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Live A Better Life By Making These 8 Choices

Live A Better Life By Making These 8 Choices

Life can be a beautiful journey, a crazy ride, a big adventure.

But it can also be a living nightmare, a constant struggle, a hard teacher.

It’s all up to you.

In each moment, you choose which side of it to embrace and that affects your mind, body and soul, your present and your future, the person you become, as well as other people in your life. So here are some of the choices you need to make in order to see this world for the wonderful place it is – full of opportunities, kindness and love.

1. Let go of the past.

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    You won’t be able to continue your life and enjoy your days if you’re stuck in past memories and constantly reliving what has happened a long time ago.

    Free yourself from the burden of the past by letting go, by realizing that nothing can be done and you can only learn from it. Leave it behind and move on stronger than ever. Great things are waiting for you out there.

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    2. Don’t take things too personally.

    We tend to overthink every little detail of our days. We think life is unfair when something bad happens. We keep asking ”why” when someone leaves us. We fail and give up.

    But you need to understand that stuff like that shouldn’t be taken personally. People leave, they argue or are mean because they have their own problems, are misunderstood or just don’t need you anymore. It’s not your fault.

    You make mistakes and fail, yes. And the beauty of it is that you get to try again, but be more experienced and confident this time. That’s how leaders are created. No one succeeds from scratch.

    And you may meet bad people, may end up in awkward situations, things may be taken from you, and you may lose a lot. But life has limits too. Don’t expect too much from it. Learn how to move on and keep working on the things you believe in.

    3. Choose less over more.

    If you manage to make that a habit, you’ll live a simpler, freer, happier and more peaceful life.

    Get rid of most of your nonessential belongings, speak less so that you can listen more, eat less and dress more simply.

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    Eliminate the people in your life that only burden you with negativity, because you don’t need them. Shorten your to-do list by focusing on the essential things you have to do and ditch everything else that only keeps you busy.

    4. Appreciate what you have.

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      Grateful people live great lives.

      They are thankful each day for what they have. And are so much happier because they focus on the people they love, the opportunities that are everywhere around them, the things they enjoy doing, the time they have, the place they live in, the friends they have, and so on. They smile about everything they own and appreciate what life gives them.

      5. Stop worrying about the future.

      By constantly thinking about what might happen, you miss out on the present moment, which is where life is happening.

      We worry about tomorrow, we fear something bad might happen. We try to predict it, we prepare for everything, and we try to plan our days. But in the end, stuff just happens. And the only thing we can do is enjoy it to the fullest and make the best of it.

      Life is full of surprises. And that is a good thing. But by expecting the worst to happen, you complicate life and make it hard. So let go of all those worries and the need to control and predict everything.

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      Just leave it behind and go with the flow.

      6. Realize that you yourself are enough.

      You don’t really need anyone to make you feel good and to start living. So stop waiting for them. That’s just another excuse that keeps you from dealing with things.

      There may be a void inside you, but another person won’t fill it. You need to fix your relationship with yourself first – to start loving, appreciating and accepting yourself for the person you are.

      Only then will you be able to share your life with someone special, and show him or her what a great individual you are.

      7. Always be on the lookout for something new.

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        You can truly live a life full of excitement if you choose to live outside your comfort zone every once in a while.

        Take risks, try new things, do what scares you and challenge yourself as much as you can. That’s how you grow and improve, and that’s how you feel free and full of life.

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        8. Choose kindness.

        Be kind to everyone you meet. No matter how they treat you, you can always be polite, smile and offer help.

        Most people are sad, that they’ve experienced bad things, had their heart broken or lost a loved one, never reached their dreams, or never dared to follow them and now live in regret. Most people aren’t satisfied and can’t see the beauty of life, therefore don’t trust anyone. They’ve lost hope and tend to think life is unfair to them. Many are alone too.

        So keep that in mind. And when you least expect it, you’ll become the reason for someone like that to change their mind.

        Start making these eight choices a regular part of your life. You’ll soon be able to appreciate and enjoy every single day and make the best of it.

        Featured photo credit: 古 天熱 via flickr.com

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        Last Updated on April 6, 2020

        10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

        10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

        Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

        Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

        Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

        So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

        1. Be Authentic

        To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

        Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

        Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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        2. Listen

        Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

        To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

        Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

        Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

        3. Become an Expert

        Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

        You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

        4. Lead with Story

        From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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        If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

        5. Lead by Example

        It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

        ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

        We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

        6. Catch People Doing Good

        A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

        Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

        7. Be Effusive with Praise

        It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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        Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

        8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

        I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

        The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

        If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

        9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

        The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

        The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

        If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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        10. Understand Your Lane

        If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

        Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

        You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

        Final Thoughts

        Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

        It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

        More Tips About Making Influence

        Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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