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The Simplest Way To Make People Like You

The Simplest Way To Make People Like You

Most of time, when we have a big event coming up where we’ll be meeting important people, whether they’re our significant other’s family or new business connections, we start to think about what we can do to leave a great impression. These ideas are usually along the lines of what outfit we should wear (what do these boots really say about me?) or how we’re going to introduce ourselves (got that elevator pitch memorized?) but all of these details are completely irrelevant, if we overlook one small thing.

And that’s the one proven method that will make anyone like you. Believe it or not, it has nothing to do with how you look, what you wear, what your job is, or how much money is in your bank account.

Ready to learn what to do to make anyone like you?

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Drum-roll please…it’s…

Remembering people’s names

Everyone loves it when the person they’re talking to remembers their name. You’ll want to take it a step further and say their name out loud and often. Repeat it right after an introduction. If someone says, “Hi, my name is Danielle,” don’t just say, “Nice to meet you” like we’re conditioned to, take the extra time to say, “Nice to meet you, Danielle.” Try to work their name in again at least once during the conversation. Use it again, a third time, when saying your goodbyes.

In Dale Carnegie’s classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Carnegie claims that one’s own name is the sweetest sound to most of us. You might even say it’s music to our ears.

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Studies show that when we hear things we like, our brain releases dopamine, a natural mood enhancer. This is why music has such an impact on people. So by repeating a person’ s name to them a few times, you’re not just proving that you care enough to remember it, you’re also causing them to feel a little better.

Maya Angelou once said: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Isn’t it crazy that you can start to achieve that by the simple act of remembering someone’s name?

But just a minute – what if you don’t want people to just like you, you want them to LOVE you? Well, there’s a method for that, too!

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It’s as simple as letting people know that you care. Ask them questions about themselves. Don’t just ask someone, “How’s it going?” and then walk away without listening to the answer. Ask how their day was and, when they answer, listen. Don’t spend the time during their response thinking about what you’re going to say back or what you can tell them next about yourself. Really be interested in what they have to say.

Doing this will set you so far apart from every other random Joe they meet who asks the standard “How’s it going?” and “How have you been?”

We’ve all been in that situation: someone asks you how you are and you start to reply and then you notice they’re just nodding their head along in order to appear like they’re listening, while their eyes start to glaze over. What’s even better (well, okay, worse) is when you’re in the middle of a story and they start to check their phone and let loose some “Uh huh”s every few seconds, assuming you’ll never catch on to the fact that they’re not taking in a single thing you’re saying. They might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says “I’d rather be on Facebook.”

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You do not want to be this person. I repeat: You do NOT want to be this person, for a couple of reasons.

First of all, it feels gross to be a phony. Listening to someone talk on and on about themselves when you don’t care at all is no fun. Having to fake interest in what they’re saying when you’d rather be anywhere else besides in that conversation is just the worst.

Second, people can tell when you’re really not interested in what they’re saying. They might continue the conversation because that’s the polite thing to do, but trust me, they know. Just like you know. All of us, we always know. This could in fact, make the person you’re trying to impress actually dislike you, which is the exact opposite of what you’re aiming for.

The solution: actually care. Be interested. Open your mind. Get excited about learning about different types of people. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at what kinds of friendships and connections you can make.

Featured photo credit: make anyone like you via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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