that way. Many performers practice a technique called “railroading.” When you make a mistake, don’t draw any attention to it. An acting teacher once told me: “The audience is pretty clueless. They’re not going to notice your mistakes unless you make them a big deal. You will notice your mistakes because you have the script memorized and you’ve rehearsed it perfectly a hundred times. But they don’t know your lines. And they won’t see you walked the wrong way, instead of the way you rehearsed it. So, if you make a mistake, just keep on going.”

As the show goes on, keep focused on the performance goals you practiced. And remember to tell the story: if you get caught up in the story, you might forget you were nervous in the first place!

6. Just don’t think about it!

Sure, it’s easier said than done. Why not distract yourself a little in the hours before you go onstage? Or, you can just focus on the work. You only have to perform exactly what you rehearse. You only have to do what you’ve done before. It’s not brain surgery.

Sometimes all you have to do is give it a try to gain confidence. You could try pretending you aren’t really nervous. Sometimes the act of pretending can have a placebo effect on you — and suddenly you’re no longer nervous at all. Maybe you could imagine you are an alien with a secret message for all of humankind. Hey, it worked for Ziggy Stardust…

Advertising

Even the greatest public speakers still experience stage fright, but they’ve been able to minimize it using techniques just like these. Just remember the more shows you do, the simpler it gets. You will gain confidence as you go, and you will have memories to draw upon, reminding you performance anxiety really is no big deal. Let experience be your performance teacher, and it will get easier and easier.

Featured photo credit: Public_speaking/ProjectManhattan via upload.wikimedia.org

More by this author

Remembering, Learning 13 Tricks to Help You Remember What You’ve Learned Money Ditch The Excuses: 15 Tips To Quit Spending Your Money Lion Fight How to Succeed with Integrity in a Competitive Workplace Ninja The Last Thing You See by Joey Gannon Write A Killer Cover Letter In 7 Easy Steps Stage Fright Six Steps To Help You Conquer Stage Fright

Trending in Communication

1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next