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The Simplest Way To Make People Like You

The Simplest Way To Make People Like You

Most of time, when we have a big event coming up where we’ll be meeting important people, whether they’re our significant other’s family or new business connections, we start to think about what we can do to leave a great impression. These ideas are usually along the lines of what outfit we should wear (what do these boots really say about me?) or how we’re going to introduce ourselves (got that elevator pitch memorized?) but all of these details are completely irrelevant, if we overlook one small thing.

And that’s the one proven method that will make anyone like you. Believe it or not, it has nothing to do with how you look, what you wear, what your job is, or how much money is in your bank account.

Ready to learn what to do to make anyone like you?

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Drum-roll please…it’s…

Remembering people’s names

Everyone loves it when the person they’re talking to remembers their name. You’ll want to take it a step further and say their name out loud and often. Repeat it right after an introduction. If someone says, “Hi, my name is Danielle,” don’t just say, “Nice to meet you” like we’re conditioned to, take the extra time to say, “Nice to meet you, Danielle.” Try to work their name in again at least once during the conversation. Use it again, a third time, when saying your goodbyes.

In Dale Carnegie’s classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Carnegie claims that one’s own name is the sweetest sound to most of us. You might even say it’s music to our ears.

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Studies show that when we hear things we like, our brain releases dopamine, a natural mood enhancer. This is why music has such an impact on people. So by repeating a person’ s name to them a few times, you’re not just proving that you care enough to remember it, you’re also causing them to feel a little better.

Maya Angelou once said: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Isn’t it crazy that you can start to achieve that by the simple act of remembering someone’s name?

But just a minute – what if you don’t want people to just like you, you want them to LOVE you? Well, there’s a method for that, too!

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It’s as simple as letting people know that you care. Ask them questions about themselves. Don’t just ask someone, “How’s it going?” and then walk away without listening to the answer. Ask how their day was and, when they answer, listen. Don’t spend the time during their response thinking about what you’re going to say back or what you can tell them next about yourself. Really be interested in what they have to say.

Doing this will set you so far apart from every other random Joe they meet who asks the standard “How’s it going?” and “How have you been?”

We’ve all been in that situation: someone asks you how you are and you start to reply and then you notice they’re just nodding their head along in order to appear like they’re listening, while their eyes start to glaze over. What’s even better (well, okay, worse) is when you’re in the middle of a story and they start to check their phone and let loose some “Uh huh”s every few seconds, assuming you’ll never catch on to the fact that they’re not taking in a single thing you’re saying. They might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says “I’d rather be on Facebook.”

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You do not want to be this person. I repeat: You do NOT want to be this person, for a couple of reasons.

First of all, it feels gross to be a phony. Listening to someone talk on and on about themselves when you don’t care at all is no fun. Having to fake interest in what they’re saying when you’d rather be anywhere else besides in that conversation is just the worst.

Second, people can tell when you’re really not interested in what they’re saying. They might continue the conversation because that’s the polite thing to do, but trust me, they know. Just like you know. All of us, we always know. This could in fact, make the person you’re trying to impress actually dislike you, which is the exact opposite of what you’re aiming for.

The solution: actually care. Be interested. Open your mind. Get excited about learning about different types of people. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at what kinds of friendships and connections you can make.

Featured photo credit: make anyone like you via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

The Need for Change

Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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Happy_old_man

    Signs It’s Time to Redefine

    “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

    So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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    In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

    “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

    The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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    When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

    Aronld in Predator

      Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

      And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

      Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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