Whether you envy someone because of his high metabolism, corner office, house on the lake, or latest solo travel to an exotic country, jealousy can throw you off your game, squander your energy, and generate angst for yourself.
Below are 8 surefire ways you can deal with jealousy to minimize its draining effects and harness its power:
1. Develop an Abundance Mindset
When you have a mindset of scarcity, it’s hard to appreciate others’ gains. If you believe there are limited pieces of the pie to go around, you’ll obsess over protecting your share and worry over what others have.
But with an abundance mindset, you can freely celebrate another person’s accomplishment and look for ways to make the pie bigger. Acting from a place of abundance heightens your level of satisfaction and adds to others’ sense of fulfillment.
2. Learn From Those Who Have Made It
If someone else was able to obtain the thing you covet, chances are, so can you. Another person’s success usually means the goal is possible and the dream is attainable.
Study what they did to get where they are. Decide how you can tweak tactics, update strategies, improve the process, and make the journey easier for yourself.
3. Acknowledge That You Have Something Unique to Contribute
Being aware of your personal strengths and gifts encourages you to make your mark, irrespective of what others do and achieve.
No one else has the exact same combination of talents, skills and knowledge that you have. Share your unique ideas and apply your individual experiences to create what you want and optimize what you have.
4. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Act like you have a lot going for you, even if you believe the next person has more. Reflect on your past success and future potential, and stop dwelling on how you stack up against those you envy.
Capitalize on what you already have instead of brood over what you’re missing. Strive to be at the top of your own game, rather than try to out-do others.
5. Get Your Act Together
Jealousy can be a reminder of a dream or goal that you placed on the back-burner, but still desire. If this is why you feel envy, start getting your act together.
Acknowledge that most people worked diligently toward what they have. Take small, doable steps to achieve what you want. Let go of what’s not working.
6. Determine if What the Other Person Has is What You Really Want
Are you feeling jealous of others due to peer pressure, societal expectations or family obligations? Do you really need the big house, luxury car, fancy corner office, or rich and famous friends to have a fulfilling and purposeful life?
What seems to make one person happy might not have the same effects for you. Success doesn’t have to mean fitting in with the mainstream, standing out from the crowd, acquiring material possessions, or having external accomplishments.
7. Realize That Another Person’s Success Doesn’t Make You a Failure
Individuals make progress at different paces and reach milestones on their own time. Just because one person reached the finish line before you did in one race doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t win the next race.
Starting the race or crossing the finish line is an accomplishment in and of itself. Don’t make someone else’s success devalue your sense of personal progress and individual achievement.
8. Understand That Jealousy is a Normal, Universal Emotion
People get jealous for all sorts of reasons, including fear and insecurity, the need to protect core interests, and the desire for a more joyful life.
Once you accept that jealousy is a natural emotion, you can consciously choose how to act on it. You don’t have to pout, stomp around, slam doors, throw a pity party, or withdraw from the world. Jealousy gets the better of you only if you let it.