Advertising
Advertising

9 Things Only People With Albinism Would Understand

9 Things Only People With Albinism Would Understand

If you or a loved one suffers from albinism, you can be sure that you will have come across ignorance, misunderstanding, fear, and prejudice. The same old story. If you are different, you are picked on, teased, bullied and often excluded socially. Perhaps albinism gets far too much attention because white skin and hair is so different, especially if you are living in Africa. Here are 9 things that you can relate to if you suffer from this disease.

1. You wish people were better informed.

You and I know that albinism is a very rare disease. It is estimated that only 1 in 17,000 in the USA are born with this genetic defect. It is simply a lack of melanin which normally adds color to skin and hair. Because of this deficiency in melanin, albinos have very fair or white hair and also white skin. Albinos may have problems with eyesight and may have only 20/100 vision. They have to be very careful in the sun and wear sunblock. They may also suffer from photophobia which is an extreme sensitivity to light. But, apart from that, they are perfectly normal. If people were better informed, they might start to treat you like a normal human being.

2. You wish people would stop staring.

This becomes extremely irritating. If people can accept different races and different body shapes, why on earth cannot they take an albino on board? This was the question that Megan Palmer, a 16 year old albino who is also a filmmaker, wanted to address. She felt there was an urgent need to educate people so that they would stop gawking. Her short film on albinism was nominated for four awards at the THIMUN Qatar Film Festival.

Advertising

Megan has already achieved some of her objectives in that her film has gone viral on YouTube and is raising awareness about a forgotten minority. The characters in the film all talk about their difficulties and frustrations in living with albinism. It is a very moving tribute to their courage and persistence.

3. You wish filmmakers would stop portraying albino villains and weirdoes.

Nothing wrong with starring albinos in films but so far these have been almost all very negative portrayals. This only adds to the miscomprehension and intolerance. Have you seen The Da Vinci Code, for example? You may remember Silas, the albino monk who practises severe corporal mortification. What about the albino twins in The Matrix Reloaded? It seems that Hollywood has a penchant for portraying several albino characters who are evil, ruthless, and violent assassins. Name me one famous film with a normal, sympathetic or funny albino! The claim that many albino villains have saved some lousy films from oblivion is hardly a compliment.

4. You wish people would stop wanting to touch your hair.

In Megan Palmer’s film, several of the albino people talk about how disturbing it is to have people approach them and ask to touch their hair. Why would people want to touch your hair? They do not want to touch people with red hair for instance! These people are ignorant and although they may be seeking information, they are often unaware of their insensitivity.

Advertising

5. You wish schools would help more.

When parents of children with albinism fill in an Education Plan or IEP, they are signalling that their children need extra help in the classroom. Teachers usually ensure that large print copies of textbooks and worksheets are available. But some children can manage quite well with proper reading glasses which can also help to correct astigmatism.Children may find that hand-held monocular devices and other magnifying aids are helpful.

The major problems arise when children have to socialize. Teasing and bullying are all too common, unfortunately. You feel that schools could do a lot more in making children aware of differences in ability and appearance and how to behave accordingly.

“I was insulted, harassed and tortured by my peers at school and during play.” – John Makumbe

6. You wish people were more aware of what is happening in Africa.

Ignorance and superstition in Tanzania and East Africa have now resulted in albinos being murdered! Estimates say that the rate of albinism in Tanzania is 1 in 2,000. It is a terrible tragedy because people believe that the bones and even the skin of albinos have magical properties. Some people believe that HIV and cancer can be cured by using the body parts. In addition, the albinos can rarely go out in the sun because of the risk of skin cancer. Their life expectancy is also much shorter than in western countries and many albinos die in their early thirties.

“To some of our African communities they think it’s a curse – having such a child.” – Jotham Makoha

7. You wish people did not place such a high value on labels.

Unfortunately, our society wants to label any difference or handicap from early childhood. The stigma of having a label slapped on you is so unfair. Labels such as ADHD, disabled, albino or the more general SEN (special educational needs) tend to exclude children. They emphasize the condition, rather than the person. Yes, the schools are catering for their needs but this should be a totally seamless process so that all children are included and will never be a target for abuse. Teaching children to be tolerant and supportive of differences should be one of the main pillars of the educational system.

Advertising

8. You wish people would not ask such personal questions.

Whether you are a child or an adult with albinism, you will always be asked the wrong question, which is usually highly insensitive or obnoxious. People will try to see if your eyes are red because there is a stupid belief that this is the case. If only they knew! The fact is the light passing through the translucent iris means that a person may be seeing the actual blood vessels underneath. Most people with albinism have blue eyes but some have brown or hazel eyes. Then, some people even ask if you can see in the dark!

Some people will tease in a rather affectionate way but this very much depends whether the albino has a positive self image or not. It can be a useful starting point though for telling people the facts about albinism.

9. You wish there was more support and positive coverage in the media.

Coping with total ignorance, superstition and prejudice can be tough for the person with albinism. Myths abound. People will say that an albino can live for ever and that he or she is not really human! They are even afraid of touching an albino because they will be cursed.

Advertising

In order to counter that, many organisations and support groups for people with albinism are working hard to get a positive and accurate message out. Information needs to be provided and the media should be doing more in this regard. Many people with albinism have found great support from these charities and have benefited enormously. Now, if the media gave those organisations more coverage that would be great.

Featured photo credit: Sanne de Wild via lensculture.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

12 Ways to Work Smarter, Not Harder to Be More Productive 10 Reasons Why People Are Unmotivated (And How to Be Motivated) 10 Simple Morning Exercises to Make You Feel Great All Day What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It Write A Personal Mission Statement to Achieve Your Goal More Easily

Trending in Communication

1 11 Facts About Volunteering That Will Surely Impress You 2 I Hate My Wife – Why a Husband Would Resent His Spouse 3 How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them) 4 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 5 The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

Advertising

It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

Advertising

Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

Advertising

1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

Advertising

6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Read Next