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How These 30 Ridiculous & Awful Behaviors Make You Healthier And Happier

How These 30 Ridiculous & Awful Behaviors Make You Healthier And Happier

We all know someone who has strong opinions about which behaviors simply should not be allowed.

Even when they don’t speak, their raised eyebrows, pinched lips and rolled eyeballs let you know exactly what they are thinking. There are many behaviors that have been labeled as bad, but have you ever really looked at these opinions and decided for yourself whether or not they were correct?

Some behaviors are actually symptoms of a healthy mental state even though certain people will have us believe that they are unusual or “crazy”. Well, I don’t believe them any more. Here are some behaviors that I think we all should be doing a lot.

1. Go ahead and show off!

Where did the idea originate that it was not okay to exhibit a skill you worked hard to attain? Was Pavarotti a show off? How about Fred Astaire, Katy Perry, Adele or Led Zeppelin? Are they showing off?

How come it is okay for these people to exhibit their skill and it is not okay for you to do so? That is a load of bunk! Go ahead and show what you can do. If someone dislikes you for doing it, move them to the distant edges of your universe. Suppression of expression is not healthy!

2. Go ahead and disagree!

There is no legitimate law that says you have to agree with everything. Although some people like to make it difficult for those who do not slavishly nod their heads whenever someone speaks, it is unhealthy and unsafe not to think for yourself.

3. Laugh really loudly!

A great belly laugh is really healthy. It can blow off a lot of negative mental energy.

Life is not supposed to be serious. You get more work done when you are lighthearted than when you are being serious. Things magically go your way when you are happy.

Go ahead! Laugh!

4. Get mad!

I don’t know how this idea got started, but some people actually think that anger equals insanity! The only time anger is crazy is when it doesn’t match the situation in present time.

If there is something to get mad about, go ahead and get mad. Being mad by itself is perfectly okay! Just don’t take your frustrations out on others and don’t injure people, blame them falsely or make them upset. And don’t stay mad forever.

5. Be enthusiastic!

Like anger, enthusiasm has become one of those emotional states that some believe are unacceptable or crazy. There is nothing more sane than enthusiasm. It is the opposite of crazy.

Be really jazzed up about something! Be passionate and really let others know about it! There is nothing more attractive than someone who is passionate about what they are doing. Passion draws people.

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6. Be curious!

Wonder about things and then ask. Most people like it when someone takes an interest in them or their work. Healthy people are naturally curious and care about those around them.

Learn about the things you are curious about and the richness of your life will increase dramatically!

7. Be alone!

Just because you want to be alone does not mean you are anti-social or depressed. It just means that you want to be alone. There is a lot of relief at times in not having to do anything but exactly what you want to do. Being alone also lets us gather our thoughts and regroup. Take the time to do it when you think it’s necessary.

8. Sing so that everyone can hear you!

One day, I was at a high school career day advising students about a career as a performer and instructor. Immediately the kids insisted that I sing. I had nothing prepared and had to show that I walked the walk so I sang out loud right there in the school lunch room. Silence fell and when I was done, applause.

I never expected to be called on to sing and I really think it was a challenge.  When I did, it was very liberating and I signed up a wonderful new student who loved the fact that I sang in front of everyone. Singing is one of the biggest joys of life. Don’t deny yourself!

9. Cry it out!

When someone starts to cry, it breaks people’s hearts and, bless them, they rush to try and get the crying person to stop. What they don’t realize is that crying is a way to release negative emotions and sometimes it is very necessary.

When a child is injured, letting them just cry gets rid of the negative emotion that could otherwise affect their lives. When you are sad, go ahead and cry, then dry your eyes and handle what made you sad. Sadness, like all emotions, is a part of life and we must experience it.

10. Stay in bed all day!

Some people feel energetic on some days, and feel completely exhausted on other days. If you have an exhausting day, take the day off and stay in bed. You would be amazed at how much more productive you can be when you let your body catch up with the rest it needs.

Get some movies, soup and tea and climb under the covers!

11. Rush to someone’s aid!

We have all seen the videos where someone is being attacked and no one does anything about it. What is that about at all? If someone is being bullied, go help them. If someone has their arms full of groceries, open the door. If someone falls, go make sure they are okay.

This “mind your own business” mentality is all wrong and is a sign of someone who lives in fear of other people. Other people are our business and helping them is our duty, not just a nice thing to do.

12. Tell someone when you are upset!

I know that we are expected to avoid “wearing our hearts on our sleeves” and swallowing our upsets but why? We can tell someone that we are upset and we are not wrong for being upset.

Telling someone that we are upset opens the door to healing the sadness and learning about each other so that we can avoid future upsets. Avoid blaming the other person or blasting them angrily but communicate with them and work out a solution.

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13. Cancel an appointment!

We have hard days when we overextended ourselves. We are not bad. We just miscalculated. Cancelling an appointment that makes your schedule way too tight makes life easier. Cancel it with enough notice so that the person can reschedule with someone else and don’t make a habit of it. But remember, cancelling one appointment does not make you any less superman or superwoman.

14. Be the first to say I love you!

I crack up at some of these unwritten dating and social “laws”. Honestly, I think they are all Seinfeld episodes. If you love someone, tell them! Love does not obligate someone. Love is just love.

15. Touch someone!

OMG! Did I actually say that? With all of the sexual harassment weirdness around these days? Well, the bottom line is that some people do not hear you or even really know you are there until you lay your hand on their arm.

I teach kids and sometimes it only takes a gentle touch on their sleeve to let them know that I am here and waiting for their attention.

Obviously don’t touch someone who you perceive has a huge button on being touched, but most people like a little physical contact. It makes us more real to each other and we end up caring more about each other. This is a great way to help someone when words are inadequate as in heavy grief or confusion. Sometimes a touch is the best communication.

16. Smile first!

When you meet someone’s eyes, do you wait to see what their expression will reveal? Will it be welcoming or antagonistic? Try smiling first! No matter how the people react, you will have made it clear to them that the world is not a completely hostile place.

It may take stubborn persistence but sooner or later, you will train them to smile back.

17. Wear bright colors!

Forget about the latest fashion. Colors never go out of style and those who wear them are automatically stylish! Give those who look at you a treat, you will stand out and attract attention. Attention is a good thing!

18. Have dessert!

I know! Sugar is so bad for you! So what? Your soul sometimes needs dessert! My good friend Sally Nutter has a PhD in Nutrition and she tells me that there is nothing more eye opening than the hotel rooms at a nutritionist’s convention. Sally tells me of stories about hotel staff finding pizza boxes under the mattresses and half finished snack foods in the fridges. Apparently even nutritionists cheat every so often!

Life is about experiencing and we need to tip the balance in favor of good experiences. Dessert is a GOOD experience! Don’t eat it every night but don’t deny yourself the joy of a magnificent Tiramisu or hot fudge sundae every so often!

19. Say “No”!

I have heard it said that if you want something done, give it to the busy person and it will get handled. Fine, but what if you are that busy person? Do you have to handle EVERYTHING because others will not? NO!

Turn it down if you don’t want to do it! If it really needs to get done, someone will do it. You don’t have to always be the one stepping up, let others take their turn.

20. Make big plans!

If you personally have the belief that you can achieve something completely stellar, there is no reason you cannot. Your belief that you can do it is the only factor that determines whether you can. Others will likely come and try to rain all over your parade but that is just them saying that they know they could not do what you are planning. Go do it anyway.

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You don’t have to fail so that someone else can feel better about themselves. Plan big then do big. Life gets way more fun when you do so.

21. Feel lost!

There are times when you just don’t feel like you belong in this world. I know! Until recently I felt that a lot! It wasn’t until I decided to really do what I was meant to do, that I started to feel like I know where I am and where I am heading.

Feeling lost is a symptom, at least it was for me, of being just a little bit undecided on who you really are, where you are and what exactly you need to be doing. No one can decide this but you.

When you feel lost, stop, look at who you are. Then really look at the things around you and decide where you are. Do not be pulled back into past moments of pain, look at the world as it is now. Then really look at what your life’s purpose is and go achieve it! If you have trouble figuring it out how, read “30 Vital Things Your Future Self Will Thank You For“. It gives you some ideas.

22. Eat carbs!

Somewhere along the line, carbs became Public Enemy Number One with regard to dietary badboys. People everywhere are on the “No Carbs” band wagon.

Your body needs carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are your body’s way of getting instant energy. If you do not eat enough carbs, your body takes protein and turns it into carbs anyway.

Obviously you don’t want to live on bread and birthday cake, everything must be done in moderation but carbs do have a place in our diets along with proteins, vegetables, and fruits. What does not have a place in our diets is highly processed food as well as simple carbs like those found in sugary sweets, avoid these. Eat fresh, exercise and count calories to avoid obesity and live your life. Learn more about carbs here.

23. Play on social media!

The blood of life is communication. It is a truth that should be written down in concrete and never forgotten. When one is in communication with his fellows, he is more alive. It almost doesn’t matter what the communication is as long as it is accompanied by a certain amount of agreement and a certain amount of love and care.

Social media has made it possible for us to be in communication with, and get to know people on completely different continents.

I have always said that travel, meeting and growing to love other people is the key to world peace. We are not okay with someone bombing a village if we know the people in it. Suddenly everything having to do with other races becomes personal and that is how it should be.

We can move mountains just by communicating with others. Go nuts with communications! Be respectful and work to create unity in areas that need it. You will discover how truly powerful communication can be.

24. Drink a great cup of coffee!

Coffee is good for you if you don’t drink pots and pots of it. Coffee is filled with antioxidants and gives you a boost when you need it. Don’t settle for lousy coffee. Go get the good stuff!

25. Turn your face to the sun!

After years of hearing about how damaging the sun’s rays are, we are now being treated for vitamin D deficiencies! There are so may benefits to sun exposure that I cannot outline them all here. If you want more great information check out Dr. Mercola’s recommendations.

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26. Have a great glass of wine!

Wine, especially red wine has many healthy properties. From reducing your risk of stroke or heart disease to reducing your risk of colon cancer, red wine has become our good and loyal friend.

I am not advocating a drunken binge and never drink and drive, but have a glass of wine every so often. Sit and enjoy it while watching a sunset or enjoying a good book.

27. Eat fatty foods!

Fats, along with carbs have been considered the Bonnie and Clyde of dietary gangsters. They sit in their doughnut getaway car with their French fry tommy guns waiting for you to slip up and eat something fattening so they can come in and finish you off.

Fat is not necessarily bad. We have heard that there are good fats and bad fats. This is true. Your body needs some fat! Obviously sugary and fatty treats are to be avoided but honestly, one doughnut once in awhile will not kill you.

If you really want a fatty or sugary snack, don’t settle for the Little Debbie’s or Hostess cakes, go get a super high end cake that will really satisfy you. If you are gonna go, go big! Then get back on your normal, healthy diet.

28. Buy gifts for yourself!

Every so often we need to treat ourselves. If your life will be made much better because of that new handbag, go get it! Life’s little treats are one of the things that make life great.

29. Make up your own mind!

There is nothing as powerful as your own counsel. Nobody knows the ins and outs of your situation as much as you do and no one else is responsible for it. There are those who will disagree with how you are living your life but what of it? It’s your life and your responsibility. You know deep down what is right.

30. Believe that you are rebel!

The most powerful and the best people I know really believe that they are rebels. They know that they are ethical because they make a point of it. They know that they are smart because they have the power of good observation. They know that they are strong because they stand by their decisions and commitments.

They do not harm others, but help whenever they can. They are rebels because they have decided first what being rebellious means to them and then being and doing those things. The world needs more rebels! Be bad to the bone but in a good way!

Do you feel liberated? Have a look around and see what other behaviors are considered bad that might actually be good. I’ll bet you find a whole slew of them! Then go do those things and have a great life!

Write me a comment if you want to. I love hearing from you!

Featured photo credit: A cute, bi-racial toddler boy is sticking his tongue out at the camera. via shutterstock.com

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Chris Ellis

Successful Author, Life Coach and Musician

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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