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8 Things You Should Spend More Time On And 8 Things You Shouldn’t

8 Things You Should Spend More Time On And 8 Things You Shouldn’t

What should we actually spend our time on? It is interesting to consider that we have more time than ever before. Although many spend their time on providing food, clothing and shelter for themselves and their families, according to the U.S Department of Labor, the average American over the age of 15 still has more than five hours of free time each day. So how do we make our time count? What do we have to eliminate, delegate, and minimize?

“Dost thou love life?  Then do not squander time,
for that’s the stuff life is made of.”
―Benjamin Franklin

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1. We should spend more time with ourselves rather than with the needless dramas around us

There are many benefits to spending time with ourselves. It relieves stress, gives us a rounder perspective of life, and helps us to be more independent. It also offers us clarity, purpose, and definition. By spending more time with ourselves, we can avoid the needless dramas that surround us. Nonsense like hurtful relationships and negative talk will only make us unhappy.

2. We should spend more time reading instead of watching TV

Watching TV is becoming not just a leisure activity, but an addiction. In the United States, according to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average American watched TV for 2.8 hours per day. This could amount to 9 years of TV for an average person. All that time could be spent on something more productive or enjoyable, like reading. Reading will help you to know and understand people around you, the world, and yourself.

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3. We should spend time with our families rather than compulsive busyness

Our family should remain a priority in our lives. They are the reason we do so many things in life. However, it is easy to start neglecting the people that motivate our hard work. Spending time with your family affords you the opportunity to appreciate the fundamental things of life.

4. We should spend time giving to others rather than pursuing those things we cannot have

Giving makes us happier and more productive. It also means that we make a contribution to life’s unending cycle. We shouldn’t be a reservoir, but a river aiding to the flow of life. It is easy to conclude that we do not have enough, so why should we give? But you should appreciate what you already have and share some of it.

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5. We need to take care of ourselves instead of worrying about failures and mistakes

There are a lot of seemingly successful people who make great money, but whose mental and physical well-being is terrible. Slowly, they are consumed in stress and failures and cannot find a direction in which to go. It is better to take care of ourselves first by exercising and taking breaks before worrying about those things that are not within our control.

6. We need to take action instead of procrastinating

There is never a perfect time. Procrastination is the thief of time. But we can make the best use of our time by going after our true desires. Chase your dreams, because there is never a better time to start than now.

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7. We need to learn and educate ourselves rather than staying in wrong relationships

Time should be spent on learning something new. Education is endless and limitless. We are not on this planet to stagnate, but to continue searching and rediscovering ourselves. Wrong relationships may try to bruise our self-esteem and make us feel less acceptable, but we know that we can use our time in a better way instead.

8. We need to build good habits instead of spending money on wrong choices

Building good habits save us time and resources. It also helps us to feel more accomplished and worthy. Spending our money on useless things can affect our future and the genuine plans we intend to commit to.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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