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9 Ways To Stop Living Someone Else’s Life

9 Ways To Stop Living Someone Else’s Life

Whether it’s within your career, your relationships, or another aspect of your life, it’s challenging to wake up to the reality that you’ve been living someone else’s life.

Here are nine steps you can take to live a life that’s more true to yourself:

1. Think about the bigger picture

We all have a finite amount of time in which to live our lives, and every day that goes by is one day less you have to live a life that’s true to yourself.

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Taking a step back, considering the bigger picture, and remembering that your time is limited can help you stay focused on your real dreams and goals, rather than the dreams or goals you think you should have.

2. Question your beliefs

Everyone grows up with an internal script about how the world works and how we should spend our lives. That script forms in childhood and influences the way your life plays out.

Often, our internal scripts are unconscious and we go about our daily lives without even realizing that we’re acting on them. If you want to stop living someone else’s life, it’s important to start questioning your internal script and the beliefs behind it.

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3. Invest in your self-awareness

Therapy, coaching, and self-work like journaling are all useful tools for life transitions, including moving towards a life that is more satisfying and meaningful to you.

Not only will these tools support you through the process of questioning your beliefs, but they will also help you uncover your authentic values, and look ahead to create a vision for a life that is truly yours.

4. Notice when you defer to others

Sometimes, we feel pressure to conform to the values and beliefs of other people in our lives. In these situations, the first step towards shifting this pattern is to become aware of it.

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Start noticing when you defer to other people by default. Notice whether this happens around specific people, specific areas of life, or specific topics of conversation. Keep a list of your trigger points in these areas so you can build up a picture of the situations in which you’re most likely to prioritize other people’s beliefs and values over your own.

Once you have that picture, you’ll become more aware of when this is happening in the moment, and take steps to stop your deferral process before it’s even begun.

6. Set boundaries

If you feel under pressure from specific people to live a life that’s not true to yourself, then it’s time to set boundaries. Doing this can be challenging, as you risk disrupting the dynamic of your relationship with that person or people. Ultimately, however, the people who respect and care about your well-being will want to support you as you explore your individuality and develop a life that is more authentic.

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5. Have fun and experiment

If you’ve been living someone else’s life, it can be hard to visualize what your ideal life might even look like.

This is a great opportunity to experiment with possibilities and explore your interests, dreams, goals and ambitions.

7. Spend time with yourself

Just like we get to know other people by spending time with them, we get to know ourselves by spending time with ourselves. Make time to be alone with yourself, without distraction, and begin the process of reconnecting to your true thoughts and feelings.

8. Imagine your eulogy

Just like taking a bigger-picture perspective, thinking about how you want to be remembered can help you focus on what’s most important to you. What do you want people to say about who you were and what you did?

9. Remember that it’s your life

As obvious as it might sound, remember that your life is your your own and that, as much as other people might give you advice, you are the one who will have to live with the consequences of that advice. Keeping this reality in mind can help you distance yourself from other people’s opinions and beliefs.

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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