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How These 30 Ridiculous & Awful Behaviors Make You Healthier And Happier

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How These 30 Ridiculous & Awful Behaviors Make You Healthier And Happier

We all know someone who has strong opinions about which behaviors simply should not be allowed.

Even when they don’t speak, their raised eyebrows, pinched lips and rolled eyeballs let you know exactly what they are thinking. There are many behaviors that have been labeled as bad, but have you ever really looked at these opinions and decided for yourself whether or not they were correct?

Some behaviors are actually symptoms of a healthy mental state even though certain people will have us believe that they are unusual or “crazy”. Well, I don’t believe them any more. Here are some behaviors that I think we all should be doing a lot.

1. Go ahead and show off!

Where did the idea originate that it was not okay to exhibit a skill you worked hard to attain? Was Pavarotti a show off? How about Fred Astaire, Katy Perry, Adele or Led Zeppelin? Are they showing off?

How come it is okay for these people to exhibit their skill and it is not okay for you to do so? That is a load of bunk! Go ahead and show what you can do. If someone dislikes you for doing it, move them to the distant edges of your universe. Suppression of expression is not healthy!

2. Go ahead and disagree!

There is no legitimate law that says you have to agree with everything. Although some people like to make it difficult for those who do not slavishly nod their heads whenever someone speaks, it is unhealthy and unsafe not to think for yourself.

3. Laugh really loudly!

A great belly laugh is really healthy. It can blow off a lot of negative mental energy.

Life is not supposed to be serious. You get more work done when you are lighthearted than when you are being serious. Things magically go your way when you are happy.

Go ahead! Laugh!

4. Get mad!

I don’t know how this idea got started, but some people actually think that anger equals insanity! The only time anger is crazy is when it doesn’t match the situation in present time.

If there is something to get mad about, go ahead and get mad. Being mad by itself is perfectly okay! Just don’t take your frustrations out on others and don’t injure people, blame them falsely or make them upset. And don’t stay mad forever.

5. Be enthusiastic!

Like anger, enthusiasm has become one of those emotional states that some believe are unacceptable or crazy. There is nothing more sane than enthusiasm. It is the opposite of crazy.

Be really jazzed up about something! Be passionate and really let others know about it! There is nothing more attractive than someone who is passionate about what they are doing. Passion draws people.

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6. Be curious!

Wonder about things and then ask. Most people like it when someone takes an interest in them or their work. Healthy people are naturally curious and care about those around them.

Learn about the things you are curious about and the richness of your life will increase dramatically!

7. Be alone!

Just because you want to be alone does not mean you are anti-social or depressed. It just means that you want to be alone. There is a lot of relief at times in not having to do anything but exactly what you want to do. Being alone also lets us gather our thoughts and regroup. Take the time to do it when you think it’s necessary.

8. Sing so that everyone can hear you!

One day, I was at a high school career day advising students about a career as a performer and instructor. Immediately the kids insisted that I sing. I had nothing prepared and had to show that I walked the walk so I sang out loud right there in the school lunch room. Silence fell and when I was done, applause.

I never expected to be called on to sing and I really think it was a challenge.  When I did, it was very liberating and I signed up a wonderful new student who loved the fact that I sang in front of everyone. Singing is one of the biggest joys of life. Don’t deny yourself!

9. Cry it out!

When someone starts to cry, it breaks people’s hearts and, bless them, they rush to try and get the crying person to stop. What they don’t realize is that crying is a way to release negative emotions and sometimes it is very necessary.

When a child is injured, letting them just cry gets rid of the negative emotion that could otherwise affect their lives. When you are sad, go ahead and cry, then dry your eyes and handle what made you sad. Sadness, like all emotions, is a part of life and we must experience it.

10. Stay in bed all day!

Some people feel energetic on some days, and feel completely exhausted on other days. If you have an exhausting day, take the day off and stay in bed. You would be amazed at how much more productive you can be when you let your body catch up with the rest it needs.

Get some movies, soup and tea and climb under the covers!

11. Rush to someone’s aid!

We have all seen the videos where someone is being attacked and no one does anything about it. What is that about at all? If someone is being bullied, go help them. If someone has their arms full of groceries, open the door. If someone falls, go make sure they are okay.

This “mind your own business” mentality is all wrong and is a sign of someone who lives in fear of other people. Other people are our business and helping them is our duty, not just a nice thing to do.

12. Tell someone when you are upset!

I know that we are expected to avoid “wearing our hearts on our sleeves” and swallowing our upsets but why? We can tell someone that we are upset and we are not wrong for being upset.

Telling someone that we are upset opens the door to healing the sadness and learning about each other so that we can avoid future upsets. Avoid blaming the other person or blasting them angrily but communicate with them and work out a solution.

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13. Cancel an appointment!

We have hard days when we overextended ourselves. We are not bad. We just miscalculated. Cancelling an appointment that makes your schedule way too tight makes life easier. Cancel it with enough notice so that the person can reschedule with someone else and don’t make a habit of it. But remember, cancelling one appointment does not make you any less superman or superwoman.

14. Be the first to say I love you!

I crack up at some of these unwritten dating and social “laws”. Honestly, I think they are all Seinfeld episodes. If you love someone, tell them! Love does not obligate someone. Love is just love.

15. Touch someone!

OMG! Did I actually say that? With all of the sexual harassment weirdness around these days? Well, the bottom line is that some people do not hear you or even really know you are there until you lay your hand on their arm.

I teach kids and sometimes it only takes a gentle touch on their sleeve to let them know that I am here and waiting for their attention.

Obviously don’t touch someone who you perceive has a huge button on being touched, but most people like a little physical contact. It makes us more real to each other and we end up caring more about each other. This is a great way to help someone when words are inadequate as in heavy grief or confusion. Sometimes a touch is the best communication.

16. Smile first!

When you meet someone’s eyes, do you wait to see what their expression will reveal? Will it be welcoming or antagonistic? Try smiling first! No matter how the people react, you will have made it clear to them that the world is not a completely hostile place.

It may take stubborn persistence but sooner or later, you will train them to smile back.

17. Wear bright colors!

Forget about the latest fashion. Colors never go out of style and those who wear them are automatically stylish! Give those who look at you a treat, you will stand out and attract attention. Attention is a good thing!

18. Have dessert!

I know! Sugar is so bad for you! So what? Your soul sometimes needs dessert! My good friend Sally Nutter has a PhD in Nutrition and she tells me that there is nothing more eye opening than the hotel rooms at a nutritionist’s convention. Sally tells me of stories about hotel staff finding pizza boxes under the mattresses and half finished snack foods in the fridges. Apparently even nutritionists cheat every so often!

Life is about experiencing and we need to tip the balance in favor of good experiences. Dessert is a GOOD experience! Don’t eat it every night but don’t deny yourself the joy of a magnificent Tiramisu or hot fudge sundae every so often!

19. Say “No”!

I have heard it said that if you want something done, give it to the busy person and it will get handled. Fine, but what if you are that busy person? Do you have to handle EVERYTHING because others will not? NO!

Turn it down if you don’t want to do it! If it really needs to get done, someone will do it. You don’t have to always be the one stepping up, let others take their turn.

20. Make big plans!

If you personally have the belief that you can achieve something completely stellar, there is no reason you cannot. Your belief that you can do it is the only factor that determines whether you can. Others will likely come and try to rain all over your parade but that is just them saying that they know they could not do what you are planning. Go do it anyway.

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You don’t have to fail so that someone else can feel better about themselves. Plan big then do big. Life gets way more fun when you do so.

21. Feel lost!

There are times when you just don’t feel like you belong in this world. I know! Until recently I felt that a lot! It wasn’t until I decided to really do what I was meant to do, that I started to feel like I know where I am and where I am heading.

Feeling lost is a symptom, at least it was for me, of being just a little bit undecided on who you really are, where you are and what exactly you need to be doing. No one can decide this but you.

When you feel lost, stop, look at who you are. Then really look at the things around you and decide where you are. Do not be pulled back into past moments of pain, look at the world as it is now. Then really look at what your life’s purpose is and go achieve it! If you have trouble figuring it out how, read “30 Vital Things Your Future Self Will Thank You For“. It gives you some ideas.

22. Eat carbs!

Somewhere along the line, carbs became Public Enemy Number One with regard to dietary badboys. People everywhere are on the “No Carbs” band wagon.

Your body needs carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are your body’s way of getting instant energy. If you do not eat enough carbs, your body takes protein and turns it into carbs anyway.

Obviously you don’t want to live on bread and birthday cake, everything must be done in moderation but carbs do have a place in our diets along with proteins, vegetables, and fruits. What does not have a place in our diets is highly processed food as well as simple carbs like those found in sugary sweets, avoid these. Eat fresh, exercise and count calories to avoid obesity and live your life. Learn more about carbs here.

23. Play on social media!

The blood of life is communication. It is a truth that should be written down in concrete and never forgotten. When one is in communication with his fellows, he is more alive. It almost doesn’t matter what the communication is as long as it is accompanied by a certain amount of agreement and a certain amount of love and care.

Social media has made it possible for us to be in communication with, and get to know people on completely different continents.

I have always said that travel, meeting and growing to love other people is the key to world peace. We are not okay with someone bombing a village if we know the people in it. Suddenly everything having to do with other races becomes personal and that is how it should be.

We can move mountains just by communicating with others. Go nuts with communications! Be respectful and work to create unity in areas that need it. You will discover how truly powerful communication can be.

24. Drink a great cup of coffee!

Coffee is good for you if you don’t drink pots and pots of it. Coffee is filled with antioxidants and gives you a boost when you need it. Don’t settle for lousy coffee. Go get the good stuff!

25. Turn your face to the sun!

After years of hearing about how damaging the sun’s rays are, we are now being treated for vitamin D deficiencies! There are so may benefits to sun exposure that I cannot outline them all here. If you want more great information check out Dr. Mercola’s recommendations.

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26. Have a great glass of wine!

Wine, especially red wine has many healthy properties. From reducing your risk of stroke or heart disease to reducing your risk of colon cancer, red wine has become our good and loyal friend.

I am not advocating a drunken binge and never drink and drive, but have a glass of wine every so often. Sit and enjoy it while watching a sunset or enjoying a good book.

27. Eat fatty foods!

Fats, along with carbs have been considered the Bonnie and Clyde of dietary gangsters. They sit in their doughnut getaway car with their French fry tommy guns waiting for you to slip up and eat something fattening so they can come in and finish you off.

Fat is not necessarily bad. We have heard that there are good fats and bad fats. This is true. Your body needs some fat! Obviously sugary and fatty treats are to be avoided but honestly, one doughnut once in awhile will not kill you.

If you really want a fatty or sugary snack, don’t settle for the Little Debbie’s or Hostess cakes, go get a super high end cake that will really satisfy you. If you are gonna go, go big! Then get back on your normal, healthy diet.

28. Buy gifts for yourself!

Every so often we need to treat ourselves. If your life will be made much better because of that new handbag, go get it! Life’s little treats are one of the things that make life great.

29. Make up your own mind!

There is nothing as powerful as your own counsel. Nobody knows the ins and outs of your situation as much as you do and no one else is responsible for it. There are those who will disagree with how you are living your life but what of it? It’s your life and your responsibility. You know deep down what is right.

30. Believe that you are rebel!

The most powerful and the best people I know really believe that they are rebels. They know that they are ethical because they make a point of it. They know that they are smart because they have the power of good observation. They know that they are strong because they stand by their decisions and commitments.

They do not harm others, but help whenever they can. They are rebels because they have decided first what being rebellious means to them and then being and doing those things. The world needs more rebels! Be bad to the bone but in a good way!

Do you feel liberated? Have a look around and see what other behaviors are considered bad that might actually be good. I’ll bet you find a whole slew of them! Then go do those things and have a great life!

Write me a comment if you want to. I love hearing from you!

Featured photo credit: A cute, bi-racial toddler boy is sticking his tongue out at the camera. via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on January 24, 2022

21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

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21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

Having texting and video conferencing at our fingertips, it appears that maintaining a long-distance relationship is easier than ever. Long-distance calls are no longer a luxury; the days when they needed to be rationed are long gone.

Long-distance couples do not have to depend on 3 p.m. postal delivery, waiting for news that is at best four days old.

Now we’re no longer even in the days of waiting for our loved ones to check their e-mail when they get home from work. Instant messaging keeps us hooked to each other even when we are out shopping, working, playing, watching a movie and doing much more.

Technology, however, cannot compensate for everything in a long-distance relationship, as anyone with a long-distance relationship will tell you.

Many long-distance relationships still seem emotionally difficult despite the lack of regular physical proximity.

People often think long-distance relationships will never work. It may be discouraged by your family, and some of your best friends may tell you not to take it too seriously in case you end up heartbroken.

Many things are not possible due to the extra distance – no one can promise it will be easy. Things could get complicated, and you might feel lonely and sad at times.

Still, many of us try them.

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However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest. Being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long-distance relationship.

Long-distance relationships may be tough, but they have their own surprises too.

Here’re 21 tips on how to make a long distance relationship work:

1. Avoid excessive communication.

It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.”

Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.

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2. See it as an opportunity.

“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous

View it as a learning journey for both of you. This is an opportunity for you to prove your love for one another. According to a Chinese proverb, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long-distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee,

“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4

3. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.

Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long-distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.

For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it all right for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.

4. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.

Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem.

To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.

5. Talk dirty with each other.

Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. In a way, sexual desire is like the glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Sexual need is not only biological but also emotional.

Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.

6. Avoid “dangerous” situations.

If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand to reassure them.

You should not let this sort of thing slip by because it will only make your partner extra worried or suspicious – and of course, very upset because they will feel powerless or lack control over the situation.

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You can fall victim to your traps by going out with eye candy from work after work or dating someone from your past who has been flirting with you without realizing it. Before entering a dangerous situation, you need to recognize the dangers.

Listen to your heart, but don’t just rely on it. Make sure you also listen to your mind.

7. Do things together.

Play a game online together. Watch a documentary at the same time on YouTube or Vimeo. Share a song on Skype while another plays the guitar. Video-call each other and go for a walk together. Together, go online shopping – and buy each other gifts (see #13).

You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it.

8. Do similar things.

Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc., to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about.

Even if you live apart, it’s nice to have some shared experiences.

9. Make visits to each other.

Every long-distance relationship is enriched by visits.

After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfil all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. These are typical for couples in long-distance relationships but more special and intimate for long-distance couples.

The atmosphere will be filled with fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows, and butterflies.

10. Have a goal in mind.

Are we going to be apart for a long time?” “what about the future?” These are the questions you should ask yourselves.

In fact, a couple cannot stay in a long-distance relationship forever. Eventually, we all need to settle down.

So make a plan with each other. Set up a timeline, mark down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal.

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It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still motivated to work together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.

That’s right, you need some motivation to make a relationship last too. Find out more about what motivates you here.

11. Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family.

You are alone, but you are not lonely unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends, and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that don’t involve your partner.

12. Stay honest with each other.

Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from the inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.

13. Know each other’s schedules.

It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and free. So that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when they are in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Make sure you are aware of everyone’s small and big events in their lives, i.e., college midterms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews, etc. Particularly if you live in different time zones, this becomes more important.

14. Keep track of each other’s social media activities.

Facebook and Instagram photos of each other. Send each other tweets. Tag each other on Facebook. Post stuff on each other’s wall. Let them know you care. Be cool with stalking each other.

15. Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to.

Memories have power. No matter what it is–a pendant, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a perfume bottle. Everyday items and things have meanings to us, whether we realize it or not. We all try to store memories in material things so that when our minds fail, we will still be able to look at or hold onto something that will help us recall our memories. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person when others may see little or no value in it.

16. Get a good messaging app.

This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent and common way of communication the two of you have. You need a good messaging app on your phones that allows interactions beyond words and emoticons.

Personally, I use this messaging app called LINE. I find it highly effective because it has a huge reserve of playful and very funny “stickers” that are free for its users to use. You can also go to the app’s “Sticker Shop” to download (or gift!) extra stickers of different themes (e.g., Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Snoopy, MARVEL, etc.) at a low price. Occasionally, the app will give out free sticker sets for promotions. This messaging app is cute and easy to learn to use.

17. Snail-mail your gift.

Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. Send each other gifts across the globe from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts, sexy underwear, and such.

18. Stay positive.

You need to constantly inject positive energy into the long-distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful, and you can sometimes feel lonely, but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.

One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.

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19. Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family.

This will help you two to know each other’s culture and values. Knowing small habits of each other helps in developing an understanding and building mutual trust.

Talking about family and friends gives you more matters to talk about. The best thing to talk about is gossip and scandals.

20. Video-call whenever possible.

Because sometimes looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.

A video call is though nothing like being together, but it’s the best thing and the most to do for coziness in a long-distance relationship.

21. Give each other pet names.

Because it’s cute. It keeps the lovey-dovey going. Having special names for each other reserved only for one another are heart-warming. Hearing that one word with love lifts our spirits up, and we feel assured all over again.

Chaos seems to fade away just by hearing that special word from someone special.

With the best wishes…

Love (or like) is a force that is beyond your control. Love just happens. The same goes for turning off those feelings, even when you get the perfect job halfway across the country.

Neither one of us expects to be long-distance in a relationship. But if you’re in a relationship like this, you’ll just have to make the most out of a difficult situation. These advice for long distance relationships will hopefully help you stay strong and cheerful when living apart from one another.

More Recommended Relationships Experts on Lifehack
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  • Dr. Magdalena Battles — A Doctor of Psychology with specialties include children, family relationships, domestic violence, and sexual assault
  • Randy Skilton —  An educator in the areas of relationships and self-help

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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