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Avoid Life Dramas With These Tips

Avoid Life Dramas With These Tips

Anytime I see any version of “no drama” on someone’s social media profile, I automatically assume they’re full of drama. You create your own drama in life, so, if you’re sick of life dramas, you’re doing it to yourself. Stop hitting yourself and take 10 steps toward a drama-free life.

1. Avoid Giving Unsolicited Advice

    I’m sure you know the exact way to fix everyone’s problems. You could single-handedly solve world hunger, bridge the income gap, and enact world peace. The reality is you have no idea what you’re talking about, and even if you do, nobody’s interested unless they’re directly asking you. Keep your advice to yourself, and you’ll avoid a lot of unnecessary drama.

    2. Know Your Limits

      People have a tendency to over-commit themselves. When you have too many commitments, you can’t focus everything you should on all of them. Things fall by the wayside, and you become a flake, no matter how hard you try. If you keep falling short of peoples’ expectations, they’ll all end up “against” you, and you’ll find yourself surrounded by drama.

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      3. Mind Your Beeswax

        It’s ok to socialize with people, but keep your nose out of other people’s business. If the treatment of whistle-blowers like Edward Snowden and Chelsea Manning have taught us anything, it’s people get overly dramatic when their secrets are leaked. Avoid the drama by minding your own business.

        4. Speak Honestly

          Lies are annoying – they fill your mind with all this extra gibberish. When you lie to people, you create your own unnecessary drama that could’ve easily been avoided. It’s a conscious choice you’re making to lie, and the lies will unravel sooner or later. Avoid the drama of covering the truth and the drama when it’s revealed you lied by speaking honestly.

          5. Focus On Yourself

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            If you’re focused on getting ahead in your goals, you won’t even notice the drama. You’ll be so zoned in on your own future all the side-drama just fades into the background. It becomes as important to you as the suffering of all those starving children in Africa and abused pets Sarah McLachlan sings about.

            6. Learn To Say No

              People will ask you a lot of questions. If you’re asked if you know something, deny it. Don’t try to say it in a way they know you know but can’t say so you feel important or special – just deny it. Don’t get involved. It’s that simple. And if someone you don’t want to talk to texts you with drama, don’t respond. They’ll get bored with it sooner or later.

              7. Stop Gossip

                I’m no gossip, but I heard Sandy tell John she overheard Bill and Katie talking about how Frank is. Gossip is a two-way street. It’s all well and good to tell everyone about how someone else gossips, but that makes you a gossip. The listener is a gossip, too. You don’t get to project your downfalls on others to absolve yourself from responsibility.

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                8. Smile

                  When you smile, you become the center of the room. You end up in the driver’s seat. If people come to you with drama, you can steer the conversation elsewhere. They’ll follow you because you seem more confident. If they don’t, you can confidently ignore them and walk away. No more drama.

                  9. Be Compassionate

                    A lot of so-called “drama” in life is really due to the way you’re reacting. People have problems, and sometimes they need to vent. Everyone vents, and you can be compassionate to all of them. It’s possible to listen to peoples’ problems as a courtesy. You don’t have to truly listen if you don’t want to, but at the very least give the impression that you are. It’s a temporary situation, and, if it’s that uncomfortable to you, you can avoid it the next time.

                    10. Meditate

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                      Life will always have drama – it’s unavoidable. Instead of letting it get to you, meditate. You’ll never find that fairy tale “happily ever after” life where everything is easy. The richest and poorest, youngest and oldest, biggest and smallest of us, have problems. The grass on both sides of the fence needs constant watering, weeding and mowing.

                      Suck it up…

                      Featured photo credit: clipart via clipartbest.com

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                      Last Updated on December 3, 2019

                      10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

                      10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

                      There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

                      Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

                      1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

                      Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

                      There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

                      Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

                      2. Pace Yourself

                      Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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                      Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

                      Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

                      3. You Can’t Please Everyone

                      “I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

                      You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

                      Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

                      4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

                      Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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                      We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

                      Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

                      5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

                      “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

                      No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

                      We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

                      6. It’s Not All About You

                      You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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                      It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

                      7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

                      No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

                      We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

                      Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

                      8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

                      That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

                      Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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                      Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

                      9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

                      Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

                      The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

                      10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

                      We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

                      When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

                      Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

                      This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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                      Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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