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9 Things to Remember if You Love a Person Who Has Lost their Parents

9 Things to Remember if You Love a Person Who Has Lost their Parents

We all have different experiences when we lose our parents. Yet these periods are dark for everyone. It is a time when one wants to cling on to what existed and try to relive it. Understanding loved ones and remembering some helpful tips on the subject will go a long way to helping them heal and recover.

“No matter what the age of the parent or how the death occurred, the pain for the surviving adult child can be devastating.”

– Katherine Fair Donnelly, Author of Recovering From the Loss of a Parent

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1. They will always have a reason to grieve

A parent’s death often comes as a shock to their children. Sometimes there is a mixed feeling of surprise and abandonment. It becomes a struggle to face the fact that someone who was there a moment ago is gone. Those who have lost their parents will always grieve.

2. They have lost a connection

Blood, as they say, is thicker than water. Someone who has lost a parent instantly loses that connection to their childhood and history.

3. They have lost a special kind of love

Let’s face it, no one can love you unconditionally the way your parents can. That special kind of love that nurtured them from infancy to adulthood somehow is gone forever. And is incredibly difficult to have anyone replace that feeling of warmth and affection.

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4. They will grieve in their own way

Remember that everyone has a way of grieving. We all grieve differently, but grief itself is universal. There will be a time of grief for them, while depression and isolation may be their only comfort. Questions are asked and memories linger. Let them grieve their own way, because to grieve is human.

5. They have enough well-meaning phrases already

They have listened to many phrases and consolatory messages already: “Your dad was a good man.” “Your mom will always be special.” “Your parents will be missed.” Sometimes all these phrases can choke them, because no one can ever know the depth and realness of their sorrow.

6. They will always treasure their memories

Memories of their lost parents will become a treasure to them. Pictures and sounds of their parents will now matter to them more than ever. Somehow, these can comfort them and heal them through their period of grief. For example, that plant a mother cared for or that music a father played ignites everlasting feelings—the same feelings that make them never want to let go.

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7. They become more spiritual

Many may not tell you this, but when we lose something so dear, we all embrace some element of spirituality. People with lost parents try to see life from a deeper angle and face life with hope.

8. They need a support system

Although it is difficult for them to reach out and accept support, they all need a support system. They do need caring friends and loved ones who will provide the understanding they need, loved ones who will face the journey boldly with them. They need people who won’t tell them the wrong words or try to steal their grief from them. They need people who will accept and encourage them to acknowledge their dark moments.

9. They have physical and emotional limits

The feelings of loss and sadness could leave them fatigued. During that period, they may not be able to think clearly or make smart decisions. Their energy level may slow down. There is nothing wrong with them; it is just their body simply adjusting to the grief. Try and respect their wishes at the moment. They need rest, balanced meals, and a light schedule that will not overwhelm them. It is important that they are treated right and with utmost care and attention. It is not about giving pity, but allowing them to adapt to this dark period.

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Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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