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9 Things to Remember if You Love a Person Who Has Lost their Parents

9 Things to Remember if You Love a Person Who Has Lost their Parents

We all have different experiences when we lose our parents. Yet these periods are dark for everyone. It is a time when one wants to cling on to what existed and try to relive it. Understanding loved ones and remembering some helpful tips on the subject will go a long way to helping them heal and recover.

“No matter what the age of the parent or how the death occurred, the pain for the surviving adult child can be devastating.”

– Katherine Fair Donnelly, Author of Recovering From the Loss of a Parent

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1. They will always have a reason to grieve

A parent’s death often comes as a shock to their children. Sometimes there is a mixed feeling of surprise and abandonment. It becomes a struggle to face the fact that someone who was there a moment ago is gone. Those who have lost their parents will always grieve.

2. They have lost a connection

Blood, as they say, is thicker than water. Someone who has lost a parent instantly loses that connection to their childhood and history.

3. They have lost a special kind of love

Let’s face it, no one can love you unconditionally the way your parents can. That special kind of love that nurtured them from infancy to adulthood somehow is gone forever. And is incredibly difficult to have anyone replace that feeling of warmth and affection.

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4. They will grieve in their own way

Remember that everyone has a way of grieving. We all grieve differently, but grief itself is universal. There will be a time of grief for them, while depression and isolation may be their only comfort. Questions are asked and memories linger. Let them grieve their own way, because to grieve is human.

5. They have enough well-meaning phrases already

They have listened to many phrases and consolatory messages already: “Your dad was a good man.” “Your mom will always be special.” “Your parents will be missed.” Sometimes all these phrases can choke them, because no one can ever know the depth and realness of their sorrow.

6. They will always treasure their memories

Memories of their lost parents will become a treasure to them. Pictures and sounds of their parents will now matter to them more than ever. Somehow, these can comfort them and heal them through their period of grief. For example, that plant a mother cared for or that music a father played ignites everlasting feelings—the same feelings that make them never want to let go.

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7. They become more spiritual

Many may not tell you this, but when we lose something so dear, we all embrace some element of spirituality. People with lost parents try to see life from a deeper angle and face life with hope.

8. They need a support system

Although it is difficult for them to reach out and accept support, they all need a support system. They do need caring friends and loved ones who will provide the understanding they need, loved ones who will face the journey boldly with them. They need people who won’t tell them the wrong words or try to steal their grief from them. They need people who will accept and encourage them to acknowledge their dark moments.

9. They have physical and emotional limits

The feelings of loss and sadness could leave them fatigued. During that period, they may not be able to think clearly or make smart decisions. Their energy level may slow down. There is nothing wrong with them; it is just their body simply adjusting to the grief. Try and respect their wishes at the moment. They need rest, balanced meals, and a light schedule that will not overwhelm them. It is important that they are treated right and with utmost care and attention. It is not about giving pity, but allowing them to adapt to this dark period.

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Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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