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Learn How To Really Maintain A Long-Term And Fulfilling Relationship

Learn How To Really Maintain A Long-Term And Fulfilling Relationship

Many men think that seduction stops when the relationship begins. Some guys think of  “settling down” as a kind of retirement, a vacation from being an independent charismatic person, and a shift to a more restrictive lifestyle. These men know nothing about women or living as a couple…

The contradiction is that in seduction the idea is to show you are attracted and make the girl attracted back. There’s no use in trying to conceal it. But why do we use the tools of seduction during the first few dates and then throw them away? And why do we trade in the excitement of the seduction for the stability of a relationship anyways?

We will explore all of these issues through the most important question: does seduction stop once you enter the door of a relationship? Hang on; the answer is going to blow you away!

A relationship is not an end in itself

What many people forget is that entering into a relationship is not jumping into a bed of rose petals. It shouldn’t be some kind of life goal (note that people obsessed with the idea of living as a couple face enormous difficulties in finding a suitable partner) nor fate.

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I have often observed this kind of thinking. The guy in a relationship is seen either as a caged prisoner desperate for freedom, or as the luckiest man in the world (let’s be honest, according to the shape of his girlfriend).

However, we all need to recognize that the flame of a relationship grows through a simple process: seduction.

There is nothing shameful in this. Having feelings is not something we control. They are there, and that’s it. From that point on, it is our responsibility only to make enough efforts to continue just enough to keep the flame alive.

Love stories don’t just happen, gentlemen. They evolve, taking shape, according to mutual feelings, time spent together, arguments, or successes …

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Love stories as cyclical patterns

What people see on the surface in any relationship is a happy couple, solid, ready to meet the challenges of everyday life. This idea is bolstered by what we often consider a traditional family (two parents and two children).

These standards tend to make us believe that once we fall into a relationship the worst is over. We’ve made it! But then the passion dies. “L’amour fou” (mad love) is a short-term contract. Once this period (from 1 to 3 years according to experts) is over, the challenge begins.

Yes, I said it: CHALLENGE. Any routine that can lead to comfort, can also lead to weariness. And weariness can slowly lead to separation. You must build a set of habits that keep things interesting if you want to push through this period.

This spiral can be prevented, and here we’ll give you some tools to push through … First off we need to establish that seduction should constantly remain part of your repertoire. Second, stop thinking about whether or not you’ve found “the one” (it’s a silly question, it will be obvious, and it’s the basis of a boring relationship).

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Actions to fully satisfy your partner on a daily basis

Relationship seduction will be A couple needs energy and dynamism. The latter can be created or promoted by following some simple but effective principles:

Be yourself: It is a necessity. A man who acts like a phony dick will eventually be tossed into the trash heap. Psychological and intellectual challenges must be permanent. Your personal development is at the heart of your relationship. Be a man or your relationship would not survive.

Don’t be predictable: Instead of waiting for a birthday or valentine’s day, be more the type to organize surprises from time to time (go out to dine in a restaurant, travel or make a short trip, have a romantic weekend …). This will kick boring habits to the curb. Include your partner in your personal development process. Bam! Two birds and one stone…

Always be honest and sincere: A life based on lies and deception doesn’t last you very long. If you love your partner, prove it by allowing him or her to get a place in your world and never hid from her what lies deep within you.

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Be strong:  If you can share your feelings and thoughts, be careful not to abandon your status as an independent man. Women are looking for protection and security (financial, intellectual, psychological and physical). So do not spend your time complaining or highlight your weaknesses.

Be independent: An attractive man is a proactive man, always demanding challenges and personal fulfillment. If she feels she is a hindrance to your development there may be lost confidence (on both sides) in your ability to be happy with her. Stay active!

This is but a small snapshot. Unlike in traditional seduction, in relationship seduction men need to consistently and effectively work on their image, behavior… otherwise the relationship could go haywire. So, is seduction important to relationships? Yes!

Seduction is not only important; it is the cement, the base. If you abandon this outlook when settling down with a woman, you lose yourself and your freedom, and you might lose the girl in the process.

You have been warned, my friend.

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Last Updated on April 8, 2020

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

We all know some overachievers: supermoms who manage to get online degrees between cleaning, cooking, and taking kids to practice; students who write 10-page papers when the directions call for 4; managers whose resumes look more like pages from the Guinness book of Records.

How do they do it all? How is it possible that one person can graduate at the top of their class, found an orphanage in India, run 30k marathons, write a best-selling book, travel all over the world and learn to speak Mandarin Chinese while having a full-time job?

What’s the secret of an overachiever? Here’re 11 things overachievers do differently that you can learn from.

1. They Know How to Manage Their Time

It’s pretty simple actually – you can never become an overachiever if you don’t know how to organize your time efficiently.

The great thing is that overachievers are ready to share their knowledge and time management talent with the rest of the world. Read The 4-Hour Workweek or The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

2. They Don’t Spend Hours Watching TV or Playing Computer Games

Mostly because they have better things to do, like exercising, reading, spending an evening with their family or volunteering to work in the local soup kitchen. Their philosophy is simple – the world is full of wonderful things to try, explore and experience. Watching TV is not one of them.

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3. They Are Obsessed With Perfection

Imagine Steve Jobs’ work approach and you’ll understand the level of perfection and painfully high standards that overachievers set for themselves and those around them. Often it pays off (especially if they focus on just one domain). But sometimes compulsive over-striving turns into a sure-fire road to disappointments and unfinished tasks.

Learn how to strike a balance: How Not to Let Perfectionism Secretly Screw You Up

4. They Know How To Inspire

Overachievers learn quickly that it is much easier to achieve goals through collaboration (and especially delegation). So they know how to inspire, encourage, persuade and motivate people around them. Even though they often drive their team crazy with their stubbornness and perfectionism, people quickly follow under the spell of their enthusiasm and greater vision.

Learn these 10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively.

5. They Set Clear Goals

The term “overachiever” itself implies that they know how to achieve goals. That is kind of hard to do if your goals are vague, unclear and lack specific deadline, which is why overachievers educate themselves, read goal-setting books, and think about the best way to approach a new task.

Although, it’s worth mentioning that overachievers usually use their time management and goal-setting skills towards competitive, “I want to kick butt” type of goals rather than self-improvement, mastery goals.

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Take a look at these tips to help you set clearer goals: What Are SMART Goals (And How to Use Them to Become Successful)

6. They Are Organized

It’s hard to imagine a disorganized overachiever, isn’t it? Their great organizational and planning skills usually serve three main purposes: keeping track of time, keeping track of progress and keeping track of achievements.

This hasn’t been confirmed by scientific research yet, but overachievers might actually get a “runner’s high” from crossing tasks off their to-do lists, and making new to-do lists.

Here’s How to Organize Your Life: 10 Habits of Really Organized People

7. They Try to Avoid Failure at All Costs

Some psychologists believe that overachievers place their self-worth on their competence, driven by an underlying fear of failure. Rather than setting and striving for goals based on a pure desire to achieve, their core motivation becomes avoiding failure. This may explain the fact that overachiever beat themselves up for even little setbacks and seemingly-insignificant mistakes.

But be aware that having a strong fear of failure can wrek havoc your productivity. So the best thing to do? Learn to conquer the fear: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It)

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8. They Love Awards

Who doesn’t love them, right? True enough, but unlike most people who like to feel acknowledged and appreciated for their efforts, overachievers are bent on collecting ‘awards’, be it university degrees, spelling bee prizes or unusual destinations.

While loving awares isn’t bad, it’s even better if you’re driven by internal motivation instead of external ones which could be quite uncontrolable or unstable: Why Is Internal Motivation So Powerful (And How to Find It).

9. They Don’t Understand the Concept of Work Hours

Don’t get surprised if you receive a work-related email anywhere between 8 p.m. and midnight. It’s something overachievers usually do and you weren’t the only one. At least 20 more emails have been sent during these hours to other people. The concepts of over-achieving and working overtime usually go hand in hand.

The downside of this is an imbalnced life, which may need to problems in other aspects of life including health and relationships. A better way is to Achieve a Realistic Work Life Balance.

10. They Rest

Overachievers might often be labeled as “workaholics”, because they often ignore bodily signs of hunger, fatigue and even a full bladder, hoping to finish just one last little part. This doesn’t mean that overachievers don’t know how to disconnect and relax.

True that they tend to work in the highest gear, but they also have enough sense to give themselves time to rest and recharge. Of course, they do it in their own overachieving way, preferring climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or hiking through the Amazon jungle to lazing on the beach.

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11. Overachievers Continuously Educate Themselves

A great quality that most overachievers have is the hunger for knowledge. They surround themselves with bright people. They know how to listen, and most importantly, they get tons of mentoring.

Despite the fact that overachievers want to excel at everything they set their minds on, they are humble enough to admit that to get on top of their game, they need help. And they are willing to pay someone to push, coach and guide them.

You too can learn How to Create a Habit of Continuous Learning for a Better You.

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Featured photo credit: Nghia Le via unsplash.com

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