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8 simple ways to help someone today and make them feel special

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8 simple ways to help someone today and make them feel special

Spending more time making others feel special by being more thoughtful and considerate should become part of a daily routine. The theme is about ‘giving’ which has a powerful effect not only on others but upon your own well-being also. Here are some simple actionable ideas you can implement today which will help make someone’s day and make them feel great! The themes to all the tips below are about being genuine and authentic in your approach while opening up your heart to others as you set out to help someone.

1. Spend time each day thinking about how and what you can ‘give’ to others

Focus on being thoughtful and meaningful rather than having to spend money. Sending flowers to someone via courier bought online in a couple of clicks is a nice thought, but far more personal if the flowers are chosen by you and hand delivered. What have you got to offer your friends and family? Just taking the time out to think will help create some ideas you can start to implement and be creative!

2. Call someone you care about to let them know that you are thinking of them

This may be someone who may be facing a few issues in their life at the moment, or even someone who is experiencing some great times and successes. Even leaving a short message is effective and does the job. Simply thinking about that person is a waste if the thought isn’t clearly communicated!

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3. Pay someone a compliment

Preferably face to face with solid eye contact, even if it’s a stranger that you’ve never met!  Who doesn’t like receiving compliments? Tell someone they look great but don’t overdo it. Make sure you are being authentic and genuine.

4. Give positive feedback to someone with others around to hear  

Saying to a friend, family member, colleague or employee something really positive about something they did is even better if others are around to hear. Reinforce a specific behaviour rather than saying “great job today”. Rather, say “I love the way that you managed to show your dedication through completing this take on time with such commitment”.

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5. Say “thank you”

Say thank you more often is a form of being grateful. Don’t rely on momentous occasions and greeting cards to say your thanks. An unexpected “thank you” is far more powerful and always appreciated. Being appreciative about something someone has done for you is always well received. The words “I just wanted to say thanks” means a lot and helps us stop taking things for granted. Tell your parents you really appreciate the support they have given you, or tell the cleaner you just wanted them to know you are grateful for the work they do.

6. Smile more

When you greet people, smile more. It’s inviting and instantly creates a positive feeling for others to warm to you and feel more friendly and upbeat. People who are down and frown typically don’t make others feel good around them. Positive people who smile have this innate ability to bring others along for the ride.

7. Send someone an article of interest

This shows thought and consideration. If you read something that could be useful for someone else, why not share it and send it to them also with a nice personalised message attached.

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8. Repeat

Most importantly, make the above actions a regular habit and part of your routine rather than on an ad-hoc basis. Watch the Karma start to flow and relationships flourish.

 

Watch what happens when you start to implement these actions more regularly. Others feel great and you will feel great. There is no downside and there doesn’t need to be monetary spend to achieve the same outcome. The only cost is the time taken to think about others and take action accordingly. It’s amazing how such simple things can be done that are far more impactful than simply buying a Porsche for someone! But hey, I’m sure you wouldn’t turn down the offer, right?

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Featured photo credit: Photopin via

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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