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9 Things to Remember if You Love a Person Who Has Lost their Parents

9 Things to Remember if You Love a Person Who Has Lost their Parents

We all have different experiences when we lose our parents. Yet these periods are dark for everyone. It is a time when one wants to cling on to what existed and try to relive it. Understanding loved ones and remembering some helpful tips on the subject will go a long way to helping them heal and recover.

“No matter what the age of the parent or how the death occurred, the pain for the surviving adult child can be devastating.”

– Katherine Fair Donnelly, Author of Recovering From the Loss of a Parent

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1. They will always have a reason to grieve

A parent’s death often comes as a shock to their children. Sometimes there is a mixed feeling of surprise and abandonment. It becomes a struggle to face the fact that someone who was there a moment ago is gone. Those who have lost their parents will always grieve.

2. They have lost a connection

Blood, as they say, is thicker than water. Someone who has lost a parent instantly loses that connection to their childhood and history.

3. They have lost a special kind of love

Let’s face it, no one can love you unconditionally the way your parents can. That special kind of love that nurtured them from infancy to adulthood somehow is gone forever. And is incredibly difficult to have anyone replace that feeling of warmth and affection.

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4. They will grieve in their own way

Remember that everyone has a way of grieving. We all grieve differently, but grief itself is universal. There will be a time of grief for them, while depression and isolation may be their only comfort. Questions are asked and memories linger. Let them grieve their own way, because to grieve is human.

5. They have enough well-meaning phrases already

They have listened to many phrases and consolatory messages already: “Your dad was a good man.” “Your mom will always be special.” “Your parents will be missed.” Sometimes all these phrases can choke them, because no one can ever know the depth and realness of their sorrow.

6. They will always treasure their memories

Memories of their lost parents will become a treasure to them. Pictures and sounds of their parents will now matter to them more than ever. Somehow, these can comfort them and heal them through their period of grief. For example, that plant a mother cared for or that music a father played ignites everlasting feelings—the same feelings that make them never want to let go.

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7. They become more spiritual

Many may not tell you this, but when we lose something so dear, we all embrace some element of spirituality. People with lost parents try to see life from a deeper angle and face life with hope.

8. They need a support system

Although it is difficult for them to reach out and accept support, they all need a support system. They do need caring friends and loved ones who will provide the understanding they need, loved ones who will face the journey boldly with them. They need people who won’t tell them the wrong words or try to steal their grief from them. They need people who will accept and encourage them to acknowledge their dark moments.

9. They have physical and emotional limits

The feelings of loss and sadness could leave them fatigued. During that period, they may not be able to think clearly or make smart decisions. Their energy level may slow down. There is nothing wrong with them; it is just their body simply adjusting to the grief. Try and respect their wishes at the moment. They need rest, balanced meals, and a light schedule that will not overwhelm them. It is important that they are treated right and with utmost care and attention. It is not about giving pity, but allowing them to adapt to this dark period.

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Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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