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5 Ways to Deal With Hardship and Pain in Life

5 Ways to Deal With Hardship and Pain in Life

Life throws many curve balls our way—it could be said that when one person goes to bed heartbroken, another could wake up finding true love. It’s a never-ending cycle of disappointments and achievements, but although we might presume that each of us are capable of getting back up every time life kicks us to the ground, that is far from reality. Sometimes it really hurts being in a situation you have no control of, and making decisions that seem completely unfair to you will definitely find their way into your life. Regardless of the tough issues you may face, it’s getting back up and moving forward that counts the most when you need to deal with hardship. This is a list of 5 things I’ve tried in my own life just to help me believe in a brighter future and get past a tough situation.

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    1. Reflect On the Bad Times in Your Life

    This may sound like a bad idea, but it does serve a purpose: you may feel depressed when thinking about past sorrows, but the idea behind reflecting on past hardship isn’t to run you down; it’s to prove to yourself that you have gotten past them. Usually we’re afraid that a tough time will break us, but when you think about the countless times you’ve actually gotten past what you thought was the worst experience in your life only proves that you’ve gotten stronger. Allow those victories to be an opportunity for you to see beyond the baggage in front of you.

    2. Write or Talk About How You Feel

    I’ll be honest: keeping my feelings to myself used to plague me and made me feel alone, but when I found someone who actually genuinely cared about me, it became natural to share how I felt with her and that contributed immensely to my ability to overcome troublesome situations. Not only did I speak to her about how I felt, I also decided to blog about it, and though talking to strangers about your issues may seem crazy, it actually isn’t. In fact, it’s what therapists regard as their bread-winning strategy; the ability to be neutral and use their lack of a personal relationship with you as a means of helping you. It doesn’t matter if you want to talk, sing, or write about how you feel, just get it off your chest and the weight on your shoulders won’t seem so crippling.

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    3. Detach Yourself From the Situation

    It can be overwhelming when you’re in the middle of a heated argument or office politics, and there’s no way you’ll be able to make a rational decision when caught in the midst of a fire. They say that running away from your problems will never help, and though that’s partially true, it doesn’t mean that you need to submerge yourself so deeply into a situation that you run out of air to breathe and lose the ability to weigh the pros and cons of your choices. That happens more than we like to admit, which is why its important to detach yourself from a situation long enough to think clearly without having people hanging over your shoulders. This helps because you finally have a break to think things through and in cases like this, a lot of thought is needed.

    4. Remind Yourself That You’re Not Alone

    It’s easy to curl up into a ball and feel like your world is closing in from loneliness, and it’s so hard to remember that there is definitely someone out there who loves you. I know for a fact that we Lifehack readers are tough folks, and the fact that you’re here means that you have the strength to realize that help is but a URL away. Regardless of who or what you depend on, you need to remind yourself that you are not alone; you have people who do care. Even if it’s just one person, that’s enough to give you reason to remind yourself that you will never truly be alone. Sometimes it’s strangers who may share the same feelings as you do. Think about it—you may not know any of these readers personally but they could be in the exact same situation as you, so in fact, no one is truly alone.

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    5. Accept the Results and Get Back Up Again, Only Stronger

    Finally, it’s time to come to terms with what has happened. Regardless of whether the results of your choices proved to be helpful or not, it’s time for you to accept them and get back up. This time you have a new experience to add to your book of life so the next time something tries to knock you down, it won’t be easy because you will be strong and determined to push forward. Life will go on, time will never stand still, and it rests upon you to make the right decision of moving forward. Don’t dwell on “what could be” or “what if” circumstances; things are done, and it’s time for you to see that you may have a new battle scar, but you will certainly have gained a whole lot more character.

     

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    Last Updated on September 17, 2018

    7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

    7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

    Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

    Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

    When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

    Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

    1. You’re depressed about your home life.

    No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

    However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

    If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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    When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

    You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

    2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

    Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

    If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

    You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

    If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

    3. You can’t stop snooping.

    Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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    I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

    Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

    So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

    It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

    If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

    4. You’re afraid of commitment.

    If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

    Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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    No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

    If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

    Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

    5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

    If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

    Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

    Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

    Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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    If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

    6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

    When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

    When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

    If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

    7. You chase past feelings.

    It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

    You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

    When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

    Final thoughts

    If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

    Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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