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How These 30 Ridiculous & Awful Behaviors Make You Healthier And Happier

How These 30 Ridiculous & Awful Behaviors Make You Healthier And Happier

We all know someone who has strong opinions about which behaviors simply should not be allowed.

Even when they don’t speak, their raised eyebrows, pinched lips and rolled eyeballs let you know exactly what they are thinking. There are many behaviors that have been labeled as bad, but have you ever really looked at these opinions and decided for yourself whether or not they were correct?

Some behaviors are actually symptoms of a healthy mental state even though certain people will have us believe that they are unusual or “crazy”. Well, I don’t believe them any more. Here are some behaviors that I think we all should be doing a lot.

1. Go ahead and show off!

Where did the idea originate that it was not okay to exhibit a skill you worked hard to attain? Was Pavarotti a show off? How about Fred Astaire, Katy Perry, Adele or Led Zeppelin? Are they showing off?

How come it is okay for these people to exhibit their skill and it is not okay for you to do so? That is a load of bunk! Go ahead and show what you can do. If someone dislikes you for doing it, move them to the distant edges of your universe. Suppression of expression is not healthy!

2. Go ahead and disagree!

There is no legitimate law that says you have to agree with everything. Although some people like to make it difficult for those who do not slavishly nod their heads whenever someone speaks, it is unhealthy and unsafe not to think for yourself.

3. Laugh really loudly!

A great belly laugh is really healthy. It can blow off a lot of negative mental energy.

Life is not supposed to be serious. You get more work done when you are lighthearted than when you are being serious. Things magically go your way when you are happy.

Go ahead! Laugh!

4. Get mad!

I don’t know how this idea got started, but some people actually think that anger equals insanity! The only time anger is crazy is when it doesn’t match the situation in present time.

If there is something to get mad about, go ahead and get mad. Being mad by itself is perfectly okay! Just don’t take your frustrations out on others and don’t injure people, blame them falsely or make them upset. And don’t stay mad forever.

5. Be enthusiastic!

Like anger, enthusiasm has become one of those emotional states that some believe are unacceptable or crazy. There is nothing more sane than enthusiasm. It is the opposite of crazy.

Be really jazzed up about something! Be passionate and really let others know about it! There is nothing more attractive than someone who is passionate about what they are doing. Passion draws people.

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6. Be curious!

Wonder about things and then ask. Most people like it when someone takes an interest in them or their work. Healthy people are naturally curious and care about those around them.

Learn about the things you are curious about and the richness of your life will increase dramatically!

7. Be alone!

Just because you want to be alone does not mean you are anti-social or depressed. It just means that you want to be alone. There is a lot of relief at times in not having to do anything but exactly what you want to do. Being alone also lets us gather our thoughts and regroup. Take the time to do it when you think it’s necessary.

8. Sing so that everyone can hear you!

One day, I was at a high school career day advising students about a career as a performer and instructor. Immediately the kids insisted that I sing. I had nothing prepared and had to show that I walked the walk so I sang out loud right there in the school lunch room. Silence fell and when I was done, applause.

I never expected to be called on to sing and I really think it was a challenge.  When I did, it was very liberating and I signed up a wonderful new student who loved the fact that I sang in front of everyone. Singing is one of the biggest joys of life. Don’t deny yourself!

9. Cry it out!

When someone starts to cry, it breaks people’s hearts and, bless them, they rush to try and get the crying person to stop. What they don’t realize is that crying is a way to release negative emotions and sometimes it is very necessary.

When a child is injured, letting them just cry gets rid of the negative emotion that could otherwise affect their lives. When you are sad, go ahead and cry, then dry your eyes and handle what made you sad. Sadness, like all emotions, is a part of life and we must experience it.

10. Stay in bed all day!

Some people feel energetic on some days, and feel completely exhausted on other days. If you have an exhausting day, take the day off and stay in bed. You would be amazed at how much more productive you can be when you let your body catch up with the rest it needs.

Get some movies, soup and tea and climb under the covers!

11. Rush to someone’s aid!

We have all seen the videos where someone is being attacked and no one does anything about it. What is that about at all? If someone is being bullied, go help them. If someone has their arms full of groceries, open the door. If someone falls, go make sure they are okay.

This “mind your own business” mentality is all wrong and is a sign of someone who lives in fear of other people. Other people are our business and helping them is our duty, not just a nice thing to do.

12. Tell someone when you are upset!

I know that we are expected to avoid “wearing our hearts on our sleeves” and swallowing our upsets but why? We can tell someone that we are upset and we are not wrong for being upset.

Telling someone that we are upset opens the door to healing the sadness and learning about each other so that we can avoid future upsets. Avoid blaming the other person or blasting them angrily but communicate with them and work out a solution.

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13. Cancel an appointment!

We have hard days when we overextended ourselves. We are not bad. We just miscalculated. Cancelling an appointment that makes your schedule way too tight makes life easier. Cancel it with enough notice so that the person can reschedule with someone else and don’t make a habit of it. But remember, cancelling one appointment does not make you any less superman or superwoman.

14. Be the first to say I love you!

I crack up at some of these unwritten dating and social “laws”. Honestly, I think they are all Seinfeld episodes. If you love someone, tell them! Love does not obligate someone. Love is just love.

15. Touch someone!

OMG! Did I actually say that? With all of the sexual harassment weirdness around these days? Well, the bottom line is that some people do not hear you or even really know you are there until you lay your hand on their arm.

I teach kids and sometimes it only takes a gentle touch on their sleeve to let them know that I am here and waiting for their attention.

Obviously don’t touch someone who you perceive has a huge button on being touched, but most people like a little physical contact. It makes us more real to each other and we end up caring more about each other. This is a great way to help someone when words are inadequate as in heavy grief or confusion. Sometimes a touch is the best communication.

16. Smile first!

When you meet someone’s eyes, do you wait to see what their expression will reveal? Will it be welcoming or antagonistic? Try smiling first! No matter how the people react, you will have made it clear to them that the world is not a completely hostile place.

It may take stubborn persistence but sooner or later, you will train them to smile back.

17. Wear bright colors!

Forget about the latest fashion. Colors never go out of style and those who wear them are automatically stylish! Give those who look at you a treat, you will stand out and attract attention. Attention is a good thing!

18. Have dessert!

I know! Sugar is so bad for you! So what? Your soul sometimes needs dessert! My good friend Sally Nutter has a PhD in Nutrition and she tells me that there is nothing more eye opening than the hotel rooms at a nutritionist’s convention. Sally tells me of stories about hotel staff finding pizza boxes under the mattresses and half finished snack foods in the fridges. Apparently even nutritionists cheat every so often!

Life is about experiencing and we need to tip the balance in favor of good experiences. Dessert is a GOOD experience! Don’t eat it every night but don’t deny yourself the joy of a magnificent Tiramisu or hot fudge sundae every so often!

19. Say “No”!

I have heard it said that if you want something done, give it to the busy person and it will get handled. Fine, but what if you are that busy person? Do you have to handle EVERYTHING because others will not? NO!

Turn it down if you don’t want to do it! If it really needs to get done, someone will do it. You don’t have to always be the one stepping up, let others take their turn.

20. Make big plans!

If you personally have the belief that you can achieve something completely stellar, there is no reason you cannot. Your belief that you can do it is the only factor that determines whether you can. Others will likely come and try to rain all over your parade but that is just them saying that they know they could not do what you are planning. Go do it anyway.

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You don’t have to fail so that someone else can feel better about themselves. Plan big then do big. Life gets way more fun when you do so.

21. Feel lost!

There are times when you just don’t feel like you belong in this world. I know! Until recently I felt that a lot! It wasn’t until I decided to really do what I was meant to do, that I started to feel like I know where I am and where I am heading.

Feeling lost is a symptom, at least it was for me, of being just a little bit undecided on who you really are, where you are and what exactly you need to be doing. No one can decide this but you.

When you feel lost, stop, look at who you are. Then really look at the things around you and decide where you are. Do not be pulled back into past moments of pain, look at the world as it is now. Then really look at what your life’s purpose is and go achieve it! If you have trouble figuring it out how, read “30 Vital Things Your Future Self Will Thank You For“. It gives you some ideas.

22. Eat carbs!

Somewhere along the line, carbs became Public Enemy Number One with regard to dietary badboys. People everywhere are on the “No Carbs” band wagon.

Your body needs carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are your body’s way of getting instant energy. If you do not eat enough carbs, your body takes protein and turns it into carbs anyway.

Obviously you don’t want to live on bread and birthday cake, everything must be done in moderation but carbs do have a place in our diets along with proteins, vegetables, and fruits. What does not have a place in our diets is highly processed food as well as simple carbs like those found in sugary sweets, avoid these. Eat fresh, exercise and count calories to avoid obesity and live your life. Learn more about carbs here.

23. Play on social media!

The blood of life is communication. It is a truth that should be written down in concrete and never forgotten. When one is in communication with his fellows, he is more alive. It almost doesn’t matter what the communication is as long as it is accompanied by a certain amount of agreement and a certain amount of love and care.

Social media has made it possible for us to be in communication with, and get to know people on completely different continents.

I have always said that travel, meeting and growing to love other people is the key to world peace. We are not okay with someone bombing a village if we know the people in it. Suddenly everything having to do with other races becomes personal and that is how it should be.

We can move mountains just by communicating with others. Go nuts with communications! Be respectful and work to create unity in areas that need it. You will discover how truly powerful communication can be.

24. Drink a great cup of coffee!

Coffee is good for you if you don’t drink pots and pots of it. Coffee is filled with antioxidants and gives you a boost when you need it. Don’t settle for lousy coffee. Go get the good stuff!

25. Turn your face to the sun!

After years of hearing about how damaging the sun’s rays are, we are now being treated for vitamin D deficiencies! There are so may benefits to sun exposure that I cannot outline them all here. If you want more great information check out Dr. Mercola’s recommendations.

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26. Have a great glass of wine!

Wine, especially red wine has many healthy properties. From reducing your risk of stroke or heart disease to reducing your risk of colon cancer, red wine has become our good and loyal friend.

I am not advocating a drunken binge and never drink and drive, but have a glass of wine every so often. Sit and enjoy it while watching a sunset or enjoying a good book.

27. Eat fatty foods!

Fats, along with carbs have been considered the Bonnie and Clyde of dietary gangsters. They sit in their doughnut getaway car with their French fry tommy guns waiting for you to slip up and eat something fattening so they can come in and finish you off.

Fat is not necessarily bad. We have heard that there are good fats and bad fats. This is true. Your body needs some fat! Obviously sugary and fatty treats are to be avoided but honestly, one doughnut once in awhile will not kill you.

If you really want a fatty or sugary snack, don’t settle for the Little Debbie’s or Hostess cakes, go get a super high end cake that will really satisfy you. If you are gonna go, go big! Then get back on your normal, healthy diet.

28. Buy gifts for yourself!

Every so often we need to treat ourselves. If your life will be made much better because of that new handbag, go get it! Life’s little treats are one of the things that make life great.

29. Make up your own mind!

There is nothing as powerful as your own counsel. Nobody knows the ins and outs of your situation as much as you do and no one else is responsible for it. There are those who will disagree with how you are living your life but what of it? It’s your life and your responsibility. You know deep down what is right.

30. Believe that you are rebel!

The most powerful and the best people I know really believe that they are rebels. They know that they are ethical because they make a point of it. They know that they are smart because they have the power of good observation. They know that they are strong because they stand by their decisions and commitments.

They do not harm others, but help whenever they can. They are rebels because they have decided first what being rebellious means to them and then being and doing those things. The world needs more rebels! Be bad to the bone but in a good way!

Do you feel liberated? Have a look around and see what other behaviors are considered bad that might actually be good. I’ll bet you find a whole slew of them! Then go do those things and have a great life!

Write me a comment if you want to. I love hearing from you!

Featured photo credit: A cute, bi-racial toddler boy is sticking his tongue out at the camera. via shutterstock.com

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Chris Ellis

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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