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How These 30 Ridiculous & Awful Behaviors Make You Healthier And Happier

How These 30 Ridiculous & Awful Behaviors Make You Healthier And Happier

We all know someone who has strong opinions about which behaviors simply should not be allowed.

Even when they don’t speak, their raised eyebrows, pinched lips and rolled eyeballs let you know exactly what they are thinking. There are many behaviors that have been labeled as bad, but have you ever really looked at these opinions and decided for yourself whether or not they were correct?

Some behaviors are actually symptoms of a healthy mental state even though certain people will have us believe that they are unusual or “crazy”. Well, I don’t believe them any more. Here are some behaviors that I think we all should be doing a lot.

1. Go ahead and show off!

Where did the idea originate that it was not okay to exhibit a skill you worked hard to attain? Was Pavarotti a show off? How about Fred Astaire, Katy Perry, Adele or Led Zeppelin? Are they showing off?

How come it is okay for these people to exhibit their skill and it is not okay for you to do so? That is a load of bunk! Go ahead and show what you can do. If someone dislikes you for doing it, move them to the distant edges of your universe. Suppression of expression is not healthy!

2. Go ahead and disagree!

There is no legitimate law that says you have to agree with everything. Although some people like to make it difficult for those who do not slavishly nod their heads whenever someone speaks, it is unhealthy and unsafe not to think for yourself.

3. Laugh really loudly!

A great belly laugh is really healthy. It can blow off a lot of negative mental energy.

Life is not supposed to be serious. You get more work done when you are lighthearted than when you are being serious. Things magically go your way when you are happy.

Go ahead! Laugh!

4. Get mad!

I don’t know how this idea got started, but some people actually think that anger equals insanity! The only time anger is crazy is when it doesn’t match the situation in present time.

If there is something to get mad about, go ahead and get mad. Being mad by itself is perfectly okay! Just don’t take your frustrations out on others and don’t injure people, blame them falsely or make them upset. And don’t stay mad forever.

5. Be enthusiastic!

Like anger, enthusiasm has become one of those emotional states that some believe are unacceptable or crazy. There is nothing more sane than enthusiasm. It is the opposite of crazy.

Be really jazzed up about something! Be passionate and really let others know about it! There is nothing more attractive than someone who is passionate about what they are doing. Passion draws people.

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6. Be curious!

Wonder about things and then ask. Most people like it when someone takes an interest in them or their work. Healthy people are naturally curious and care about those around them.

Learn about the things you are curious about and the richness of your life will increase dramatically!

7. Be alone!

Just because you want to be alone does not mean you are anti-social or depressed. It just means that you want to be alone. There is a lot of relief at times in not having to do anything but exactly what you want to do. Being alone also lets us gather our thoughts and regroup. Take the time to do it when you think it’s necessary.

8. Sing so that everyone can hear you!

One day, I was at a high school career day advising students about a career as a performer and instructor. Immediately the kids insisted that I sing. I had nothing prepared and had to show that I walked the walk so I sang out loud right there in the school lunch room. Silence fell and when I was done, applause.

I never expected to be called on to sing and I really think it was a challenge.  When I did, it was very liberating and I signed up a wonderful new student who loved the fact that I sang in front of everyone. Singing is one of the biggest joys of life. Don’t deny yourself!

9. Cry it out!

When someone starts to cry, it breaks people’s hearts and, bless them, they rush to try and get the crying person to stop. What they don’t realize is that crying is a way to release negative emotions and sometimes it is very necessary.

When a child is injured, letting them just cry gets rid of the negative emotion that could otherwise affect their lives. When you are sad, go ahead and cry, then dry your eyes and handle what made you sad. Sadness, like all emotions, is a part of life and we must experience it.

10. Stay in bed all day!

Some people feel energetic on some days, and feel completely exhausted on other days. If you have an exhausting day, take the day off and stay in bed. You would be amazed at how much more productive you can be when you let your body catch up with the rest it needs.

Get some movies, soup and tea and climb under the covers!

11. Rush to someone’s aid!

We have all seen the videos where someone is being attacked and no one does anything about it. What is that about at all? If someone is being bullied, go help them. If someone has their arms full of groceries, open the door. If someone falls, go make sure they are okay.

This “mind your own business” mentality is all wrong and is a sign of someone who lives in fear of other people. Other people are our business and helping them is our duty, not just a nice thing to do.

12. Tell someone when you are upset!

I know that we are expected to avoid “wearing our hearts on our sleeves” and swallowing our upsets but why? We can tell someone that we are upset and we are not wrong for being upset.

Telling someone that we are upset opens the door to healing the sadness and learning about each other so that we can avoid future upsets. Avoid blaming the other person or blasting them angrily but communicate with them and work out a solution.

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13. Cancel an appointment!

We have hard days when we overextended ourselves. We are not bad. We just miscalculated. Cancelling an appointment that makes your schedule way too tight makes life easier. Cancel it with enough notice so that the person can reschedule with someone else and don’t make a habit of it. But remember, cancelling one appointment does not make you any less superman or superwoman.

14. Be the first to say I love you!

I crack up at some of these unwritten dating and social “laws”. Honestly, I think they are all Seinfeld episodes. If you love someone, tell them! Love does not obligate someone. Love is just love.

15. Touch someone!

OMG! Did I actually say that? With all of the sexual harassment weirdness around these days? Well, the bottom line is that some people do not hear you or even really know you are there until you lay your hand on their arm.

I teach kids and sometimes it only takes a gentle touch on their sleeve to let them know that I am here and waiting for their attention.

Obviously don’t touch someone who you perceive has a huge button on being touched, but most people like a little physical contact. It makes us more real to each other and we end up caring more about each other. This is a great way to help someone when words are inadequate as in heavy grief or confusion. Sometimes a touch is the best communication.

16. Smile first!

When you meet someone’s eyes, do you wait to see what their expression will reveal? Will it be welcoming or antagonistic? Try smiling first! No matter how the people react, you will have made it clear to them that the world is not a completely hostile place.

It may take stubborn persistence but sooner or later, you will train them to smile back.

17. Wear bright colors!

Forget about the latest fashion. Colors never go out of style and those who wear them are automatically stylish! Give those who look at you a treat, you will stand out and attract attention. Attention is a good thing!

18. Have dessert!

I know! Sugar is so bad for you! So what? Your soul sometimes needs dessert! My good friend Sally Nutter has a PhD in Nutrition and she tells me that there is nothing more eye opening than the hotel rooms at a nutritionist’s convention. Sally tells me of stories about hotel staff finding pizza boxes under the mattresses and half finished snack foods in the fridges. Apparently even nutritionists cheat every so often!

Life is about experiencing and we need to tip the balance in favor of good experiences. Dessert is a GOOD experience! Don’t eat it every night but don’t deny yourself the joy of a magnificent Tiramisu or hot fudge sundae every so often!

19. Say “No”!

I have heard it said that if you want something done, give it to the busy person and it will get handled. Fine, but what if you are that busy person? Do you have to handle EVERYTHING because others will not? NO!

Turn it down if you don’t want to do it! If it really needs to get done, someone will do it. You don’t have to always be the one stepping up, let others take their turn.

20. Make big plans!

If you personally have the belief that you can achieve something completely stellar, there is no reason you cannot. Your belief that you can do it is the only factor that determines whether you can. Others will likely come and try to rain all over your parade but that is just them saying that they know they could not do what you are planning. Go do it anyway.

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You don’t have to fail so that someone else can feel better about themselves. Plan big then do big. Life gets way more fun when you do so.

21. Feel lost!

There are times when you just don’t feel like you belong in this world. I know! Until recently I felt that a lot! It wasn’t until I decided to really do what I was meant to do, that I started to feel like I know where I am and where I am heading.

Feeling lost is a symptom, at least it was for me, of being just a little bit undecided on who you really are, where you are and what exactly you need to be doing. No one can decide this but you.

When you feel lost, stop, look at who you are. Then really look at the things around you and decide where you are. Do not be pulled back into past moments of pain, look at the world as it is now. Then really look at what your life’s purpose is and go achieve it! If you have trouble figuring it out how, read “30 Vital Things Your Future Self Will Thank You For“. It gives you some ideas.

22. Eat carbs!

Somewhere along the line, carbs became Public Enemy Number One with regard to dietary badboys. People everywhere are on the “No Carbs” band wagon.

Your body needs carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are your body’s way of getting instant energy. If you do not eat enough carbs, your body takes protein and turns it into carbs anyway.

Obviously you don’t want to live on bread and birthday cake, everything must be done in moderation but carbs do have a place in our diets along with proteins, vegetables, and fruits. What does not have a place in our diets is highly processed food as well as simple carbs like those found in sugary sweets, avoid these. Eat fresh, exercise and count calories to avoid obesity and live your life. Learn more about carbs here.

23. Play on social media!

The blood of life is communication. It is a truth that should be written down in concrete and never forgotten. When one is in communication with his fellows, he is more alive. It almost doesn’t matter what the communication is as long as it is accompanied by a certain amount of agreement and a certain amount of love and care.

Social media has made it possible for us to be in communication with, and get to know people on completely different continents.

I have always said that travel, meeting and growing to love other people is the key to world peace. We are not okay with someone bombing a village if we know the people in it. Suddenly everything having to do with other races becomes personal and that is how it should be.

We can move mountains just by communicating with others. Go nuts with communications! Be respectful and work to create unity in areas that need it. You will discover how truly powerful communication can be.

24. Drink a great cup of coffee!

Coffee is good for you if you don’t drink pots and pots of it. Coffee is filled with antioxidants and gives you a boost when you need it. Don’t settle for lousy coffee. Go get the good stuff!

25. Turn your face to the sun!

After years of hearing about how damaging the sun’s rays are, we are now being treated for vitamin D deficiencies! There are so may benefits to sun exposure that I cannot outline them all here. If you want more great information check out Dr. Mercola’s recommendations.

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26. Have a great glass of wine!

Wine, especially red wine has many healthy properties. From reducing your risk of stroke or heart disease to reducing your risk of colon cancer, red wine has become our good and loyal friend.

I am not advocating a drunken binge and never drink and drive, but have a glass of wine every so often. Sit and enjoy it while watching a sunset or enjoying a good book.

27. Eat fatty foods!

Fats, along with carbs have been considered the Bonnie and Clyde of dietary gangsters. They sit in their doughnut getaway car with their French fry tommy guns waiting for you to slip up and eat something fattening so they can come in and finish you off.

Fat is not necessarily bad. We have heard that there are good fats and bad fats. This is true. Your body needs some fat! Obviously sugary and fatty treats are to be avoided but honestly, one doughnut once in awhile will not kill you.

If you really want a fatty or sugary snack, don’t settle for the Little Debbie’s or Hostess cakes, go get a super high end cake that will really satisfy you. If you are gonna go, go big! Then get back on your normal, healthy diet.

28. Buy gifts for yourself!

Every so often we need to treat ourselves. If your life will be made much better because of that new handbag, go get it! Life’s little treats are one of the things that make life great.

29. Make up your own mind!

There is nothing as powerful as your own counsel. Nobody knows the ins and outs of your situation as much as you do and no one else is responsible for it. There are those who will disagree with how you are living your life but what of it? It’s your life and your responsibility. You know deep down what is right.

30. Believe that you are rebel!

The most powerful and the best people I know really believe that they are rebels. They know that they are ethical because they make a point of it. They know that they are smart because they have the power of good observation. They know that they are strong because they stand by their decisions and commitments.

They do not harm others, but help whenever they can. They are rebels because they have decided first what being rebellious means to them and then being and doing those things. The world needs more rebels! Be bad to the bone but in a good way!

Do you feel liberated? Have a look around and see what other behaviors are considered bad that might actually be good. I’ll bet you find a whole slew of them! Then go do those things and have a great life!

Write me a comment if you want to. I love hearing from you!

Featured photo credit: A cute, bi-racial toddler boy is sticking his tongue out at the camera. via shutterstock.com

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Chris Ellis

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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